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People Who Feel Wrong

Back in the mid 1990s a girlfriend I had at the time told me a story about an experience had by her mother. She was sitting alone whilst using a laundrette in the mid 1970s when a man came in who she found really frightening. I don’t recall being told he said or did anything in particular that caused this reaction. I seem to remember that he might have just asked for directions and then left.

Within a few days she saw on the television news the same man had been arrested. This man was apparently the armed robber, multiple murderer and kidnapper Donald Neilson.

Many years later I was told another tale by an Australian colleague which really was a ‘people who should’ve felt wrong but didn’t’ type scenario.

She told me she was driving her first car when it broke down some distance from Perth. This was early to mid 1980s. Whilst stranded a couple passing by stopped and offered to help. The man managed to re start the car after some minutes whilst my colleague talked to his wife. She thanked them and went on her way. She later recognised the couple as serial killers David and Catherine Birnie when months later they were arrested for the murders of several young women.
Some years ago I was driving to a lecture at Teacher's college during the holidays as it was for extra qualifications.
My car broke down and as I didn't have a mobile at that time had to call the RACV from a phone box.
They were taking quite awhile and this man came up and offered to help me to get the car started.
I got a really creepy vibe from him, thanked him and said the RACV was coming.
Eventually they did arrive after ringing them again but a few weeks later the same man was on the news having kidnapped some woman whose car had broken down.
Both narrow escapes there. Women in broken down cars are particularly vulnerable, but thankfully these incidents seem to be rare.

A good few years ago stuck in a traffic jam in the pouring rain, I drew level with two women who were trying to take off a wheel which had developed a flat. They were getting soaked so I pulled over and asked if they needed help, ( I had a boot full of tools). I got shouted at and told to eff off! So I did. Coming back in the other direction some 2 or 3 hours later they were still there presumably awaiting recovery. I guess safety was important to them than long delay in their journey.
 
Years ago myself and MrsF were walking up the canal one afternoon. MrsF informed me that in the distance someone was swimming down the centre of the canal. I couldn't make anything out at first but as we got closer I saw him. At a certain point there were some reeds growing at the side of the canal and he disappeared into them. I admit that I was getting a bit worried at the point, but we kept walking. After we passed where he had been hiding he got out and (luckily) walked off in the opposite direction. A big ape of a guy. If he'd been in t-shirt and shorts it would have been strange enough, but he was wearing a proper dress shirt, trousers and leather shoes.
He really creeped me out.

MrsF said she knew of him and that he lived with his mother.
A short while later he bludgeoned his mother to death with a hammer.
 
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Both narrow escapes there. Women in broken down cars are particularly vulnerable, but thankfully these incidents seem to be rare.

A good few years ago stuck in a traffic jam in the pouring rain, I drew level with two women who were trying to take off a wheel which had developed a flat. They were getting soaked so I pulled over and asked if they needed help, ( I had a boot full of tools). I got shouted at and told to eff off! So I did. Coming back in the other direction some 2 or 3 hours later they were still there presumably awaiting recovery. I guess safety was important to them than long delay in their journey.

It saddens me that we have to think that way. We should feel safe, but the reality is we have to treat men as though they were some sort of wild animal because it's just not worth the risk.
 
Both narrow escapes there. Women in broken down cars are particularly vulnerable, but thankfully these incidents seem to be rare.

A good few years ago stuck in a traffic jam in the pouring rain, I drew level with two women who were trying to take off a wheel which had developed a flat. They were getting soaked so I pulled over and asked if they needed help, ( I had a boot full of tools). I got shouted at and told to eff off! So I did. Coming back in the other direction some 2 or 3 hours later they were still there presumably awaiting recovery. I guess safety was important to them than long delay in their journey.

There was a teacher at our school who told us that to prove a point about men, two female friends of hers pretended to have their car broken down and stalled by the side of the road. Sure enough, men would stop and offer help. The teacher believed this proved men were ridiculous know-it-alls for some reason. I thought, what a waste of time (but didn't say it - she really didn't like me).
 
There was a teacher at our school who told us that to prove a point about men, two female friends of hers pretended to have their car broken down and stalled by the side of the road. Sure enough, men would stop and offer help. The teacher believed this proved men were ridiculous know-it-alls for some reason. I thought, what a waste of time (but didn't say it - she really didn't like me).
All it proved is that many men are decent chaps who would really like to help.
Some of them may be 'know-it-alls', but not all of them.
 
