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  1. Swifty

    What Have You Been Doing Today ?

    I hope you included those military details in your write up.
  2. Swifty

    The 'Unemployed Again' Thread

    When me and the ex were going through a similar time, I thought "Sod it! .. I'm broke all the time .. might as well be broke but live at the seaside instead." That's how low my ambition in life had become. I was in my early 30's and to date it's probably still the bravest thing I've ever done...
  3. Swifty

    The 'Unemployed Again' Thread

    Sorry mate .. you'll get there I'm sure .. your luck sounds as bad as mine often is.
  4. Swifty

    Greta Thunberg

    I think it's that Greta reminds me too much of Rick Mayall's over earnest 'Rick' from The Young Ones that bothers me about her .. I'm just waiting for that first air fist punch from her .. she needs to live a little.
  5. Swifty

    The 'Unemployed Again' Thread

    You're not wrong shades. I've decided to buckle though and do tonight on my own for him. He says he's helping a mate move flat which I highly suspect to be bullshit although he's a very good worker normally, endearingly asking me if I need him to do anything all the time .. I don't exploit him...
  6. Swifty

    Things That Make You Go... WTF?

    I'm missing something .. why is someone on the floor farting what's probably talcum powder a 'gender reveal' ? .. is it something to do with the balloons?
  7. Swifty

    Greta Thunberg

    I could let teenager Heidi tell me off because the world just isn't fair .. or re watch teenager Ferris Bueller's Day Off instead .. decisions descisions ..
  8. Swifty

    I Remember It Well....

    I remember puncturing plastic capsules into my fountain pen at school as well as my wooden desk that was from an earlier 40's era so it was brass hinged .. biro's were also not allowed .. Mr Bird senior had run the place since war years. I was known as a naughty little sod so when his Son told...
  9. Swifty

    What Were You Doing Five Minutes Ago?

    lol .. good man for cheering you up though x
  10. Swifty

    The 'Unemployed Again' Thread

    Ouch .. .. I almost feel sorry for my new young co worker but? .. he tried to talk me into me working tomorrow night on my own. Friday nights and Saturday nights are our busiest nights normally. He offered to make it up to me by working on our quietist night of the week. Tuesday. I showed his...
  11. Swifty

    Christmas 2019

  12. Swifty

    Christmas 2019

    You can still buy them in Cromer which probably surprises precisely nobody ..
  13. Swifty

    Christmas 2019

    I meant to move that snow globe out of shot .. now everyone knows I've got a snow globe .. (just kidding, that isn't really my living room. I only ever watch porn on my laptop)
  14. Swifty

    Christmas 2019

  15. Swifty

    The Good Stuff Online Thread

    I had to send it to the Mrs .. she's got a weird thing for little people ...
  16. Swifty

    What Music?

    I'm not going to lie, I only really like this song because he uses the word wanker, he's got an interesting name .. Gerry Cinnamon .. and our head chef sometimes plays this at work and it cheers us all up .. the lyrics are pretty spot on though
  17. Swifty

    The Good Stuff Online Thread

    .. shit ..
  18. Swifty

    Stuff You've Just Bought

    .. we had three last year, two of them cousins and I knew all of them .. I contacted the then shadow health secretary Norman Lamb (alongside other people) who agreed something needed to be done and he put his money where his mouth was, he'd lost his own teenage son years before because of drugs...
  19. Swifty

    Humour & Jokes

  20. Swifty

    The Good Stuff Online Thread

    I don't want to spoil the ending ..
  21. Swifty

    Stuff You've Just Bought

    I know where you're coming from .. suicides do tend to cluster in small groups of friends yes .. his parents have approved of the logo .. a new mental health drop in centre has been created in Cromer as a result of the last cluster and on a day today level, we're all looking out for each other...
  22. Swifty

    Stuff You've Just Bought

    Thanks mate although you missed out Cromer Coutry Club who also have a de fib .. ;)
  23. Swifty

    Stuff You've Just Bought

    Already got the lock for him for it .. and when I give it to him, I'm thinking about putting a couple of condoms on the handles just to lighten the moment a bit ..
  24. Swifty

    Stuff You've Just Bought

    .. that's not going to happen because I'm nearly 50, haven't rode a BMX since the early 80's, skate parks didn't exist in the early 80's in England, the bike ways a ton compared to contemporary BMX's and I've already selected the guy who's going to own it .. Without wanting to depress you, it's...
  25. Swifty

    What Were You Doing Five Minutes Ago?

    Yep .. :) .. snowman, santa, penguin and two reindeers .. 50p for all of them. The Mrs has placed them there looking at me on a table in our living room ..
  26. Swifty

    What Were You Doing Five Minutes Ago?

