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Dreaming Of The Dead

Hi everyone,
Sorry I've not replied to anyone before now, I got bitten on the neck by an insect...........well I hope it was an insect lol! It got infected and made me quite ill, would you believe it......... I couldn't!

Anyway, Thanks Escargo for those kind words, I didn't know how people would react and it was a relief to get a friendly reply. (By the way, I too hope your dad gets better soon)

Hi AMPHIARAUS, I've heard that too, about teeth, but I think in this instant I was being told my son had a toothache, which he wasn't telling me about, in this particular tooth. It was going to be alright though, as there was a new tooth under the one that was causing pressure.
I would like to think it was my dad letting me know, as I had more stuff happen to me like this, around this time, but it seems too good to be true. I would love it to be true, but I swing back and forth on it. I'm always interested to read other people's experiences on things like this.

Hi Cultjunky, Yes these dreams are very vivid and unlike "normal" dreaming. They stay with you forever in your memory, with the same intensity as life changing events in your real life and I have heard other people, who have experienced them, say the same thing.
I have only had a few in my life, then years go by with non at all.
There was one other thing I remember in my dream, my dad was wearing a cream jacket, which I hadn't seen him in before, but which suited him. When I mentioned it to my sister recently, (I was thinking of it again, because of writing on this forum) she told me he did have a cream jacket at one time, she had bought it for him and it was one of his his favorites. (I had moved away at this stage and never got to see it.)
Having said all that, I think that some "normal" dreams are pretty important too and help us sort things out in our minds. I feel like I get little insights and nudges in the right direction from them sometimes and even though some of them are just weird, they still make you think.
If you are waking up in tears now and then, something must be going on, even if it's just your body releasing pent up stress, or something, it's still very important to your well being. We still dont know a lot about the human brain/soul, really do we?
 
Hi Ormus, glad to hear you're feeling better :)

I really like the idea that my mind is still working hard even when I'm not. I guess for some people, if there's been a traumatic event, this would be a really useful respose to help them to function in daily life better. A kind of mental-immuno respose to trauma. I just wonder why this kind of response ever evolved. I mean, I get why skin scabs over and bones re-fuse, but why a healing type response to emotional trauma? Were our ancestors in pre history so debilitated to make it essential?
 
Hi, thanks cultjunky,

I know, it's confusing. I used to be more sure about everything when I was young, such as ;
When you were dead, you were dead.
And you couldn't dream the future, because it hadn't happened yet, etc.
Now all I'm sure about, is not being sure about anything.
I like reading about other people's experiences on the Message board, and people's thoughts on it, as well.
I wonder if anyone else has started out sure that there was just the here and now, and then had to question their belief system, by events that have happened in their lives?
(Infact I think Rasputin has started a thread for just this kind of thing)
 
Yeah, it's in the "it happened to me" area of the board, usefully titled "did your experience change your perception"

I've tried to include a link to it here, but I can't seem to get it to work. Don't know if any of the mods could help me out? Please?

(I'm sure it will be an incredibly simple thing to do :oops: )
 
My father died last week. He was a bit of a naturist, always wandering around at home in the nuddy, which embarrassed my mother in case anyone came to see them.

Soon after Dad died, Mum dreamed that she was in a busy park on a sunny day, with lots of families strolling around and sitting on the grass. All very pleasant.

She suddenly noticed Dad walking along, nekkid as God made him, grinning because nobody else could see him and he was free to streak to his heart's content. :lol:
 
Sorry to hear about your Dad Escargot, hope you're doing OK.

That sounds like a great dream, your Dad sounds like a real cheeky chap :lol:
 
I'm also sorry to hear about your dad Escargot, and my thoughts are with you.
Lovely dream your mum had though, Quirky, funny and upbeat.
 
Aww, thank yous.
I feel that Dad's at peace now. He'd been active and creative in his life and towards the end was very frustrated at losing his capacities.

He held firm beliefs about an afterlife and had no fear of death. I hope I'm as brave when my time comes.

There will surely be a Dad dream to report soon. ;)
 
My sympathies also, Escargot.

And be sure you continue to take care of your own health. You bring to these boards not only a clear-headed Fortean incisiveness but an equally- wonderful delight which no-one else could ever quite equal - not even by committee. God bless you.
 
Two dreams spring to mind. The first was related to my Grandad who died 40 years ago, four years before I was born. I only ever remember seeing one colour photo of him which showed him in a working men’s club leaning over to see/hear something that was going on. Nothing was out of the ordinary at all in the image. My Grandad had hazel coloured eyes, which I seem to have inherited.

I had this dream when I was somewhere between 16 and 20. The dream has me walking down the stairs of my Nana's house (I recall I had just woken up in the dream) and there was something of a commotion going on downstairs. I walked into the front room and sitting in one of the armchairs was my Grandad surrounded by toddlers, ten or twelve of them. I didn't ask him where he had been (or perhaps more pertinently how he had returned) but there was an implied understanding that he had been 'away' but he was now back. The most striking aspect of the whole scene was that my Grandad's eyes were the most iridescent sapphire that I can recall seeing.

