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A Drowning Man Prays; God Responds In Spades

Yithian

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A drowning man prayed for help. God sent a floating tiki bar filled with priests.
CNA Staff, Sep 8, 2020 / 06:07 pm MT (CNA).

When Jimmy Macdonald found himself floundering in the waters of Lake George in New York next to his tipped kayak, he thought he might die.

He had been enjoying a relaxing August day on the lake with his family, meditating and snapping pictures. He kept his lifejacket in the boat - he didn’t think he would need it, he told Glens Falls Living.

But his kayak ended up drifting, and suddenly he found himself far from shore and from his wife and stepchildren. Despite the rough waters, he still thought he could make it back to shore, and so he waved on several boats that had stopped to offer help.

But when his kayak tipped and his hastily-donned lifejacket came up to his ears, Macdonald knew he was in real trouble.

“I thought I was going to die. I was absolutely powerless and wished I had asked for help earlier. I was waving my hand and asked God to please help me,” he said.

God answered his prayers - but not in the form of Jesus walking on water.

“And then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the tiki boat.”

Aboard the floating bar boat were seminarians and priests of the Paulist Fathers from St. Joseph's Seminary in Washington, D.C. The Catholic religious community had been on retreat nearby and were taking a break on a boat rented from Tiki Tours.


Story Continues:
https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/...tvsLvcgRmFVszMNKZ_yEh7hXG9o8woAcP8Gtm014oLaAA
 
A drowning man prayed for help. God sent a floating tiki bar filled with priests.
CNA Staff, Sep 8, 2020 / 06:07 pm MT (CNA).

When Jimmy Macdonald found himself floundering in the waters of Lake George in New York next to his tipped kayak, he thought he might die.

He had been enjoying a relaxing August day on the lake with his family, meditating and snapping pictures. He kept his lifejacket in the boat - he didn’t think he would need it, he told Glens Falls Living.

But his kayak ended up drifting, and suddenly he found himself far from shore and from his wife and stepchildren. Despite the rough waters, he still thought he could make it back to shore, and so he waved on several boats that had stopped to offer help.

But when his kayak tipped and his hastily-donned lifejacket came up to his ears, Macdonald knew he was in real trouble.

“I thought I was going to die. I was absolutely powerless and wished I had asked for help earlier. I was waving my hand and asked God to please help me,” he said.

God answered his prayers - but not in the form of Jesus walking on water.

“And then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the tiki boat.”

Aboard the floating bar boat were seminarians and priests of the Paulist Fathers from St. Joseph's Seminary in Washington, D.C. The Catholic religious community had been on retreat nearby and were taking a break on a boat rented from Tiki Tours.


Story Continues:
https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/...tvsLvcgRmFVszMNKZ_yEh7hXG9o8woAcP8Gtm014oLaAA
God's always had an ace sense of humour. Just ask Depeche Mode.

 
What a loser to not put his lifejacket on initialy and then find it was too big for him.
 
Man in kayak on a lake full of boats eventually rescued by boat.

The only Fortean thing about this story is that "suddenly he found himself far from shore."

Suddenly? Some form of teleportation? Or a time slip? Eddies in the space time continuum? (And that's his sofa?)

Or am I reading it wrong? Perhaps this is the right construction: "He had been enjoying a relaxing August day on the lake with his family, meditating"... "and suddenly he found himself..."

The story of him waving away the boats that stopped to offer help reminds me of an old joke:

A man is drowning. He prays to God to be saved.
A boat arrives and offers help.
"No thanks, I have faith that God will save me." He carries on praying.
A second boat arrives some time later and offers help. "No thanks, I have faith God will save me." He carries on praying.
As the man is approaching exhaustion, a helicopter arrives. The man waves it away shouting, "No thanks, I have faith God will save me." Eventually he drowns and finds himself in Heaven.
He storms up to God's throne: "I showed faith in you and yet you let me drown."
"I can't understand it," says God, "I sent 2 boats and a helicopter."

I believe there was an ancient Greek version of this where the man's cart was stuck in the mud and he refused offers of assistance saying that he would pray to Zeus for help instead."
 
I’m drowning in work every day. God will take pity and save me with a good euromillions win

This story seems to suggest he is more likely to bequeath you a Wetherspoons filled with vicars.
 
A drowning man prayed for help. God sent a floating tiki bar filled with priests...

Thing is though, if God had really wanted a challenge he'd have made sure the prospective drownee was an ultra-Protestant teetotaller - then got Himself some popcorn and sat back to enjoy the 'which would win a fight' challenge between intense internal moral and theological struggle, and two lungfuls of pondwater.
 
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