Dreaming Of The Dead

[Schrodinger's Zebra]

For a short while after my father died, I would have dreams where he would be there, and I would say to my mother, who was also in the dream, that "I thought he was dead". Curiously (or perhaps not!) I don't recall ever actually talking to him in the dream, asking him why he was there if he was dead. Just saying it (almost as a whisper) to my mother, while he was somewhere in the background.

I assumed it was my subconscious, though, because in real life I had not been given the opportunity to say goodbye as it were, so there was probably a genuine lack of fully understanding that he was dead, that manifested itself into my dreams (I was but a teenager at the time).

 

[Tapeloop]

Was wondering if there was a thread like this and up it pops today.

I had a very similar dream to some of these older posts. My ex-girlfriend died of cancer last year at quite a young age (mid 40s). Now, I hadn't seen her in some time and I didn't go to her funeral which made me feel quite bad. So, about a week after her funeral I dreamt that we met and she was telling me she was feeling fine now and everything was okay and she sent her love. Then she hugged me and I woke up. After that I've never dreamt about her at all.

I guess she was obviously on my mind at that time, but she wasn't a regular in my dreams before that. I wonder if that's a kind of archetypal dream designed to make us feel better when we lose someone?

 

[escargot]

I wonder if that's a kind of archetypal dream designed to make us feel better when we lose someone?

Yup, that's what I think too. It's our subconscious taking control and telling us things are OK, considering.

 

[Dwain Pipe]

An old friend of mine died suddenly last year at the very young age of 39 leaving behind a wife and 2 sons aged 5 & 2. Very, very sad. We all found it very difficult to come to terms with and it just didn't make sense that such vibrant energy could just disappear so suddenly. Some months later I had a dream that I was alone in a darkened cinema. The screen was pitch black when my friend slowly came into focus on the screen. He very simply said "I'm alright pal" before melting back into the blackness. It was the way he said it that affected me. He said it in a manner that was accepting of the situation but very sad about it. I can't say that the dream provided any comfort at all.

 

[catseye]

I had a traumatic dream about my parents last night.


At first we were sitting chatting in an idyllic garden setting. I was with some other people, and they and my mum had headed back to the car to leave. I was sitting with my dad, who looked younger and healthy. He suddenly slumped and began talking nonsense, I knew he was probably having a hypo attack (he was diabetic in his last years), so I tried to get him to eat some sugar, whilst cursing the fact that everyone had gone off and left me to manage getting him to the car.

Next we were in a hospital like setting, my mum was in a bed and I was trying to get my dad in next to her. She was completely compos mentis (she died with dementia) and criticising the horrible orange and purple swirly fabric that she was wearing - apparently it was designed by midwives(!?). I sort of picked my dad up and tucked him in next to her, he pulled the cover right up over his head and I sort of patted it and said 'I love you', but I was crying and knew that his mind had gone and I'd never hear him say my name again.

It was hugely upsetting, in contrast to my recent, very peaceful, dreams of my parents, but just about the first time that I have dreamed about them both together. (The being under the cover and patting him I put down to when the dog snuggles on the sofa next to me, she lies under the throw and I have to sort of pat her through the fabric...).

I'm not quite sure why I was so upset about him not saying my name again - he very rarely used my name anyway! And about my crying he'd have just said, rather awkwardly, 'don't take on so...'

So not really sure what it was all about. But it's nice to be able to document it, so I don't forget. Posthumous encounters through dreams are all I have now, so it's 'staying in touch' in a way...

 

[Lizard King]

That sounds very distressing for you Catseye and can be a hard to shake off that type of feeling.I hope you continue to get comfort from more peaceable dreams. I have a mix of very happy and very sad dreams of my brother who died 3 years ago. Like you ,encounters through dreams are all I have now also.

 

[PeteS]

I had a traumatic dream about my parents last night.


At first we were sitting chatting in an idyllic garden setting. I was with some other people, and they and my mum had headed back to the car to leave. I was sitting with my dad, who looked younger and healthy. He suddenly slumped and began talking nonsense, I knew he was probably having a hypo attack (he was diabetic in his last years), so I tried to get him to eat some sugar, whilst cursing the fact that everyone had gone off and left me to manage getting him to the car.

