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April Fools' Day

....everyone I know who saw this said the same thing: "Aprils Fools Day Prank". So I guess it's safe to assume the threat of this computer worm will be just that, a prank, or will it?

Conficker virus could be deadly threat – or April Fool's joke
Monday 30 March 2009


It could be the biggest April Fool's joke ever played on the internet, or it could be one of the worst days ever for computers connected to the network. Security experts can't work out whether the Conficker virus – which has infected more than 10m Windows PCs worldwide – will wreak havoc on Wednesday , or just let the day pass quietly.

Experts have worked out that from midnight on 1 April, the Conficker program will start scanning thousands of websites for a new set of instructions telling it what to do next. The infected machines thus comprise one of the biggest "botnets" – a network of "robot" computers – in internet history. And if they were all given a target, such as simultaneously sending search queries to Google or trying to connect to a gambling site, they could knock it offline through the sheer volume of connections – a "denial of service". Victims usually discover that they have been locked out of their computers or have very slow-running internet connections.

Botnets have been used in the past to generate millions of pieces of spam email and to blackmail gambling sites that need to stay online during sports events with the threat that they will be deluged by a "denial of service" attacks.

Careful study of infected machines has revealed that from midnight on Wednesday they will seek new instructions from a randomly generated list of thousands of websites that changes every day. Just one needs to be under the virus writers' control to turn Conficker into a newly configured botnet – making the task of catching the exact site a search for a needle in a computing haystack."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/20 ... -computing
 
well, it's now april the first. Everybody get your practical joke radar set to pun?
 
Lame article on some of this years April Fools Pranks:
http://www.news.com.au/technology/story ... 39,00.html

"The best jokes of the day included:

The Guardian newspaper announcing that "after 188 years of ink", it was switching to publishing everything on Twitter.

Broadband site Whirlpool reporting the sacking of Communications Minister Stephen Conroy.

The New Zealand Herald's technology blog revealing that Microsoft had purchased Apple.

Online activism group Get Up! reporting a message from Prime Minister Kevin Rudd saying local MPs will start looking after everyone's children in lieu of a paid parental leave system.

Mountain-biking site Farkin announcing that it had been shut down because of its risqué name as part of the Government's web filtering plan.

The Herald Sun reporting that Chinese construction giant Mekong Industries was seeking to buy the naming rights to the MCG... and keep the name the same.

The Advertiser revealing that a giant, 45,000-seat stadium in the shape of a "frog cake" and painted lime green would be built in Adelaide.

Technology news website ZDNet reporting that a mystery contender had won the contract to build the National Broadband Network. The group was called "One.Tel"."


Ha ha ha....ha....er, I don't get it?
 
From The Telegraph:

Fleet Street joins in the April Fool's fun
Britain's newspapers kept their readers entertained with a selection of hilarious April Fool's Day stories.

Last Updated: 7:06AM BST 01 Apr 2009

Oh Jacqui, surely that can't be you?

The Daily Mail has a laugh at Jacqui Smith's expense by creating a photograph to make it appear as if the Home Secretary is coyly leaving a branch of the sex shop Ann Summers.

Poking fun at her expenses claim for two adult films viewed by her husband, the paper jokes: "In sober suit and clutching a carrier bag, could this really be the Home Secretary emerging from one of the saucier High Street stores?"

After 188 years of ink, Guardian switches to Twitter

The Guardian reports that it is to become the first newspaper in the world to abandon the traditional print format and be published exclusively via the social networking service Twitter. To demonstrate how it might cover future stories with no more than the 140 permitted characters for each "tweet", the article shows how items from its archive have been rewritten to suit the Twitter style. For example: "1940 W Churchill giving speech NOW – 'we shall fight them on the beaches... we shall never surrender' check YouTube later for the rest"

Now you see it... now you don't

The Daily Express claims that a British inventor has created an invisible car to allow motorists to beat speed cameras. Supported by photographs imitating Pierce Brosnan's vanishing Aston Martin in the James Bond film Die Another Day, the paper reports that the adapted Westfield sports car is wrapped in a specially formulated clear plastic film, making it invisible to speed cameras.

Ukraine's big game refrain is 6min pain

The Sun jokes that England fans should brace themselves for the World Cup qualifier against Ukraine because they will have to stand through the world's longest national anthem. It reports that supporters caught jeering or sitting back down during the full 6.5-minute version of Oi Ukrainy will be ejected from Wembley Stadium. It adds that Fabio Capello's boys turned down the option of singing all six verses of God Save the Queen because most of our players "don't even know the words to the short version".

