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  1. Swifty

    The Bog Wall

    "anyone want a blowjob, meet me here at 5 tomorrow" in black biro and written underneath in blue biro "where were you?" (North Lodge Park public toilets, Cromer)
  2. Swifty

    Strange Folk

    Middle.
  3. Swifty

    The Continuing Insult To The English Language

    I remember celebrated women changing the world, always have and always will apart from the ones who aren't very good at doing that, exactly like more and less effective men.
  4. Swifty

    What Music?

    The Mrs's flapjacks are so good, she sells them to the staff at work now through orders and I rarely get one nowadays FFS .. so
  5. Swifty

    Strange Folk

    .. and then forced to marry half of them like last time.
  6. Swifty

    Strange Folk

    They refused to come to Cromer .. something about cameras being nicked ..
  7. Swifty

    Strange Folk

    A documentary film celebrating eccentrics "A celebration of those who are truly different from the rest of us and who, according to a ten-year study, are healthier, happier and tend to live longer."
  8. Swifty

    Weird Sex

    He sounds like a nice chap.
  9. Swifty

    Who Ya Gonna Call? Ghost Hunters & Hunting

    Part 2 of our 2nd visit to All Saints Church in Santon
  10. Swifty

    Weird Sex

    Three men went to mow, went to mow a meadow
  11. Swifty

    Haunted Construction/Renovation Projects

    Kick it back then!
  12. Swifty

    What Were You Doing Five Minutes Ago?

    I'd eat it?
  13. Swifty

    Game Of Thrones (Spoilers, Beware)

    If you can't beat them, join them .. a throne of games prank
  14. Swifty

    Humour & Jokes

    And Andrew Lincoln in 'Teachers' who ended up being Rick in The Walking Dead plus Hugh Laurie of tons or early British comedy stuff (including Blackadder) who made it big in the U.S. in the drama 'House'.
  15. Swifty

    Humour & Jokes

    I think that's how he started out, Goodness Gracious Me was the first time I saw him anyway. I should look him up on Wikipedia.
  16. Swifty

    Imagine

    TOYOTA actually did that in the late 80's before environmental concern was fashionable and with no outside financing or self promotion attached but just because they wanted to and they could :cool:
  17. Swifty

    Old-School Cool

    "I say .. take that you bounder!"
  18. Swifty

    The Curse Of Most Haunted

    Most Haunted have a new youtube channel starting tonight .. edit: direct link to the live Q&A session at 8pm tonight .
  19. Swifty

    Haunted Construction/Renovation Projects

    Cromer pier is supposed to be haunted, TV's Most Haunted even did an episode there except I know loads of people who've worked there and admit they've never experienced anything ghostly. The pier currently has scaffolding around it and a ribbon of windows was briefly exposed .. if the old...
  20. Swifty

    Humour & Jokes

    B3ta's Captain Howdy
  21. Swifty

    Listen, strange women flying on dragons setting stuff on fire is no basis for a system of...

    Listen, strange women flying on dragons setting stuff on fire is no basis for a system of government…
  22. Swifty

    Humour & Jokes

    Thank you Ginger X
  23. Swifty

    Horror Films

    Is that the newish one with him from League of Gentlemen in it?
  24. Swifty

    The Shit Thread: Excremental Discussion

    There's poo on my pen now ....
  25. Swifty

    The Shit Thread: Excremental Discussion

    LOL .. can I have your autograph?
  26. Swifty

    The Shit Thread: Excremental Discussion

    Have you seen 'Tub Girl'?
  27. Swifty

    Who Ya Gonna Call? Ghost Hunters & Hunting

    We use two clipboards and sync time checks to keep hand written notes during an invest. Our notes include the date, who's present, what equipment we have with us, the natural temperature and weather conditions. Our gadgets are first used to provide negatives (especially the laser thermometers)...
  28. Swifty

    Who Ya Gonna Call? Ghost Hunters & Hunting

    Sweet! .. Pt1 of our second visit to this church has finally uploaded. I haven't even watched this edit of it myself yet.
  29. Swifty

    Who Ya Gonna Call? Ghost Hunters & Hunting

    More of Eddie Mallet's footage .. .. his suggestions of possible EVPs .. 2.43. Female. Im Martha ! 4.16 Female. Ugggghhhh ! 15.49 Male. Richard. 18.19 Female voice. 18.30. Ugh !! Im Dying Ugh.
  30. Swifty

    Things That Make You Go... WTF?

    That and to kill the **** out of everyone .. and again a few days later I reckon. It worked either way.
  31. Swifty

    Things That Make You Go... WTF?