All it proved is that many men are decent chaps who would really like to help.
Some of them may be 'know-it-alls', but not all of them.
I was once on a building site (at a farm we were working on) many years ago and the daughter of the guy we were working for walked past and sliped on some mud. I grabbed her just in time to stop her hitting the deck and asked her if she was ok. She replied ''Im not a weak feabled woman you know''. I never said you were, thought I. Can't win.
 
I was once on a building site (at a farm we were working on) many years ago and the daughter of the guy we were working for walked past and sliped on some mud. I grabbed her just in time to stop her hitting the deck and asked her if she was ok. She replied ''Im not a weak feabled woman you know''. I never said you were, thought I. Can't win.
Good call. No good deed goes unpunished, as the saying goes.
 
In my defense as a woman, I was 16 years old and on a transit bus in Toronto. The bus was so crowded that there was no room to even hold on to a post or railing. I had to balance myself each time the bus used the brakes as I stood in the middle of the isle surrounded by people. For some reason, the driver went from a full stop to high acceleration. I couldn't see why he did that nor was I prepared for it and so I knew I was going down. All I remember thinking is, "This is going to hurt." and then suddenly, I felt a pair of hands go around my waist. Whoever this person was, they took the entire weight of my body being thrown backwards at them and held me in place. I could feel the strength in those hands, it was powerful. When the bus finally stabilized and the hands let go of me, I turned with a big smile on my face, fully expecting to see a man anywhere from 18-60 years old. To my surprise, there stood a hunched over man who had to be at least, I mean minimum age 85. I should have won an Oscar that day because without skipping a beat or changing the expression on my face from big smile to shocked and surprised, I thanked him profusely and called him my hero because I was positive that I would have been seriously injured had he not caught me.

Fast forward to me at age 34. It was around 8pm and there was someone frantically knocking at my door yelling for help. When I opened the door, it was the eight year old little girl who lived across the street. She said her mommy and George (the boyfriend) were beating each other up. I brought her in set her up on the couch with potato chips, juice and the TV remote. By then she had calmed down quite a bit so, I said I was going to go over to her house and not to open my door for anyone because I was going to lock it and I had the key to get back in.

When I got over there they were wrestling. I yelled out loud, "Enough!" they both looked at me and separated. He went into the kitchen and she stayed with me in the living room. After I checked her over and she was calmer, I went in the kitchen to do the same with George. As I was talking to him, she walked into the kitchen, picked up a big glass jar full of pasta and threw it at his head and then took off running. It missed him but he leaped forward to go after her, but I stood in front of him. He was about the same size and weight as me, but try as I might, I could not budge him an inch. I was trying to maneuver him backwards into the chair but he was planted. I was really lucky that he didn't plough right through me and go after her because he was so strong that I would not have been able to stop him.

In short, testosterone goes a long way. You don't have to be a big guy like Arnie or Dwayne Johnson to overpower a woman. It is safer for a woman to avoid letting a strange man get too close.
 
In short, testosterone goes a long way. You don't have to be a big guy like Arnie or Dwayne Johnson to overpower a woman. It is safer for a woman to avoid letting a strange man get too close.

True enough. My Mum was she was about 16 had a bit of trouble with a stable lad who’d walked her home from the village community centre dance. Height-wise, he was about her own of 5 feet 4, so pretty small, but she could not struggle free from him. One of her brothers came out of the house and the lad let her go and took off.
 
It is safer for a woman to avoid letting a strange man get too close.
Yes, I am not trying to excuse rudeness but it is a bit ridiculous that rude behaviour from women towards men is being compared to women trying to avoid being raped and/or murdered by men. If that is all you guys have to complain about, you should count yourselves very lucky. Just saying.:nods:
 
Don’t they say (well not me, but it’s a saying) Men fear women will laugh at them. Women fear men will kill them.
99.9% of the men I’ve ever been friendly with (or dated) have been absolutely fine. No problem. The ones that I had to have some contact with in work or social situations and were not (by reputation or ‘feeling’) I tended to act very distantly toward.
 