Sheep farmer ensures blanket coverage for Tartan Week

The Times features a photograph of apparently tartan sheep, which a farmer is promoting to visitors ahead of Tartan Week, which runs from April 6. Showing little faith in the scepticism of its readers, the paper prompts its audience to check the date on the "baa-code".

Exclusive: Banker here: Do I feel any pity when people lose? Not one iota. Deal with it

The Daily Mirror claims to have the first ever interview with the Deal or No Deal skinflint banker, who shows no mercy for the beaten contestants.

The salmon current: how fish could power homes

And at The Daily Telegraph, we suggested that harnessing the power of fish swimming through a river could hold the key to generating electricity for Britain's homes in the future. A researcher is quoted as saying: "Initially, we looked at working with sheep and cattle as well as fish but it quickly became apparent that the energy-generating potential of fish far outweighed that of slow-moving grazing stocks."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstop ... s-fun.html
 
Millions of web users fall for 'hotelicopter' April Fool
Millions of web users have fallen for an elaborate April Fool's Day hoax featuring video footage of the world's first flying hotel in a converted helicopter.

Last Updated: 2:01AM BST 01 Apr 2009

A viral email clip appears to show a Russian-made Mil V-12 being used as the first-ever flying 'hotelicopter'.

The spoof advertisement shows the aircraft flying with the strapline: "For the first time in aviation history, the luxury of a five-star hotel room can finally take flight. Experience the luxury, elevate your stay – Hotelicopter."

According to its makers, the 137 ft (42m) hotelicopter was said to have 18 luxurious rooms "for adrenalin junkies seeking a truly unique and memorable travel experience".

The clip became an overnight internet sensation after it was posted online last Thursday by an 'expert' calling himself Alvin Farley.

He claimed to have spent the past five years modifying the helicopter, which he boasted had a top speed of 158mph.

But it has now emerged that the interior shots used for the video – which show queen-sized beds and jacuzzis – were lifted from airport hotel chain Yotel's website.

Furthermore, only two Mil V-12s were ever built – one crashed in 1968, and the second was donated to a museum near Moscow where it still remains.

But scores of people have fallen for the hoax and the 'hotelicopter' had tens of thousands of fans on its Facebook and Twitter pages.

The 37-second video, which went live on www.hotelicopter.com last week, has been created with computer-generated graphics.

It claimed the soundproofed hotel had queen-sized beds, a mini bar, wireless internet, DVD player, whirlpool bath and room service.

The helicopter itself was said to be 137ft (42m) long, 91ft (28m) tall, and capable of flying 700 miles on a cruising speed of 147mph.

Its first commercial flight is 'scheduled' to take place on June 26 from JFK Airport in New York. It would then reach the UK in July and August as part of a European tour.

But the advertisement is actually part of a viral marketing campaign by Yotel.

Spokeswoman Jo Berrington said: "Although this is a joke maybe in the future it could become reality. We are looking to push the boundaries and make people think about what's possible.

"It's a little bit tongue in cheek and we are just having some April Fool's day fun but we are always looking at other options for hotel rooms.

"One day this will be possible because air travel and technology are constantly advancing."

Internet user Beth Hale, 29, said: "I was totally caught up in the hype. I honestly thought this was totally true, and even asked by boyfriend if he could book a room for my 30th birthday later this month."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstop ... -Fool.html
 
If only this were true...

Electronic tagging for exiles of 'high net worth' proposed
HUGH LINEHAN

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/fro ... 95000.html

Wed, Apr 01, 2009

ELECTRONIC TAGGING for “tax exiles” is being considered by the Department of Finance in advance of next week’s budget.

The measure is aimed at monitoring the presence in the State of individuals who claim to be non-resident for tax purposes.

Last year, 5,803 people claimed non-residency for tax. The Revenue believes that 440 of those are “high net worth” individuals. “These are the people who we’d be aiming this proposal at,” a spokesman for the department said.

Foreign-based Irish millionaires can avoid Irish tax if they spend fewer than 183 days in the State. Last November, Minister for Finance Brian Lenihan abolished the so-called “Cinderella” rule, whereby an individual is not deemed to have spent a day in the country if they leave by midnight.

“We’re still concerned that there are a few fairy tales being told about where people are actually living,” said the spokesman.

Electronic tagging is a form of non-surreptitious surveillance consisting of an electronic device attached to a person, usually certain criminals, allowing their whereabouts to be monitored.

The devices locate themselves using GPS and report their position back to a control centre via a mobile phone network. The devices are usually built into ankle monitors, which are designed to be tamper-resistant and will alert the authorities to tampering attempts. According to the spokesman, certain technical issues remain to be resolved before the plan is implemented.

