Don't Stick Ice Lollies Up Your Fanny

LordRsmacker

Abominable Snowman
Joined
May 1, 2006
Messages
663
Likes
443
Points
79
#32
Well, because of you barstewards I have been forced into trolling the net to bring you this... (NSFW)

https://tacit.livejournal.com/208807.html

You lot are a terrible influence ;)
Yeah, sure, you were totally vanilla before you came here. Just like a Mini Milk.

The Devil's penis was supposed to be like a block of ice, according to the testimony of witches in the Middle Ages, but can't find anything about whether riding it was a pleasure or not.
Apparently licking it was bad because their tongue would stick to it.

I made that last line up.
 

Dick Turpin

Ephemeral Spectre
Joined
Mar 28, 2018
Messages
339
Likes
1,306
Points
134
#33
Twister: Ribbed for your pleasure.

;)

maximus otter

I missed that article in the Metro yesterday but read about on here, so when I got home from work last night I thought I’d warn the missues about doing it. But I said if you did what would it be..? ;)

The slap I received sent my glasses flying right across the kitchen.!!!
 

LordRsmacker

Abominable Snowman
Joined
May 1, 2006
Messages
663
Likes
443
Points
79
#34
I missed that article in the Metro yesterday but read about on here, so when I got home from work last night I thought I’d warn the missues about doing it. But I said if you did what would it be..? ;)

The slap I received sent my glasses flying right across the kitchen.!!!
You mentioned Jubblies, didn't you?
 

Dick Turpin

Ephemeral Spectre
Joined
Mar 28, 2018
Messages
339
Likes
1,306
Points
134
#37
You are going to need new glasses soon if you keep on along that track! And teeth, I imagine.

She done my teeth back in 2011Lord, now she thinks buying me a tube of Fixodent every Christmas is a hilarious joke.

My own fault, shouldn’t have gotten married to the daughter of an East end prize-fighter should I.
 

Dick Turpin

Ephemeral Spectre
Joined
Mar 28, 2018
Messages
339
Likes
1,306
Points
134
#43
You did though, to strangers.
I get the feeling I have offended your sensitivities scargy, sorry ‘bout that, however if I thought for one second that the wife would be offended by my post then I wouldn’t have posted it. Simples.
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
Joined
Aug 24, 2001
Messages
26,480
Likes
23,663
Points
309
Location
HM The Tower of London
#45
I get the feeling I have offended your sensitivities scargy, sorry ‘bout that, however if I thought for one second that the wife would be offended by my post then I wouldn’t have posted it. Simples.
I'm not personally offended, it wasn't my vagina you were slagging off. Just your own partner's. To strangers. Can't imagine my other half saying that about me.
 

Naughty_Felid

No longer interesting
Joined
Mar 11, 2008
Messages
6,171
Likes
6,811
Points
294
#47

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
28,143
Likes
13,100
Points
284
#49
I wonder what Mr Jagger and Ms Faithful would make of the Mars Ice Cream?
They probably think it's tasty, because the story you're referring to was invented by some dodgy coppers in an attempt to discredit them.
 

maximus otter

Recovering policeman
Joined
Aug 9, 2001
Messages
5,008
Likes
9,229
Points
309
#53
They probably think it's tasty, because the story you're referring to was invented by some dodgy coppers in an attempt to discredit them.
l’ve read several articles concerning the drugs raid, including Snopes, and none of them implies that it was a copper who made up the Mars bar story.

l’d love to read your source.

maximus otter
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
Staff member
Joined
Jul 19, 2004
Messages
13,689
Likes
16,026
Points
309
Location
Out of Bounds
#54
Is that how you talk about your partner?
{Ahem ... } I feel ethically obligated to ask in return:

"Isn't that the way you talk about your ex?"

For example ... Just now, while doing salvage work in the archives, I ran across a post in which you cited your "ugly rancid-smelling" ex. And we all know that's not an isolated example.

Just sayin' ...
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
28,143
Likes
13,100
Points
284
#55
l’ve read several articles concerning the drugs raid, including Snopes, and none of them implies that it was a copper who made up the Mars bar story.

l’d love to read your source.
A woman called Marianne Faithfull.
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
28,143
Likes
13,100
Points
284
#56
{Ahem ... } I feel ethically obligated to ask in return:

"Isn't that the way you talk about your ex?"

For example ... Just now, while doing salvage work in the archives, I ran across a post in which you cited your "ugly rancid-smelling" ex. And we all know that's not an isolated example.

Just sayin' ...
Escargot has made it abundantly clear her ex was a nasty piece of work, but I doubt Mr Turpin's wife is.
 

maximus otter

Recovering policeman
Joined
Aug 9, 2001
Messages
5,008
Likes
9,229
Points
309
#57
A woman called Marianne Faithfull.
“Exactly when and how this rumor got started is unknown, although it was already circulating by the time of the trial in June. Faithfull herself said she first heard the story from Mick (who had himself heard it from another prisoner) while he was incarcerated at Wormwood Scrubs shortly after the trial.”

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/a-mars-bar-fills-that-gap/

"How the Mars bar got into the story, I don't know," [Keith] Richards recalled.”

https://culturacolectiva.com/music/rolling-stones-mick-jagger-marianne-faithfull-mars-bar

l believe it’s the heterosexual equivalent of the “[Name of pop star] had his stomach pumped and it contained 1/3/5/8 pints of spooge” anecdote: Source undetermined and untraceable; probably fabricated by a tabloid journalist.

maximus otter
 

Dick Turpin

Ephemeral Spectre
Joined
Mar 28, 2018
Messages
339
Likes
1,306
Points
134
#58
Escargot has made it abundantly clear her ex was a nasty piece of work, but I doubt Mr Turpin's wife is.
Just to put this to bed if I may.
Scary bless her mistook my post as being nasty or vindictive, when nothing could be further to the truth. It was just my attempt at laddish humour in what Is a jokey thread.

And yes GNC, my wife is a incredible human being, a fantastic mother to our children and a loving caring partner.

I consider my self to be a very lucky man and thank the lord each morning when I wake up beside her.

I showed my wife my post and she burst out laughing - she shares my somewhat wicked sense of humour (thankfully) :)
 
Top