Next we were in a hospital like setting, my mum was in a bed and I was trying to get my dad in next to her. She was completely compos mentis (she died with dementia) and criticising the horrible orange and purple swirly fabric that she was wearing - apparently it was designed by midwives(!?). I sort of picked my dad up and tucked him in next to her, he pulled the cover right up over his head and I sort of patted it and said 'I love you', but I was crying and knew that his mind had gone and I'd never hear him say my name again.

It was hugely upsetting, in contrast to my recent, very peaceful, dreams of my parents, but just about the first time that I have dreamed about them both together. (The being under the cover and patting him I put down to when the dog snuggles on the sofa next to me, she lies under the throw and I have to sort of pat her through the fabric...).

I'm not quite sure why I was so upset about him not saying my name again - he very rarely used my name anyway! And about my crying he'd have just said, rather awkwardly, 'don't take on so...'

So not really sure what it was all about. But it's nice to be able to document it, so I don't forget. Posthumous encounters through dreams are all I have now, so it's 'staying in touch' in a way...

Ahh bless Catseye. Hope you find some peace in future dreams.

 

[IbisNibs]

 

[Spudrick68]

I hope that you shake off the feeling soon.

 

[gattino]

Interesting all these accounts of dead parents denying - or being told - they're dead. I can't recall if I've already mentioned it in this thread but one of the earliest online conversations I remember having on the subject of ghost's etc on a social forum was a young man who report, as best as I can recollect it, the following.

He was awake and sitting up in bed in the morning. The door opened. And there was his deceased mother standing there, looking unhappy. What's wrong? He asked. I'm sad, she said..."because you think I'm dead".

Despite any clues in the bed setting and his lack of panic, he was adamant he was wide awake and remained so.

This line "you THINK I'm dead" is so suggestive of a discarnate personality frustrated at their inability to convey the reality of their survival that it's always stuck in my mind.

 

[gattino]

This line "you THINK I'm dead" is so suggestive of a discarnate personality frustrated at their inability to convey the reality of their survival that it's always stuck in my mind.

Reading my own sentence back there it strikes me as relatable to the incident i reported on here last year. Having directly addressed a photograph of my deceased mother, suggesting it would be nice to have some kind of new spooky incident to confirm survival and that all this stuff is real, the next morning i discovered an inexplicably retained 7 or 8 year old scrap of paper bearing (in my writing) the words "I keep asking you as loudly and clearly as I can if you can hear me, but you just keep staring at me like you can't"

 

[HamandCheeseSandwich]

I dreamt about my Nana a couple of times after she passed away.

One time at a flea market type thing and once she was driving a green Land Rover (she couldn’t drive in life!).

At first it was just normal to have her in my dreams, talking to her etc. But then in both dreams, suddenly I remembered that she was dead. Both times I got really confused and didn’t want to talk to her, as if I didn’t want to remind her she was dead at that point I got a bit creeped out and woke up.

It was still comforting to see her though, she was mad and loved a vodka!

Andrew

 

[IbisNibs]

A few nights ago I dreamed of a cat of mine that died 20 years ago. This happens from time to time, and I'm always happy to see her. For the first time that I recall, I realized in the dream that she was dead. It still felt normal to see her, but meant that it was a "bonus" to see her.

 

[littlebrowndragon]

I regularly interpret my dreams. Sometimes I dream of people who are dead e.g. my parents, or dead pets such as my cats.

If I have a dream about my father, then I think about what aspect of his character, or his relationship with me, the dream might be highlighting. This often is the key to the dream interpretation. I haven't had any dreams featuring either of my parents for a while so it's difficult to give an example of what I mean.

However, to my father. He was a real tease. He would promise us, his children, things but would eventually back down and laugh at us for believing him. E.g. when I was young I was horse daft. My father loved to tease me by telling me he'd bought me a horse. Of course I got really excited at this news. Eventually, though, he'd tell me that he hadn't really bought me a horse. When he'd finally reduced me to tears of disappointment, he'd laugh at me and humiliate me for having believed him.

So, when my father appears in a dream, I explore the idea that the dream might be referring to a current day issue with trust that might be relevant to me. Of course, there were other aspects of my father's character that I might also explore in attempting to interpret the dream. The characteristic I gave above was merely an example but nonetheless is one which has come up fairly frequently in my dreams. My father had both positive and negative aspects to his character so I explore all sides until I find one which seems to connect with issues that are current in my life.

 

[dr wu]

The last few years I regularly dream of dead relatives...mostly my mom, dad, and brother....but sometimes others.
They are never nightmares but some of them are downright weird.