“For example, many of these people have ‘panic rooms’ in their homes to protect themselves against criminals,” he said. “We’re not absolutely sure of the technicalities, but if these rooms are lead-lined, they might block the signal from the electronic tag.

“In theory it might be possible for a high-net-worth individual to remain in a panic room for days or even weeks without us knowing.”

The Office of the Revenue Commissioners is in discussions with a US-based high-technology security company, FailProof, on providing the service.
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They had a pretty good one on WSFM this year.

They were talking all morning about Macquarie Bank having bought the naming rights to the Sydney Harbour Bridge.
As soon as I heard it I realised it was April 1st and I didn't think there'd be many people who fell for it, but all morning they had outraged people calling up to vent their spleens about the bastard banks buying up our icons, and how they have no right and we should protest, and why wasn't it mentioned until the last minute, and it was a conspiracy between the banks and the government to make money and screw the little people over...

:roll:

I'm a pretty gullible person, but really.
 
Here we are again! Keep your eyes on the media for those weird stories which could, just possibly, be made up... 8)

The Guardian has this:
Labour's election strategy: bring on no-nonsense hard man Gordon Brown
• Campaign posters focus on alpha male personality
• Advisers consider tactic of staged confrontation
• See the election posters here
The Guardian, Thursday 1 April 2010

Labour strategists are considering a billboard campaign portraying Brown as 'a sort of Dirty Harry figure', in the words of one senior aide.

In an audacious new election strategy, Labour is set to embrace Gordon Brown's reputation for anger and physical aggression, presenting the prime minister as a hard man, unafraid of confrontation, who is willing to take on David Cameron in "a bare-knuckle fistfight for the future of Britain", the Guardian has learned.

Following months of allegations about Brown's explosive outbursts and bullying, Downing Street will seize the initiative this week with a national billboard campaign portraying him as "a sort of Dirty Harry figure", in the words of a senior aide. One poster shows a glowering Brown alongside the caption "Step outside, posh boy," while another asks "Do you want some of this?"

etc...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2010 ... n-hard-man
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The trouble with April Fools is that it gives us suspicious minds - we're liable to take a genuine story as a wind-up. Eg
World’s hottest chilli bred in Grantham, Lincs
A chilli bred in the historic market town of Grantham, Lincs has been named as the hottest in the world.
Published: 8:13AM BST 01 Apr 2010

The Infinity chilli is hotter than the Bhut Jolokia chilli, the former record holder, which is used by the Indian military to make hand grenades to immobilise terrorist suspects.

Tests by Warwick University rate the Infinity chilli at 1,067,286 on the Scoville Scale which is used to measure the heat of peppers.

The Bhut Jolokia chilli is measured at 1,041,427. A jalapeño measures just 2,500 to 5,000. Weapons-grade pepper spray is 2,000,000.

The Lincs variety is named Infinity for its "never-ending" burn, which cannot be quelled by even the best antidote, milk, according to The Sun.

Woody Woods, 37, of Fire Foods in Grantham, which grows the chilli, said: "It is like eating red-hot coal.

"To grow such a burning hot chilli in our climate is unbelievable."

He and his friend Matt Simpson, 38, bred the Infinity in a greenhouse by crossing existing varieties and hope to market the seeds later this year.

In 2006 the Dorset Naga, a chilli grown in Dorset, claimed to be the hottest in the world, measuring a Scoville heat unit of 876,000.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstop ... Lincs.html
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Grantham? Home of the Iron Lady? Surely not! :shock:

But a bit of googling shows previous mentions of the Infinity Chilli, eg
http://www.chilefoundry.co.uk/?tag=infinity-chilli

Oh well, back to the papers...
 
Australia kicks off April Fools' Day pranks
David Beckham joining the Australian soccer team? A stapler sending messages to Twitter? It must be April Fools' Day.
Published: 7:00AM BST 01 Apr 2010

In keeping with tradition, media outlets, companies, websites and other jokers in Australia came up with various April Fools' hoaxes that ranged from the ridiculous to the absurd.

Australian pen maker Artline was advertising a new product in newspapers and on its website www.artline.com.au - a pen that remembers everything you write.

"Forget the worry of losing the shopping list or the scrap of paper with that vital name or number on it," read the Artline advertisement. "You can download it all later - as you wrote it, or in the typeface of your choice."

Last year on April 1 the company unveiled a pen with microchip tracking so no one could pinch it.

The website HowStuffWorks.com came up with the "twapler", which is a "stapler that automatically sends a message via Bluetooth or WiFi to a Twitter feed detailing exactly what you're stapling at any given moment".