I was once on a building site (at a farm we were working on) many years ago and the daughter of the guy we were working for walked past and sliped on some mud. I grabbed her just in time to stop her hitting the deck and asked her if she was ok. She replied ''Im not a weak feabled woman you know''. I never said you were, thought I. Can't win.

That's farmers daughters for ye!
 

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I was fetching the boards in at work the other night and a customer stopped to tell me that I ought to get one of the 'men' to do it for me. The customer telling me (a man) is about four inches shorter than me and probably less than a stone heavier. The boards have wheels and are easy to manipulate, and I run 30 miles a week. I'm probably four times fitter than he is...

When I came in and told the guys working with me that I'd been told to tell them to fetch the boards in for me, their laughter was manifold...
 
All it proved is that many men are decent chaps who would really like to help.
Some of them may be 'know-it-alls', but not all of them.

I suspect she might have made it up, to be honest. She was a very angry person, and besides, you don't need to pull an elaborate stunt like that to find a man who's a ridiculous know-it-all, if the internet has taught us anything, it's that they're pretty common.
 
I suspect she might have made it up, to be honest. She was a very angry person, and besides, you don't need to pull an elaborate stunt like that to find a man who's a ridiculous know-it-all, if the internet has taught us anything, it's that they're pretty common.
It is true that you don't have to look too hard to find a know-it-all type.
 
Yes, I am not trying to excuse rudeness but it is a bit ridiculous that rude behaviour from women towards men is being compared to women trying to avoid being raped and/or murdered by men. If that is all you guys have to complain about, you should count yourselves very lucky. Just saying.:nods:
Don't think anyone is complaining Min, just making observations of experiences and how society has developed, but I get what you're saying.

Funnily enough I had problems with my daily driver last year and it ground to a halt on a busy road. Phoned Ms P to gizza tow and, whilst waiting, a car pulled up behind me and a rather large woman got out . She was obviously a traveller - I recognized the accent immediately ( I know several travellers) she asked if I needed help. No thanks said I , but she was persistent. Suspecting the "my man will give you a tow that'll be £X" type I tried the ignition again and it burst into life, so I thanked her and drove off. It's not always women who are vulnerable, but thankfully I can usually handle myself.
 
Don't think anyone is complaining Min, just making observations of experiences and how society has developed, but I get what you're saying.

Funnily enough I had problems with my daily driver last year and it ground to a halt on a busy road. Phoned Ms P to gizza tow and, whilst waiting, a car pulled up behind me and a rather large woman got out . She was obviously a traveller - I recognized the accent immediately ( I know several travellers) she asked if I needed help. No thanks said I , but she was persistent. Suspecting the "my man will give you a tow that'll be £X" type I tried the ignition again and it burst into life, so I thanked her and drove off. It's not always women who are vulnerable, but thankfully I can usually handle myself.

I've been in a few scary situations in my lifetime. Luckily, I came out unharmed each time. I think I have some type of guardian watching over me.
 
Re: the general discussion on safety and helping strangers, it is not at all unreasonable for women to be wary, even extremely so, of men they don't know. I think and certainly hope that the vast majority of men who stop to help a woman or women in a situation are doing so purely out of concern. Some might be know it alls, but some might be helpful know it alls. A very small numbers will be predatory or malign but one or two of the above stories prove that even the monstrous can do good deeds.

I don't drive but if I saw a woman on her own trying to change a car tyre or even two women, I'd likely offer to help. Perhaps this is sexist to some degree, I hope not, I'd explain I didn't have any real experience but could be instructed. If they wanted my help fine, if not, also fine.

I think a valid point re: @michael59 's point, men are generally a lot physiscally stronger than women, it's not just testosterone. We are bigger, heavier and have greater bone and muscle density. This means we might be helpful in a situation that requires but also increases they potential threat we pose.
 
Thirty odd years ago when I was at work we were approached by a firm who sold remainder books to see whether the library was interested in purchasing them. (Yes there was a lot of good stuff we could use extra copies of etc.)

The lady, let’s call her Carol as it wasn’t her name, who ran the firm offered to bring a few boxes over for us to see. At the time we were based in a basement so she had brought six boxes to the top of the stairs. Our porter, let’s call him Jim as that wasn’t his name either was there a large chap, ex army, he immediately volunteered to bring them downstairs.

