Blitz Limericks

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
Joined
Aug 24, 2001
Messages
32,159
Reaction score
38,469
Points
309
Location
HM The Tower of London
No all men look good in a kilt
Some just aren't that way built

Dammit.

Try as I might, I can NOT finish this Limerick without straying into quite crass obscenity. :rofl:
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
31,672
Reaction score
18,615
Points
309
No all men look good in a kilt
Some just aren't that way built
They're simply abhorrent
When tartaned and sporraned
And please do not ask them to tilt.

***

While yelling and doing fist pumps
I tried out Olympic-style jumps
 

feen5

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Feb 9, 2004
Messages
1,187
Reaction score
84
Points
79
While yelling and doing fist pumps
I tried out Olympic-style jumps
but its hard to halt
in mid somersault
wearing fishnets and fetching blue pumps

The sight of the ancient Greeks
running about in their bare cheeks
 

IamSundog

Not insane
Joined
Oct 11, 2002
Messages
3,810
Reaction score
1,506
Points
184
The sight of the ancient Greeks
running about in their bare cheeks
and bouncing tits
viewed by staid Brits
elicits many “Oh!”s and “Eeek!”s

Whereas Americans, quite puritanical,
Cloak the subject in metaphors botanical
 

feen5

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Feb 9, 2004
Messages
1,187
Reaction score
84
Points
79
Whereas Americans, quite puritanical,
Cloak the subject in metaphors botanical
and the results
of consenting adults
make their sex appear quite mechanical

'Wearing cloths and hiding ones bits'
Shouts Scargy, 'Its really the pits'
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
31,672
Reaction score
18,615
Points
309
'Wearing cloths and hiding ones bits'
Shouts Scargy, 'Its really the pits'
But the Prince Albert of Feen
Doesn't need to be seen
We don't care how snugly it fits.

***

If these walls could talk, they would say
"We've stared at you enough today!"
 

Peripart

Antediluvian
Joined
Aug 1, 2005
Messages
6,188
Reaction score
4,429
Points
259
If these walls could talk, they would say
"We've stared at you enough today!
"Your disgusting habits
"Are worse than a rabbit's
"For goodness' sake - put it away!"

My technology's spying on me
It knows all that I do, think or see
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
31,672
Reaction score
18,615
Points
309
My technology's spying on me
It knows all that I do, think or see
But I shouldn't moan
Because I'm not alone
It's looking at everyone, tee-hee.

***

I've decided - if the worst comes to worst
At least I'm better off than Fred Durst
 

feen5

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Feb 9, 2004
Messages
1,187
Reaction score
84
Points
79
I've decided - if the worst comes to worst
At least I'm better off than Fred Durst
a diet simplistic
just crumbs of limp bizkit
is a terrible way to be cursed

When casting a simplistic spell
its hard, the results to foretell,
 

ChasFink

Abominable Snowman
Joined
Jan 22, 2016
Messages
535
Reaction score
1,189
Points
139
When casting a simplistic spell
its hard, the results to foretell,
Will you summon a frog?
A razorback hog?
Or all of the Legions of Hell?
_________

Although I am wearing two masks
I'm still doing all of my tasks.
 

IamSundog

Not insane
Joined
Oct 11, 2002
Messages
3,810
Reaction score
1,506
Points
184
Although I am wearing two masks
I'm still doing all of my tasks.
The strain tends to drain
All the blood from my brain
So I snort oxygen from these flasks

My diminished air intake capacity
Seems to dictate compulsory chastity
 

feen5

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Feb 9, 2004
Messages
1,187
Reaction score
84
Points
79
My diminished air intake capacity
Seems to dictate compulsory chastity
my intake of air
is exceedingly rare
and does not lead to making love with vivacity

Its not easy to be ineffectual
during acts of a nature that's sexual
 

IamSundog

Not insane
Joined
Oct 11, 2002
Messages
3,810
Reaction score
1,506
Points
184
Its not easy to be ineffectual
during acts of a nature that's sexual
If you can’t upraise and
Rise to the occasion
Well, you won’t unless you expect you will

It never helps to overthink it
Stop trying! Relax! Shoot and sink it!
 
Top