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The World's Dumbest Criminals

'For what I'm about to do I could get like 35!': Brazen gangsters who bragged about £275,000 heroin deals and posed on GOLD THRONES are jailed for 40 years
  • Four men used military encrypted mobiles to move drugs around the country
  • They hid the heroin and cocaine in boxes of dog food and washing powder
  • Gangsters bragged about their escapades, with one posing on a gold throne
  • Mohammed Jabbar, Mohammed Rafique, Jeremy Curran and Jonathan Clorley have all been jailed
By STEPH COCKROFT FOR MAILONLINE

PUBLISHED: 15:09 BST, 5 September 2017 | UPDATED: 15:58 BST, 5 September 2017

A gang who bragged about drug deals and posed on gold thrones while operating a major heroin ring have been jailed for a total of 40 years.

The four men were at the helm of a drugs operation which saw them use military encrypted mobiles to move drugs around the country, which they hid in boxes of dog food.

As they carried out their crimes, the foursome would pose for pictures and brag about their escapades on Facebook.

In one message before embarking on a deal, one of the men, Mohammed Jabbar, took a picture of himself wearing a balaclava and joked 'for what I'm about to do I could get like 35!'.

In another picture, he was seen posing in a gold throne while wearing sunglasses and a suit.




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Mohammed Jabbar, 28, (left), who has been jailed for his part in a drug ring, sits on a gold throne. His accomplice posted a picture before making a drugs deal

But the Manchester gang's huge operation began to unravel in July last year when officers found one of their customers - who had travelled to Cheetham Hill from Northampton - with a quarter of a kilo of cocaine.

It prompted a detailed police investigation which established how Jabbar, 28, and Mohammed Rafique, 40, had supplied the drugs.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4854456/Drug-gang-jailed-40-years.html
 
"Your honour my client would like a number of crimes against fashion taken into consideration."
 
In another picture, he was seen posing in a gold throne while wearing sunglasses and a suit.

It brought to mind the Father Ted episode in which a group of sheep-rustlers celebrate a successful raid by buying themselves crowns! :win:
 
Something I learned from experienced criminals - you always plan the getaway first ...

GAS STATION ROBBERY SUSPECT'S GETAWAY CAR RUNS OUT OF FUEL
Authorities say an Indiana man who robbed a gas station made off with food, drinks and cigarettes. What he didn't steal was gas.

The (Northwest Indiana) Times reports that a state trooper arrested 33-year-old Sean Harris on Wednesday after finding him stranded by the side of a two-lane highway with his vehicle out of fuel. Police say the South Bend-area man's blood alcohol level was above the legal limit.

Authorities say Harris was arrested not long after he entered the Lacrosse gas station, implied he had a gun and took the items.

SOURCE: http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/storie...ME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2017-09-16-13-33-22
 
And you never, ever write your name on your undies.

Bumbling thief in 'Friday' underpants thwarted by automatic door at Melbourne petrol station
By Gloria Kalache
Updated about an hour ago


Video: Bumbling thief robs petrol station but has trouble getting out (ABC News)

Map: Reservoir 3073
A bumbling thief in Melbourne wearing his 'Friday' underwear has been captured on CCTV throwing a cash drawer at a door when he was unable to get out of the petrol station he robbed.

CCTV released by Victoria Police showed the man walking into a service station on High Street in Reservoir with his underwear showing 'Friday' written on the top elastic.

That is despite the incident taking place on Wednesday last week.

Initially, the man was not allowed into the petrol station because his face was covered, but the doors opened when he removed the covering.

Once inside he covered his face again and used a pair of scissors to threaten staff, he then jumped the counter stealing cigarettes and cash.

But as he tried to flee the store, he had trouble getting the automatic door to open.

He tried to force it open, but when that failed he threw the cash register drawer at the doors sending the money flying.

Eventually he managed to get the door open using the manual button at the side of the door.

The man was seen running down High Street and is described as Caucasian, of medium build and with short dark hair.

Anyone that has information is asked to contact Crime Stoppers.
 
