Dreaming Of The Dead

IbisNibs

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Had a rather distressing dream last night in which I was looking for my mother and father, eventually I found them at my auntie's house. My mother was crying in my father's arms and I launched a bitter diatribe at her accusing her of "ruining this family" I was in tears myself at this point and I crashed out of the house and walked away in tears.
Wishing you peace and healing! :oldm:
 

XXI - The World

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Beautiful accounts there, thank you, and welcome.

After a friend of mine died I dreamed of him and like you, accused him of being dead. He strenuously denied this and accused his girlfriend of spreading stories about him.

When my father died I dreamed he was at the funeral directors' while the family were present organising his send-off, which I told him seemed inappropriate. He responded by telling me he was 'all changed now', proving it by exhibiting his Action Man-like apparently sexless torso.

Comforting but silly.
Similarly, I had a dream about Mama where I told her she was dead and she told me she wasn't dead. In fact, she was more alive now than ever. She told me to tell the doctor 'thank you' and some other stuff... Said stuff I can't remember now. I think she's aware that she's crossed over but she would never, ever want to label herself as 'dead' simply because she still exists.

We Do Not Die - Velvet Hammer
 

catseye

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I thought the dreams about my deceased dad had stopped - he died eleven years ago, I'm fully reconciled to this and, although I miss him, I know he was suffering badly.

But last night I dreamed I was sitting beside him as he corrected my homework (he used to try his best to help me with my maths homework when I was at school, an alarming number of years ago, but I never really 'got' it). He was quite stoney faced and unsmiling, which was not like him. As soon as I realised what was going on, I said out loud 'Before we go any further, I have to say this, that I love you and I miss you' and kissed him on the cheek. I absolutely knew that he was dead, but somehow didn't quite become lucid in the dream. Once that was out of the way, I carried on listening to him correct my homework. He barely acknowledged me, but I still felt that I'd 'achieved' something.

Very odd. I bought my brother a birthday present which was to do with our father's profession, so maybe that's put him in the forefront of my mind, but it seemed that the dream was simply to reiterate that he was dead - although it was nice to be able to tell him again that I missed him.
 

escargot

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Very odd. I bought my brother a birthday present which was to do with our father's profession, so maybe that's put him in the forefront of my mind, but it seemed that the dream was simply to reiterate that he was dead - although it was nice to be able to tell him again that I missed him.
Sounds spot-on to me.
 

brownmane

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The last couple of weeks I've had dreams of people who have died. I'm sure that it's because my dad died this April, though deaths in the family don't really bother me. The deaths have been expected and I know that I've done the best that I can for them. It's the seventh year that my hubby has been gone.

In these dreams, I just see the person doing regular things, but it bothers me that others in the dream don't seem to realize they're dead. So I call them out and say "You're dead". Odd.
 

escargot

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In these dreams, I just see the person doing regular things, but it bothers me that others in the dream don't seem to realize they're dead. So I call them out and say "You're dead". Odd.
I've had that! In one dream I was arguing quite vigorously with a deceased friend who was adamant that he was alive.
In another dream my then very recently deceased father turned up at the undertaker's while the rest of us were organising his funeral. I told him off but he didn't care.
 

catseye

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I wonder if sometimes it's just our brain checking in that we realise these people are still dead.

There are still moments when I do that kind of 'twitch' of 'must phone dad and let him know I saw....' although they are much more infrequent after eleven years, and, as the dreams of him are also less frequent, maybe there is a correlation. Because I'd been thinking of him when buying my brother's birthday present, perhaps my brain wanted to make sure that I knew he was still dead?
 

escargot

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I wonder if sometimes it's just our brain checking in that we realise these people are still dead.

There are still moments when I do that kind of 'twitch' of 'must phone dad and let him know I saw....' although they are much more infrequent after eleven years, and, as the dreams of him are also less frequent, maybe there is a correlation. Because I'd been thinking of him when buying my brother's birthday present, perhaps my brain wanted to make sure that I knew he was still dead?
Sounds spot-on to me. It's your subconscious trying to take care of you.
 

