I'm beginning to feel as if the situation has slowed me down.
I'm lucky, I've not had Covid - despite an In House GP, and the fact that the Junior Medic was on the Infection Control ward for the first 6 months of last year, and because he is a single person living on his own we are his support bubble - which is probably helped by living in Exeter, where rates have not been as high as elsewhere. It's not so easy to carry out scientific research at home, so when we were basically banned from campus in March, I spent two months desperately rooting around for things to do (got my latest protocol published in the end) before they finally decided to furlough us in May. At that point, I had the Teenager off school, although I didn't need to be involved in home schooling as she has her own laptop and is pretty conscientious about doing work, and Son No 2 was on a leave of absence from Uni, though incredibly hacked off that he couldn't (a) go to the gym and (b) earn some dosh over at Sandy Park stadium. I was doing fine - took up morning yoga, found some home workouts that I liked on YouTube, went walking with the Teenager, made bread, read books.
Then in September I was allowed back to work - I'm currently 0.6FTE anyway - and whilst my boss didn't have any pertinent suggestions as to what I was doing, I found things to occupy in the time that I could book in the lab. The Teenager went back to school - although she ended up self-isolating twice - and Son No 2 went back to Uni. Things felt a bit more normal. I was still doing fine.
Come lockdown number 3, and I suddenly feel as if I'm stagnating. My yoga and exercise motivation has crumbled. I'm still allowed to go into work, but walking between the car park and the building , I find my knees are aching, and climbing the multitude of stairs to our penthouse lab whilst wearing a face mask is an exercise in torture. My ability to nod off is scary - I'm not quite 50, but five minutes in front of a scientific paper online and I'm fighting my eyelids. Walking with the Teenager, I find that she is outpacing me on upward slopes. It's like being in a permanent state of lethargy, and not helped by the feeling that I need to remain bright and positive because the In House GP is brought low by January and February, his least favourite months.
Anyway, I'm sorry. I have a roof over my head, enough to eat, I haven't lost anybody to this grim disease, so I have much to be thankful for. I just can't help feeling as though I've lost a piece of me over the last year and I don't know where it's gone!