 

[AnonyJ]

I regularly interpret my dreams. Sometimes I dream of people who are dead e.g. my parents, or dead pets such as my cats.

If I have a dream about my father, then I think about what aspect of his character, or his relationship with me, the dream might be highlighting. This often is the key to the dream interpretation. I haven't had any dreams featuring either of my parents for a while so it's difficult to give an example of what I mean.

However, to my father. He was a real tease. He would promise us, his children, things but would eventually back down and laugh at us for believing him. E.g. when I was young I was horse daft. My father loved to tease me by telling me he'd bought me a horse. Of course I got really excited at this news. Eventually, though, he'd tell me that he hadn't really bought me a horse. When he'd finally reduced me to tears of disappointment, he'd laugh at me and humiliate me for having believed him.

So, when my father appears in a dream, I explore the idea that the dream might be referring to a current day issue with trust that might be relevant to me. Of course, there were other aspects of my father's character that I might also explore in attempting to interpret the dream. The characteristic I gave above was merely an example but nonetheless is one which has come up fairly frequently in my dreams. My father had both positive and negative aspects to his character so I explore all sides until I find one which seems to connect with issues that are current in my life.

I am so sorry you had those experiences when you were a child. If I'd been your mum I'd have taken you horse riding

 

[littlebrowndragon]

I am so sorry you had those experiences when you were a child. If I'd been your mum I'd have taken you horse riding

Thank you. I do regard all experience as part of "life's rich tapestry". (Tennyson: "Yet all experience is an arch wherethro' Gleams that untravell'd world whose margin fades For ever and forever when I move".) My father supplied many experiences - good and bad - about which I have absolutely no regrets. One of the best of these was spending much of my childhood on boats. This because my father, rather than being horse daft, was boat daft.

Funnily enough, my mother did take me horse riding. Actually, her sister, my aunt, bought myself and my siblings some riding lessons when we were young. Later on, although I took no more lessons, my mother took me regularly to a local pony trekking centre where my riding did improve. This was to stand me in great stead when travelling abroad as an adult. On several occasions I was able to hire horses and go out riding unaccompanied (except for my travelling companion). I would never have done that but for my mother taking me horse riding when I was young.

 

[littlebrowndragon]

The last few years I regularly dream of dead relatives...mostly my mom, dad, and brother....but sometimes others. They are never nightmares but some of them are downright weird.

Care to provide an example of what you mean by "weird"?

 

[escargot]

I am so sorry you had those experiences when you were a child. If I'd been your mum I'd have taken you horse riding

As consolatory horse riding was actually done, I'd say that's some spot-on mindreading there!

 

[AnonyJ]

Thank you. I do regard all experience as part of "life's rich tapestry". (Tennyson: "Yet all experience is an arch wherethro' Gleams that untravell'd world whose margin fades For ever and forever when I move".) My father supplied many experiences - good and bad - about which I have absolutely no regrets. One of the best of these was spending much of my childhood on boats. This because my father, rather than being horse daft, was boat daft.

Funnily enough, my mother did take me horse riding. Actually, her sister, my aunt, bought myself and my siblings some riding lessons when we were young. Later on, although I took no more lessons, my mother took me regularly to a local pony trekking centre where my riding did improve. This was to stand me in great stead when travelling abroad as an adult. On several occasions I was able to hire horses and go out riding unaccompanied (except for my travelling companion). I would never have done that but for my mother taking me horse riding when I was young.

Boats and horses I am so glad you had the experiences!

As consolatory horse riding was actually done, I'd say that's some spot-on mindreading there!

Thank you! I'm a bit like everyone's Auntie at times

 

[dr wu]

Care to provide an example of what you mean by "weird"?

The next time ...I'll write one down...I rarely recall them after a day or two.

 

[littlebrowndragon]

Boats and horses I am so glad you had the experiences!

I'm not sure my mother was glad, though! I was too young to remember but when out on the boat one sunny, summer afternoon - my father's boat was a converted fishing boat - we were coming into the loch heading for the main pier. Unfortunately, one of my father's drunken cronies had locked himself in the wheelhouse and was steering the boat, full steam ahead, straight for the pier. My mother, anticipating the worst, took her two children, me and my sister, under each arm, went to the stern and sat with her legs braced against some convenient rail and waited for the inevitable. My father eventually managed to break into the wheelhouse and wrest the wheel from his crony and avert disaster with seconds to spare. That sort of experience, as I'm sure you can appreciate, is why my mother ensured all her children could swim before they were 8 years old.