...the charge was "burglary offences" - presumably breaking and entering.

There hasn't been an offence of "breaking and entering" in the UK since s.26 Of the Larceny Act 1916 was replaced by s.9 of the Theft Act 1968. It's one of those anachronistic expressions that people seem to love to use, like referring to the old VELs ("tax discs") as "Road Fund Licences". As far as I remember (it was before even my time...) the Road Fund was done away with in 1937!

escargot1 said:
If you're where you shouldn't be with an intent to break the law (e.g. by theft) you are a burglar. You don't have to commit any further offence. You don't even have to have broken in - a burglary can be committed by climbing in through an open window.

Correct. To take it even further, you commit burglary by just reaching your hand in through that open window and stealing something. Like an expensive bottle of booze...

maximus otter
 
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Yeah, they could get her under the Sale of Goods Act...
 
A proper tulip.

LEECHBURG, Pa. (AP) — Police say a man who was at a Pennsylvania judge’s office to pay court fines stole a wallet that was near the payment window and used the cash inside to pay his fees.

Allegheny Township Patrolman Kerry Myers tells the Tribune-Review surveillance cameras caught the actions of Steven Rago.

Rago was out on bail on simple assault charges and was at a district court judge’s offices on Thursday to pay fees.

Myers says video shows the 31-year-old Rago putting a wallet into his sweat shirt pocket. He’s seen later paying the fine with cash.

https://apnews.com/ec8ade8a5d2a43a8...low&utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=AP_Oddities
 
I reckon its rather dumb to annoy the judge like that!

Police: Ohio man flees court at sentencing, crashes car

WADSWORTH, Ohio (AP) — Police say a man being sentenced in a road rage case walked out of an Ohio courtroom, jumped in a car and led police on a chase before crashing into an SUV.

Authorities say a couple and their baby were hurt in the crash near Akron, along with the 19-year-old suspect. The injuries weren’t serious.

Police say Cyrus Matthews, of Cleveland, had just been sentenced to 60 days in jail when he looked around the courtroom and quickly walked out Wednesday.

Matthews wasn’t handcuffed and there were no police in courtroom.

A bailiff gave chase and the judge yelled for Matthews to come back.

Police say he then jumped into a car outside the court and took off.

Court records don’t say whether Matthews has an attorney.

https://apnews.com/9e605bd222e04b5e8a641ae36ddccad7
 
Would-be robber is a real chicken nugget after getting stuck in takeaway window for FIVE hours
The hapless man tried to enter a fast food shop by crawling through an empty extractor fan hole when he became trapped.

  • NEWS
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    The man was forced to call for help after getting stuck (Image: Universal News)
    • 8SHARES

    A suspected burglar was going nowhere after he got himself stuck in a takeaway extractor fan hole for FIVE hours.

    The hapless man tried to gain entry into DFC Chicken, on Rookery Road, in Handsworth, Birmingham, by crawling through an empty extractor fan hole, at 2am.

    Far from making a quick getaway, the man found himself stuck and calling out for help.

    A member of the public spotted his legs dangling in the air and called the police

  • etc

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/would-robber-real-chicken-nugget-11458719
 
My response to every one of these accounts - and I do read them all - is to mutter 'fucking dickhead'.
 
No bond for man who shot himself in penis while robbing hot dog stand

A 19-year-old man who shot himself in the penis after allegedly holding up a South Side hotdog stand Tuesday won’t be going home when he’s released from the hospital.

Terrion Pouncy remained at Christ Hospital recovering from his injuries on Thursday, missing a bond hearing at the Leighton Criminal Courthouse on two counts of armed robbery.

Pouncy was arrested at the Oak Lawn hospital not long after he was found slumped on the steps of a home across the street from a West Pullman restaurant that Chicago Police say he robbed at gunpoint about 6 a.m. on Halloween.

Judge Stephanie Miller ordered him held without bond.

