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McDonalds Ice-Cream Machines

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
Joined
Sep 15, 2013
Messages
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Not exactly a world changer but ..

To skip to the end, the company that have the sole licence to provide McDonalds with their ice cream making machines allegedly deliberately make them crap to use on purpose so they can 'cream' money off of franchise owners by charging to send off technicians 'in their back pocket' to fix them .. hence why their machines are famously always 'broken' .. allegedly ..

 
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It was always the milk shake machines here. I spent four years desperate for a McD milk shake (one of the really thick, polyfilla type. Had an actual CRAVING) but every single place I went in, the machine was 'broken'. Eventually got one in Torquay - Victoria state, Australia.

I'd gone off the idea a bit by then. But it was still nice.
 
While I don't doubt there are companies which do that, McDonald's seems a big company to mess with like that. A lot to lose if they decide to change their contract.
 
Actually, looking at it, I suspect that the ice cream machines are somewhat like the Costa machine that we've had installed instore. Ridiculous number of parts to go wrong, an ineffable number of strange hoppers and tubes and bits and bobs that need cleaning, refilling, unblocking, and general titivating. And there's probably only one or two workers that actually know how the thing works and can confidently open the door, clean, refill and unblock anything that needs doing.

And they are never on shift when the thing goes wrong.
 
Actually, looking at it, I suspect that the ice cream machines are somewhat like the Costa machine that we've had installed instore. Ridiculous number of parts to go wrong, an ineffable number of strange hoppers and tubes and bits and bobs that need cleaning, refilling, unblocking, and general titivating. And there's probably only one or two workers that actually know how the thing works and can confidently open the door, clean, refill and unblock anything that needs doing.

And they are never on shift when the thing goes wrong.
I haven't had a McDonald's burger for decades but every so often I have a craving for their ice cream - always a cone with a 99 - and the number of times that the machine is out of order does beggar the imagination.
 
I think it is a long time since most manufacturing industries gave a damn about reliability and/or product longevity for their customers. The old idea of stakeholders (customers, employees, shareholders) is long gone in favour of how much cash can the principals salt away before they are rumbled. Yes, I am cynical and disillusioned.
 
I worked at McDonalds for years as a teenager/early 20s. We used to tell people the machines were broken because making ice cream cones and milkshakes is messy and annoying when you've got dozens of customers waiting in line. But my abiding memory of those machines is the huge bladders of unidentifiable thick white stuff we had to fill them with. It probably had some distant ancestral relationship to milk...?
 
I worked at McDonalds for years as a teenager/early 20s. We used to tell people the machines were broken because making ice cream cones and milkshakes is messy and annoying when you've got dozens of customers waiting in line. But my abiding memory of those machines is the huge bladders of unidentifiable thick white stuff we had to fill them with. It probably had some distant ancestral relationship to milk...?

I occasionally wonder what a Mr Whippy is made of. But that might get us into politics (unless that's an urban myth?).
 
I have mild lactose intolerance and when I have a helping of ice cream I experience a little digestive discomfort (but that doesn't stop me.) I have never had a moment of any discomfort after a shake from McDonald's or Burger King. What does that tell you?
 
I have mild lactose intolerance and when I have a helping of ice cream I experience a little digestive discomfort (but that doesn't stop me.) I have never had a moment of any discomfort after a shake from McDonald's or Burger King. What does that tell you?
Soya?
 
I occasionally wonder what a Mr Whippy is made of. But that might get us into politics (unless that's an urban myth?).
When i worked for the company that supplied McDs the McFlurry mix came in 20 litre plastic bags from Arla dairies, along with the Shake mix and the milk, whenever one leaked (which was all the time), the spillage was always very sticky, i would imagine it is milk, thickeners, flavourings and a lot of suger its made from.
 
Not about the ice cream machines, but we also had these weird McDs sugar-coffee drink machines that had a similar bladder insertion. But the bladder was also equippied with what can only be described as a skinny phallic protrusion that, when the bladder was laid flat on a surface, would wave around in a thoroughly disturbing manner.
 
