Anyone Have An Embarrassing, Amazing, Self-Inflicted Injury?

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#31
Ringo_ said:
Hi everyone! This should be on the coincidence thread. I'm trying to put together a TV show based on real-life embarrassing moments also. I thought it was my own original idea but turns out somebody has already thought of it. Damn!

...
Bet that was embarrassing! :lol:
 

graylien

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#32
Unfortunately, my own embarrassing injury story has already been featured on ITV 2's When Badgers Go Bad
 

rynner2

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#33
graylien said:
Unfortunately, my own embarrassing injury story has already been featured on ITV 2's When Badgers Go Bad
I was in that!

Lucky for me that surgeons were able to re-attach the - er - body part!
 

ArthurASCII

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#34
Many moons ago (whilst pished) I sat on a glass-topped coffee table whilst trying to "chat up" a bird. The table broke under my not-inconsiderable weight, and a shard of glass stabbed my ring piece.

I'm sure you will agree that there was nothing at all amusing about the incident.

** edit **

I also once sat on a bird table whist "chatting up" a woman, but nothing untoward happened with the peanuts.
 

Heckler

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#35
ArthurASCII said:
Many moons ago (whilst pished) I sat on a glass-topped coffee table whilst trying to "chat up" a bird. The table broke under my not-inconsiderable weight, and a shard of glass stabbed my ring piece.

I'm sure you will agree that there was nothing at all amusing about the incident.
.
'Ere Arthur you're not the famous TV celeb from the 70's who allegedly used to pay girls to lay underneath his glass coffee table whilst he took a Barry White on it are you?
 

sunsplash1

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#36
... And so -like- the production assistant fell to the ground, after being shot at by my Dad by mistake, like I said before right? And anyway that Mrs Bling from the next caravan next to the one me uncle had stolen which we was living in she goes like ' Get inside everyone, the president of the United State is on his way.'

But -like- Mrs Bling was in such a hurrry and fluster that she slipped on the bottom rung off the steps leading from the caravan door and fell really hard. Landed on the small, redundant piecé of bone we all have at the base of the spine, like.
:p
 

Yithian

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#37
Heckler20 said:
ArthurASCII said:
Many moons ago (whilst pished) I sat on a glass-topped coffee table whilst trying to "chat up" a bird. The table broke under my not-inconsiderable weight, and a shard of glass stabbed my ring piece.

I'm sure you will agree that there was nothing at all amusing about the incident.
.
'Ere Arthur you're not the famous TV celeb from the 70's who allegedly used to pay girls to lay underneath his glass coffee table whilst he took a Barry White on it are you?
I thought Noddy Holder used to have men shat on a glass pane resting over him for their kicks...

Or am i crossing tales?
 

Heckler

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#38
theyithian said:
I thought Noddy Holder used to have men shat on a glass pane resting over him for their kicks...

Or am i crossing tales?
You're thinking of the glass dancefloor UL, that Noddy Holder built a large glass dancefloor and paid Scots dancers to perform a sword dance in their kilts whilst he laid underneth.

It's similar to the UL that when he approached the vinegar stroke he would shout 'It's Christmas!!'
 

GNC

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#39
That reminds me, I wonder if Marc Almond wants to share his embarrassing incident?
 

stu neville

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#40
theyithian said:
I thought Noddy Holder used to have men shat on a glass pane resting over him for their kicks...

Or am i crossing tales?
Wrong way round - Noddy, when rather skint on tour in Europe somewhere, was paid to take a crap on a glass topped coffee table by someone else (I remember him discussing it a couple of years ago on a late night chat show - poss Frank Skinner or Wossy).

As for the glass dancefloor, that apparently bollocks (pardon the pun :)).
 
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#41
ANYONE KNOW THIS GUY?:

Copyright 1999 Independent Newspapers Limited.
The Christchurch Press
MONEY AND PIES WORTH THE PAIN OF PUB STUNT


Financially strapped student Thomas Hendry, who stapled and set his penis alight, says he is no masochist. He did it for the $ 500 cash prize to pay off his bills and buy some new clothes.

Mr Hendry's bizarre act of stapling his penis to a white pine crucifix, pouring cigarette lighter fluid over it and setting it alight, took top prize in Trader McKendry's Tavern's controversial promotion, How Far Will You Go?

He walked away with $ 500 cash and a $ 500 bar tab. He used the money to pay his car registration, warrant of fitness, and dog registration for his bloodhound cross, Puss.
 
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#42
99TVShow: Its unlikely - you'd be better off phoning the newspaper and getting them to put you in touch with him.
 

theredmeanie

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#47
ArthurASCII said:
Anyone had any feedback about this proposed TV show?, or did common sense prevail?
Mmmm, yes, Arthur. I can feed back that Discovery are still making some of the worst T.V. shite of all time.
 

