• We have updated the guidelines regarding posting political content: please see the stickied thread on Website Issues.

Mumbai Thief Force-Fed 48 Bananas to Recover Gold Chain

Odradek

Gone But Not Forgotten
(ACCOUNT RETIRED)
Joined
Dec 22, 2015
Messages
33
An x-ray revealed on Thursday morning that a metallic object -- purportedly the stolen chain -- was lying in his stomach, proof of the 25-year old thief’s first ever crime.

The woman victim had not yet lodged a compliant so the police interrogated Ghaware who admitted to swallowing the gold chain.

Police arranged for another x-ray on Thursday evening which confirmed the earlier x-ray report. Then it ordered a basketful of bananas and forced Ghaware to eat them till the wee hours.

Early on Friday, he was escorted to the loo by four policemen, who also filmed the morning ablution as the chain finally slithered out of Ghaware’s system.

Police ordered him to wash it with phenyl and placed him under arrest. He was produced before a magistrate on Friday and remanded to custody.

http://www.hindustantimes.com/india...-gold-chain/story-r0nVZcyTMkmuXdmStB7t0M.html
 
You can die from eating too many bananas, Peter Andre overconsumed and had to be rushed to hospital. I'd suggest figs as a better alternative.
 
Overconsumption of anything can be bad, including figs.
 
If it was figs they wouldn't need to use as many as the entire hands of bananas they stuffed his face with.
 
Wouldnt a vindaloo of surficed after all it is India,saying that some of the vindaloos :mad: you get would of probably melted the gold...!!
 
You can die from eating too many bananas, Peter Andre overconsumed and had to be rushed to hospital. I'd suggest figs as a better alternative.
Yeah, I was told as a child that a serving of 8 bananas includes a lethal dose of potassium. Many's the time that I've curbed my 'nana intake for fear of death.
 
a serving of 8 bananas includes a lethal dose of potassium

This BBC Page addresses that myth.

Catherine Collins, a dietitian at St George's Hospital in London:

"You would probably need around 400 bananas a day to build up the kind of potassium levels that would cause your heart to stop beating... Bananas are not dangerous - and in fact they are, and always have been, very good for you."

The article goes on to say that people with, for instance, kidney disease may already have high Potassium levels and should avoid foods that provide more.

48 bananas may be inhumane but not life-endangering. :bananas:

I never expected to need that emoticon!
 
Yep. Also, low potassium levels can cause heart problems such as palpitations.
My Mum was told to eat more bananas. Seemed to fix the problem.
 
Mumbai Police Force Swamped Under Weight of False Confessions

A Mumbai police spokesman has admitted that the city's police force is at breaking point after word of last Thursday's incident leaked to the press. Thousands of monkeys have since confessed to stealing and swallowing expensive items, ranging from jewellery to mountain bikes - and in one instance, a gold plated Daimler Sovereign once owned by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. The banana industry in India, which only last week was the largest exporter of bananas in the world, is in crisis as only nine bananas now remain, in a safety deposit box in Delhi - and two of these have already gone brown.

In a statement the Mumbai chief of police stated: 'You can't move for the little fuckers. There's millions of them. They're queuing up round the block. If only one in ten was telling the truth the value of their stomach contents would add up to the annual GDP of Brazil. We've made hundreds of arrests for throwing nuts at tourists and public masturbation - but have we found a single gold chain? Have we bollocks.'

The scene today outside Mumbai central district police headquarters:

queue%20of%20monkeys.jpeg
 
Last edited:
I know you'll never forgive me, spooks, but that's good satire. Love it.
 
I know you'll never forgive me, spooks, but that's good satire. Love it.

It took me ten minutes to work out what you were referring to - which I suppose indicates that I don't hold grudges or resent the odd difference of opinion.

(Actually, that's not entirely true - I wouldn't piss on the landlords of the flat next door to mine if they were on fire. But that's about it.)
 
Feck. That's as close to a declaration of love I suppose I'll ever get from you. Ten minutes does it for me. Let's start a commune.
 
Oh never mind. I liked the monkeys, and the direct contact was semi-meaningful. I take back the love thing. I'd secrete golden beebies for anyone given the right supplicants and enough semillon.
 
Back
Top