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This made me laugh. A lot.
There is little funnier than the drunken antics of a Judge in a kebab house....................
"Judge accused of police station antics
Martin Wainwright
Wednesday September 24, 2003
The Guardian
A drunken judge who blundered into an argument in a late-night kebab shop sat impassively in the dock yesterday as a court heard a catalogue of bizarre antics after his arrest by police.
Deputy district judge David Messenger called two officers "arseholes", tried to wheedle favours from a desk sergeant, broke a police station alarm bell and refused to stop banging on his cell door on the grounds that he was "a drummer and enjoyed drumming".
Stinking of drink, according to the prosecution at Scarborough magistrates' court, he squared up to one officer and challenged others to prove that they were really police. When asked if he wanted anyone to be informed of his arrest, he replied: "The chief constable of North Yorkshire."
Judge Messenger, 49, was arrested at the Best Kebab takeaway in Scarborough in May, after trying to intervene in an argument in the kitchen. Richard Newbury, prosecuting, told the court that two constables had virtually calmed down a row between the shop owner and three other men, when Messenger lurched in, claiming to be solicitor for one of the group.
He was asked to provide evidence of his connection, but replied instead: "What proof have you got that you are police officers?" Mr Newbury said: "This rather went to confirm their assessment of him, as both officers were in full police uniform and had a fully marked police car outside the door."
The judge denies being drunk and disorderly, wilfully obstructing police officers and doing £188 damage to a cell bell button. He had visited the kebab shop from his home in nearby Valley Bridge Parade, a genteel part of Scarborough sweeping down to the sands of the resort's South Bay.
The court heard that he kept up a catalogue of inventive threats as PC Patrick Millar and PC Mark Whitehouse tried to persuade him to leave the kitchen, walked him out of the shop and finally arrested him in their squad car. He shouted to passers-by: "Tell them I'm a solicitor and a county court judge," told startled kebab customers "this'll cost the police £5,000," and protested, as he vanished into the police car: "I'm not getting put in there by you two arseholes."
Mr Newbury said the tirades had continued at Scarborough police station to such an extent that other prisoners had to be moved to more remote cells, to try to give them a night's sleep.
Judge Messenger, whose county court job frequently involves deciding between irreconcilable versions of events, is to contest the allegations. The trial is expected to continue for up to four days. "
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,3604,1048467,00.html
There is little funnier than the drunken antics of a Judge in a kebab house....................
"Judge accused of police station antics
Martin Wainwright
Wednesday September 24, 2003
The Guardian
A drunken judge who blundered into an argument in a late-night kebab shop sat impassively in the dock yesterday as a court heard a catalogue of bizarre antics after his arrest by police.
Deputy district judge David Messenger called two officers "arseholes", tried to wheedle favours from a desk sergeant, broke a police station alarm bell and refused to stop banging on his cell door on the grounds that he was "a drummer and enjoyed drumming".
Stinking of drink, according to the prosecution at Scarborough magistrates' court, he squared up to one officer and challenged others to prove that they were really police. When asked if he wanted anyone to be informed of his arrest, he replied: "The chief constable of North Yorkshire."
Judge Messenger, 49, was arrested at the Best Kebab takeaway in Scarborough in May, after trying to intervene in an argument in the kitchen. Richard Newbury, prosecuting, told the court that two constables had virtually calmed down a row between the shop owner and three other men, when Messenger lurched in, claiming to be solicitor for one of the group.
He was asked to provide evidence of his connection, but replied instead: "What proof have you got that you are police officers?" Mr Newbury said: "This rather went to confirm their assessment of him, as both officers were in full police uniform and had a fully marked police car outside the door."
The judge denies being drunk and disorderly, wilfully obstructing police officers and doing £188 damage to a cell bell button. He had visited the kebab shop from his home in nearby Valley Bridge Parade, a genteel part of Scarborough sweeping down to the sands of the resort's South Bay.
The court heard that he kept up a catalogue of inventive threats as PC Patrick Millar and PC Mark Whitehouse tried to persuade him to leave the kitchen, walked him out of the shop and finally arrested him in their squad car. He shouted to passers-by: "Tell them I'm a solicitor and a county court judge," told startled kebab customers "this'll cost the police £5,000," and protested, as he vanished into the police car: "I'm not getting put in there by you two arseholes."
Mr Newbury said the tirades had continued at Scarborough police station to such an extent that other prisoners had to be moved to more remote cells, to try to give them a night's sleep.
Judge Messenger, whose county court job frequently involves deciding between irreconcilable versions of events, is to contest the allegations. The trial is expected to continue for up to four days. "
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,3604,1048467,00.html