"Whether you're joining together a research project, tax forms or your divorce papers, the Twapler will send out a message for eager tweeters to revel in."

Australian broadcaster ABC put out a spoof interview with an injured David Beckham in which the former England soccer captain said he was set to join the Australian national team, the Socceroos, as assistant manager and lead them to World Cup glory in South Africa.

Residents of the small Australian town of Murwillumbah woke up to the news in local newspaper the Tweed Daily News that "Avatar" director James Cameron had scouted local rainforests as a location for a sequel to the box-office hit.

April Fools' Day dates back centuries, but its origins remain unclear. A widespread theory is that it dates back to the adoption of the Gregorian calendar with the term April Fool applying to those who were still following the Julian Calendar.

By tradition in most countries, people can pull pranks before noon on April 1 in the name of April Fools' Day but become the fool if they do it in the afternoon.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstop ... ranks.html
 
The most recent of mistaken April Fools' story is, famously, Alan Shearer's appointment as manager of Newcastle Football Club.
In East Kilbride, Scotland a female member of a lottery syndicate of staff at the town's central branch of Ladbrokes told the syndicate they hadn't won £300,000 on the Lottery, when in fact they had - on April first. Whether it was a prank she decided to fulfil, who knows, but she and a neighbour she was having an affair with absconded with the money won, resulting in a protracted court case. This was sometime in the late nineties I think.
 
Try doing a few Google searches today and look at the right to see how long the search took.

Also, quite liked this:

http://googleblog.blogspot.com/2010/04/ ... -name.html

Early last month the mayor of Topeka, Kansas stunned the world by announcing that his city was changing its name to Google. We’ve been wondering ever since how best to honor that moving gesture. Today we are pleased to announce that as of 1AM (Central Daylight Time) April 1st, Google has officially changed our name to Topeka.



We didn’t reach this decision lightly; after all, we had a fair amount of brand equity tied up in our old name. But the more we surfed around (the former) Topeka’s municipal website, the more kinship we felt with this fine city at the edge of the Great Plains.

In fact, Topeka Google Mayor Bill Bunten expressed it best: “Don’t be fooled. Even Google recognizes that all roads lead to Kansas, not just yellow brick ones.”

For 150 years, its fortuitous location at the confluence of the Kansas River and the Oregon Trail has made the city formerly known as Topeka a key jumping-off point to the new world of the West, just as for 150 months the company formerly known as Google has been a key jumping-off point to the new world of the web. When in 1858 a crucial bridge built across the Kansas River was destroyed by flooding mere months later, it was promptly rebuilt — and we too are accustomed to releasing 2.0 versions of software after stormy feedback on our ‘beta’ releases. And just as the town's nickname is "Top City," and the word “topeka” itself derives from a term used by the Kansa and Ioway tribes to refer to “a good place to dig for potatoes,” we’d like to think that our website is one of the web's top places to dig for information.

In the early 20th century, the former Topeka enjoyed a remarkable run of political prominence, gracing the nation with Margaret Hill McCarter, the first woman to address a national political convention (1920, Republican); Charles Curtis, the only Native American ever to serve as vice president (’29 to ‘33, under Herbert Hoover); Carrie Nation, leader of the old temperance movement (and wielder of American history’s most famous hatchet); and, most important, Alfred E. Neuman, arguably the most influential figure to an entire generation of Americans. We couldn’t be happier to add our own chapter to this storied history.

A change this dramatic won’t happen without consequences, perhaps even some disruptions. Here are a few of the thorny issues that we hope everyone in the broader Topeka community will bear in mind as we begin one of the most important transitions in our company’s history:

Correspondence to both our corporate headquarters and offices around the world should now be addressed to Topeka Inc., but otherwise can be addressed normally.
Google employees once known as “Googlers” should now be referred to as either “Topekers” or “Topekans,” depending on the result of a board meeting that’s ongoing at this hour. Whatever the outcome, the conclusion is clear: we aren’t in Google anymore.
Our new product names will take some getting used to. For instance, we’ll have to assure users of Topeka News and Topeka Maps that these services will continue to offer news and local information from across the globe. Topeka Talk, similarly, is an instant messaging product, not, say, a folksy midwestern morning show. And Project Virgle, our co-venture with Richard Branson and Virgin to launch the first permanent human colony on Mars, will henceforth be known as Project Vireka.
We don’t really know what to tell Oliver Google Kai’s parents, except that, if you ask us, Oliver Topeka Kai would be a charming name for their little boy.
As our lawyers remind us, branded product names can achieve such popularity as to risk losing their trademark status (see cellophane, zippers, trampolines, et al). So we hope all of you will do your best to remember our new name’s proper usage:
Finally, we want to be clear that this initiative is a one-shot deal that will have no bearing on which municipalities are chosen to participate in our experimental ultra-high-speed broadband project, to which Google, Kansas has been just one of many communities to apply.
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In the Independant:

Hadron Collider II planned for Circle Line

By Steve Connor

Thursday, 1 April 2010

Cern believes it can build a successor to the Large Hadron Collider (left) within the Circle line (right) by 2020

London Underground is in talks with the European Organisation for Nuclear Research (Cern) about the possibility of using the 23km tunnel of the Circle Line to house a new type of particle accelerator similar to the Large Hadron Collider in Geneva.

Particle physicists believe the existing tunnel can be adapted to take a small-scale "atom smasher" alongside the passenger line at a fraction of the cost of building a new tunnel elsewhere in Europe. They are understood to have approached London Underground with a view to announcing a feasibility study later this year.

Specialist engineers commissioned by Cern have already produced a preliminary report, seen by The Independent, which proposes installing supercooled magnets and collision detectors at strategic positions on the Circle Line. The main collision experiment will be sited at the newly refurbished Westminster Station, directly below Portcullis House, the offices of more than 200 MPs.

Although there are still considerable technical problems to overcome, such as a geo-magnetic "kink" in the circuitry at Edgware Road station, Cern is quietly confident that it will be able to convince London Underground of the merits of the scheme, which should result in the first air-conditioned underground line as a spin-off of installing supercooled magnets below ground.

The idea was initially mooted in the mid-1980s as an alternative site to the 27km tunnel below Geneva but the idea was dropped. Now, with improvements in technology and miniaturisation of the equipment, Cern believes it can build a successor to the Large Hadron Collider within the Circle line by 2020.

It would mean that two beams of protons would be travelling in clockwise and counterclockwise directions at 99.999999 per cent of the speed of light, within feet of Circle line passengers stuck in perpetual immobility.

However, health and safety advisers to London Underground are understood to be concerned about the proposal, and have raised the prospect of a mini black hole being created at Westminster when the two proton beams collide to recreate the conditions of the Big Bang.

A spokesman for London Underground said the proposal is not as foolish as it first seems: "It has merits."

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/scien ... 32744.html
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In the Telegraph:

Ferrets key to bridging the digital divide between cities and rural areas
Specially trained ferrets are being used to deliver broadband to rural areas following groundbreaking techniques used by an Internet provider.

Published: 7:00AM BST 01 Apr 2010

Ferrets have been used by Virgin Media for over a year to help lay cables for its broadband service Photo: VIRGIN
The animals have been used by Virgin Media for over a year to help lay cables for its broadband service, the company has disclosed.

The ferrets wear jackets fitted with a microchip which is able to analyse any breaks or damage in the underground network.

Currently most broadband technologies are limited to short distances from central switching offices so most companies focus on cities to keep costs down.

The government has set a target of universal broadband access of 2Mbps by 2012. Analysts estimate that the cost of running fibre optic cables to all parts of the country could cost anywhere between £10 billion and £25 billion. A 50p levy of every phone line in the country has been proposed to cover costs.

Currently around two million homes, one in 10 households, are without broadband.

Jon James, director of broadband for Virgin Media, said: "For hundreds of years, ferrets have helped humans in various jobs. Our decision to use them is due to their strong nesting instinct, their long, lean build and inquisitive nature, and for their ability to get down holes. We initially kept the trial low-key as we wanted to assess how well the ferrets fitted into our operations before revealing this enterprising scheme."

Ferrets have been used to run cables through hard-to-reach places in the past.

Events organisers in London used them to run television and sound cables outside Buckingham Palace for the wedding of the Prince of Wales and the late Diana, Princess of Wales.

A similar system was used to lay the cables for televised coverage for the Party in the Park concert in Greenwich at the Millennium.

With their long lean build ferrets have historically been sent down holes to chase rodents and rabbits out of their burrows.

Caesar Augustus is thought to have sent ferrets to the Balearic Islands to control the rabbit plagues in 6BC.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstop ... areas.html
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Fats_Tuesday said:
In the Telegraph:

Ferrets key to bridging the digital divide between cities and rural areas
Specially trained ferrets are being used to deliver broadband to rural areas following groundbreaking techniques used by an Internet provider.
Published: 7:00AM BST 01 Apr 2010
Click to expand...
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I wondered about that one myself, but remained unsure! :?
I'm sure I have read of phone engineers using small animals to take a line through underground conduits, but I didn't have time to google up info one way or the other.
 
rynner2 said:
Fats_Tuesday said:
In the Telegraph:

Ferrets key to bridging the digital divide between cities and rural areas
Specially trained ferrets are being used to deliver broadband to rural areas following groundbreaking techniques used by an Internet provider.
Published: 7:00AM BST 01 Apr 2010
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
I wondered about that one myself, but remained unsure! :?
I'm sure I have read of phone engineers using small animals to take a line through underground conduits, but I didn't have time to google up info one way or the other.
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Agreed, could even be a bluff, apart from the photo, but aren't the best April Fools stories the most convincing ones?

