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Bricks, Dung, Sharks & Unmade Beds: The World Of 'Modern Art'

Anyone fancy these two masterpieces from Damien Hirst? They are at my local auction house with a price guide of £1500-£2000 each.
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Picasso was a real artist.

I dont needfully like or agree with his work but he had genuine talent.
 
Picasso was a real artist.

I dont needfully like or agree with his work but he had genuine talent.
Well, he certainly had a huge ego if nothing else.
 
Not much different from Picasso's signed doodles.
As you'll know, people used to spot Picasso in a restaurant or cafe and ask him to doodle them something on a napkin. They knew he'd done it before, when he'd draw little portraits for the waiting staff. Wouldn't it be great to have one of those done!
 
As you'll know, people used to spot Picasso in a restaurant or cafe and ask him to doodle them something on a napkin. They knew he'd done it before, when he'd draw little portraits for the waiting staff. Wouldn't it be great to have one of those done!
I believe he also used to do doodles on the cheques he paid for meals with knowing that they would keep the doodle and not cash the cheque!
 
Finalists for 2020 Turnip Prize Announced

The award, organised by a Somerset pub, is given to the person who has "created something they perceive to be crap art using the least amount of effort possible".

Organiser Trevor Prideaux, of The New Inn in Wedmore, said 120 people had entered the competition, crossing the 100 mark for the second successive year.

"This year we have received a record number of entries. We have ordered a second skip," he said.

A couple of contenders:

Moving tribute to Bobby Ball

Rock on Tommy by the Very Reverend Canon Ball


Fur load

Turnip Prize entry, Jolly Roger
 
A lamp company is selling a lamp, which they describe as part lamp, part work of art.
I feel that it could win a Turnip Prize, it really says "We couldn't be arsed".
Even down to the way you mount it by just hammering a big nail through it. Yours for just 600 pounds.
 

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Not exactly a statue but..

A 33-metre reinforced concrete vagina has sparked a Bolsonarian backlash in Brazil, with supporters of the country’s far-right president clashing with leftwing art admirers over the installation.

The handmade sculpture, entitled Diva, was unveiled by visual artist Juliana Notari on Saturday at a rural art park on the grounds of a former sugar mill in Pernambuco, one of Brazil’s most culturally vibrant states.

In a Facebook post, Notari said the scarlet hillside vulva was intended to “question the relationship between nature and culture in our phallocentric and anthropocentric western society” and provoke debate over the “problematisation of gender”.


Artist Juliana Notari artwork entitled Diva
 
If mine looked like that I would be up the A&E...

(Looks like a hole in the ground...yes, I do know the difference...)
 
$69million for a JPEG:
News story

If you're the type of person who gets angry about that kind of thing, the artist is called Beeple, which may tip you over the edge.

It's nonsense of course but much fine art is overvalued, the super wealthy use it as a way of "parking" money as well as ways to inflate their egos.
 
Does this fit here? Uri Geller has been involved with the bridge in the past.

Mystery 'flood-line' telephone appears on Sonning Bridge​


Sonning Bridge phone
IMAGE COPYRIGHT WOKINGHAM BOROUGH COUNCIL. image caption It is not yet known who is behind the latest addition to the bridge

A telephone has mysteriously appeared on the side of a bridge in the middle of the River Thames.

The white wall-style phone with an "Emergency Flood Line" sign has been placed on a buttress on Sonning Bridge. Wokingham Borough Council posted on Facebook: "If you ever have flooding concerns call Floodline (no, not on that phone)". Artist, Impro, has been behind previous art installations on the bridge which include a postbox and a front door.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-berkshire-57292368
 
What's even less fungible than a non-fungible token? Somebody paid $18,000 for a sculpture that existed only in the artist's imagination.
Italian Artist Sells Invisible Sculpture For Real Money

Salvatore Garau has sold his latest invisible sculpture. The work, titled "I Am," doesn't exist except in the artist's imagination. The buyer gets a stamped certificate in exchange for $18,000.
SOURCE: https://www.npr.org/2021/06/01/1002018211/italian-artist-sells-invisible-sculpture-for-real-money

... According to as.com, the sculpture's initial price was set between 6,000 and 9,000 euros; however, the price was raised after several bids were placed.

