Christmas Stagecoaches

[JamesWhitehead]

By Dickensian times, the Mail Coach was obsolescent and may have been viewed with rose-tinted specs. The new-fangled fire-belching railway locomotives were a hellish new thing - Dickens himself had a close-escape from an early rail atrocity.

Yet for De Quincey, the English Mail Coach was an object of horror. His meditations and mental fugues on the subject of Mail Coach RTAs are horrid and haunting and can be found in most collections of his essays.

 

[CharmerKamelion]

The one with the giant twelve man humbug?

I believe that thing is the famous Victorian confection of a giant humbug in the shape of a big bar. It was marketed as the 'Bar Humbug' I believe, and popularised by Charles Dickens.

 

[bugmum]

Ah, but cards aren't meant to represent what Christmas actually is, they are meant to represent what we wish Christmas would be. I've got a card with a red squirrel sitting watching horse riders go by. Never seen a red squirrel within 100 miles of my house, but I'd like to. Cards that represented reality would be full of children crying and arguing, red-faced Mum in the kitchen standing over a bubbling saucepan and Dad with a bin liner full of cast off wrapping paper, trying to squeeze it into an overfull bin.

Not very picturesque.

What would have been available if Carl Giles had marketed Christmas cards...

 

[catseye]

In the early hours today I got up and glanced in passing at a mirror. There were tiny bits of glitter stuck to my face.

I noticed they were all flat and angular, hmmm, could it be from when I was cutting out that shiny fabric in my bedroom? I've probably swallowed some.

Trying to resist the urge to say something about you not giving a shiny shit....

 

[catseye]

Nothing to do with Christmas but something a bit more Fortean - the Exeter mail coach attacked by an ABC (OK, an escaped lioness!)

https://salisburyhealthcarehistory.uk/lion-attack-near-salisbury-1816/

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Noting that the lion is attacking the only bay. Perhaps bay horses are the equivalent of Star Trek's redshirts...

 

[Cloudbusting]

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Genuinely one of the best villains of all time! I love the bit where he takes off his rubber glove hat and Wallace says something like 'oh my god, it's you!'

As for xmas decs, I have a pretty eclectic range including the modern animal ones you're all so scathing of... but also some dating back to the 80s, and many handmade ones. Someone recently told me that apparently coloured xmas tree lights are now old fashioned and seen as working class? Well I must be common as muck.

 

[ChasFink]

Glitter. I'm sure it's some form of giant virus.

Unfortunately, I have a friend who does this every year. Actually adds extra glitter into the envelope.
It is now in the carpet forever.

There were tiny bits of glitter stuck to my face.

I believe even Katie Brown, who fills the airwaves with things you can do with construction paper, styrofoam balls, and old plastic flowerpots, says glitter is the herpes of the crafting world.

 

[Frideswide]

As for xmas decs, I have a pretty eclectic range including the modern animal ones you're all so scathing of... but also some dating back to the 80s, and many handmade ones. Someone recently told me that apparently coloured xmas tree lights are now old fashioned and seen as working class? Well I must be common as muck.

We have two slightly different colours of white on an artificial green tree. Our first Christmas together we bought the tree, the lights and three decorations. I made a few more And that was it - every year we've carefully chosen 3-4 more trees ornaments. We now have to choose a theme because they wont all fit on the tree!

This year was Pink. Next year will be cats.

 

[Dinobot]

In the early hours today I got up and glanced in passing at a mirror. There were tiny bits of glitter stuck to my face.

I noticed they were all flat and angular, hmmm, could it be from when I was cutting out that shiny fabric in my bedroom? I've probably swallowed some.

Why do I get the feeling you looked like this?

 

[Erinaceus]

This is what she was supposed to look like though.

 

[Erinaceus]

I had a rummage last night through some greetings cards exchanged between family members and found these. I think they are all from the first half of last century. It would seem that glitter hadn't been invented!

 

[CharmerKamelion]

I had a rummage last night through some greetings cards exchanged between family members and found these. I think they are all from the first half of last century. It would seem that glitter hadn't been invented!

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Lovely. Cards from back when every Christmas was a guaranteed white-out and no-one had central heating but everyone had chilblains. Aaah the nostalgia!

 

[CharmerKamelion]

This year was Pink. Next year will be cats.

That is an excellent choice. I fully approve. The Year of the Cat. We know a song about that. I hope you have enough cat baubles to give the tree good 'ball coverage'. I look forward to you posting the photos in about 11 months time

 

[escargot]

This year was Pink. Next year will be cats.

It's all fun and games until an actual cat gets up there.

 

[escargot]

I had a rummage last night through some greetings cards exchanged between family members and found these. I think they are all from the first half of last century. It would seem that glitter hadn't been invented!

