The last time I posted here I was running a campaign to try and protect ancient sites, to be honest I had no idea about most of the conversations here and was pretty distrustful of a lot of stuff that was said.
I then dropped off the map, a few things happened to me, My campaign ended with a planning decision, my wife left me and I chose suicide then inadvertently collapsed my ego. That's what I call it - in the process of deciding to kill self, I asked the question "What is self?" and with that I remembered that the self I was, was actually a bunch of learnt behaviours - I'd picked up the habit of copying others in order to present to the world the "Self" I thought they wanted to see, not my true self at all - Who or what my true self was I had no idea, it was long forgotten as for quite some time I'd assumed the self I displayed to the world was me. But it wasn't.
So that's how my bid for suicide turned into a search for self, I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this collapse of ego. It's also what I call the beginning for being "Born Again". Not in the religious sense but rather in the sense of having discarded all concepts of self with theopportunity to begin again.
I then dropped off the map, a few things happened to me, My campaign ended with a planning decision, my wife left me and I chose suicide then inadvertently collapsed my ego. That's what I call it - in the process of deciding to kill self, I asked the question "What is self?" and with that I remembered that the self I was, was actually a bunch of learnt behaviours - I'd picked up the habit of copying others in order to present to the world the "Self" I thought they wanted to see, not my true self at all - Who or what my true self was I had no idea, it was long forgotten as for quite some time I'd assumed the self I displayed to the world was me. But it wasn't.
So that's how my bid for suicide turned into a search for self, I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this collapse of ego. It's also what I call the beginning for being "Born Again". Not in the religious sense but rather in the sense of having discarded all concepts of self with theopportunity to begin again.