Courtroom Antics

[GNC]

Woody Allen is gagged in his character's trial in Bananas...

 

[Bigphoot2]

Magic fails to fix broken marriage

Russian man's court win after magic fails to return wife

By News from Elsewhere......as found by BBC Monitoring

• A man in Siberia has won hundreds of thousands of roubles in compensation after magicians failed to make his estranged wife return.
  The man from the city of Omsk, only named as M.E.A. in court documents, was devastated when his wife left him in August 2017.
  But one TV advert made him hopeful: It promised to "return your wife or loved woman", and also remove various types of curse. But things didn't turn out as he had hoped.

etc

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-ne...2GR_5qfcq3O7hVAs5sRkWNth2Hl6WCipC49RSjrNuiias

 

[GNC]

Man, there's some lax advertising standards in Russia, huh?

 

[Tempest63]

Why I want to reclaim the C-word for myself
Judge under fire for using the C-word in court in response to swearing defendant
Thu, Aug 18, 2016, 01:05
Anthea McTeirnan

In this foul-mouthed world there is one word that still has the power to get people hot under the collar. It did in Britain last week, anyway.

John Hennigan (50), who had breached his anti-social behaviour order (Asbo) by using racist language towards a black woman and her two children, told Chelmsford crown court judge Patricia Lynch QC last week that she was “a bit of a c***”.

Judge Lynch replied, with learned accuracy: “You are a bit of a c*** yourself.”

When Hennigan screamed back “Go f*** yourself”, the judge replied: “You too.” (And no, neither of them used asterisks in this exchange).

Hennigan, who reportedly also shouted “Sieg Heil” and banged the glass panel of the dock, was jailed for 18 months. He got an Asbo in 2005 when a swastika was discovered daubed on the front door of his council house. Given the charge in front of Hennigan, and his own linguistic choices, Judge Lynch’s use of base language sounded quite eloquent. She is now a hero in any language.

In spite of her social media hero status, Lynch has incurred the wrath of Britain’s Judicial Conduct Investigations Office, which handles complaints made about judges both in and outside court. The body reported that it had received a number of complaints about the incident. They have not reported if their response will be a Hennigan-inspired “Go f*** yourself” as their verdict is not yet in.

Damage
The “C-word”, as we must refer to it, if only to smuggle it past The Irish Times’ firewall, has been resting outside the firewall of the modern vernacular for a long time.
Never has a four-letter word f***ed with so many heads. No, not even the F-word has done such damage.

In 1796 Francis Grose said the C-word was “a nasty name for a nasty thing”. Almost four centuries later, the Oxford English Dictionary explains the word’s commonest contexts as both “female external genital organs” and as a “term of vulgar abuse”. ...

http://www.irishtimes.com/opinion/w...est&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=news_digest

That is sooo funny...it has made my week!

 

[ramonmercado]

Some Cornish can be a tad touchy.

A barrister at a drugs conspiracy trial has apologised after a juror complained about "degrading and discriminatory" language towards Cornish people.

Defence barrister Ramsay Quaife used the phrase "the Cornish way" three times at Truro Crown Court.

After a juror raised the matter with the judge, Mr Quaife apologised, saying "no offence was intended".

Nine people are on trial in connection with an alleged conspiracy to supply drugs from London to Cornwall.

The man accused of being the ringleader, Jerome Douglas, denies running the drugs operation from his prison cell.

The court heard Mr Douglas knew nothing about it and only spoke to his co-defendants on the phone about matters not related to drugs.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-cornwall-49526049

 

[ramonmercado]

Some judges can be rather demanding.

“After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relatives.” So reads the Oscar Wilde quote that opens a document instructing legal staff on the dietary preferences of Supreme Court Justice Peter Charleton.

The list, thought to be compiled by a member of the judge’s staff called a judicial assistant, offers a brief glimpse into the punctilious life of the staff who work for the State’s great legal minds.

In a two-page excerpt of the section entitled “getting food”, the judicial assistant recommends there are certain staples “that you’ll want to familiarise yourself with, as you’ll be buying these very often”.