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Proper Little Ice Age vibes there. It was barely out of living memory.

 

[Dinobot]

It's all fun and games until an actual cat gets up there.

No cats were harmed in this post. Sadly....

 

[Ghost In The Machine]

Glitter. I'm sure it's some form of giant virus. Bloody stuff gets everywhere. Open one card with glitter on it and your home is infested for life. You'll open a book in November and there sparkling away at you will be, glitter. I'm sure that if you could collect it all into one place in January it would reflect enough sunlight to offset global warming.
There were some shops selling glitter free cards this year but that doesn't solve the problem of people who send them to you.
There were no racks of penguin free cards though. They are the avian greeting card equivalent of glitter. Remember my warning when Christmas cards are just endless racks of glittery penguins.

I wanted to give my son's girlfriend an xmas card with a frog on (don't ask) and of course, they don't exist. Apparently they were a thing, once.

So I did the next best thing and found a blank card with frogs on then put green glitter all over it, to make it xmassy.

Fast forward to a month later. Still finding green glitter in the kitchen. In the weirdest places.

 

[ramonmercado]

I wanted to give my son's girlfriend an xmas card with a frog on (don't ask) and of course, they don't exist. Apparently they were a thing, once.

So I did the next best thing and found a blank card with frogs on then put green glitter all over it, to make it xmassy.

Fast forward to a month later. Still finding green glitter in the kitchen. In the weirdest places.

I bet you're hopping mad.

 

[Fluttermoth]

It's all fun and games until an actual cat gets up there.

As I do in various places at this time of year, I'll pass on my friend Kate's sage advice; hook or screw in the ceiling, tie the top of your tree to it with string

 

[Tunn11]

As I do in various places at this time of year, I'll pass on my friend Kate's sage advice; hook or screw in the ceiling, tie the top of your tree to it with string

If you have a fairy at the top of the tree you could tie the rope round her neck.

 

[CharmerKamelion]

If you have a fairy at the top of the tree you could tie the rope round her neck.

You could just put the cat on the top of the tree and save it the bother of having to climb up there.

 

[Ghost In The Machine]

I bet you're hopping mad.

It made me want to kermit a hate crime against glitter manufacturers.

 

[Endlessly Amazed]

We have two slightly different colours of white on an artificial green tree. Our first Christmas together we bought the tree, the lights and three decorations. I made a few more And that was it - every year we've carefully chosen 3-4 more trees ornaments. We now have to choose a theme because they wont all fit on the tree!

This year was Pink. Next year will be cats.

Pirates and dancing girls for our tree. After 20 years, we finally retired the tree topper angel which became more drunken and sluttish ever year: crown askew, wings bedraggled, skirt rumpled, etc. I miss her.

 

[CharmerKamelion]

Pirates and dancing girls for our tree. After 20 years, we finally retired the tree topper angel which became more drunken and sluttish ever year: crown askew, wings bedraggled, skirt rumpled, etc. I miss her.

Pirates and dancing girls sounds like a recipe for trouble, if you ask me. As for your retired fairy, I bet she is propping up a bar somewhere, wonky wand in her lap, bumming drinks off strangers and telling them "I usesht to go on top of the Chrishmash tree, y'know....every shingle year.... hic!"

 

[Mythopoeika]

Pirates and dancing girls for our tree. After 20 years, we finally retired the tree topper angel which became more drunken and sluttish ever year: crown askew, wings bedraggled, skirt rumpled, etc. I miss her.

Sounds like she had a good time.

 

[CharmerKamelion]

Sounds like she had a good time.

Sounds to me like she might have been the original "good time had by all".

 

[Tunn11]

Well someone has to do the golden oldie of why the fairy is on top of the tree.

When the tree first arrived at the North pole the fairy took delivery and she asked Santa what he wanted her to do with it. As he was busy all he would say was, "Not now I'm busy." But the fairy kept asking and finally Santa told her, which is why she is now on top of the tree.

I beat Trev to that one.

 

[CharmerKamelion]

Pirates and dancing girls for our tree. After 20 years, we finally retired the tree topper angel which became more drunken and sluttish ever year: crown askew, wings bedraggled, skirt rumpled, etc. I miss her.

Maybe you might like to consider this for next year, EA.....

 

[JaneD]

From years of cycling from work to MK station i feel qualified in pontificating on fashions in twinkling light deccies at Crimble time. We have had multi-coloured, we have had green, we have had icy white. This year we seem to be warm yellowish white. Bear in mind these lights last about 2 years max so there is always a bit of lag in fashion, but i think it fits the need for warmth and comfort in these troubled times

 

[Frideswide]

i think it fits the need for warmth and comfort in these troubled times