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Don't Stick Ice Lollies Up Your Fanny

Sounds like the makings of a bawdy music-hall ditty.

As I went up to London Town
I met an expert with a frown
I asked him, Expert, why so unhappy?
He said, the strange things done to fannies

Ooooh, don't stick ice lollies up your passage, Mrs. Brown,
Even though the weather's unbearable
The risk of infection
from that icy confection
will make your bloomers unwearable
 
Experts warn against sticking ice lollies up your fanny in heat wave.

https://metro.co.uk/2019/07/24/plea...-8fMUmuRczzyfxWzqRW_XMOeyTohURRuzC8uVcQJTeWJo

good to know. besides how would you choose?
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shocking waste of ice cream if you ask me. lol
 
Juest guessing here... they melt, and leave a sweet sugary residue, which in a warm clammy place would be like going to Heaven for things like unwelcome yeast cells to set up home?
 
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