• We have updated the guidelines regarding posting political content: please see the stickied thread on Website Issues.

Clowns: Evil Or Funny?

Clowns: Evil or funny?

  • Clowns are evil and out to get you

    Votes: 34 44.2%
  • Clowns are funny and out to entertain you

    Votes: 10 13.0%
  • Clowns are sad blokes trying to make a living

    Votes: 29 37.7%
  • Clowns are a national institution - how dare you imply that they are sinister in any way

    Votes: 4 5.2%

  • Total voters
    77
Meanwhile in the Nice Egomaniac thread...

Forteana Daily Fnord
Terror Clowns Kill Two

Today two, as yet unnamed youngsters, were brutally slain by members of the Terrorist Group known as A'Clown'Ida. Apparently the two were playing in Charles Fort Park when the approached a group dressed as clowns who were trying to get the wheels back on their car. Expecting to be ammused by the Clowns the two were instead mown down with balloons shaped as tommy guns before the Clowns attempted to flee the scene. Valient Mimes managed to trap them inside an invisible box before the police arrived and carted them off into gaol... "Who do those Clowns think they are?" asked one shocked witness. The mimes were said to be "speechless".

War On Clowns
President Calder has approached the UN in an attempt to gain a resolution to go to war against the Evil A'Clown'Ida network...

Breaking News
"Clown Threat Hoaxed", says Pres

Sweeping arrests of members of the right-wing Forteana Corporate Party in the dead of night have uncovered a cream pie factory and revealed the true backers of the A'Clown'Ida Network. "Forteana Gags and Gaffs had created A'Clown'Ida in an attempt to seize control of the governement allong with their Corporate allies," said President Calder in a press satement today, "Those Clowns were just patsys in this evil scheme against the people of Forteana and I'm gald we were able to nip this foul squirty flower in the bud"...
 
Sorry, you can't sue me, I'm a national leader. You could try sueing the Daily Fnord but a doubt it would do you any good...
 
From World Wide Words newsletter:

Weird Words: Coulrophobia
-------------------------------------------------------------------
An irrational fear of clowns.

What, fear those delightful purveyors of slapstick comedy? One may as well go in terror of Santa Claus (but then a few people do that, too). But clown humour has always embraced cruelty in its teasing and insulting of other clowns and members of the audience. Clowns represent anarchy, the personifications of unreason, and a force of nature out of control. Who knows what actually lies behind their unchanging painted faces and outlandish costumes? These are all good enough reasons for even the strongest and most adult of us to feel unease in the presence of a clown.

Some children are terrified by them and a surprisingly large proportion of adults confess to finding them creepy and disturbing, so much so that this word for their condition has had to be invented. It's not old: perhaps from
the 1980s. It's from Greek "koulon", a limb, which seems strange
until you find the related "kolobathristes" was a stilt-walker.
This seems to have been the nearest its unknown coiner could get to a suitable classical allusion, since classic Greek didn't have a word for a clown in our modern sense.
 
And what's the word for a RATIONAL fear, hatred and loathing of clowns?
 
Foul Squirty Fleurs du mal

I suppose it is sensible to hate all clowns equally but I think they
became really unhealthy during the nineteenth and early twentieth
century as they became sanitized and alienating. Before then, their
antics were lewd and recognizably human in their earthiness. Their
masks were a licence to behaive badly. Once they lost this priapic
vitality, they were banished to the nursery with a sneaking suspicion
that they could revert to type at any moment!

Come and sniff my squirty flower, kiddies! :cross eye

By the way, on the Weird New Jersey website - available via FT Links
page - there is the tale of how the folks of one town fought to save
a famous roadside sign, universally known as The Evil Clown.
Truly weird! :eek:
 
Philo T said:
Quite simple, actually:
Clowns are funny because they are evil.

That is a good point. There is no rule saying something evil can't also be funny.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chriswsm - the worlds first stand-up serial killer. You will die laughing or your money back
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
I think it's important to make the distinction between jesters and cl*wns. Jesters are just silly people with three phallic shapes on their head, often hanging around royalty, trying to make them laugh and craving their patronage. Ben Elton, for instance.
But Cl*wns are Cl*wns are Cl*wns.

