Dreaming Of The Dead

[Ulalume]

I always assumed the dream was my subconscious trying to force me to understand what my body had perhaps failed to get across to me.

I had a similar sort of dream before a miscarriage once, it's probably posted upthread somewhere. There were no relatives in my dream, though, just meeting a child on a staircase, who looked at me and said the word "cold." When I woke up, I knew it was all over.

 

[Ghost In The Machine]

I had a similar sort of dream before a miscarriage once, it's probably posted upthread somewhere. There were no relatives in my dream, though, just meeting a child on a staircase, who looked at me and said the word "cold." When I woke up, I knew it was all over.

To 'Like' seems inadequate, there. I had 5 boys and 3 miscarriages - one of which a non identical twin to my firstborn. And I always, always had the feeling they were girls (lost at or just before 12 weeks) and something about me just couldn't carry them to term. I never had any dreams, or any form of precognition when I lost a baby - each time it felt like a shock.

I was busy doing genealogy by the time I got to Son 5, and so assumed it was because I'd been thinking about that, when I did have a dream which I felt was one of those weird vivid pregnancy dreams you get, but it was an ancestor came to me in the dream - a grt grt aunt, I'd just been researching. Who told me to find out what happened to her. Like it was relevant to that (ultimately successful) pregnancy. I never actually did. Although the thing about this ancestor was that my dad had been very close to her sister, his grandma and she had always told him she was an only child. But there in the census - a sister, very close in age. She married young and that is all I know. She seems to vanish. I probably should go look for her.

There was a complication with the last son - he was lying sideways. And I had babies super fast, so I had to live in hospital for the final month in case I went into labour as they said I could have died, as they couldn't have got me into hospital fast enough, from home. A day or two before he was born, he moved from being sideways and all was well. I wonder if the grt grt aunt died in childbirth?

To clarify, I was rushed into hospital the day of a routine check up when they found he was lying sideways. I think I had the dream before I was in hospital or knew there was a complication.

 

[yoohoo]

I had one like this too regarding my Nan. She was always a well loved, loving, happy, friendly, welcoming kind of person. She passed away a few years ago. I've had the odd dream with her in it which just feel like normal dreams and I've also had a couple which felt more real than a dream where she seemed very happy to see me and couldn't contain how much she loved and missed me but the last dream I had of my Nan quite upset me. In the dream, I was walking around town and decided to drop in to my nan's old house to visit her. I can't remember if I remembered in my dream or not if she had passed away but when I was in her house, I got the impression she didn't want me there. That she hated me. She was very cold towards me! I was in her house for a while but didn't feel comfortable because although she looked like my nan, she didn't resemble her in any of her mannerisms or personality. I was glad when I left.

But since I dreamt it, I can't stop thinking about it. On one hand, I'm worried in case she isn't happy with choices I have made in life but on the other hand, I wonder if it was just a normal dream and my mind remembered that she had dementia in her last few years and concocted up a storyline based on that as that might explain the personality change. She might not have realised who I was in the dream.

 

[catseye]

I had one like this too regarding my Nan. She was always a well loved, loving, happy, friendly, welcoming kind of person. She passed away a few years ago. I've had the odd dream with her in it which just feel like normal dreams and I've also had a couple which felt more real than a dream where she seemed very happy to see me and couldn't contain how much she loved and missed me but the last dream I had of my Nan quite upset me. In the dream, I was walking around town and decided to drop in to my nan's old house to visit her. I can't remember if I remembered in my dream or not if she had passed away but when I was in her house, I got the impression she didn't want me there. That she hated me. She was very cold towards me! I was in her house for a while but didn't feel comfortable because although she looked like my nan, she didn't resemble her in any of her mannerisms or personality. I was glad when I left.

But since I dreamt it, I can't stop thinking about it. On one hand, I'm worried in case she isn't happy with choices I have made in life but on the other hand, I wonder if it was just a normal dream and my mind remembered that she had dementia in her last few years and concocted up a storyline based on that as that might explain the personality change. She might not have realised who I was in the dream.

I have dreamed a lot about my parents since they passed away (I've got a thread about it on here somewhere). In one of my dreams my dad was angry with me (something that happened so rarely in real life as to be almost a noteworthy occurrence). I have dreamed about him since and he was his usual good-natured self. I wondered, afterwards, if I'd put a real-life bad mood that I had been suffering, onto his dream-figure, to help me deal with it because I knew he'd never have objected!

 

[yoohoo]

I have dreamed a lot about my parents since they passed away (I've got a thread about it on here somewhere). In one of my dreams my dad was angry with me (something that happened so rarely in real life as to be almost a noteworthy occurrence). I have dreamed about him since and he was his usual good-natured self. I wondered, afterwards, if I'd put a real-life bad mood that I had been suffering, onto his dream-figure, to help me deal with it because I knew he'd never have objected!

