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Dreaming Of The Dead

I've mentioned here before that I've had a number of dreams of my deceased grandmother.

Well, over the past few months I've been having fairly intense dreams (enough to wake me up) involving a close friend from childhood, who passed way before his time (he was 41) due to his alcoholism.

What's interesting (or not) is that he passed in late 2018, and it's only in recent times he's figured in my dreams.

I can never remember the details of the dreams when I awake, only knowing that he was very much the centre of them.
 
BaronHardacre said:
I've mentioned here before that I've had a number of dreams of my deceased grandmother.

Well, over the past few months I've been having fairly intense dreams (enough to wake me up) involving a close friend from childhood, who passed way before his time (he was 41) due to his alcoholism.

What's interesting (or not) is that he passed in late 2018, and it's only in recent times he's figured in my dreams.

I can never remember the details of the dreams when I awake, only knowing that he was very much the centre of them.
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Perhaps something in your current life is bringing him to mind?
 
BaronHardacre said:
I've mentioned here before that I've had a number of dreams of my deceased grandmother.

Well, over the past few months I've been having fairly intense dreams (enough to wake me up) involving a close friend from childhood, who passed way before his time (he was 41) due to his alcoholism.

What's interesting (or not) is that he passed in late 2018, and it's only in recent times he's figured in my dreams.

I can never remember the details of the dreams when I awake, only knowing that he was very much the centre of them.
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I often don't dream of, in particular, family members until they've died, and then, it will be several years after they've died.
 
Had warm and comforting dream last night about someone who died back in the spring. :)

They passed in hospital. I'd been with them every minute I was allowed to be, right up to the end, as I'd previously promised, and had kept them calm.

Hadn't dreamed about them until last night, when I found myself visiting them in a house I used to go to for a home care job. The house looked the same except it was full of beautiful glowing daylight.

I found them in bed as I'd expected. To my surprise though they were healthy and able to get up and dress without help.
They enjoyed this little trick and my bemusement at how well they looked, in contrast to the last time I'd seen them.

They followed me downstairs to the kitchen. We chilled and chatted happily. There may have been a pot of tea and biscuits.
It was all very relaxed and joyful.

This is my subconscious reminding me that I did everything I could at the time of the death.
It's the change of the season, another one they won't see; time has moved on and left them behind, and so must I. :nods:
 
I have a few fragments of an unpleasant dream from last night. I dreamt that I got up and went to the fridge, and the fridge door was wide open, and since I hadn't been in the kitchen for ages, the fridge must have been open for hours. Nonetheless, I took out a nearly-full carton of milk and swigged it back - it was horrible sludge and I spat it all out into the sink.

When I woke up this morning and was busy getting my breakfast ready, I did double-check the nearly-full carton of milk in the (closed) fridge door - just in case. It was fine.

Edit: Oops - I posted in the wrong thread - I thought I was posting in "What did you dream last night?" - sorry everyone!
 
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I'm always on the look-out for wishful-thinking whenever I have dreams like escargot's; yet somehow there's a really lingering feeling that the dreams are actually truthful, and not consolation.
 
Steven said:
I'm always on the look-out for wishful-thinking whenever I have dreams like escargot's; yet somehow there's a really lingering feeling that the dreams are actually truthful, and not consolation.
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They can be both. :nods:

It is normal and healthy to dream of our beloved dead. Intellectually we know they're gone but our emotions, our heart, our soul, might take a little longer.

I know all this and expect it, yet I can still be comforted by what Michael Rosen calls the beautiful dreams.
Of course, a poet would know all about it.
 
SimonBurchell said:
I have a few fragments of an unpleasant dream from last night. I dreamt that I got up and went to the fridge, and the fridge door was wide open, and since I hadn't been in the kitchen for ages, the fridge must have been open for hours. Nonetheless, I took out a nearly-full carton of milk and swigged it back - it was horrible sludge and I spat it all out into the sink.

When I woke up this morning and was busy getting my breakfast ready, I did double-check the nearly-full carton of milk in the (closed) fridge door - just in case. It was fine.

Edit: Oops - I posted in the wrong thread - I thought I was posting in "What did you dream last night?" - sorry everyone!
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No problem. I know I've done that. Though your case could be argued that the milk was well past it.:chuckle:
 
SimonBurchell said:
I have a few fragments of an unpleasant dream from last night. I dreamt that I got up and went to the fridge, and the fridge door was wide open, and since I hadn't been in the kitchen for ages, the fridge must have been open for hours. Nonetheless, I took out a nearly-full carton of milk and swigged it back - it was horrible sludge and I spat it all out into the sink.

When I woke up this morning and was busy getting my breakfast ready, I did double-check the nearly-full carton of milk in the (closed) fridge door - just in case. It was fine.

Edit: Oops - I posted in the wrong thread - I thought I was posting in "What did you dream last night?" - sorry everyone!
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We have several threads on dreams. :nods:
None of them really makes any sense. :chuckle:
 
This was a vivid one.