Then I woke up.

The second dream was to do with the recent loss of my Dad also. We lost Dad four years ago (still seems recent to me) to cancer and I was kind of expecting some kind of visitation be it in the dream or waking world. A couple of years passed and nothing happened. The first appearance in my dream of my Dad was strangely connected to my Nana's house too. I was simply watching my Dad weeding the steps on the path; something I'd never seen him do.

I consider myself something of a fringe believer; however in neither case did it feel like either my Grandad or Dad was trying to make contact.
 
My father died about 6 years ago, & somewhere around 2 years later, I started having dreams about him. I'm not usually much of a dreamer, & almost never remember my dreams more than a few minutes past waking, but these were quite different. They always felt extremely real, & often it would take a few hours after waking to convince myself that it had only been a dream, and they have all stuck with me in a lot of detail even now.

They started out with my dad showing up at his house, and telling us all that there had been a mistake, he hadn't really died, but instead had been in a coma, but due to a records mix up at the hospital we were lead to believe he had died. This wasn't really possible as myself and several of the relatives were at the hospital when he passed, so we all knew pretty well for certain, but in the dream we went along with it (probably because I, like everyone else in the family wasn't quite ready to let him go). So for the rest of the dream we set about getting his things back in order for him.

I would have another of these dreams every 2-3 months, the setting was always whatever was going on in my life at the moment, but somewhere in the dream I would have contact with my father, & we'd discuss how things were going for him. At first his issues were the re-gathering of his possessions & straightening out paperwork to establish that he hadn't in fact died, then later it was just his day to day life. Each dream was very vivid, & fit smoothly into things that were going on with me, and moreover were always very comforting.

It took about 3 or 4 of these dreams to notice a pattern, & after i'd noticed it, i had another 3 or 4, then they stopped. However, just last week, I had another one. It started out as another dream, which faded into being me watching a movie of that dream in my dad's house. I asked when we were eating dinner, & my step-mother was there & she said, "go ask your father, he's making chicken". At that point I realized I was having another of 'those dreams', & upon realization was grief stricken. I remember saying "this is only a dream, isn't it." She nodded, then said to me, "So..does that make it any less?" At this i realized she was right, even if it was a dream it was a chance to see & talk to him again, so I did just that.

After talking to him & a few other twists & turns, I ended up on the phone with him, & it was like for the first time in the dream he acknowledged also that it was just a dream and that in reality he was gone. I remember breaking down in tears during the dream, sobbing into the phone, & him saying that he missed me too, & he was proud of my accomplishments since he'd passed, and that I shouldn't be upset because we could always talk there in my dreams.

All in all they've been very meaningful dreams, and very set-apart from my normal dreams, partly because of their vividness and real-feel, and also how they chronologically progressed as my life did. I'm not sure if I feel like I was actually communicating with my father across the veil, but it has been nice to at least feel like there has been contact between us.

Sorry for rambling on but I thought it was important to include the whole story.
 
Corthos, I like how you knew during the dream that it was 'one of those dreams'.

It's as if your mind is trying to bring your memories of your father up to date, sort of saying 'Yup, he's in the past in your daily life but there's a place where he is still with you.' ;)

Great story there, thanks for sharing. :D

Redbone, I wonder if your dreams about your father and grandfather are about how much a part of you they still are? You mention the eyes a couple of times, which seems significant.

I've just lost my father - less than a week ago - and I feel that he is at rest. I was able to do my best for him when he was dying and we made a long-needed peace.

If I dream about him I'll be surprised as I really don't feel there's anything we'd need to tell each other. :D

Perhaps I'm the one who's at peace. 8)
 
Hi Corthos,

Nice post. Thankyou for sharing it.
I recognise these dreams were so much more than a "dream" to you and with such a warm message at the end.
 
Got chatting to a fellow dog-walker yesterday, whom I know slightly. She knows that my father has died and we somehow got onto the subject of dreaming about the dead.

She lost her husband, with whom she used to run a Country and Western club, rather young. After he died, she dreamed that she was following him down a busy street, keeping an eye on his Stetson hat, but he eventually turned off down a side street so that she 'lost' him.

But in the dream she knew that she'd easily find that street again when she was less busy and had more time... ;)
 
When my Dad died in 1995, at age 79, my Mother was already far gone with Alzheimer's Disease. We were never certain whether Mom ever fully grasped the fact of Dad's death or not. (They'd been married for 57 years.)

But for the next several years I had almost nightly dreams that Mom and I were living together again, she fully cured of her dementia. We'd tour the countryside together (she driving).