That's a good way of looking at it and has made me feel a bit better about my dream too.

 

[plastic wiganer]

I had a strange dream last night/this morning.
We (myself and my wife) were at my mum and dads house -my dad died just over 3 yrs ago, but he was there - in the background.
There was a knock on the door and my dad let in my mate Mitch - who died last October. my dad and friend never met in life so how my dad knew him is anyone's guess?
All i remember from the rest of the dream is myself being suprised at seeing Mitch and him telling me he had not been around because he'd had a really bad cold. (this is NOT what he died from by the way)
I have been trying to make sense of this dream all day. what the heck does it mean? - if anything??

 

[escargot]

I had a strange dream last night/this morning.
We (myself and my wife) were at my mum and dads house -my dad died just over 3 yrs ago, but he was there - in the background.
There was a knock on the door and my dad let in my mate Mitch - who died last October. my dad and friend never met in life so how my dad knew him is anyone's guess?
All i remember from the rest of the dream is myself being suprised at seeing Mitch and him telling me he had not been around because he'd had a really bad cold. (this is NOT what he died from by the way)
I have been trying to make sense of this dream all day. what the heck does it mean? - if anything??

Seems clear as day to me!
But I'm not you so what seems obvious to me might be all wrong.

 

[catseye]

Last night I dreamed of my recently deceased terrier, Tiggy. I'd gone away and so given her to someone else. When I got back, the person was walking around with a big black mastiff type dog, convinced it was Tigs. I went looking for the 'real' Tiggy, eventually found her in a hole in a bank, with my big cat (Zac, still with us) and an enormous rat. Slipping and sliding in the mud, I picked the dog up and hugged her, she was filthy, muddy and seemed in perfectly good health and spirits.

Her ashes are currently sitting in my kitchen. I have NEVER dreamed of the big dog, who's been gone 2 1/2 years and with whom I had a really special bond. Why this dream, why now, and why this dog (who was technically my son's, but lived with me all her life)?

 

[escargot]

Last night I dreamed of my recently deceased terrier, Tiggy. I'd gone away and so given her to someone else. When I got back, the person was walking around with a big black mastiff type dog, convinced it was Tigs. I went looking for the 'real' Tiggy, eventually found her in a hole in a bank, with my big cat (Zac, still with us) and an enormous rat. Slipping and sliding in the mud, I picked the dog up and hugged her, she was filthy, muddy and seemed in perfectly good health and spirits.

Her ashes are currently sitting in my kitchen. I have NEVER dreamed of the big dog, who's been gone 2 1/2 years and with whom I had a really special bond. Why this dream, why now, and why this dog (who was technically my son's, but lived with me all her life)?

There's a theory, which I like, that all our dreams are about ourselves. So anything you dream about is a symbol of something in your own life.

(In my dreams pets symbolise my family and how I worry about them. Had a dream a while ago about a recently-deceased pet dog who walked in and started talking. We all fell about laughing, taking little notice of what he actually said, which was about going to see a relation. Who had cancer. Brrr.)

Maybe Tiggy symbolises some specific concern about your son? I dunno, it's your dream.

 

[catseye]

Good theory, and one I usually subscribe to largely, but in this instance it seemed very much about that dog if you see what I mean. As if it was very much her I was concerned with, rather than the nebulous 'feelings of fear' that seem to manifest in dreams. My kids are all fine at the moment, in fact I had texted said son just before bed to arrange a meet up, so he was on my mind superficially, but not to dwell on.

And Tigs, bless her, was always just *there* in life, not really my dog, but I cared for her. I wasn't as bonded to her as I have been to previous dogs. Maybe it's my brain just coming to terms with her being gone?

 

[plastic wiganer]

Seems clear as day to me!
But I'm not you so what seems obvious to me might be all wrong.

you cant say that and not tell me.....

 

[escargot]

you cant say that and not tell me.....

OK, wasn't being facetious, just sayin', y'know...

If this were my dream I'd interpret it as being about my mind assimilating the idea of Mitch being gone, just like Dad is. They're both 'there' now, not here. Mitch's death is like Dad's, in that neither of them is here and you miss them.

It's all perfectly natural and normal. We accept and cope with bereavement with the rational bit of our minds, but the irrational, emotional part lags behind and tries to find excuses for the absence of people who've died. It's desperate to comfort us in our pain.

When someone close to me died some time ago I dreamed that he'd actually been away in a boxing tournament. It meant that the raw, primal part of my mind thought he should have fought to stay alive. Not something I might have liked to admit when I was awake.