Something I've been wondering: where do cl*wns go at night? Surely they must sleep? Has anyone seen a cl*wn retiring to a house for the night? Did it have it's own door key? What sort of times does it come and go during the day?

In this politically correct climate, is Tony Blair considering a Cl*wn Amnesty? We must be told.
 
There's an episode of The Avengers called Look (stop me if you've heard this one before) but there were these two fellas... It features murderous clowns galore (including suffocating custard pies and lethal bombs with BOMB written on the side and big fizzing fuses).

It also features evil ventriloquists, evil magicians, evil Punch and Judy and an evil pantomime horse. It is, quite simply, the finest sixty minutes in TV history.
 
It's fantastic. Bernard Cribbins gets stabbed (by a clown). John Cleese gets crushed to death under thousands of eggs...all painted to look like clown faces. They just don't make TV like that anymore.
 
So damned kinky

A sidetrack here, but why was The Avengers so damned kinky?
No-one tried to kill Emma Peel by bludgeoning her to death; she always had to be stripped naked, rubbed in honey and tied up by two fembot-style villainesses, putting up the feeblest of struggles for a karate-kicking bird.
When the programme was re-run in the late 80's, my other half, then a schoolboy, claimed that it gave him quite a lot of "inspiration", if you get my drift.
 
Re: So damned kinky

Hayzee Comet said:
A sidetrack here, but why was The Avengers so damned kinky?
It was the 'Sixties,' the absolute pinnacle of Western Civilisation and the Decade immediately after the Thirties, Forties and Fifties. Gawd! People need a laugh and a good shag, after that lot!
No-one tried to kill Emma Peel by bludgeoning her to death; she always had to be stripped naked, rubbed in honey and tied up by two fembot-style villainesses, putting up the feeblest of struggles for a karate-kicking bird.
I'm afraid, I missed that episode. :(

Though, I did used to have a copy of an 8mm amateur movie, made by German fans, who clubbed together to hire Mrs Peel (Diana Rigg) and had her running around in leather a lot. ;)
 
This is scary...........

Only a small picture but creepy nonetheless.

A clown pumpkin

HHHEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP

I may need to keep all the lights on tonight.
 
Evil:

Ex-clown gets 17 years on child porn charges

By Alan Gomez, Palm Beach Post Staff Writer
Thursday, January 22, 2004


WEST PALM BEACH -- David Deyo already was facing a lengthy prison term after the former clown and Sunday school teacher pleaded guilty to child pornography charges in October.

But on Wednesday, prosecutors requested, and got, a longer sentence for Deyo by arguing that he not only took pictures of juvenile girls, but molested them.

Deyo, formerly known as "Noodles the Clown" and a one-time volunteer at First Presbyterian Church in North Palm Beach, listened as prosecutors laid out his routine. At least twice, they argued, Deyo befriended a single mother, gained her confidence and then molested her daughter. One allegation was made by a Martin County child.

District Judge Daniel T.K. Hurley called Deyo the most dangerous kind of pedophile because of the "surrogate father" role he took with the vulnerable girls, who were 8 and 10 years old at the time of the incidents.

The judge wasted little time in sentencing Deyo to 210 months -- or 17 1/2 years -- in federal prison followed by three years of strict probation.

The probation calls for Deyo, 43, to undergo mental health and sexual offender treatment programs and bars him from communicating with juvenile girls. The probation also prohibits Deyo from working or volunteering at places where he would come in contact with juvenile girls.

Given a last chance to speak, Deyo, who used a digital camera borrowed from his church to take some of the incriminating pictures, called on his religion.

"I am truly remorseful," he said. "To fall from grace is not an enlightening experience. I realize what I've done and I know that my path has changed significantly."

His attorney, Robin Rosen-Evans, said the judge should show leniency for Deyo, who had no criminal history and has two children who also are suffering.

Rosen-Evans also asked Hurley to look at his own classification of Deyo as a pedophile, which she called a mental disorder.

Assistant U.S. Attorney Lothrop Morris differed, arguing for the longest possible prison term. Morris successfully requested a sentencing enhancement based on Deyo's pattern of sexual misconduct with the girls, arguing that "society needs to be protected from people like Mr. Deyo."

