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The Candiru: Fish Alleged To Enter Humans Via Urethra

The Candiru fish swimming up a stream of urine legend is mentioned in the book, The SAS Survival Handbook. I only know that because my Dad used to own the book. As I remember it, the advice given to avoid that happening was to pee in something first and then pour that into the river.

I would just shake and sprinkle it about. No fish can leap between globules of flying piss.

It's this sort of problem-solving that makes Britain Great!
 
Wouldn't the easiest solution be to pee through a lightweight sieve with a mesh smaller than the fish for absolute peace of mind? It wouldn't add to the weight of the pack and could be rinsed in the river and stowed after use. I have just such a thing in my kitchen for straining sauces which I think would do the job admirably.
 
Wouldn't the easiest solution be to pee through a lightweight sieve with a mesh smaller than the fish for absolute peace of mind? It wouldn't add to the weight of the pack and could be rinsed in the river and stowed after use. I have just such a thing in my kitchen for straining sauces which I think would do the job admirably.

Brilliant idea Andy.

Here's the prototype I've started working on:

41P-pc3-LML.jpg


I'm calling it The Fishkfukoff. It will obviously come in different sizes and also different colors too, such as Camo. This silver color is for special occasions, weddings and such like.

I've added the handle just in case you're busy carrying stuff and need a mate to hold it, (We've all been there).

I'll post the Kickstarter link soon.
 
I first heard of the candiru and its alleged disquieting habit, in reading aged twelve or so, Exploration Fawcett -- the edited journals and memoirs of Colonel Percy Harrison Fawcett, telling of much intrepid exploration carried out by him in wildest and darkest South America, between circa 1900, and his mysterious disappearance in the mid-1920s, in search of a "lost city" from antiquity, which he believed was located in the Mato Grosso. I found the book utterly spellbinding -- full of assorted fascinatingly creepy and alarming stuff, in which candiru getting into guys' penises (reported by Fawcett -- though not at first-hand -- as a certain and established fact) ranked as about mid-range.

In more recent times, I've read a good deal to suggest that Fawcett was not totally right in the head, and / or made up a good deal of stuff in the interests of having good tales to tell; but he certainly wasn't the only one to believe and circulate the candiru thing.
 
Are there any reports of this fish swimming up animal's bits and pieces? You'd expect that to happen more often if they were really doing this.
 
Are there any reports of this fish swimming up animal's bits and pieces? You'd expect that to happen more often if they were really doing this.

No - at least not in anything I've ever read about them.

Zoological references consistently state the candiru feeds on the blood of other freshwater fishes, and none that I've seen mention attacks on any other animals (except for the purported attacks on humans).
 
Maybe it's part of the learning process for animals not to piss in a river, so they have an innate aversion to it... but animals piss just about anywhere, don't they?

We need to test this *goes off and grabs a handful of cats...*
 
Brilliant idea Andy.

Here's the prototype I've started working on:

41P-pc3-LML.jpg


I'm calling it The Fishkfukoff. It will obviously come in different sizes and also different colors too, such as Camo. This silver color is for special occasions, weddings and such like.

I've added the handle just in case you're busy carrying stuff and need a mate to hold it, (We've all been there).

I'll post the Kickstarter link soon.

:rollingw::rollingw: That's the kind of thing: simply pop in the old chap and let fly with confidence...
 
Cheers mate.

Edit: might be best to wait until the prototype LadyFishkfukoff is ready :)

Edit: And Bluetooth - it must have Bluetooth.
 
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I can’t help thinking that it’s just a rumour, spread by the citizens of countries “downstream” of Brazil, to help prevent their water supply from being contaminated by Brazilian piss.

maximus otter
 
If so who could blame them...but I think urine danger of hatching a conspiracy theory.
 
I suppose it could even be deployed in the conventional orientation with rather more difficulty, especially when travelling by boat. This would be the main scenario for the device's use - as you've hinted, any fool who micturates from the river bank almost deserves to get fish up them. It's just common sense.
 
Is that 'River Monsters'? I enjoyed that series and remember in particular the electric eels and colossal catfish but no the Candiru episode.

Are there what might be called...medical...images? Only I'm having me supper.
 
Is that 'River Monsters'? I enjoyed that series and remember in particular the electric eels and colossal catfish but no the Candiru episode.

Are there what might be called...medical...images? Only I'm having me supper.
You don't see his willy .. apart from some internal camera shots.
 
Thanks, should have no problem digesting unusual supper of chipolatas and baby lampreys then. Will watch cautiously...as long as you can't see the thing hanging out and causing bleeding.
 
A weenie bit uncomfortable to watch but the lad choad great stoicism and thank goodness got through the procedure with no cock-ups.

'Willie or won't he' have learnt his lesson? is the question the programme putz to the viewer. We can only hope a similar fate will not meatus, should we visit those parts.
 
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It certainly puts the story to bed, and it seems to say he was slightly above the river level so the fish swam up the piss stream. Careful next time you're in the Amazon..
 
Yep, it's evidently not an urban rainforest legend.
 
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