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The World's Dumbest Criminals

I'm surprised there hasn't been medical intervention regarding just this possibility (or rather likelihood at this stage).

I'm wondering if he's trying some sort of scam - if there is medical intervention, he sues the authorities for violating his human rights. If there is no intervention and he suffers medical problems, he sues the authorities because they didn't intervene.
 
I'm surprised he hasn't been slipped something by now to encourage matters. Don't they still have porridge in prison these days? That'd do the job.
 
He's full a shit

I would think that, so long as they keep asking him if he is ok, and if wants a doctor and it is recorded then he cant sue
 
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Play a 'brown note' recording. That will do it!
 
Always plan the getaway first ...

Suspects on the run scale fence, land in police lot, custody
Two shoplifting suspects running from police scaled a fence to get away from officers and landed in a secure parking lot of a police station — and in custody.

Officials tell KTAR-FM ... that officers were called to a gas station for possible shoplifting at 6 p.m. Friday. Authorities say as officers arrived, the suspects ... took off running.

The pair ran along the side of a building and jumped a fence, despite a sign for “Peoria Police” above the door. ...

SOURCE: https://apnews.com/9e01d083d37b466d...-run-scale-fence,-land-in-police-lot,-custody
 
... And if you don't attempt a getaway, at least remove any blatantly obvious evidence linking you to the crime ...

Man with red sauce on face charged with meatball theft
Police say a damning clue led to the arrest of a Pennsylvania man charged with stealing a pot of meatballs — red sauce smeared on his face and clothes.

Authorities in Luzerne County have charged 48-year-old Leahman Glenn Robert Potter with burglary, criminal trespass and theft by unlawful taking for allegedly swiping a pot of meatballs from a man’s garage on Monday.

Police say the victim reported his meatballs missing and told officers at around 2:30 p.m. Monday that he saw Potter standing in front of his house with red sauce on his face and clothes. The pot was found on the street. ...

SOURCE: https://apnews.com/feeb7a17db0343a7...red-sauce-on-face-charged-with-meatball-theft

 
I have just lost all respect for the Republic of Ireland:

Lidl supermarket destroyed 'by looters' after snow storm.

Police in Dublin said on Friday they had made several arrests after an attack on a supermarket hours after the city was hit with its worst snowstorm in decades.

The Lidl supermarket had been looted, according to several Irish media outlets, but police and the owner of the supermarket declined to provide details of the incident.

State broadcaster RTE showed video footage from social media of a mechanical digger pulling down part of a wall of the supermarket.

Another video, posted online by the Irish Independent newspaper, showed people walking away from the back of the store with what appeared to be items from the store
.”

Leaving aside questions of law and morality, you had the means and opportunity to loot an entire store and you chose Lidl?

maximus otter


 
I have just lost all respect for the Republic of Ireland:

Lidl supermarket destroyed 'by looters' after snow storm.

Police in Dublin said on Friday they had made several arrests after an attack on a supermarket hours after the city was hit with its worst snowstorm in decades.

The Lidl supermarket had been looted, according to several Irish media outlets, but police and the owner of the supermarket declined to provide details of the incident.

State broadcaster RTE showed video footage from social media of a mechanical digger pulling down part of a wall of the supermarket.

Another video, posted online by the Irish Independent newspaper, showed people walking away from the back of the store with what appeared to be items from the store.”

Leaving aside questions of law and morality, you had the means and opportunity to loot an entire store and you chose Lidl?

maximus otter


Local small time crooks with low cunning stole a JCB and broke into thr LID, they were after the safe. They then hung around trying unsuccessfully to open said safe and were arrested. It looks as if some others took advantage of the situation to grab some more accessible goodies.

It was overhyped with even pics and a vid of another LIDL store from 2016 actually onfire!
 
The 'poo watch' man has been taken to hospital after 47 days of no-go

He has been released on bail and was taken by police car, in company with a medical professional, to hospital for treatment.

Deputy Chief Constable Ben-Julian Harrington took the decision to release Chambers from custody.

"On the basis of all the medical evidence in this case it is most appropriate, both in the interests of Mr Chambers and of justice, to ensure he receives the hospital treatment he needs," he said.

The report says

The Crown Prosecution Service discontinued charges of intent to supply a Class A drug and driving matters, but Chambers was rearrested by Essex Police on suspicion of being concerned in the supply of a Class A drug.

I'm assuming this charge still applies after the hospital visit. Someone will be along soon to tell us whether 47 days is a record.
 
That sounds very risky. I hope they didn't have to go over many bumps. :sstorm:

Also, a strange set of photos. Almost everything pixillated out apart from the police car. What was the point?
 
I guess it'll only be a world record if he survives.
 
I guess it'll only be a world record if he survives.

Nope - it won't be a world record ...

"The world record for constipation was held by a man who resisted the temptation of the toilet for 368 days. He was said to become weak after delivering 36 litres of faeces on June 21, 1901, but there was much rejoicing in the family."