I never had any such dreams after Mom herself died in 2002, although I do occasionally dream that Dad, Mom, my younger brother and I are all together again.
 
Hi OldTimeRadio,

Lovely dreams, Poignant and Heartwarming.
Thanks for sharing
 
It was my father's funeral yesterday. The night before, I dreamed that a load of family members were sitting in a hotel lounge, waiting to leave for the funeral.

My father walked in, wearing a white toga-like garment, and sat down next to me. I said quietly 'Erm, Dad, you're not supposed to be here. You're dead!'

He said 'Nah, I can go where I like now. I'm all different. Look!'
He then pulled aside his toga and showed me his 'new' body, which was featureless, like a Ken doll.

Dad then settled back in the easy chair and looked quite content.

To me, this seems to be about Dad's belief in an afterlife, where he'll leave behind his human body and become a thing of spirit. :D

I spent a lot of time with him over a few weeks as he was dying. He told me several times that he had no regrets about his life. We took this to heart and had a recording of Piaf singing No Regrets at his funeral. 8)
 
Thanks, Ormuz.

Let me go off-topic for just a moment. The last time Mom, Dad and I were all three together, about eight months before Dad himself died, Mom had been almost entirely vegetative for the better part of five years. When it came time for Dad and me to leave her rest home room, Dad lifted Mom's chin with his forefinger and kissed her on the lips. Mom then spoke the first words she'd uttered in years.

She said: "Bud, please don't make a fool of yourself in front of your son."

I don't have to point out that that was a fairly complex sentence, at least under the circumstances. Mom obviously still understood familial relationships. And both Dad and I later agreed that Mom's words were at least intended as humor.

You wonder where they came from, or at the very least how they got out.

In fact I suspect that it was Mom's statement that later inspired my long series of "Mom cured" dreams. (Whoops, I just managed to drag this back on-topic!)
 
Hi escargot,

Thats so good that you did have a dream about him and the day before the funeral too. It really seems that he was passing a message to you and showing you he was content as well. Lovely!
 
Hi OldTimeRadio,

It just shows that you Mum was still there with you on some level even though she was so ill. It must have meant a lot to you when she spoke after so many years.
I'm glad you shared those happy times with her in your dreams. It would be nice to think that she might have dreamed about you too.
 
For ages now Ive waited for the bus at 7am in morning and become chatting buddies with this old man who also waits there in the morning.

Last week we got talking to curb the boredem whilst waiting and he brought up years ago when he was a miner. He talked of a man who never caught a bus but walked some 5 miles each shift to work.

The nick name he referred to him by was that of my late grandfather. I didnt reveal this at the time but it left me thinking wow, you knew my old grand dad.

Then next day around noon i left work to walk into town and got a snack. On the way back to work i got a tremendous feeling of my grand dad being near me. So profound was the feeling that it took my mind off normal chores/work etc.

It actually felt like he had just dropped in. I got an impression that he was really proud of me, saw the odd mental image of him looking cheerful etc.

Then it was gone as quick as it came but you know what? It left me with a strange feeling of happiness with my lot in life. I felt i could deal with anything, had a new spring in my step. Everything i have gone though in the last year with change of employment and long distance travel no longer seemed important. The tiredness etc went away in those brief moments leaving me feeling energised.

So, to my late Grand dad if your reading this in the realm of spirit I love and miss you very much and thank you for your support that day.
 
I had a few dreams in like one year of my cousin's grama who passed away. I was scared in them and I think I knew she was a dead person in the dream but it wasn't exactly a nightmare. In one of them she came to my room talking as if she had something mentally wrong with her (she didnt in real life) and really creeped me out. None of the dreams left me feeling good :S
 
Agh, should've posted here in the first place. here's a brief summary.

I often have a dream in which my dad is still alive. In the dream, it turns out there was a 'mistake' or an 'administrative error' which made everyone wrongly think he died of cancer 15 years ago. The 'system' went wrong, there was a glitch; it turns out he was alive and well all along.

So, in the dream, we must all accept this and carry on as normal. It makes me feel angry and annoyed. I'm angry at him for being alive, for defying the course of nature and jolting us back in time after we'd learned to accept his death. I feel so angry, yet I am supposed to be happy.

Sometimes in the dream I confront my dad, defying him, telling him that he's not entitled to an opinion, he's meant to be dead, he should shut the f*ck up because he's not meant to be alive, let alone sitting there saying things. He refuses to acknowledge my feelings, and the dream ends as my frustration with him causes me to lose my temper.

In reality, he was a good man.