    Ask Enola Gay .. it's all his fault (US military had a new toy and wanted to end the war faster)
  32. Swifty

    Who Ya Gonna Call? Ghost Hunters & Hunting

    We don't want to do stage art .. I've full respect for stage performers, it's definitely a complex art form when well done .. I've also worked on horror films as an F/X artist as well as an editor but I (and we) don't want to mix the two .. paranormal investigations are, in fact, mostly...
  33. Swifty

    Who Ya Gonna Call? Ghost Hunters & Hunting

    I've just been told someone in an allegedly haunted theatre in Norwich has offered to pay us to sit on a stage behind her and do a séance .. £125 for the three of us apparently .. our instant knee jerk reaction is "No thank you" because anything we do afterwards won't be taken seriously and...
  34. Swifty

    The 'Unemployed Again' Thread

    NSFW .. me when I used to work at The Top Shop ..
  35. Swifty

    The 'Unemployed Again' Thread

    Excellent but no spoilers please skargy, I haven't managed to finish 4 yet ..
  36. Swifty

    Humour & Jokes

    Thanks bruv .. I had to do some work this morning like a grown up though :(
  37. Swifty

    Humour & Jokes

    It's my birthday today and we're a bit pissed .. Eddie Parp - Time Wanderer
  38. Swifty

    The 'Unemployed Again' Thread

    I'll have my laptop with me. They can come in and watch some quality porn with me if they buy me a can of beer (a choice of three lagers, three bitters and those gin and tonic cans I've learned today). Chicks with Dicks 5 is getting good reviews.
  39. Swifty

    Things That Make You Go... WTF?

    Apparently some advertising agency has just been paid nine hundred thousand pounds to 'design' this new British Telecom logo .. ffs https://www.theguardian.com/business/2019/may/16/bt-unveils-new-logo-to-match-transformation-to-national-champion .. reminds me of the time some advertising...
  40. Swifty

    The Shit Thread: Excremental Discussion

    I've got a laminated (probably for the best) Bristol Stool Chart somewhere that I nicked from somewhere. She's probably thrown it away hoping that I haven't noticed by now .. and this image has spelled diarrhoea incorrectly. and so has this video ..
  41. Swifty

    The R.I.P. Thread

    R.I.P. Grumpy Cat. She was 7 ...
  42. Swifty

    The 'Unemployed Again' Thread

    "I'm not sharing a pillbox with a bunch of farting tossers!" (full credit to muchly missed Rynner and when he made us all laugh here one day with that exclamation .. except he was talking about a post apocalypse cave instead) Thanks to everyone who's made suggestions, I've written them down...
  43. Swifty

    The 'Unemployed Again' Thread

    The camping site is on the same land as the WW2 pillbox I was renovating .. the youth could 'study and regard' the mags inside the pillbox and then return strangely silent and looking guilty and red faced to the parent's yurt afterwards, yes.
  44. Swifty

    The 'Unemployed Again' Thread

    We already sell the fire lighting stuff from a shed with an honesty box but good idea yep. There's barbecues outside each yurt and wood burners inside .. a couple of years ago, someone put there tablet on top of one of the wood burners while it was burning. Come to think of it, I should be...
  45. Swifty

    Kidney Stones

    I tried to on here once and someone reasonably made the point "More painful than having your arm ripped off?" .. I've never had an arm ripped off and given the choice between the two, I'd go for kidney stones again. A bloke I know on our street had kidney stones once, he told me that for him...
  46. Swifty

    The Good Stuff Online Thread

    Shed Of The Year 2019 is open for entrants .. they've been holding this contest for 13 years now http://www.readersheds.co.uk/share.cfm
  47. Swifty

    The 'Unemployed Again' Thread

    Without checking, I think even aspirin would still be included on the caution list in the UK. I expect I would be allowed to sell it but for the reasons I've written about above, I'd prefer not to. An ex co worker (at a store I worked in) received an angry phone call from a nurse .. the co...
  48. Swifty

    The 'Unemployed Again' Thread

    Those are all going on my list thanks Enola except the aspirin, I don't want to get involved in selling any kind of medication for regulation reasons (we had a woman resident first aid shout last week so my Mrs went to see her, my co worker dialled 111 for advice, the woman was seriously...
  49. Swifty

    The 'Unemployed Again' Thread

    Gin's definitely another good idea as well as champagne (although I'd probably sell prosecco instead of champagne), gin's been back in fashion for a couple of years now and I can get hold of Black Shuck gin easily. The main building with a bar is about 2 minutes walk away so I wouldn't need to...
  50. Swifty

    The 'Unemployed Again' Thread

    I could do it like 'Kiosk Keith' from I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here .. I take the money, ask them an obscure question and if they get it wrong, I can just close the shutter.
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