Actually, my uncle, my father's brother, died along with all his passengers in a boating accident. The night his boat went down I remember going out with my mother along the coast road in storm force winds looking for my uncle's boat. His wife spent the night at our house. My aunt, literally sick with worry, spent much of the night vomiting in the bathroom. Then there were the frequent encounters with WW II ordinance i.e. mines, and in those days the ever present mine sweepers in local waters...……………………..

 

[Starbuck]

For a while after my dad died (many years ago now), I would have dreams where he would be allowed to come back for a day to tell me what the afterlife was like. He would always describe 'heaven' (which is a little weird, I guess, because although raised a catholic I'm now an atheist...although I have no real idea what happens after we die. But having lost both of my parents now, I would like to believe that they're reunited 'somewhere else').

I remember in one dream asking him if he'd met Einstein in heaven (I have a degree in physics so Einstein is a bit of a hero of mine) and my dad explained that heaven was made up of many different 'levels' and that he hadn't reached Einstein's level yet.

Interestingly, since my mum passed many years later, I rarely dream about my dad now and dream about my mum instead - except my dreams about her are more about her coming back so that I can care for her (she was ill for a year before she passed and moved in with my wife and I so that we could take care of her).

 

[dejanmikic]

my dad explained that heaven was made up of many different 'levels' and that he hadn't reached Einstein's level yet

Are you a gamer Starbuck? Sorry, don't mean to be insensitive but it is how the gamer's mind work? I do the same myself so please don't be mad at me

 

[escargot]

Are you a gamer Starbuck? Sorry, don't mean to be insensitive but it is how the gamer's mind work? I do the same myself so please don't be mad at me

There's a belief common to many religions that there are 'levels' of Heaven/Paradise etc. which are attained through good works and saintliness on Earth. It translates well to gaming.

 

[Starbuck]

Are you a gamer Starbuck? Sorry, don't mean to be insensitive but it is how the gamer's mind work? I do the same myself so please don't be mad at me

I'm an avid board gamer, if that counts?

I have played computer games in the past (used to love the original Resident Evil games on the playstation) and did treat myself to a ps4 with VR...which has been out of the box twice in the past year, lol!

There's a belief common to many religions that there are 'levels' of Heaven/Paradise etc. which are attained through good works and saintliness on Earth. It translates well to gaming.

Really? I've never heard of this before outside of my dream. Guess my dad is never wrong! Hehe!

FWIW, had he lived long enough to experience modern gaming consoles then I'm sure he'd have been a keen gamer too!

 

[escargot]

I'm an avid board gamer, if that counts?

Oooh, board games? My son runs a board gaming group and hosts little events. I'm always looking out for new games for him & his discreetly competitive pals to play.

In fact for xmas I've acquired a full-sized folding portable casino table top which folds into a lovely bag. Needs a bit of TLC and of course a roulette wheel.

 

[Starbuck]

Oooh, board games? My son runs a board gaming group and hosts little events. I'm always looking out for new games for him & his discreetly competitive pals to play.

In fact for xmas I've acquired a full-sized folding portable casino table top which folds into a lovely bag. Needs a bit of TLC and of course a roulette wheel.

Nice!!!

We actually have a dedicated board gaming room in our apartment and are also members of a couple of local board gaming groups. So much fun and a great way to meet people, as well as keep the old grey matter ticking over!

 

[escargot]

Nice!!!

We actually have a dedicated board gaming room in our apartment and are also members of a couple of local board gaming groups. So much fun and a great way to meet people, as well as keep the old grey matter ticking over!

Brilliant! Do you play roulette etc (I mean gambling games) or is that a different thing? Will his game-playing pals like it or will they think he's trying to fleece them?

At a wedding I went to there was a roulette game. It was great fun and somebody overall won. It was just chips, not money though!

 

[JamesWhitehead]

there was a roulette game.

We were given several different roulette-sets as children and knew all the rules. Not that they are hard to learn but there was a nice bit of French vocab. thrown in!

I really wanted the grown-up version with a 00-slot and the house-win lever under the desk, as in all the fillums!

"Now then, Grannie, get your pension, we are going to play a little game . . ."