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  1. Swifty

    Humour & Jokes

    On this site? .. are you having a laugh? (I didn't make it, that was HappyToast) Monty Python Worshipers
  2. Swifty

    Humour & Jokes

    Plan B
  3. Swifty

    Political Correctness Rides Again

    Getting back to that Gillette advert, I checked out the difference between the cost for 10 men's razors and 10 women's yesterday and they're now the same price. Apparently TESCO were the first to stop ripping women off in 2017 so Morrison's at least seem to have followed the example. Here's...
  4. Swifty

    Humour & Jokes

    I'd puke on his guitar on purpose ..
  5. Swifty

    The Troll's Head

    Mornin' :D ... cricket? .. then you're OK drinking there at 10am because posh people are decadent, it's only when you're drinking with common people that early that it's bad, innit.
  6. Swifty

    SNNOOOOOWW !! =)

    SNNOOOOOWW !! =)
  7. Swifty

    Political Correctness Rides Again

    Reminds me of that old Dave Allen sketch: "If I was sunbathing naked in my back garden and my female neighbour looked out of her top story window, over my fence, and saw me? .. she can report me and have me arrested for indecent exposure. If she were to sunbathe in her back garden naked and I...
  8. Swifty

    Political Correctness Rides Again

    No. That's Cromer.
  9. Swifty

    Political Correctness Rides Again

    Equality gone too far? according to the link below, single sex changing rooms are still available and the unisex changing rooms are closed during school visits so that only schools can use them so I can't see what the problem is...
  10. Swifty

    Who Agrees?

    The same thing happened recently at a junior school on our street. I know the bloke who was working there as a caretaker, he has a Mrs and their daughter's at the same school, I used to work with him somewhere else. When he was working there, I asked him if he wasn't worried about false...
  11. Swifty

    Fortean Films

    It's only in planning stages at the moment .. https://www.theverge.com/2019/1/16/18185309/ghostbusters-sequel-jason-reitman-2020
  12. Swifty

    Abandoned, Disused & Ruinous Places

    A tour of the grounds and inside John Lennon's abandoned old house, uploaded 21st March, 2009 "This was my once in a lifetime chance to visit the grounds inside and out of John Lennon's "Beatle" home from July 1964 to Dec 1968. I still felt John's spirit throughout the house especially in his...
  13. Swifty

    Growing Old—Death Approaches!

    The Mrs has told me to tell you a good slap down when being harassed by younger men that you should do: She says they think you'll be flattered because you're older and they are younger so next time it happens say "I don't think so, you're too old for me" :cool: .. she says she got a lot of...
  14. Swifty

    Fortean Films

    Ghostbusters 3 teaser trailer .. a Jason Reitman film scheduled for 2020
  15. Swifty

    End Of The World 92/93

    Hi sdoig, this rings a bell with me. I can't pin down if it was '92 or '93 either but I'd gone around to a friends house in one of those two years, we used to hang around a lot at his house and his younger sister was very upset one day because she'd heard somewhere that earth was going to be hit...
  16. Swifty

    How Old Are You?

    "A tight spiral staircase is no match for youth and skill" - Swifty just now Here's a birthday song for LL :party:
  17. Swifty

    Non-Fortean Films

    We've just watched Ralph Breaks The Internet and I'd give it a 9 out of 10, it only loses a point because the story is too similar to Ready Player One. RBTI is a sequel to Wreck It Ralph. At the start of the story, Vanelope's (an in game character) gaming machine is broken. Her machine is so...
  18. Swifty

    How Old Are You?

    Happy Birthday LL, have this picture
  19. Swifty

    The 'Sharpened Pencils Up The Nostrils Examination' Legend

    Started by One Winged Bird, Mikefule's put the link to it in his post above.
  20. Swifty

    Who Agrees?

    :sbump: Now I'm picturing you as Mcgfawney telling the only gay in the village that what he needs is a nice bit of cock ..
  21. Swifty

    Who Agrees?

    That would work for the TGTOW who are in the closet but it wouldn't work for the straight blokes who are just a bit fed up with women: fed up of women? .. why not become gay instead? .. personal sexuality doesn't work that way for everyone. .. and from the gay blokes I've known, they've all...
  22. Swifty

    Growing Old—Death Approaches!

    The Mrs gets that at work, cocky 20 year olds giving it the "You know you want me!" and all that ;) .. I know them all very well anyway so it's all just in good fun flirting. I just say to her "Well they've got good taste.", they know she's the boss so she can't tease them back which is why...
  23. Swifty

    Humour & Jokes

    reminds me of: I can't wait to get the Mrs knickers off tonight! .. they're really starting to rub.
  24. Swifty

    Toilet Talk

    Melena stools and at that stage the patient's usually bed bound anyway .. On a more cheerful note, you've just reminded me of a HCA who'd started with us .. I asked her one day to attend a patient's buzzer with "Doris needs to go to the toilet if you can take her?" .. "But don't the nurses do...
  25. Swifty

    Toilet Talk

    I expect it's never been used.
  26. Swifty

    Toilet Talk

    So that's what the hole in the middle of the sponge is for? ... to sort of slot in the paper or wipes?. Clever.
  27. Swifty

    Toilet Talk

    Promoting independence and fostering dignity and equality as I remember the training Skargy .. I saw the independence writing on the box but it's honestly the first time I've seen one of these .. after use, are they put in some sort of sterilising solution bowl similar to a bog brush?. I...
  28. Swifty

    How Old Are You?