    Admiring some good quality Christmas tree type decorations that someone hugely under priced at 10p each in a charity shop today. They're very nice.
  27. Swifty

    Humour & Jokes

  28. Swifty

    Greta Thunberg

    It's almost as if something's upsetting her ..
  29. Swifty

    Day Of The Animals

    Yeah!! .. It's a hill and I can slide down ittttt!!!!!!!!!!! :badge:
  30. Swifty

    Cats & People—What Are They Like?!

    Impressive .. most cats are selfish wankers ..
  31. Swifty

    ATM Dispenses Play Money

    We used to have an indoor market that sold amusing fake notes with current celebrity faces on them instead of the Queen .. I wouldn't be at all surprised if a few cheeky people did try to use them here. (Justin Bieber fake tenners and the like ..)
  32. Swifty

    Abandoned, Disused & Ruinous Places

    I think I've got a small piece. My girlfriend at the time was in Berlin and brought it back for me .. the problem was she didn't collect it herself from source but bought it from a local, some enterprising locals at the time were selling spray painted smashed up concrete bits they'd made...
  33. Swifty

    Abandoned, Disused & Ruinous Places

    That's mind blowing, nice find. Perhaps the owner has criminal connections and locals are too frightened to rob it? .. plus who would you know to approach to sell the stuff on without the risk of some of it being identified? .. I'm thinking about this too much.
  34. Swifty

    What Music?

    The Mrs's mother has mental health problems and really related to Garry Jules cover version of Tears For Fears cover version of 'Mad World' from the same film .. I explained to her who Tears For Fears were .. .. that whole Donnie Darko scene's beautiful and honest for me .. I read the film's...
  35. Swifty

    Humour & Jokes

    In that case, this one again .. and ..
  36. Swifty

    Star Wars

    HA ! .. REE YEES JUST GOT FACED BOUNCED OFF THAT BAR!
  37. Swifty

    Ever Met Anyone Famous?

    The sign has 'Sutton Hoo' written on it so I don't think that would work. Did you know you've got a tampon sticking out of your nose btw?. (someone tried to film a porno at The Red Lion hotel just before I started there .. the manager booked a couple in .. then others asked where the room was...
  38. Swifty

    Ever Met Anyone Famous?

    Ta and I crept down .. and filming is tomorrow between 7am and 7 pm according to a sign they've put up announcing Jetty Street & Jetty Cliff being closed .. they were daft enough to put a phone number on the sign though so if anyone fancies complaining just for a laugh on behalf of the good...
  39. Swifty

    Ever Met Anyone Famous?

    NETFLIX are filming in Cromer today .. they've got a crew set dressing the front of The Hotel De Paris at the moment .. apparently it's called 'The Dig' and Ralph Fiennes will be here at some point. If I get the night off work, I'm going to creep down with my camera .. again ..
  40. Swifty

    The Good Stuff Online Thread

    YEAH!!
  41. Swifty

    What Are You Eating & Drinking?

    When it stops raining, I think I'm going to walk down to Morrisons café and have an all day breakfast because I've been given the day off work .. that or half a roast chicken with gravy, chips and peas there but I need to remember to take some cranberry sauce with me from our fridge. I just...
  42. Swifty

    I Remember It Well....

    I've got fuzzy 70's memories of our milkman selling Corona during his round and me and my big sister hassling my Mum for it .. and a bear cartoon character I think on one of the labels .. didn't the glass Corona bottles have little 'bobbles' on them or am I mis remembering ? .. and this modern...
  43. Swifty

    What Have You Been Doing Today ?

    Good call man .. f--k that .. wise decision
  44. Swifty

    What Music?

  45. Swifty

    What Have You Been Doing Today ?

    Have fun but don't name it after me.
  46. Swifty

    What Have You Been Doing Today ?

    Telling the 17 year old who's just started working for us that he doesn't have to ask my permission to go to the toilet anymore because he's now left school: "Say instead I'm just off for a shit .. hopefully it's twins but I won't name one after you." .. then we are also traditionally bound...
  47. Swifty

    Robot Round-Up

    Testing nine new mini cheetahs at M.I.T.
  48. Swifty

    The Trip Advisor Thread

    There used to be a café in Birmingham called 'MR. EGG' ... no prizes for guessing what they specialized in .. me and my best mate always dropped in there from our train journey before we spent money at Nostalgia & Comics .. you'd order your meal but they all had egg, the owner would shout at...
  49. Swifty

    Hoaxes & Pranks

    I think he bounced back from that prank call well to be fair to him but I won't talk about this any further because .. politics ...
  50. Swifty

    The Nanny State: Ideological Policing & Internet Censorship

    I did a 3 month contract doing till work/shelf stacking etc for a Norfolk based chain store (a bit like Woolworths was) last Christmas .. and if someone wanted to buy tea spoons .. tea spoons I tell you .. the screen would tell me to age check the customer. I managed to turn it into a bit of fun...
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