Titled 'Io Sono' (Italian for "I am"), the 67-year-old artist's sculpture is "immaterial," meaning that the sculpture does not actually exist.

Though he's received much critique for the sale, Garau argues that his work of art isn't "nothing," but is instead a "vacuum."
https://www.newsweek.com/italian-artist-sells-invisible-sculpture-more-18000-1596608
 
What's even less fungible than a non-fungible token? Somebody paid $18,000 for a sculpture that existed only in the artist's imagination.

SOURCE: https://www.npr.org/2021/06/01/1002018211/italian-artist-sells-invisible-sculpture-for-real-money


https://www.newsweek.com/italian-artist-sells-invisible-sculpture-more-18000-1596608
When I joined my old company, the contract stipulated they would own any artwork produced while I was there. So they own two of my conceptual art pieces - ‘Rat Trap’ which is a man in a uniform just chucking rats onto a trap and ‘Shitbucket’ which is a galvanised pail so full of shit a fly landing on the meniscus would cause a little drop to spill over and run down the side.
 
There was an 'artist' over two decades ago who decided to 'create' a very very large glass tank to contained human sperm .. I'm honestly not making this up .. about 20 cubic metres from memory .. he asked for random blokes to send in their sperm for his project. I'm not sure how his experiment ended or if it did at all but it was all very weird and probably perverted. I'd prefer not to know about the outcome and his reasons to be honest.
 
Here's some quality spiel from the artist which rates highly on the guffometer:

“The successful outcome of the auction testifies to an irrefutable fact: the void is nothing but a space full of energy, and even if we empty it and nothing remains, according to Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle that nothingness has a weight,” Salvatore Garau said. “It therefore has energy that condenses and transforms itself into particles, in short, in us! When I decide to ‘exhibit’ an immaterial sculpture in a given space, that space will concentrate a certain quantity and density of thoughts in a precise point, creating a sculpture that from my title alone will take the most varied forms. After all, don’t we give shape to a God we have never seen?”

I'm wondering if it's all a load of bollocks, no-one has actually bought anything, but he's got his name in the papers. All of a sudden he's collectable. He got a mate to 'buy' it but no money changes hands..

On the other hand maybe some twat's bought it.
 
Here's some quality spiel from the artist which rates highly on the guffometer:

“The successful outcome of the auction testifies to an irrefutable fact: the void is nothing but a space full of energy, and even if we empty it and nothing remains, according to Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle that nothingness has a weight,” Salvatore Garau said. “It therefore has energy that condenses and transforms itself into particles, in short, in us! When I decide to ‘exhibit’ an immaterial sculpture in a given space, that space will concentrate a certain quantity and density of thoughts in a precise point, creating a sculpture that from my title alone will take the most varied forms. After all, don’t we give shape to a God we have never seen?”

I'm wondering if it's all a load of bollocks, no-one has actually bought anything, but he's got his name in the papers. All of a sudden he's collectable. He got a mate to 'buy' it but no money changes hands..

On the other hand maybe some twat's bought it.
Tracy Emmin's going to get jealous .. she used to corner the market on pretentious none art.
 
I'd prefer not to know the outcome

High on his own supply?

Reminds me of the old*, emetic joke about a spittoon. Bloke lost a bet and had to take a sip from the spittoon.

He swallowed the lot, because it all came out in one lump! :puke2:

*It's a sign how whiskery this joke is that spittoon needs a footnote. It also needs the spell-checker, as I wrote it as "spitoon" originally.
 
There was an 'artist' over two decades ago who decided to 'create' a very very large glass tank to contained human sperm .. I'm honestly not making this up .. about 20 cubic metres from memory .. he asked for random blokes to send in their sperm for his project. I'm not sure how his experiment ended or if it did at all but it was all very weird and probably perverted. I'd prefer not to know about the outcome and his reasons to be honest.
Sort of 'wank in the tank'. Nowadays you could film all the participants contributing & sell the movie as a NFT for a considerable sum.
 
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