On the subject of April Fool bluffs, have you seen today's featured article on Wikipedia?

Link to the article:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wife_selling
 
Airborne Association: Flying to the rescue of stranded motorists, the AA rocketmen
By Ray Massey
Last updated at 9:58 AM on 01st April 2010

Next time you break down on the motorway don't scan the road for the AA van to arrive. Look up in the sky.

The breakdown rescue service is launching a rapid response patrol that will see 'AA Rocketmen' in lightweight jet-packs flitting over traffic jams to reach stranded motorists.

The AA has chosen today, the first day of the annual Easter getaway, to test the service.
It follows a series of secret trials at Dunsfold Aerodrome near Guildford.
Film of the early trials shows patrolmen taking off and landing with pin-point accuracy.

Today's test will be carried out on the M25 between Surrey and Heathrow Airport between dawn and noon.

The Transport Department and the Civil Aviation Authority will then rule on whether the scheme can be extended across Britain later this year. The AA, or Automobile Association, was founded to help motorists in distress.

etc...

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z0jqHbfNBo

:D
 
This arrived in my inbox this morning, I suspect it should be in the April fools thread rather than anywhere else!
:D
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rynner2 said:
Here we are again! Keep your eyes on the media for those weird stories which could, just possibly, be made up... 8)

The Guardian has this:
Labour's election strategy: bring on no-nonsense hard man Gordon Brown


etc...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2010 ... n-hard-man
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Nice one - cheers rynner2 :)

That report apparently by their special correspondent...."Olaf Priol" who also gives us these nuggets;

One tactic being discussed involves provoking a physical confrontation at one of the three ground-breaking TV debates between the candidates. In this scenario, Brown, instead of responding to a point made by Cameron, would walk over from his microphone with an exaggerated silent display of self-control, bring his face to within an inch of the Tory leader's, and in a subdued voice, ask "what did you just say?",
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and

The Brown team... (also) hope they can exploit the so-called "Putin effect", and are said to be exploring opportunities for Brown to be photographed killing a wild animal, though advisers have recommended that weather, and other considerations, mean Brown should not remove his shirt.
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You've just gotta love april fools day!
 
Got this e-mail this morning from Bookview Cafe:

For Immediate Release

The Book View Cafe authors are delighted to welcome our newest author members...the Walking Dead!

With proven staying power, and back lists of books that have never gone away, awards too numerous to mention, these authors will re-energize and re-shape the cafe in ways never before imagined!

In honor of these new additions to the Cafe line up, the Cafe's front page (www.bookviewcafe.com) will be dedicated to the finest work of these authors, newly returned to prominence and the surface of the earth.

"With the internet, print on demand and civilization-ending environmental catastrophy bringing so many exceptional authors back to life, as it were, we saw a real opportunity," said Sarah Zettel, Book View Cafe's Managing Director.

When asked why she decided to rise from the grave to join the ebook revolution and zombie apocolypse, Margaret Mitchell said, "I swore, as God is my witness, I would never go hungry again. With Google Maps to help me find the best concentrations of fresh brains, I can keep that promise."

"The fleeing populace is a moveable feast for a young zombie," adds Ernest Hemingway. "If we can use ebooks to help ensure they have short, happy lives, why the hell not?"

But, as always, it was the father of the modern English language who put it best. Said the Bard:

"Brrraaaaaiiinnnnssss..."
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http://www.bookviewcafe.com/
If you go to the website, you can read all about Austen's zombie rewriting the ending of Mansfield Park.
 
Heard about this on on BBC Radio4, today, from blogger Iain Dale's site.
http://iaindale.blogspot.com/2010/04/exclusive-returning-officers-threaten.html

EXCLUSIVE: Returning Officers Threaten to Strike Over Election Counts

Iain Dale [1st April 2010] 9:38 AM

The row over election night counting threatened to worsen last night, as Returning Officers revolted over Government plans to force them to hold counts on election night itself, rather than the next day.