 

[escargot]

Good theory, and one I usually subscribe to largely, but in this instance it seemed very much about that dog if you see what I mean. As if it was very much her I was concerned with, rather than the nebulous 'feelings of fear' that seem to manifest in dreams. My kids are all fine at the moment, in fact I had texted said son just before bed to arrange a meet up, so he was on my mind superficially, but not to dwell on.

And Tigs, bless her, was always just *there* in life, not really my dog, but I cared for her. I wasn't as bonded to her as I have been to previous dogs. Maybe it's my brain just coming to terms with her being gone?

It's perfectly clear to me what's going on, or what would be, if it were my dream.

 

[plastic wiganer]

OK, wasn't being facetious, just sayin', y'know...

sorry i wasnt having a pop or being nasty, i was genuinely interested in your interpretation!
You most likely are correct in the fact i miss them both (as well as other people gone) i think i must read a bit much into it (if that makes sense) it was the fact that in life my dad and mate never met each other - but in my dream at least - knew each other - which had me wondering.

 

[escargot]

It's not about what happened in the past though. Dad and Mitch are the same now, in that that they're gone.

As I say, it's your dream and you know what's going on.

 

[escargot]

IRL someone close to me died and I have his ashes. Or most of them, as various people took some to scatter at places they'd been to with him.

In the dream someone was asking me where I'd had him buried. I explained that he has no grave, and they replied 'Oh so he was cremated? Are his ashes at the cemetery? My dad's are there. He has a little gravestone. You could do that...' and on and on, not really listening to me.

This is about how I'm coping these days. He's dead, he's gone, he's not drifting around in my dreams, I'm even able to dream about explaining exactly what has been done with his ashes. My heart has finally caught up with my head; I can't grieve any more.

 

[Iris]

I went to visit a friend today and she told me that last week she and her partner had smelled a strange chemically type smell.
They tried to work out what it was and thought that it reminded them of one of her partner's friends that he had often helped.
Anyway they happened to look in the paper and found that he had died and been buried but his sister hadn't put it in the paper until after the funeral or notified any of his friends.

 

[catseye]

Sometimes I wish there was a 'sadness' button...

 

[brownmane]

I had dreams of my maternal grandma for several years after she died. I would dream of her in situations where she was sick or hurt. Not nice.

Finally, one night at bedtime, I had a "chat" with her and found that I felt guilty that I didn't visit her much as she got sicker. She wasn't sick of anything in particular, but I knew she had pain and didn't enjoy life as much any more. I apologized for treating her this way.

Now ocassionally I have dreams with her in them, but she is not central to the dreams and she no longer appears as sick or injured.

 

[AnonyJ]

I periodicallly dream of relatives who've died and when I wake I feel a bit foolish but also smiling inwardly - they were living in my dream for a few minutes, and it was lovely to see them again. Normally it's my dear batty paternal Nan or her son, my dearest uncle who had Down syndrome and whom we lost just a few years ago in his late forties.

On a different level, one of my best friends (who also lived next door) died after a long, totally disabling and extremely painful illness, she was only in her late 30's and was married with two small children. It was, quite frankly, horrendous in every way.

A few days after she died I had a very vivid micro-dream, I was on a beach somewhere warm and sunny and my friend jogged up to me, smiling and with her hair plaited in cornrows. Her words were "it's OK now, I'm well again!" It felt very strongly to me, in my dream, that I was getting a glimpse of another dimension or existence. Perhaps it was heaven. Perhaps it was my brain showing me what I wanted to see. I might find out one day, but whatever I saw and felt I'll treasure it forever.

 

[brownmane]

Shortly after my husband died (one or two days) I had a very short dream where he was standing in front of me. Nothing around us, just space. I told him that I loved him and all I could see was his lips moving and couldn't hear him. I think he looked a little puzzled. I figure that we may have been trying to talk through "the veil".

 

[grimnebulin]

I haven't been back to this thread in a while and I'm delighted it's still going. I want to share a very unsettling dream I had a couple of days ago. In the dream it was me who was dead! I was in a room and yet I felt I wasn't really 'there'. Sorry this doesn't make much sense. In the dream I realised I felt strange and I could float/fly. There was a woman with me and I said "Am I dead? Have I died?" She said 'yes, you choked and stopped breathing." I was absolutely terrified, but at the same time amazed by what I was seeing around me: beautiful countryside with grass and trees, a breeze was rippling the grass and the light was like nothing I've ever seen. The woman took me to where a train was waiting beside the sea. She pointed at the sea and said "look", and I saw the shapes of whales gliding through the water. Then we were on the train travelling through this strange, beautiful countryside. We were the only ones on the train. We arrived at a big grey building, I had the impression it was a hospital. We went inside and there were lots of people wandering around but they didn't seem able to see me. I remember thinking "I'm dead, that means I can see Mum again", but she didn't seem to be there. I was "floating" through the air, doorways and walls sort of melted and rearranged themselves to let me through. I became terrified at the thought that I would never see my children again and I said to the woman with me "I can go back, right? You let people go back?" She looked at me and her face changed in a strange way, she said "We do not concern ourselves with that." Then I was crying, for my Mum, for my children and the sheer sad hopelessness of being trapped here forever. I managed to wake myself up and I have never been so grateful to be alive. It was so vivid and real.