I learnt quite recently that an elderly friend of mine had passed away. Although he was a sprightly 82 he was a fit and active artist. He still worked prodigiously, and one might have guessed him as 20 years younger.

Anyway last night I was dreaming that I was walking across a large paved urban area on a bright and breezy day. It was busy, and it had a look similar to the open space on the river-facing side of the waterfront buildings in Liverpool (not a location that has any association with my friend). I was walking up a couple of steps, when this friend passed by me, and cautiously said “Hello”. I say cautiously, because I got the sense that he wanted to greet me but didn’t want to startle me, which of course he did. I immediately recalled he was dead, and I was initially frightened. I nervously said “You shouldn’t be here”, but he didn’t really react. I then settled down a bit, turned to him, and asked “So how are things?” My friend replied, with a chuckle “Well, hehe… as you’ve probably heard…” I then answered, “Yes I know, but I mean how are YOU - what is it like?” His response, with a smile, was enigmatic. “I’ll tell you, look after this” he said, tapping his head with his finger. Keep filling it with new experiences. And you will see.” I then became aware that a couple of elderly ladies had been stood close by during our encounter, silently, and I got the sense that he was going with them. As I continued to look at my friend his face slowly changed, to become unfamiliar. This wasn’t an alarming transition, it just seemed that he morphed back into a generic “dream character” like the other people wandering about. He turned to leave, and that was when I awoke.
 
I dreamt that I went to see my late father, he died a few years ago, he was very infirm it's all a bit fragmented now, but also there were my two late aunties and grandmother who all died a few years ago, my Father was in bed and my aunties said he was still resting

It's the first time my Dad or any of them have appeared in a dream, I don't know if it was significant or not
 
escargot said:
Perhaps something in your current life is bringing him to mind?
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Well, when I recently dreamed of my dad (complete with a beard - which I never saw him having), it was concerning my concealing my own imminent death. It might relate to the impending death of my elderly dog and me (as a 'father' with a beard) trying to comfort him.
I have, however, dreamed of my deceased mum but very rarely.
 
Stormkhan said:
Well, when I recently dreamed of my dad (complete with a beard - which I never saw him having), it was concerning my concealing my own imminent death. It might relate to the impending death of my elderly dog and me (as a 'father' with a beard) trying to comfort him.
I have, however, dreamed of my deceased mum but very rarely.
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Just now, home from work and sprawled on the sofa watching Vera, I was reading this when a character took a phone call about the condition of his father in the hospice. Not looking good.

You're being brave about the dog. :(
 
I'm on the autistic spectrum, which might explain why my reactions aren't so emotional. I care but I tend towards stoicism. I don't think it's brave.
 
One of our dogs who died 5 years ago last November came to me in a dream a few nights ago. We were sitting on a rock looking out and she (Poppy was her name) came and sat under my right arm.
It was a vividly colourful dream. The sky was very blue, the grass very green and I remember saying to her ''It's good to see you again.'' She also seemed happy to see me wagging her tail enthusiastically.
It seemed very real.
Her ashes sit in a small box in our loungeroom along with those of out other dog who we lost 18 months later and I think of them both often.
She's been on my mind a lot since this dream as it seemed almost too realistic to have been just a dream. Maybe it wasn't.
 
Stormkhan said:
I'm on the autistic spectrum, which might explain why my reactions aren't so emotional. I care but I tend towards stoicism. I don't think it's brave.
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I'm not on the spectrum, but I tend to be stoic around death. For me, death is something normal (except those occurring from accidents).

I don't feel much about the dead person or pet. They are gone. I feel sad for those who lose them. They have to go on. That is the hard part.

When my husband died (of cystic fibrosis) after only being in hospital for a day, I was happy for him. He didn't suffer and he died as he wanted - not bedridden nor dependent on others for his care.

I was even smiling and chatting to everyone at the small memorial service that I had. And the service I had only because his mom was still alive and I knew she would like something.

Did I grieve for him? Definitely. But I was still happy that he went as he wished.
 
brownmane said:
I'm not on the spectrum, but I tend to be stoic around death. For me, death is something normal (except those occurring from accidents).

I don't feel much about the dead person or pet. They are gone. I feel sad for those who lose them. They have to go on. That is the hard part.

When my husband died (of cystic fibrosis) after only being in hospital for a day, I was happy for him. He didn't suffer and he died as he wanted - not bedridden nor dependent on others for his care.

I was even smiling and chatting to everyone at the small memorial service that I had. And the service I had only because his mom was still alive and I knew she would like something.

Did I grieve for him? Definitely. But I was still happy that he went as he wished.
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I am similar and believe it's the natural way, of course it's perfectly normal to miss someone or something, but death is a natural thing and we will all face it, as a society we tend to cling on to nearly everything rather than recognizing that everything die both animate and inanimate
 
Robbrent said:
I am similar and believe it's the natural way, of course it's perfectly normal to miss someone or something, but death is a natural thing and we will all face it, as a society we tend to cling on to nearly everything rather than recognizing that everything die both animate and inanimate
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I take it you haven't buried a son or daughter then.
 
Not a dream but...