Pouncy was unable to run further because of the pain of a self-inflicted gunshot wound suffered when tried to adjust the .38-caliber pistol in his waistband as he ran off after robbing Maxwell Street Express at 116th and Halsted, Assistant Cook County State’s Attorney Erin Antonietti said in court.

Pouncy had pulled out the gun and demanded cash from two employees, pressing the gun to the head of a 39-year-old worker, Antonietti said.

The victim, who had been passing a bucket filled with grease over the counter, called for his co-worker to hand over the cash from the register. As they passed their wallets and a stack of singles to Pouncy, the bucket tipped and bills went flying, Antonietti said.

Still pointing the gun at the workers, Pouncy stooped over to collect the cash, Antonietti said. Shifting the gun in his waistband as he ran out, he apparently pulled the trigger, firing a bullet that struck him in the penis, Antonietti said.

One of the restaurant employees, 39, then began wrestling with Pouncy as he tried to run away, before he staggered out into the street.

Source: https://chicago.suntimes.com/news/man-who-shot-himself-in-penis-charged-with-west-pullman-robbery/
 
A man died when paramedics refused to treat him without police back-up, an inquest has heard.

Darren James Powney, 37, had a history of aggression towards 999 workers so when an ambulance was called, they [waited] for police. There were warning markers on his record including an incident involving claw hammers that he kept in his van. He called for help when he believed he was suffering a heart attack.

It was an hour after they arrived at his house in Houghton Le Spring, Tyne and Wear, before they [entered] and found him in a chair in his living room.

Mr Powney, who worked as a delivery driver, was pronounced dead at 8.50am, with a post-mortem examination later revealing he had suffered a pulmonary embolism – the sudden blockage of a major blood vessel in the lung.

In [his last call to the emergency services] Mr Powney can be heard saying he thought he was ‘having a heart attack’, before adding ‘I can’t breathe’. His last plea to the call handler was ‘hurry up please’.

http://metro.co.uk/2017/11/08/man-w...when-paramedics-refused-to-treat-him-7062275/

:points:

maximus otter
 
Serves him right. I can't understand these people who attack hospital workers and paramedics.

Edit: I see they sent PC Graham Norton. Not sure that sending Graham Norton to sort it out was advisable.
 
Some real criminal masterminds at work here.

Thieves use gold crucifix to break into church safe
Emma RobinsonReporter
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Thieves use gold crucifix to break into church safe


7 comments

Thieves broke into a church and used a priceless gold crucifix to break into a safe...to steal just £30 in cash.

Dan Pierce, 39, a team vicar for the Billericay Team Ministry, was saddened and shocked when he received the news of the break-in at St Mary Magdalen Church, High Street.

He said: “The cleaner came in and found there was a broken window and the vestry had been completely turned over. We think there were three guys who did it.

“They pulled up outside in a car, but they did not spot the CCTV cameras when they went in.

“They used the cross to try and prize the safe from the wall, in doing so, they broke and bent the crucifix.
etc

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/15680913.Thieves_use_gold_crucifix_to_break_into_church_safe/
 
Serves him right. I can't understand these people who attack hospital workers and paramedics.
It's because they are seen as symbols of authority to the type of person who thinks all authority is an infringement of their personal liberty (only when it suits them, when they're the victim, they complain the loudest to the same authorities). It might be a 'uniform thing'.
 
Serves him right. I can't understand these people who attack hospital workers and paramedics.

Edit: I see they sent PC Graham Norton. Not sure that sending Graham Norton to sort it out was advisable.

My cousin works as a paramedic and had to deal with a junkie who had overdosed. He was given medication to counteract the drug and eventually he came round - only to have a go at the medical staff because "I spent good money on that stuff and you ***** ruined it!"
 
My cousin works as a paramedic and had to deal with a junkie who had overdosed. He was given medication to counteract the drug and eventually he came round - only to have a go at the medical staff because "I spent good money on that stuff and you ***** ruined it!"

I've heard of that happening at festivals. There's a special tent put aside for people to recover in and they're usually most ungrateful when they come to. Silly arses.
 
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