In Norway it's usually the milkshake machines, in both Burger King and McDonald's. I suppose it's because they're too lazy to keep them operational. If they fail all the time, why even bother.
 
Didn't they (yes, THEM) do a study that found fecal matter in a large proportion of ice cream vans? Hm. Closest I can find is this. https://www.researchgate.net/public...pular_Eateries_in_the_Las_Vegas_Nevada_Market
Maybe Mr. Whippy is blameless.
I'm not sure how fecal matter could end up in an ice cream van but me and my best mate when we were about 13 years old did once witness our local ice cream van man walk into our local newsagents then buy about 5 porno magazines. Fair play to him and everything but it did put us off buying ice creams off of him because of the whole did he didn't he wash his hands afterwards? factor.
 
I'm not sure how fecal matter could end up in an ice cream van but me and my best mate when we were about 13 years old did once witness our local ice cream van man walk into our local newsagents then buy about 5 porno magazines. Fair play to him and everything but it did put us off buying ice creams off of him because of the whole did he didn't he wash his hands afterwards? factor.

a) l would imagine that if you’re motivated enough, and look long enough and hard enough with sufficiently sensitive kit, you could find “faecal matter” anywhere.

b) You were the owner and operator of a thirteen-year-old boy’s right hand, and were worried about traces of baby gravy left on something handled by somebody else?

maximus otter
 
b) You were the owner and operator of a thirteen-year-old boy’s right hand, and were worried about traces of baby gravy left on something handled by somebody else?

maximus otter

Errm .. yes? .. I don't want to eat Poggo's jiz.
 
l take it that Poggo is no longer in business, being now too old to...”operate the machine”.

maximus otter
I think Gacy got the chair but don't quote me. He knew a lot about ice cream machines though.
 
I think Gacy got the chair but don't quote me. He knew a lot about ice cream machines though.

a) “Pogo”.

b) Lethal injection.

Gacy was the Cromer ice cream man? Who was your paediatrician - Harold Shipman?

:eek:

maximus otter
 
I'm not sure how fecal matter could end up in an ice cream van but me and my best mate when we were about 13 years old did once witness our local ice cream van man walk into our local newsagents then buy about 5 porno magazines. Fair play to him and everything but it did put us off buying ice creams off of him because of the whole did he didn't he wash his hands afterwards? factor.
Fair enough, I say. As for how fecal matter can end up in ice cream... Well, it's no mean feat, but if you can achieve it, it might be the perfect crime.
https://www.vice.com/en/article/kzm...no-one-knows-who-pooped-in-this-womans-gelato
 
Also... baby gravy. Am going to be using that one. It's up there with "crotch droppings", which is how I refer to my colleagues' sex fruit.
 
Also... baby gravy. Am going to be using that one. It's up there with "crotch droppings", which is how I refer to my colleagues' sex fruit.
Also see: "Population Paste."
 
I remember some years ago being told that...err...crotch gravy...had been found in takeaways from the local Indian restaurant.

When I queried a) why was it being tested and b) what for, because that's a surprisingly specific finding and c) is it even possible to identify said substance in a sample that has been cooked - the person who told me got quite angry. I actually suspect that he'd been fed it as an urban legend and my asking logical questions threw him for a loop.

Can anyone tell me whether it actually would be possible to isolate such a sample from a curry?
 
I think it is a long time since most manufacturing industries gave a damn about reliability and/or product longevity for their customers. The old idea of stakeholders (customers, employees, shareholders) is long gone in favour of how much cash can the principals salt away before they are rumbled. Yes, I am cynical and disillusioned.
There was a radio 4 programme about this last week, in particular about manufacturers supplying goods with a limited life, built in obsolescence, and difficulty in repairing/servicing. Apparently in France and other European countries such practices are illegal, and UK authorities are now in the process of looking into this issue.
 
Wait a minute... where do you wash your hands if you're an ice cream man (or woman)?
 
At the bathroom? I doubt they have toilets in the ice cream van itself.
 
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