Think I mentioned some time ago how I'd been seeing the highly-unusual forename of a deceased friend - who, for reasons of their privacy, I'll call 'Forteana' in this post - so often that it was just ridiculous, almost hourly, and seemed way beyond mere coincidence. I fretted a lot over this, thinking that it might've meant something of significance aside from the obvious (i.e. 'Don't forget me'). I couldn't think what though...

On the first anniversary of their passing, I saw the name again, this time online and completely out of place in what I was reading: the words were 'Forteana, joyful spirit'. :)
 
Stormkhan said:
Well, I feel roughly the same.
I was a bearer of my eldest sons coffin. You shouldn't assume everyone mourns the same.
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So true. The absolute worst thing that can happen; when it comes about it changes you and becomes part of you. There's no brushing off the grief with thought of how death comes to everyone and is normal.
 
escargot said:
So true. The absolute worst thing that can happen; when it comes about it changes you and becomes part of you. There's no brushing off the grief with thought of how death comes to everyone and is normal.
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Sorry, Scargy, but I feel that your comment is a little judgmental. I believe that @Robbrent was simply expressing his view on my comment prior (post 528) in which I expressed my view that death is normal (with exception of accidents). A very factual statement. He added his thoughts on how he believes society as a whole deals with death.

I do not believe he was talking about how people experience grief.
 
brownmane said:
Sorry, Scargy, but I feel that your comment is a little judgmental. I believe that @Robbrent was simply expressing his view on my comment prior (post 528) in which I expressed my view that death is normal (with exception of accidents). A very factual statement. He added his thoughts on how he believes society as a whole deals with death.

I do not believe he was talking about how people experience grief.
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I was replying to @Stormkhan.
 
brownmane said:
It's great that you were there for him and were able to work things out between you.

I have had dreams of my husband, both a little disturbing and inane. The disturbing ones were him still being alive and living another life, intentionally, without me.

All of these dreams do not seem to be him, but a dream figure. I had one very brief dream of him shortly after he died. There was no background and he couldn't hear me and I couldn't hear him. There seemed to be an invisible barrier between us. He looked confused. I just told him that I loved him. That is the only dream that I believe was him.

I do believe that people we love do appear in dreams to let us know that all is ok. I would believe (though you know how the dream felt) that your dad's firm grip handshake and direct eye contact was probably him letting you know how important it was to patch things up with you.
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Neither my mom nor my sister seem to appear to me in dreams , well once or twice but hardly ever . And I have my mom's ashes in my lounge but if I was tripping the light fantastic , I guess Stafford wouldn't be up there on my Must Revisit list either ?! I had a very vivid dream once , though , a few years ago , in it I was working in a hotel and upon entering a function room there were about 20 people ALL of which closely resembled my grandmother be they male or female. I started talking to them and it wasn't long before I told them of their resemblance and I told them I was a... (insert her surname) and it turned out they WERE of her family AND were delighted to meet me and started loading me up with heirlooms . I then woke up but it was incredibly vivid and strangely comforting.
The other night I had a dream about my sadly deceased then lifelong friend who basically drank himself to death far too young and I was on the lash as we Brits would say with him , Ollie Reed and Peter o'Toole.... That was fun even if the two famous legends seemed to be taking it easy compared to their reputations
 
And again I've just woken up from another dream about same late , great friend where we were in my old bedroom at my mom's house having to apparently endure tedious work training but we ignored them and focused on scraping dog shite off a pair of trainers (not the human ones in my room) Oh I dunno , I guess he misses me , I miss the old bugger too , well it's the weekend now so maybe tomorrow night I'll fall asleep and he'll take me out with Ollie and Peter again to get (excuse the pun) mortal
 
gojiramonkey said:
And again I've just woken up from another dream about same late , great friend where we were in my old bedroom at my mom's house having to apparently endure tedious work training but we ignored them and focused on scraping dog shite off a pair of trainers (not the human ones in my room) Oh I dunno , I guess he misses me , I miss the old bugger too , well it's the weekend now so maybe tomorrow night I'll fall asleep and he'll take me out with Ollie and Peter again to get (excuse the pun) mortal
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No idea why I detailed that dream.... Boring and frankly , quite unpleasant in some details .... But it is interesting why deceased mates can keep in touch via dreams but not your immediate family ?? Guess I WAS a little bastard after all....
 
Since my father died just over two years ago, he regularly appears in my dreams - probably more so than when he was still with us.

Last night I dreamed of him, and although in my dream I knew he'd died and I'd been to his funeral, he was there - back again! It was very pleasing but somewhat puzzling to me in that odd dream way that huge discrepancies seem minor. He was now living by the sea in a huge ex-hotel.

My father's death IRL was the catalyst for a major family breach between his first set of offspring & in-laws (inc. me) and his second. It doesn't seem healable and this plays on my mind quite a lot. My stepmonther & half-siblings often pop up in my dreams and I'm trying to explain and/or apologise (although, again IRL, it's not really my fault). I've regularly seen people who I 'know' are actually dead in my dreams and I am delighted but slightly perplexed that they're around again.
 
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