Owen
 
I only had the 'it was all a mistake' dream once after my Dad died, (certainly that I remember, anyway) but during the dream I do remember feeling mild irritation that we had been put through all that fuss plus a funeral - for nothing. That tinged the feeling of loss all over again when I woke up with a little bit of guilt too. :(

As I said in my earlier post, when Dad is my dreams now I sort of know he is dead but I just am pleased to have this little bit of time with him anyway.
 
oweny29 said:
Sometimes in the dream I confront my dad, defying him, telling him that he's not entitled to an opinion, he's meant to be dead, he should shut the f*ck up because he's not meant to be alive, let alone sitting there saying things. He refuses to acknowledge my feelings, and the dream ends as my frustration with him causes me to lose my temper.

In reality, he was a good man.

Owen

Could be on some level you're pissed off with him that he left you. Not his fault of course but I think this is how the mind works sometimes.

Similar story with my father, who died suddenly when I was 6. He was an army man and I had recurring dreams that he would turn up on the doorstep, that he'd been lost somewhere on duty and it had all been a mistake etc. (seems to be a recurring theme on this thread). And I had these strange feelings of anger towards him into my adulthood that only ended when I had kids of my own.
 
I find it profoundly interesting that so many posters to this list, including myself, have experienced dreams in which relatives and friends turn up alive again, and that their reported deaths (even though we may have actually attended their funerals and interments) were nothing more than "administrative errors" (a wonderful turn of phrase under the circumstances).

As I believe I've posted before, I've had several dreams in which long-dead friends are not only alive and well again, but are genuinely shocked to discover that I am alive. "I wondered whatever happened to you and why you stopped coming over and eventually concluded that you had died."

I am slowly, albeit very slowly, coming to the conclusion that there may be something actually Paranormal taking place here, and I did not start out from that position.
 
OldTimeRadio said:
As I believe I've posted before, I've had several dreams in which long-dead friends are not only alive and well again, but are genuinely shocked to discover that I am alive. "I wondered whatever happened to you and why you stopped coming over and eventually concluded that you had died."

.

That's interesting!

I have dreams of my parents (who passed away about 13 years ago when I was in my early 20's.) They left me in a position where I had to make a lot of decisions at a young age, such as selling their home to pay off debt since I couldn't afford to manage it all myself.

In all my dreams of my parents, they are suddenly alive and it confuses me. On occasion, the issue of how they are living in the house I sold years ago scares me, and I worry that the new owners will come home and want their house back, and my parents will be upset. I'm always happy to see them, but this stress overpowers me, and I try to keep it inside.

The other day I had a pretty bad one that was anomalous. I found myself walking into my parents' room, as it was when I was in college. Time slowed down, and I saw the morning light on the bed. I was so happy to be there, and see them there sleeping, when time suddenly slowed down. I saw my father get up and go to his chest of drawers. He was not aware of me. He got an empty champagne bottle, went back over to the bed, and climbed on it. I suddenly remembered my parents were sick and supposed to be dead, when my Father hit my mother on the head with the bottom of the bottle. She moved a bit, like a doll, not like a human would, and I suddenly became terrified as I somehow knew if my Father saw me he'd hit me with the bottle too. He then put the bottle down, and I got the knowledge that he was about to go looking for another heavier one he had in the closet to use on me. I was wrestling with the incomprehensible thought of how to save my already deceased mother, while realizing I was still alive and had to get out of the house NOW. I found myself running down the stairs and out the front door, mimicking exactly my childhood dreams of running down the stairs and out the front door with my magic ruler, which I then used to go flying above my neighborhood. This time, there was no magic ruler, or flying, and I was terrified instead of being light and happy. I woke up as soon as I passed through the door and bounded down the stoop.

My Father was never violent towards my Mom in real life, that part was not literal.
 
What about dreams in which the death is a mistake begins to seem paranormal to you, Mr. Radio? It seems to me that they're a pretty straightforward type, with their roots partly in wish-fulfillment and partly in the posited function of dreams (for which the evidence seems to me convincing) in sorting, storing, strengthening, and downsizing connections in the brain. The images of those we love are closely associated with the knowledge that they are dead. When they are encountered in the dream state, when we routinely try to rationalize bizarre imagery, it is natural enough to create a "logical" explanation for the contrast between our knowledge of their death and the fact that we are presently seeing and talking to them. Given that the "denial" stage of grief is often expressed, in a bureaucratic society in which most deaths take place in the hospital without family members present - "offstage" as it were - as "there must be some mistake, the hospital has screwed up and informed the wrong family," the administrative error explanation is ready to hand.

The only such dream I ever had involved going downstairs and finding our friend J had dropped in. I was simultaneously overjoyed and angry. He had been estranged from his family and we hadn't been able to contact them until after he died and we found his great-aunt's phone number among a lot of other papers in a briefcase shoved under his bed. His explanation, in the dream, was that his family had carried him off to recuperate and he'd thought they'd told us his death was an error (we never saw him as a corpse; not being family we were not part of the aftermath even though we contacted them and visited him every day he was in the hospital). Perfectly logical, in a dream context; so much so that I continued to believe it several minutes after I woke up.
 
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