Dwain Pipe

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An old friend of mine died suddenly last year at the very young age of 39 leaving behind a wife and 2 sons aged 5 & 2. Very, very sad. We all found it very difficult to come to terms with and it just didn't make sense that such vibrant energy could just disappear so suddenly. Some months later I had a dream that I was alone in a darkened cinema. The screen was pitch black when my friend slowly came into focus on the screen. He very simply said "I'm alright pal" before melting back into the blackness. It was the way he said it that affected me. He said it in a manner that was accepting of the situation but very sad about it. I can't say that the dream provided any comfort at all.
 

catseye

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I had a traumatic dream about my parents last night.


At first we were sitting chatting in an idyllic garden setting. I was with some other people, and they and my mum had headed back to the car to leave. I was sitting with my dad, who looked younger and healthy. He suddenly slumped and began talking nonsense, I knew he was probably having a hypo attack (he was diabetic in his last years), so I tried to get him to eat some sugar, whilst cursing the fact that everyone had gone off and left me to manage getting him to the car.

Next we were in a hospital like setting, my mum was in a bed and I was trying to get my dad in next to her. She was completely compos mentis (she died with dementia) and criticising the horrible orange and purple swirly fabric that she was wearing - apparently it was designed by midwives(!?). I sort of picked my dad up and tucked him in next to her, he pulled the cover right up over his head and I sort of patted it and said 'I love you', but I was crying and knew that his mind had gone and I'd never hear him say my name again.

It was hugely upsetting, in contrast to my recent, very peaceful, dreams of my parents, but just about the first time that I have dreamed about them both together. (The being under the cover and patting him I put down to when the dog snuggles on the sofa next to me, she lies under the throw and I have to sort of pat her through the fabric...).

I'm not quite sure why I was so upset about him not saying my name again - he very rarely used my name anyway! And about my crying he'd have just said, rather awkwardly, 'don't take on so...'

So not really sure what it was all about. But it's nice to be able to document it, so I don't forget. Posthumous encounters through dreams are all I have now, so it's 'staying in touch' in a way...
 

Lizard King

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That sounds very distressing for you Catseye and can be a hard to shake off that type of feeling.I hope you continue to get comfort from more peaceable dreams. I have a mix of very happy and very sad dreams of my brother who died 3 years ago. Like you ,encounters through dreams are all I have now also.
 

PeteS

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I had a traumatic dream about my parents last night.


At first we were sitting chatting in an idyllic garden setting. I was with some other people, and they and my mum had headed back to the car to leave. I was sitting with my dad, who looked younger and healthy. He suddenly slumped and began talking nonsense, I knew he was probably having a hypo attack (he was diabetic in his last years), so I tried to get him to eat some sugar, whilst cursing the fact that everyone had gone off and left me to manage getting him to the car.

Next we were in a hospital like setting, my mum was in a bed and I was trying to get my dad in next to her. She was completely compos mentis (she died with dementia) and criticising the horrible orange and purple swirly fabric that she was wearing - apparently it was designed by midwives(!?). I sort of picked my dad up and tucked him in next to her, he pulled the cover right up over his head and I sort of patted it and said 'I love you', but I was crying and knew that his mind had gone and I'd never hear him say my name again.

It was hugely upsetting, in contrast to my recent, very peaceful, dreams of my parents, but just about the first time that I have dreamed about them both together. (The being under the cover and patting him I put down to when the dog snuggles on the sofa next to me, she lies under the throw and I have to sort of pat her through the fabric...).

I'm not quite sure why I was so upset about him not saying my name again - he very rarely used my name anyway! And about my crying he'd have just said, rather awkwardly, 'don't take on so...'

So not really sure what it was all about. But it's nice to be able to document it, so I don't forget. Posthumous encounters through dreams are all I have now, so it's 'staying in touch' in a way...
Ahh bless Catseye. Hope you find some peace in future dreams.
 
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