Peripart

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#48
I hurt my fist punching the TV when yet another "100 most embarrassing TV moments from hell when pets win the funniest prizes" show came on. It really hurt.
 
A

Anonymous

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#49
I once, with a group of school 'mates', had a bet - when going for a collective hair cut - to have it all shaved off. No-one wanted to lose so we all did it!

Had to wear a hat for a few weeks. Does that count?
 

Stormkhan

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#51
ninetynineTVshow said:
I doubt you will get "15 minutes of fame" from it, but maybe you can show people these things happen and you are alright now!
But if you don't get the fame of being held up to ridicule then there is no point. Hundreds of people have accidents which were avoidable and survive. You might persuade some loosers who really want to show how they acted like an idiot and were injured ... but they won't be on your show to reassure your viewers that it was okay, that they survived to tell the tale.
Sorry - it doesn't wash. The potential viewer wants to laugh at the putz making a complete fool of himself; that's how Candid Camera became a success. If you want to make a show that acts as a warning to other feckwits not to swallow nitric acid, shoot themselves with a nailgun etc. etc. then start doing Public Information films (or whatever the equivalent in the States is).

If you keep asking for volunteers like this, I'm sure you'll get the cream of the crop of complete idiots, loosers, jerks, nuts and desperate c-list celebrities willing to relate how they acted like a twat and got injured by it.
 
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#53
Not exactly embarrassing - but I was stabbed in the backside in Coventry in the late 80's. It's always pissed me off that my most impressive war wound, one with such potential source for a bit of street kudos, is not in a place which is particularly easy to flaunt in pubs and on buses and the like.

(Actually, it's not that impressive - but I don't see it that often and as such it tends to grow somewhat in my imagination.)
 
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Gizmos Mama

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#55
When I was about 6, I stabbed myself in the femoral artery with a serrated steak knife I was using as a saw to make a log cabin for my Barbie. :roll: :oops:

Not knowing any better, I pulled the knife out and blood squirted about 6-8 ft across the lawn.I then proceeded to run across the parking lot, with blood filling my shoe, to my apartment, where the babysitter was looking after my brother.

She called her Dad, who was luckily for me, just upstairs in their apt. He came, clamped a dishtowel on my leg so hard that's when I started crying, and stopped the bleeding. I'm pretty sure he totally saved my life!
 

Gizmos Mama

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#57
I'm impressed that he stopped the bleeding. Difficult to do with an artery.
Yes, I am so lucky he did stop the bleeding. When they say that you need to put pressure on a wound, they mean push down with all your force and don't let up, which is what this gentleman did to me. He really clamped down on my leg, hard, like so hard it hurt!! A LOT!!

And it probably helped that I was so young and small, because he could get his hand almost completely around my leg. Also, I didn't have all the fat and muscle I have now, which made putting direct pressure on the artery easier.
 
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#58
...She called her Dad, who was luckily for me, just upstairs in their apt. He came, clamped a dishtowel on my leg so hard that's when I started crying, and stopped the bleeding. I'm pretty sure he totally saved my life!
Actually, I feel a bit bad 'liking' a story about you stabbing yourself - but I'm glad the guy knew what to do, because, yes, he very probably saved your life.

One of the frightening things about knife wounds is that although we tend to think of them as agonising, and their presence clearly indicated by copious amounts of blood, they are not always necessarily obvious to the victim. When training some years back I was advised to vigorously pat both myself and then my opo down after any confrontation involving an edged weapon, even if we didn't think it had come anywhere near us. A wound from a very sharp knife can feel more like a punch than a puncture - added to which adrenalin can temporarily mask the attendant pain; you can bleed to death without being aware that you’ve been cut.

In the incident mentioned earlier I had no idea I’d been punctured until someone else spotted the blood – and one time I accidentally slashed myself across the inside forearm at work I was initially under the impression that the claret pooling on the floor was from another guy, who’d gone very white and shaky; but no, it was mine – he just couldn’t stand the sight of blood.

I spent a lot of time in Coventry in the late 80s.

I knew I recognised you from somewhere.
It was YOU!?.

You owe me a pair of underpants. With pictures of tractors on them.
 

Gizmos Mama

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#59
added to which adrenalin can temporarily mask the attendant pain
My memory of stabbing myself is pretty complete, as I remember details like the blood bubbling up through my shoe as I was running home, but I don't remember any pain at all until Babysitter's Dad clamped down on my leg. Even though I pulled a serrated knife, that was stuck in my leg, out.

Shock and adrenalin are amazing!

Actually, I feel a bit bad 'liking' a story about you stabbing yourself
Well, hopefully you, (and 5 others) are liking the story itself, and that, thanks to that wonderful man, I survived, not the fact that I stabbed myself doing something incredibly stupid.
 
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