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46-B

Analogue Boy

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Is 14-legged killer squid found TWO MILES beneath Antarctica being weaponised by Putin?
A KILLER giant squid that can hypnotise its prey and paralyse humans at a distance of 150 feet using poisonous venom is being developed as a secret weapon by Vladimir Putin, a scientist has claimed.

Doctor Anton Padalka claims he was part of a Russian scientific expedition to a subterranean lake in the Arctic that discovered the terrifying creature - known as Organism 46-B.

He said their discovery at Lake Vostok was covered up by Russian officials who are now looking at ways to weaponise and breed the deadly squid - with potentially devastating effects.


Dr Padalka said the squid, which was discovered in a fresh water lake trapped beneath two miles of ice, possessed an array of weapons and was responsible for the deaths of at least two of his scientific colleagues on the expedition.

Giving details which sounded like the script of a B-movie horror film he said: “We encountered Organism 46-B on our first day. It disabled our radio - which we later learned, to our alarm, was intentional.

“It is also able to paralyse prey from a distance of up to 150 feet by releasing its venom into the water.

“Tragically my colleague and lifelong friend was killed this way. He tread water wearing a blissful smile as the organism approached him.

“We watched helplessly as it used its arms to tear off its head then popped its remains in its mouth. It was as if it had hypnotised him telepathically.”

The 33 foot-long man-eater also boasts extraordinary camouflage that helped it stalk the researchers - including shape-shifting.

Dr Padalka said: “The shapeshifting capabilities of organism 46-B sound almost diabolical. It shaped itself into the form of a human diver.

"We thought it was one of my colleagues swimming towards us in scuba gear. By the time the closest scientist has realised what it was it had grabbed him and torn him to bits.”

He revealed the octopus could also use its tentacles to kill, even after they had been hacked off its body.


Dr Padalka claimed another of his colleagues were killed by a tentacle many hours after slicing it off with an axe.

He said: “Later that night it slithered across the ice bank and strangled her.”

After five days battling the animal, the remaining scientists finally trapped Organism 46-B in a tank. They brought it to the surface but were shocked when it was seized by Russian officials, who told the waiting international press nothing had been found.

Dr Padalka fled the country and raised the alarm this week after he claimed to have discovered Mr Putin’s plans to use the animal as a military weapon.



http://www.express.co.uk/news/weird...ganism-46-b-russian-army-secret-weapon-russia
 
I thought the thread title was something equally alarming about underwear. A squid with 14 legs? Would that still be a squid, technically?
 
So: does this spell the final end for slithering multi-legged weaponised creature that, mythologically, was considered to be real journalism?

Whilst Daily Express/Dail Mail etc have always been a bit reactive and hysterical in their reporting, this is just Jules Verne meets the National Enquirer on speed.

If this is really intended to be taken seriously, the world (well, society) has ended.
 
What does this thing normally feed on when there are no scuba-diving scientists handy? :p

Giant ninja shrimp that can speak several languages, count to a thousand in Urdu, and dismantle/reassemble a Lambretta in under ten minutes.

What's really intriguing me about the article is what is its purpose?
Clickbait? Propaganda? Is this 'news' for people who don't like news?..

It's in the Express - so it's probably something to do with the EU, but they forgot to print the final paragraph. (It's the new special adviser on fisheries and poking the Russians with a pointy stick, possibly.)
 
Well, whatever happened to our Fortean spirit? A 14-legged giant squid with an arsenal of supernatural weapons has been found alive and well in a lake 2 miles deep under the ice and is now being weaponisd by Putin. What's so hard to believe?

You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
 
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