Carol about five foot three and quite petite said; “Oh let’s take two each.” And promptly picked two up and took them downstairs. I picked two up and followed thinking that she’d certainly known which two to pick as mine were uncomfortably heavy. At the time I was moving boxes of books quite a lot and believe me these were heavy.

Jim followed and offered to unpack the boxes while I got some coffee. I saw him frowning and lifting each of the boxes before unpacking them.

After the meeting and Carol had left Jim came up to me and before I could say that I had picked the wrong boxes to lift he said. “All those boxes weighed about the same you know. There aren’t many times that I’ve picked up something that I’ve seen some bloke shift and think it was heavy; but those boxes nearly pulled my arms out their sockets. There’s nothing of her and she shifted them like they were full of feathers.”

If Jim hadn’t said anything I probably would have forgotten the whole thing, thinking that I was just having a feeble day but because he did it stuck in my mind.

Just shows that you can’t always judge strength on appearances.
 
Thirty odd years ago when I was at work we were approached by a firm who sold remainder books to see whether the library was interested in purchasing them. (Yes there was a lot of good stuff we could use extra copies of etc.)

The lady, let’s call her Carol as it wasn’t her name, who ran the firm offered to bring a few boxes over for us to see. At the time we were based in a basement so she had brought six boxes to the top of the stairs. Our porter, let’s call him Jim as that wasn’t his name either was there a large chap, ex army, he immediately volunteered to bring them downstairs.

Carol about five foot three and quite petite said; “Oh let’s take two each.” And promptly picked two up and took them downstairs. I picked two up and followed thinking that she’d certainly known which two to pick as mine were uncomfortably heavy. At the time I was moving boxes of books quite a lot and believe me these were heavy.

Jim followed and offered to unpack the boxes while I got some coffee. I saw him frowning and lifting each of the boxes before unpacking them.

After the meeting and Carol had left Jim came up to me and before I could say that I had picked the wrong boxes to lift he said. “All those boxes weighed about the same you know. There aren’t many times that I’ve picked up something that I’ve seen some bloke shift and think it was heavy; but those boxes nearly pulled my arms out their sockets. There’s nothing of her and she shifted them like they were full of feathers.”

If Jim hadn’t said anything I probably would have forgotten the whole thing, thinking that I was just having a feeble day but because he did it stuck in my mind.

Just shows that you can’t always judge strength on appearances.
She'd probably shifted so many boxes like those, maybe that meant she'd probably built up some real muscle?

Or...

I'm not saying she's an alien... but she's an alien!
 
I don't drive but if I saw a woman on her own trying to change a car tyre or even two women, I'd likely offer to help. Perhaps this is sexist to some degree, I hope not, I'd explain I didn't have any real experience but could be instructed. If they wanted my help fine, if not, also fine.
On a ride last year we stopped to offer help to two young women. They were trying to replace a stubborn tyre.

I said, 'What you need is a man's touch! :wink2:' and we all laughed as Techy popped the tyre back on in about a second.

That's what I keep him for. :cool:
 
Thirty odd years ago when I was at work we were approached by a firm who sold remainder books to see whether the library was interested in purchasing them. (Yes there was a lot of good stuff we could use extra copies of etc.)

The lady, let’s call her Carol as it wasn’t her name, who ran the firm offered to bring a few boxes over for us to see. At the time we were based in a basement so she had brought six boxes to the top of the stairs. Our porter, let’s call him Jim as that wasn’t his name either was there a large chap, ex army, he immediately volunteered to bring them downstairs.

Carol about five foot three and quite petite said; “Oh let’s take two each.” And promptly picked two up and took them downstairs. I picked two up and followed thinking that she’d certainly known which two to pick as mine were uncomfortably heavy. At the time I was moving boxes of books quite a lot and believe me these were heavy.

Jim followed and offered to unpack the boxes while I got some coffee. I saw him frowning and lifting each of the boxes before unpacking them.

After the meeting and Carol had left Jim came up to me and before I could say that I had picked the wrong boxes to lift he said. “All those boxes weighed about the same you know. There aren’t many times that I’ve picked up something that I’ve seen some bloke shift and think it was heavy; but those boxes nearly pulled my arms out their sockets. There’s nothing of her and she shifted them like they were full of feathers.”

