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Blitz Limericks

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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But should it all come to an end.
It was so nice to know you, my friend.
Wait - we're still here
On this blue and green sphere
This has really sent me round the bend.

***

If the Earth is as flat as some say
And we live on a pancake, we may
 

Recycled1

Justified & Ancient
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If the Earth is as flat as some say
And we live on a pancake, we may
All fancy a nibble
(Maple syrup? Just a dribble...)
Until the ground beneath us gives way.

---------------------------------------
If the earth were really flat
You'd fall off the edge and go splat!
 

INT21

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If the earth were really flat
You'd fall off the edge and go splat!
But, I hear you say
it is far,far away
and to fall off you must be a prat.

But climb to the edge if you must.
And find some safe ledge that you trust
 
Joined
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But climb to the edge if you must.
And find some safe ledge that you trust
If you look down and see
A giant tortoise shell, we
will all have some ideas to adjust


I’ve set out some coffee and juices for
My expected breakfast guest Lucifer
 

Dinobot

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Location
Under the floorboards...
I’ve set out some coffee and juices for
My expected breakfast guest Lucifer
Is hot and steamy
And oh, so dreamy!
So I'll leave him begging for more!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Face all sorts of mutant hurdles!
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Face all sorts of mutant hurdles!
And they want to ban
Limericks that don't scan
Or have the correct number of syllables.

***

Let us now bid farewell to the flies
And insects no matter what size
 

INT21

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Let us now bid farewell to the flies
And insects no matter what size.
if they bite, nip or sting
or flit past on the wing
to avoid them is probably wise.

My brother is like the old pelican
his mouth can hold more than his belly can
 

Recycled1

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My brother is like the old pelican
his mouth can hold more than his belly can
Hold his nose -make him swallow!
Or who knows what will follow -
He might spit it out in that jerrycan.

..............................................................................
If you're short on those social graces
You'll see disapproving faces.
 

INT21

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If you're short on those social graces
You'll see disapproving faces.
Knife in the wrong hand ?
you'll find you'll be banned
from eating in many posh places.

But you'll be welcome at our local chippy
especially on nights that are nippy
 
Joined
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But you'll be welcome at our local chippy
especially on nights that are nippy
Just grab a cold one, see
Andmake yourself comfy
Unless you’re some dope smokin’ hippy


My neighbor is clearly insane
He’s torn down my house with a crane
 

INT21

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My neighbor is clearly insane
He’s torn down my house with a crane
Now the house wrecking thief
is in Tenerife.
Unlikely I'll see him again.

So I'll wait for a while in a shack
With a shotgun, and if he comes back
 

Recycled1

Justified & Ancient
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So I'll wait for a while in a shack
With a shotgun, and if he comes back
I'll fill him with holes,
Hide him down with the moles,
And claim he was first to attack.

Perhaps, on reflection, I'll run!
A sentence in jail won't be fun.
 
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