“Judge Charleton is very specific that he only wants English Eating Apples. This means only certain varieties will do. The most commonly available ones in Marks and Spencer are Cox’s and Braeburn, so if you can get one of these two do so. You really want to get the thin Orkney oatcakes, specifically, nothing else will do. They only sell these in Fallon and Byrne on Wicklow Street, so make a trip up there about once a month and buy about 7 or 8 packs of them.” ...

“The mackerel that you’ll buy in Marks and Spencer cannot be served as is, but must have its skin removed. Use a flat bladed knife to peel the skin and once you have enough of it prised off from the main part of the fish, you can pull the rest off with your fingers.” ...

https://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/supreme-court-judge-s-very-specific-dietary-choices-outlined-for-legal-staff-1.4084315

 

[EnolaGaia]

This is one strongly single-minded lady.

Woman on trial charged with stealing evidence -- her own gun

A woman on trial for pulling out a loaded pistol inside an Alaska bar last year faces new charges after authorities say she stole the gun from an evidence box inside the courtroom.

Tiffany Flenaugh, 29, was jailed Tuesday on new charges of felony theft, possessing a firearm in a courthouse, evidence tampering and violating conditions of release, the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner reported. ...

Flenaugh was arrested on Oct. 21, 2018, at a downtown Fairbanks bar and charged with assault, weapons misconduct and resisting arrest. A bartender concluded she was intoxicated and refused to serve her. Prosecutors say she pulled out a .45-caliber handgun, waived it around, fought with three bouncers and fought with police officers who responded.

At the trial Tuesday, Flenaugh’s unloaded pistol had been introduced as evidence and secured with a zip tie, Alaska State Trooper Sgt. Chuck Inderrieden said. The gun was in an evidence box near the judge’s bench.

During a break in the jury trial, only Flenaugh, a prosecutor and a clerk were in the courtroom.

Witnesses say Flenaugh approached the evidence box and reached for it until the assistant district attorney told her to stop.

Flenaugh left the courtroom and walked outside. Police say she carried out the gun and hid it in snow.

Meanwhile, the prosecutor and the clerk looked in the evidence box and discovered that the gun was missing. They alerted judicial services officers, who called police.

Police arrested Flenaugh as she tried to re-enter the courthouse.

SOURCE: https://apnews.com/4df80aa80bac456dba2b449a5c27a5d1

 

[Shady]

Well they were useless then :facepalm:

 

[EnolaGaia]

The drawn-out aftermath of what seems to have been a notably nasty divorce has motivated one of the parties to formally request a trial by combat ...

Man asks judge’s leave for sword battle with ex-wife, lawyer

A Kansas man has asked an Iowa judge to let him engage in a sword fight with his ex-wife and her attorney so that he can “rend their souls” from their bodies.

David Ostrom, 40, of Paola, Kansas, said in a Jan. 3 court filing that his former wife, Bridgette Ostrom, 38, of Harlan, Iowa, and her attorney, Matthew Hudson, had “destroyed (him) legally.” The Ostroms have been embroiled in disputes over custody and visitation issues and property tax payments.

The judge had the power to let the parties “resolve our disputes on the field of battle, legally,” David Ostrom said, adding in his filing that trial by combat “has never been explicitly banned or restricted as a right in these United States.”

He also asked the judge for 12 weeks’ time so he could secure Japanese samurai swords. ...

FULL STORY: https://apnews.com/44eb0a6aa2b2e5b9ee28e3ec00f3f3fb

 

[escargot]

From today's Times -




This is written quite humorously and I did laugh very hard at it! but it's actually a serious human rights issue.

Here's a news report about it on YouTube -

Papuans on trial in Indonesia 'forced' to remove penis gourds

Two Papuan activists on trial for treason in Indonesia's capital Jakarta decried what they described as "racism" after a court on Monday ordered them to remove penis gourds that they defended as traditional dress. It is the second time their native garb has led to delays in a trial implicating a total of six activists.

If you google image search 'penis gourd' you get photos of the protesters and it's funny all over again!