If Jim hadn’t said anything I probably would have forgotten the whole thing, thinking that I was just having a feeble day but because he did it stuck in my mind.

Just shows that you can’t always judge strength on appearances.
For sure!

At Euston Station one day I spotted a tiny elderly passenger pulling a smallish wheel case up the big ramp to the way out.
As she was moving quite slowly I naturally offered to take over and she said 'Oh, thank you!' right away and let go.

Grabbing the handle and starting off briskly up the slope, I had my arm yanked out of its socket. The case weighed a ton. What the actual?

I asked 'What's in'ere then, rocks?' and she replied 'Nearly! I am a sculptor and two of my works are in there!'

She laughed, and so did I, but through gritted teeth.
 
Perhaps this is sexist to some degree, I hope not,
Maybe some evolutionary imperative or something. As you say in general men are stronger than woman and I think really like to help if they can.

A few years ago my election board in the front garden had blown down in the wind and as I was trying to fix it an old man came along and offered to help. 'Yes please' said I thinking 'oh good at least there is another one of us in the neighbourhood'.

Foolish thought, as as soon at it was secured he said 'You surely don't support that bloody lot do you?'

He knew from the off who the board was for, so I gave him extra points for chivalry in that case, but no points for political intelligence!:hahazebs:
 
An old school friend of mine who was in the police used to do some bodyguarding of VIPS. Putin gave her the shivers: dead behind the eyes, she said.
That's interesting. I've been watching a lot of Russian stuff on youTube lately (trying to get into the Russian mind-set, for developing fictional characters, and to improve my comprehension of spoken Russian). I keep returning to videos of the big military march in Red Square, or Victory Square, Or Kremlin Square, or whatever they call it these days. (Think it's still Red Square, although I've heard the other two names used). Plus point; Putin chooses to review his troops from ground level, rather than up on a remote podium. Minus point: his facial expression does not change even once whilst reviewing the army and taking the salute as their C-i-C. Even in the old Soviet days, Brezhnev, Krushchev, Stalin, et c, all betrayed some emotion, some appreciation of what they were watching, some human pleasure. They could all crack a smile and now and again display something that passed for human warmth. Putin... doesn't. And his eyes remain sort of soul-less throughout.

 
On a ride last year we stopped to offer help to two young women. They were trying to replace a stubborn tyre.

I said, 'What you need is a man's touch! :wink2:' and we all laughed as Techy popped the tyre back on in about a second.

That's what I keep him for. :cool:

That's reminded me of a time when I was out walking in the countryside and a woman cycled by, then promptly fell off her bike. I rushed over to see if she was OK, and was told yes, fine as she couldn't ride away fast enough (I have that effect on women). But I don't know what I'd have done if she or the bike were damaged, I don't know first aid and I've never changed a tyre.
 
That's interesting. I've been watching a lot of Russian stuff on youTube lately (trying to get into the Russian mind-set, for developing fictional characters, and to improve my comprehension of spoken Russian). I keep returning to videos of the big military march in Red Square, or Victory Square, Or Kremlin Square, or whatever they call it these days. (Think it's still Red Square, although I've heard the other two names used). Plus point; Putin chooses to review his troops from ground level, rather than up on a remote podium. Minus point: his facial expression does not change even once whilst reviewing the army and taking the salute as their C-i-C. Even in the old Soviet days, Brezhnev, Krushchev, Stalin, et c, all betrayed some emotion, some appreciation of what they were watching, some human pleasure. They could all crack a smile and now and again display something that passed for human warmth. Putin... doesn't. And his eyes remain sort of soul-less throughout.

Putin is scary AF. I remember a few years ago when Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote our Eurovision entry and did a stunt where he travelled round Europe asking famous people to vote for our entry. One of the people was Putin. This was a short, humorous stunt with a full camera crew and probably entirely scripted and ALW looked TERRIFIED.
 
Putin is scary AF. I remember a few years ago when Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote our Eurovision entry and did a stunt where he travelled round Europe asking famous people to vote for our entry. One of the people was Putin. This was a short, humorous stunt with a full camera crew and probably entirely scripted and ALW looked TERRIFIED.
So I think we can agree, a former lieutenant colonel in the KGB is a scary man.
 
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