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Day Of The Animals: Tales Of Man Vs Beast (And Man Suffers)

Casserole for about 3 hours, plenty of red wine in the stock. That'll do it.
Also, drinking red wine for the 3 hour wait will soften you up.
 
We don't seem to have a thread on animal crime, so I'll put it here ...

This Ant Attempted the World's Tiniest Diamond Heist
A New York City gem dealer didn't need the long arm of the law to catch a recent would-be diamond thief — the bandit traveled only a few feet from the scene of the crime, and measured just a fraction of an inch in length.

The perpetrator of what is probably the world's tiniest diamond heist was an ant, and its daring caper took place in plain sight. Not only was the theft detected within moments; the ant's antics were captured in a videothat quickly went viral after it was posted to YouTube on Aug. 7.

In the video clip, piles of very small diamonds can be seen on a desk blotter. The camera zooms in and focuses on an unusual flurry of activity near a corner of the blotter, revealing an ant hurrying away with a diamond grasped firmly in its mandibles. At the very least, the determined insect deserves points for its confidence — the diamond appears to be nearly as big as the ant's own body....

For about 47 seconds, the camera follows the ant as it carries its glittering prize across the table. Sometimes the ant forges forward with the diamond, and sometimes the insect reverses direction and drags the diamond behind it. ...

FULL STORY: https://www.livescience.com/63383-ant-stealing-diamond.html

VIDEO (YouTube):
 
FCI Dog dance World Championship 2016 – Freestyle final - Lusy Imbergerova and Deril (Italy)

 
That looks like a lightning strike. Poor thing!
Many large forest fires occur in the northern boreal forest of Canada and Alaska. Don't here so much about them on the media due to the fact that these areas are very sparely inhabited. Perhaps the animal barely managed to get away form one.
 
A man's hand is severely injured while trying to move - persuade a large alligator off the road. People's foolishness concerning large - dangerous animals can be incredible. This guy is lucky to get away with just a mutilated hand.

Crocodilians can move at speeds up to ~ 20 mph on land for short burst. Stay more than 20+ feet away and leave the these Frickin beast alone.

 
Warning : Horny Dolphin!

A mayor on the north-west coast of France has ordered a halt to swimming and diving on local beaches because of potential risks from a rutting bottlenose dolphin.

For weeks the dolphin, nicknamed Zafar, has been entertaining children near the Breton city of Brest and swimming with bathers and kayakers.

But officials are worried the dolphin is seeking close contact with swimmers.

Mayor Roger Lars said a number of bathers had been scared.

"I issued this ban to protect people's security," said the mayor of Landévennec.

The 3m (10ft) dolphin had initially delighted locals, swimming with water sports enthusiasts in Brest harbour, but it had since moved south to his village of 300 people.

According to Le Telegramme website, the dolphin had not been aggressive but had rubbed up against boats and swimmers alike, even in shallow waters.


https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-45319658
 
This video is self explanatory .. I could watch this dog all day

 
Man's penis stung by stingray while swimming in the sea
- and creature is still attached when help arrives


A barb from the stingray's tail hooked onto his genitals and was still attached when emergency services reached him


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If you need more (and can stomach The Mirror):
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/mans-penis-stung-stingray-swimming-13197106
 
Any idea why he was flapping his penis about near a fish?
 
Any idea why he was flapping his penis about near a fish?

He'd been drinking a lot of water due to the heat prior to swimming & was urinating in the sea when the stingray happened along your honour.
 
So Dolphins have trends. They'll be doing duck faces on snapchat next.

A Once-Captive Dolphin Has Introduced Her Friends to a Silly Trend
“What we had here was an example of dolphin culture being established.”

In 1995, a bottlenose dolphin named Billie leaped from the water of Port River, Australia, and began “tail-walking” in circles around Mike Bossley’s boat. Her tail was pumping vigorously, her snout was pointed to the sky, and her body was in the air and moving backward. “It was spectacular,” recalls Bossley, a naturalist and conservationist. “But I didn’t appreciate the significance of it until she started doing it again and again.”

Up until that point, a wild bottlenose dolphin had never been seen tail-walking, and for good reason: It’s a trick that’s taught to dolphins in captivity. Bossley soon realized that Billie had not only learned the trick during a brief stint in dolphin rehab, but that she had then passed it on to her wild peers. “What we had here was an example of dolphin culture being established,” he says. “I got very excited and focused on documenting it.”

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/09/dolphins-tail-walking-trend/569314/

PS: I just read that the Duck Face is over, and now it's the Fish Gape. Which might suit the Dolphins better anyway.
 
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He's never going to live that down, It would make an interesting chat up line though.

I don’t know if chat up lines will be relevant in his future, dependent on the number of...perforations...he’s developed.

As to urination in the future I’d suggest that he seeks urgent advice, not from a doctor but from a flute player. (Hat tip to Billy Connolly).

maximus otter
 
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Stray dog is ‘assistant’ to head coach of football team in Paraguay

‘Tesapara’ has become an “assistant” to the head coach, Carlos Saguier, and rarely leaves his side – standing in his technical area during matches and even attending training.

“Tesapara is the guardian of the club,” Saguier told the Paraguayan newspaper Crónica. “She lives there – when the gates close she is fierce, but by day she is friendly. She accompanies me on the pitch, in the corridors, in the office.”

The stray animal was seen around the club’s Monumental Río Parapití ground before Saguier arrived, but became the head coach’s “companion” when he offered her a piece of an empanada, a pastry popular across South America. “She has been by my side ever since,” Saguier added.

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