    The term's 'naughty 40's' apparently. I wonder what it is when you're in you 50's? .. probably 'thrifty 50's'.
  29. Swifty

    Toilet Talk

    Apparently these are still being made and sold .. three questions: what if you need to do more than one wipe, who cleans it and how?
  30. Swifty

    What Music?

    100% with you on that ... maybe I would have liked them if I'd been around in their glory years. I'm not a fan of prog rock in general though.
  31. Swifty

    Current State of The War Against Terror

    Terrorist attack on Nairobi hotel: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/world-africa-46861934
  32. Swifty

    Happy News Stories

    Best sex he's ever had?
  33. Swifty

    Who Agrees?

    Don't get me wrong, I've been shat on by women before but your true mates give you a leg up to keep going in my experience.
  34. Swifty

    Home Made Wine Query

    I had a glass bottle of elderberry champagne explode on me like that once. My Mum used to make it. I didn't want to waste it so I got one of those paper coffee machine filters, poured it through that and drank it anyway.
  35. Swifty

    Happy News Stories

    Go on youtube and find Kermit sings rainbow connection .. that'll cheer you up.
  36. Swifty

    Happy News Stories

    World's loneliest frog, Romeo, thought to be one of the last of his species has a date. They've found a girl one! :D (I hope she fancies him) https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-46867424
  37. Swifty

    The 'Sharpened Pencils Up The Nostrils Examination' Legend

    Cheers Mikefule, your recounting of this urban legend is the earliest dated one I've heard of so far!
  38. Swifty

    Home Made Wine Query

    My old flat mate decided he was going to brew his own beer one year. It wasn't one of those hipster mini kits, he went to a small local brewery and bought all the serious gear including a very large plastic barrel that would hold about 30 pints (from memory). The beer, although very muddy...
  39. Swifty

    Who Agrees?

    I wouldn't mind if that forum was a place where blokes could get together, have a bit of a moan and then help each other out with solutions but from the random bits I've skipped through, it just seems to be 'dump her'. True mates would let you crash over for the night, not slag your Mrs off, get...
  40. Swifty

    Who Agrees?

    I've just had to google what mgtow means, I went on to the mgtow forum .. Jesus that's a depressing and bitter forum, it's just as warped as extreme right wing feminism :(
  41. Swifty

    Political Correctness Rides Again

    Gillette have been ripping women off for years, my ex told me one day that a pack of their ten disposable razors for women cost more than a pack of ten disposable razors for men so we went to the shops to check it out and she was correct .. so she bought blue instead of pink from then on. I...
  42. Swifty

    Political Correctness Rides Again

    Gillette trolling for publicity probably .. here's someone having a 12 minute rant about it.
  43. Swifty

    What Are You Eating & Drinking?

    Everything a growing lad needs.
  44. Swifty

    What Are You Eating & Drinking?

    That wasn't sea fog in Cromer last night ... it dropped to 2 degrees so we were f*****g freezing. We do as many 'tramps on the pier' nights as we can.
  45. Swifty

    Who Agrees?

    The way he treats his staff, good luck to her and I think you're probably right, he's her very own Howard Marks and she's his Anna Nicole Smith. As for the women always getting half thing, that isn't always true anymore if the woman earns more than the man although, yes, it used to be .. they...
  46. Swifty

    Miscellaneous Ghost Photos & Videos

    Thanks Booo X
  47. Swifty

    Who Agrees?

    Reminds me of the music hall song my Grandad used to sing to us when we were kids when he wasn't singing Daisy Daisy or playing his harmonica (which I still own) She was a sweet little dicky bird Tweet tweet tweet she went She sang so sweetly 'till all my money was spent Then she flew away we...
  48. Swifty

    The 'Sharpened Pencils Up The Nostrils Examination' Legend

    The lad who told me told me when we were walking into the exam hall, that Snopes link above includes the extra bit you've mentioned about all students under that circumstance getting an automatic pass.
  49. Swifty

    What Are You Eating & Drinking?

    We've had similar today Lord Lucan, it was my turn to cook so I grilled, peppered and browned off two chicken fillets then made a creamy white wine sauce with some mushroom quarters chucked into that to keep that all on a low heat. We also had green beans and crinkly chips which was all...
  50. Swifty

    The 'Sharpened Pencils Up The Nostrils Examination' Legend

    You two should've written for Roger Moore :kersplat: I've edited to include a Snopes link in a post above discussing this urban legend.
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