Gastrointestinal Function in Diabetes Mellitus
edited by Michael Horowitz, Melvin Samsom, Wiley, 2004, p. 230.

Here's a citation and link to the medical article describing this incident ...

Unprecedented Case of Constipation
D. Geib and J. D. Jones

Journal of the American Medical Association, Vol. 38, Issues 19 - 26, p. 1305

https://books.google.com/books?id=X...Q6AEIKzAB#v=onepage&q=geib jones 1902&f=false
 
:eek: Over a year... holy brown stuff, Batman!
 
:eek: Over a year... holy brown stuff, Batman!

:dpoo::dpoo::dpoo::dpoo::dpoo::dpoo::dpoo::dpoo::dpoo::dpoo::dpoo::dpoo::dpoo::dpoo: :omg: :willy:

If you check out the JAMA article I linked earlier you can see a photo of the patient's distended colon. :gobs:
 
Surely the thing about pooing is that it's an automatic bodily function. When you gotta go you gotta go.

I could no more choose to go 47 days let alone a year without a crap any more than I could go 5 minutes without breathing. It must point to a problem which is stopping you.

I like this quote from Enola's link

He was said to become weak after delivering 36 litres of faeces on June 21, 1901, but there was much rejoicing in the family."

36 Litres?!! That's nearly 8 gallons - definitely cause for much rejoicing.
 
I liked that quoted bit, too ... He was lucky to come through it merely weakened, rather than (e.g.) turned inside-out and totally deflated ... :evillaugh:

I ran across mention of a 22-year-old Chinese man who had a lifelong constipation problem alleviated only after passing or removing an even larger amount of accumulated residue.

However, my understanding was that this case involved (shall we say ... ) a persistent bottleneck rather than a complete blockage situation (i.e., some portion had been getting through and out all along).

As a result, the 1901 / 1902 case seems to remain the record for total blockage.
 
Surely the thing about pooing is that it's an automatic bodily function. When you gotta go you gotta go.

I could no more choose to go 47 days let alone a year without a crap any more than I could go 5 minutes without breathing. It must point to a problem which is stopping you.
Diabetes mellitus. Neuropathy caused the muscles in his colon to stop working.
 
Job Search Tip: If there's an outstanding criminal charge against you, eliminate any law enforcement related jobs from your search ...

Jail job applicant not hired, arrested instead in theft case
A woman applying for a job at a New Hampshire county jail has been arrested because it turns out she was wanted on a charge in Maine.

Police say Kristina Hoefs, of Manchester, applied for the job on Friday at the Hillsborough County Department of Corrections. But workers soon realized she was being sought on a theft-related offense in Maine.

Hoefs was taken into custody and taken to police headquarters. She was scheduled for arraignment Monday. ...

SOURCE: https://apnews.com/2e0c0cc935804d88...ant-not-hired,-arrested-instead-in-theft-case
 
Dashboard cams provide a record of the accident you just had. It had never occurred to me that they might also provide a record of what crime(s) you'd committed prior to that accident. :doh: :roll:

Florida man’s own dashboard camera lands him in jail
A Florida man ended up in jail after his dashboard camera showed police more than he intended.

The Palm Beach Post reports that after 25-year-old Xavier Moran was involved in a crash on April 5, he told a sheriff’s deputy he had been cut off by another driver and could prove it with his dashboard camera. He then signed a consent waiver to search the camera.

When the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s deputy reviewed the footage, he saw Moran burglarizing a beauty store. Authorities say the video showed Moran taking a baseball bat from the trunk and someone using the bat to break the glass door to the store. ...

SOURCE: https://apnews.com/be3526facc4e4ac2...-man's-own-dashboard-camera-lands-him-in-jail


 
It was a toss-up between 'Dumbest Criminals' and 'Strange Crimes', but IMHO the taint of stupidity wins in this case ...

Also, I'm not sure I've ever known of a jurisdiction in which a category of theft 'by unauthorized taking' was formally recognized.

Maine police bust men dragging stolen shed down road
Authorities in Maine said three men were arrested after being caught in the act of using a pickup truck to drag a stolen 25-foot shed down a road.

Maine State Police said troopers responded Sunday to a report of a pickup truck being used to drag the large shed, which was not on any kind of trailer ...

Troopers arrived to find the shed still being dragged and blocking half the road.

Police arrested suspects ... after verifying that the shed had been stolen from a foreclosed property.

All three men were charged with theft by unauthorized taking, with further charges expected to be filed later, police said. The men were each held in lieu of $5,000 bail.

SOURCE: https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2018/0.../?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=7
 
I wasn't sure where to post this because we haven't got a dumb neo nazi thread

anazi.jpg


https://www.reddit.com/r/COMPLETEANARCHY/comments/8sp19v/nazi_uses_tinder_to_get_fucked/
 
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