I can reveal that more than 100 Returning Officers have signed a letter to the Electoral Commission threatening to withhold their services if they are forced to count overnight. They don't use the word, but essentially they are threatening to go on strike! If they carry through on their threats ballot boxes could remain unopened for days if not weeks, and the result of the general election might remain in doubt for some time.

It has emerged that under an obscure piece of legislation passed by Parliament in April 1921, it is impossible to remove a Returning Officer once he or she has been appointed. Only in the event of their death can they be replaced. This means that once the election is called and their appointment is confirmed they have to remain in office and no one else - including the Electoral Commission or the Ministry of Justice - has jurisdiction over the conduct of the poll on the day or the count itself.

Ministers are said to be considering emergency legislation which could be introduced into the Commons next Tuesday and forced through Parliament before it is prorogued on Thursday. This legislation would enable the Electoral Commission to take over the functions of any Returning Officer, who, for whatever reason, was failing to carry out his duties.

I tried to get a comment from the Electoral Commission but they were remaining tight-lipped, as was Jack Straw's special adviser, Mark Davies.

There is even a suggestion that the dispute might even prevent the Prime Minister from announcing the election, as expected on Tuesday. Sources close to Number 10 are saying that the Prime Minister has ordered Jack Straw to get the situation sorted by the weekend but if he is unsuccessful, Downing Street strategists are now looking at having to hold the election on 13th or 20th May. A complicating factor is that the local elections, by law, must take place on 6th May. Parliamentary draughtsmen are looking at whether a clause could be inserted into any emergency legislation to enable the local elections to be delayed until any Thursday between 13 May and 3 June, the last possible date for a General Election.

I will try to get further details during the course of the day.
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Apparently, Jack Straw's adviser, Davies, phoned Dale to tell him he hadn't heard anything about the story. Mission accomplished! :lol:
 
According to Janice Long's show on Radio 2 this morning, her brother Keith Chegwin is performing Norway's entry in this year's Eurovision Song Contest. I nearly believed them, but I was sleepy and it was well done.
 
According to this e-mail I received, 'Moorcock's Miscellany' has undergone something of a makeover today.
Subject: Welcome to Tolkien's Miscellany

Hi all!

After 15 years of hosting multiverse.org focused on the career of Michael Moorcock,
we've gotten bored with the whole thing. Themes like time travel, intersecting
dimensions, multiple existences, soul eating swords, mortals defeating gods (yeah
right), Eternal Champions, and all those other themes are limited in appeal after
all. So we've decided to go in a simpler less wonky direction. We've decided
instead to focus on the works of J.R.R. Tolkien!

So visit us in the forums where you can explore the world of J.R.R. Tolkien!
http://www.multiverse.org/fora/index.php

Your friend,
Bilbo Baggins
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It's an April Fool, I hope. :shock:
 
New app for computer musicians to make tracks sound at least 50 times better:

tppro_box.jpg
 
On 1.4.2010, the sports dedicated daily L'Equipe made its headline with this striking "news" : future finals of the tennis French Open would take place at the Parc des Princes Stadium !
Rather uneasy to watch a tennis match from football stadium terraces !
 
'Alien invasion' April Fools' story angers Jordan mayor

A Jordanian mayor is considering suing a newspaper over an April Fools' Day report saying aliens had landed nearby.

Al-Ghad's front-page story on 1 April said flying saucers flown by 3m (10ft) creatures had landed in the desert town of Jafr, in eastern Jordan.

It said communication networks went down and frightened townspeople fled into the streets.

The mayor, Mohammed Mleihan, said parents were so frightened they did not send their children to school that day.

"Students didn't go to school, their parents were frightened and I almost evacuated the town's 13,000 residents," Mr Mleihan told the Associated Press.

"People were scared that aliens would attack them."

He immediately notified the security authorities, who he said combed the area looking for the aliens. They did not find any.

Al-Ghad's front page piece said the giant aliens had arrived on flying saucers lighting up the Jordanian desert town of Jafr, some 300 kilometres (190 miles) east of Amman.

Moussa Barhoumeh, Al Ghad's managing editor, said the newspaper was simply having some good natured fun on April Fools' Day, and had apologised for any inconvenience caused.

"We meant to entertain, not scare people," he said.

Mr Barhoumeh did not say why Jafr was chosen as the butt of the joke, but the area is notorious for a nearby military base that sometimes hosts US troops for joint training exercises.

Human rights groups claim the base once housed alleged al-Qaida militants, some of whom were transferred from Guantanamo Bay, but Jordan has denied the charge.

While April Fools' Day jokes appearing in the press may be a great British tradition, this is not the case in Jordan, says the BBC's Dale Gavlak in the capital, Amman.

