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46-B

This one is so far gone I couldn't think of a thread bonkers enough for it so figured it needed a new one.

Putin is using Lake Vostok to develop organism 46b - a giant shapeshifting killer octopus that can hypnotise a human at upto 150 feet.

 
..It's in the Express - so it's probably something to do with the EU, but they forgot to print the final paragraph.
And Diana. Don't forget Diana (still tragically dead after all these years.)

There's clearly more research needed here, especially into these extraordinarily-thin Russian scuba divers who can operate a mile and a half below the lake-bed in the South North Pole (or is it North South Pole?). It's political correctness gone mad, the red-tape mongering health and safety lunatics have taken over the asylum, there's nothing the government can do about it and YOU'RE paying for it!! PS Don't miss our super gardening-gloves offer on page 29. You get a Parker pen just for enquiring.
 
And Diana. Don't forget Diana (still tragically dead after all these years.)

There's clearly more research needed here, especially into these extraordinarily-thin Russian scuba divers who can operate a mile and a half below the lake-bed in the South North Pole (or is it North South Pole?). It's political correctness gone mad, the red-tape mongering health and safety lunatics have taken over the asylum, there's nothing the government can do about it and YOU'RE paying for it!! PS Don't miss our super gardening-gloves offer on page 29. You get a Parker pen just for enquiring.

Of course, none of that will happen because we'll all freeze to death in the worst winter ever or be wiped out by a giant asteroid.
 
I may have to recycle the audio from that vid for the next installment of Modular Arse. :D

Also I want to know who would win in a fight between 46b and MechaTrump.
 
I may have to recycle the audio from that vid for the next installment of Modular Arse. :D

Also I want to know who would win in a fight between 46b and MechaTrump.
MechaTrump. He's got a bigger mouth.
 
46B is a far more believable creature than President Donald Trump.

... Yet for decades hereafter conspiracy theorists will consider the latter, rather than the former, as Putin's single greatest trick. :evil:
 
If Putin is going to raise some creature to ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!
 
..It's in the Express - so it's probably something to do with the EU, but they forgot to print the final paragraph

And Diana. Don't forget Diana (still tragically dead after all these years.)...

Hmmm. Di?

EU?

DI + EU = Dieu = French for God. Who moves in mysterious ways - in the Pont d'Alma tunnel - the name of which celebrates an Anglo-French-Ottoman victory against....The Russians. Who are now developing giant shape-shifting fighting squid in a lake named after a warship: Vostok.

Diana’s car approached the crash site from the east for 1.5 kilometres on an almost perfect parallel: Vostok is Russian for east...or orient. To orient is also to align relative to the points of a compass – the atual Pont d’Alma runs on a north/south alignment the last journey therefore satisfies two of the cardinal directions of the compass.

Nurse...NURSE!!! I’m getting the voices again...

Wibble.
 
This is all utter nonsense!! Everybody knows that Putin IS a shapeshifting cyclopic octopus with telepathic powers!
 
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