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/localn...thursday/local_news_04f0d456a54c0018008c.html
 
There was a case in this town a few decades ago of a decidedly twisted clown (in a way that Im sure many will sympathise with) He hated kids, so he got a job as a party clown so he could beat them up without anyone cottoning on.

(They did, in fact, cotton on after the sixth victim was taken to A+E and all cases were related to him.)

I have never liked clowns, never feared them but always had a marked distaste. Even good old Perriot (who has style) I was never very keen on Santa either. He was always played by the Head at our school fete, and I always used to think it so demeaning that our respected head could play a disreputable weido like Santa.

Many santas, are in fact, nice people like Mr B...why must they do this? is it a secret craving after naughtiness?

(are clowns the same?)
 
I read somewhere that the tee - shirt tugging depressive and ballard singing songwriter Alex Parks of UK TV hit series, Fame School, used to be a clown.

In her next video - I'd like to see her wearing a red plastic nose and a painted smile whilst singing a happy ditty and chucking buckets of paper streamers.

I have also heard that an Italian doktor claims to have impreganted a human woman with a clown embryo.
 
alb said:
I have also heard that an Italian doktor claims to have impreganted a human woman with a clown embryo.
That's. Just...



...EVIL!:cross eye
 
So is it time to quote lyrics from Ogden Edsl's Kinko The Clown yet?

Gawd, I hope not.
 
Clown gettin' ya down?

I've never understood the whole "clowns are evil" thing. I mean, they're just a bunch of guys in make-up. Are you saying that if a guy wears make-up, that makes him evil? Not very PC!:no-no: ;)

As for the question of how anyone could find Pennywise funny (I forget who asked): Well, for one thing, anything by Steven King is laughable. And secondly, the first time I saw the movie I was flipping through channels when suddenly here's this kid in a shower with a clown saying "Bring your friends".:wtf: That's right up there with Ronald McDonald appearing in kids' houses to "make it magic" or whatever.
 
I read a story y'all would like: "The God of Dark Laughter" by Michael Chabon. The premise is that clowns are the remnant of an ancient Armenian cult. It's kind of Lovecraftian.
 
Yeah, like I said....evil.

(still surprised this thread is alive) :blah:
 
Isn't each clown's makeup supposed to be unique. I can remember reading somewhere when I was a kid that each clown would paint his makeup onto a duck's egg and this would be regarded as a kind of copyright and kept somewhere (Clown Headquarters or wherever).

I seem to remember this info was in 'Bunty', where they had a 'factual' section to teach the little girlies something 'useful' apart from drooling over ponies and ballet dancing . . .

Carole
 
Hehe - 'Clown Headquarters'.

Please leave your shoes on the (rather large) doormat. :D

and, OT, why do girlies love ponies and ballet so much?
 
That's also in a Terry Pratchett isn't it?
 
Aye, that's in Pratchett. It's the one about the Night Watch, IIRC.

I did a clown carved pumpkin for Hallowe'en this year, and it was so horrible I scared myself with it. I was very glad when it collapsed in a pile of mould on the compost heap.

Sam
 
Clowns definitely evil BUT also sad men ( and women) trying to make a living

This thread reminds me of somehing I once read in Premiere magazine

You know that bit in Tootsie where he punches the mime?

Apparently (according to a local detective) attacks on mimes are very common in central park

the strange thing is, they never press charges...
 
carole said:
Isn't each clown's makeup supposed to be unique. I can remember reading somewhere when I was a kid that each clown would paint his makeup onto a duck's egg and this would be regarded as a kind of copyright and kept somewhere (Clown Headquarters or wherever).

Is this the bunch you're thinking of?

http://www.clowns-international.co.uk/

The other weird thing about them is that there's actually a "clowns' church" and there's an annual service in memory of Joseph Grimaldi, which everyone attends in full costume.

//www.clowns-international.co.uk/bp/buildpage.cgi?mysql=5
Mod Edit: Dead link. Archived link via The Wayback Machine here: https://web.archive.org/web/2003100...-international.co.uk/bp/buildpage.cgi?mysql=5

This is the eggshell thing:
//www.clowns-international.co.uk/bp/buildpage.cgi?mysql=8
Mod Edit: Dead link. Archived link via The Wayback Machine here: https://web.archive.org/web/2003091...-international.co.uk/bp/buildpage.cgi?mysql=8
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Back
Top