Believe it or not I managed to go out yesterday. I lasted a little over 2 months without leaving my apartment. I did order take out four times. It was expensive, but I justified it somehow.
So, I get in the car and it won't start. It had been over 2 months. I get the auto club to give me a boost. He told me not to shut it off for at least one hour. Then I couldn't get the wiper fluid to work. The windows were seriously filthy. They had been covered in snow and ice and then after that melted there's still the fact that I live in a busy area and the dirt was so caked on that I could not drive it. I took the jug of fluid and paper towel to it. I only did enough area so that it was safe to drive and then took it to a gas station 30 minutes away and used the supplies they have there. The reason I went to that one was because it had a bunch of different shops all in one place. I lived in that area for 12 years. It used to be a mall, but even though it isn't any longer, there are still plenty of shops there.
When I was finished, I was too tired to shop. As I was about to get back in the car, there was a man washing his windows and he gave me a nod. I asked him if he would take a look and tell me where the fluid comes out so I could unplug the holes. He showed me and then I can't remember why but I tried a different lever on the handle and fluid cam flying out.

That's okay though because I had to keep the car running for an hour to charge up the battery anyway. The guy was so good looking that I almost told him so. Then I guess the boost from the auto club gave my electric window motor a boost as well because it had not worked properly and now it does. I went to McDonald's and then home.
Today, I wanted to go shopping but did not have the strength. So, again had McDonald's and came home. Then, at 9:00pm, I decided to go to Safeway (grocery store) I was just going to get stuff for breakfast but I got enough for at least 2 weeks. There was no shortages of anything in the store. All the shelves were stocked and I got a huge bag of 30 triple roll rolls of toilet paper.
I'm going to the big store (Costco) tomorrow if I can find the energy again. I can't remember exactly what I did but I do remember dropping something really heavy on my foot. Pretty sure I broke a bone or two. It was really difficult to get my boots on.
It will be above 0 here for two more days that's a big change from -42. I hope to get fully stocked by then and I also got a bunch of advise on what to get for computer supplies from a guy on another forum I used to frequent. It shut down too, sort of. lol
I don't know where this boost came from that has brought me back to life, but I hope it lasts long enough for me to get everything done.
I was watching "Irish people try..." clips on youtube and Dermot said, "As long as you're not hurting anyone, do whatever makes you happy." For some reason, that hit me big time and I am going to try to do that because even though I come across as a happy go lucky person most of the time.... I don't remember a time in my life where I put myself first. I don't ever remember being truly happy. There are situations where I had a good time and felt happy in the moment, but I have never really felt like I have lived a happy life or even had a few years of true happiness. I'm going to try to take his advice. It isn't easy to do. I have to keep reminding myself several times a day that it's okay to be happy and do what I want.
I"m turning 62 in a couple of months. It's now or never.