While Egyptians are renowned as the big jokers in the Arab world, able to easily laugh at just about anything, the Jordanians are considered more serious.

Although some are trying to change that perception by hosting a yearly international comedy festival in Amman, for Jafr's mayor, this was clearly one joke that just went too far, our correspondent adds.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle ... 604122.stm
 
on april 1st a radio hobbist blog called five below
carried a story about a receiver that could pick up broadcasts from the past back to Marconis first test in 1901!

to put it in context: recent genuine advances with software defined radio
mean we can record the whole medium wave band and tune it years later as if we were listening live, so with that in mind i imagine that some people could have been taken in by the "time travelling radio" hoax

but of course in reality you couldn't listen to anything before the spectrum-recording techology was invented which was only early 2008
 
April Fools has been and gone and your a fool for carrying on.

April Fools will come again and you're a fool just the same. :D :D :D
 
The art of the perfect prank

As April Fools jokers hatch their plans, what's the secret to a perfect prank, asks broadcaster Toby Amies. And how far do the very best tricksters go in preparing their practical jokes?

This article is not a hoax. I promise you. It's a serious work about the practical joke.

How far would you go to pull off a prank? The dole queue? In 1987, a young British broadcaster called Chris Morris let off helium into the BBC Bristol studio, causing the newsreader's stories to reach a higher and higher pitch. Chris lost his job. And started his career in satire.

Would you risk prison? Pranks are often protests, against unfairness or authority or reality. And protest is increasingly risky in the 21st Century.
As the film director Billy Wilder said: "If you are going to tell people the truth, be funny or they will kill you."
Whether personal or public, the prank has a point to make, but if you're planning on tricking someone, it's best to ensure everyone gets the joke.

Russian Art Collective Voina might have gone furthest in making fun of the unfair. Two of their members went to prison. Russian prison.

Although Voina's manifesto is political, their activities make more immediate (non)sense, from launching live cats at workers in McDonald's to their most notorious "action" - daubing graffiti on a raised bridge opposite the headquarters of the federal security service in St Petersburg, with an enormous, crude phallus that erected every time the bridge did. :lol:

Perhaps inevitably, two Voina members were arrested - not for the abstract insult of the penis but for overturning police cars. Voina's name means "war" and they see themselves as part of another Russian revolution, one that refuses to take the very serious seriously at all, even if it means loss of liberty.
The pranksters have been bailed out of prison by the world's most internationally famous "anonymous" street artist, Banksy.

With its roots in the mythological trickster who mediated between Heaven and Earth - known by many names in many cultures, like Loki, Anansie, Prometheus, Coyote, Eshu or Brer Rabbit - a good prank allows boundaries to be crossed, including the ones between art and crime, or amateur and professional.

When unemployed Mancunian Karl Power became, for a brief moment the 12th man in Manchester United's team against Munich in 2001 by walking onto the pitch at the right moment in the right kit, he turned every fan's fantasy into reality.

But it was the result of two years of careful strategy, he said. "We planned it like a military campaign and brought three United kits with us - red, white and blue." The choice of three kits meant Karl the imposter could blend in with the reality of a Champions League match unnoticed till it was too late.

Legendary American media hoaxer Joey Skaggs has devoted his whole life to the prank. For more than 30 years, Joey's been making up ridiculous lies that get disseminated so far by the mass media we are forced to wonder if the same media might not be fact-checking every other story so closely.

"I am an artist. To me the media is a medium and I create plausible but non-existent realities and I stage for the news media to make social, political, satirical commentary."

Joey simplifies the process as "the hook, line and sinker".
The hook has the bait, a ready-written story, so sexy that a journalist wants it to be true so much they don't bother to check.
The line is a record of the process. Joey uses clippings services and devices like Google alerts help him chart the reach of the hoax. "I watched how the news media would change the intent, content, meaning of the message to suit their own agendas."

Karl Power gatecrashed many sports, including football and Formula One Joey's duped the media into covering an embarrassing number of weird but wonderful stories, from his canine brothel, The Cathouse for Dogs, to his celebrity sperm bank, and probably several other stories that are works in progress that have yet to be revealed.

The sinker is the reveal, the moment when the lights go on and we all realise how easy it is to be fooled.

It's hard work to overturn reality. Joey creates shell companies, puts out official press releases, hires actors, installs dedicated phone lines, whatever it takes to make the false seem real. It's a wonder he hasn't been headhunted by the financial services industry. The prank on his scale is an artform and consequently a mix of inspiration, craft and industry, imagination and talent is needed.

etc...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-12905767

Now you won't believe anything you see in the media tomorrow! 8)
 
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