 

[Jacket_Potato]

I haven't been back to this thread in a while and I'm delighted it's still going. I want to share a very unsettling dream I had a couple of days ago. In the dream it was me who was dead! I was in a room and yet I felt I wasn't really 'there'. Sorry this doesn't make much sense. In the dream I realised I felt strange and I could float/fly. There was a woman with me and I said "Am I dead? Have I died?" She said 'yes, you choked and stopped breathing." I was absolutely terrified, but at the same time amazed by what I was seeing around me: beautiful countryside with grass and trees, a breeze was rippling the grass and the light was like nothing I've ever seen. The woman took me to where a train was waiting beside the sea. She pointed at the sea and said "look", and I saw the shapes of whales gliding through the water. Then we were on the train travelling through this strange, beautiful countryside. We were the only ones on the train. We arrived at a big grey building, I had the impression it was a hospital. We went inside and there were lots of people wandering around but they didn't seem able to see me. I remember thinking "I'm dead, that means I can see Mum again", but she didn't seem to be there. I was "floating" through the air, doorways and walls sort of melted and rearranged themselves to let me through. I became terrified at the thought that I would never see my children again and I said to the woman with me "I can go back, right? You let people go back?" She looked at me and her face changed in a strange way, she said "We do not concern ourselves with that." Then I was crying, for my Mum, for my children and the sheer sad hopelessness of being trapped here forever. I managed to wake myself up and I have never been so grateful to be alive. It was so vivid and real.

What a vivid and emotional dream, sounds like one that will stay with you for quite some time

 

[grimnebulin]

yes i think it will, thank you for reading.

 

[Lord Lucan]

Last night it happened again. I dreamed once more of my ex wife and it was most peculiar.
For those who are only just joining this thread, my ex wife and I separated in 1990. We remained mostly on good terms for the remainder of her life. She will have been dead for 10 years on April 16 of this year. She took her own life.
Last night my wife (we've been together for 18 years) and I were travelling from Melbourne to Sydney and spent the night in an inland city called Albury. We have spent the best part of the last 2 weeks attending various trade fairs and were quite tired.
The bed was comfortable and knowing that we could sleep in a little this morning we went to bed not long after midnight and I fell asleep almost immediately.
The only dream I recall from last night was of my ex wife sitting on the corner of the bed asking me about our eldest son. He's a doctor/surgeon and in his final years of specializing. Study & work has taken up so all of his time so much so, that he has taken 6 months off work and is presently travelling around South America for the next 3.
Her presence in the room just seemed so real that whilst I can remember answering her questions about our travelling son, I can remember looking over to make sure that our conversation didn't wake my wife laying next to me.
Upon waking and had the strange sensation that only occurs after one of these dreams happens.
I am still convinced that these are still more of a visitation than a dream. Unlike regular dreams where bizarre things seems ordinary, this is quite the opposite where the ordinary is what is so unsettling.

 

[brownmane]

Sounds like she may have been checking in on your son. He might like to know that your ex was asking how he's doing.

 

[gattino]

As ever my contributions belong in various different threads at once. This one intersects with my posting about the current house guest who shares my late brother's name and has a number of ghostly tales of his own to report.

Well to get to the point this morning i had a dream in which several friends ended up staying in a downstairs bedroom..i come down in the morning and find the front door is unlocked. I'm disturbed by this thinking one of them has been careless. Then i walk into the living room and become aware someone is in the adjoining kitchen. Ok, slight relief, obviously one of my friends is up and about and that's why the door is unlocked. It hadn't been left like that all night after all. Except when i step into the kitchen there, making tea or coffee, is my deceased brother.

What makes the dream stand out, perhaps completely unique for me, is that i had an emotional response to finding him there..that's to say, though his being dead wasn't directly referenced, the general sense of him having returned ,having been far away seemingly never to come back, was deeply felt...a mix of shock, disbelief, amazement, concern etc. He's back, how can this be.

Analysing it the presence of another person with his name and a certain set of expected routines..coming down the stairs, checking the front door is locked or not...would clearly have influenced the dream. And there may be a precognitive element too..my guest was already awake and i heard the kettle boiling in the kitchen, so walked in expecting to find him standing there, but he wasn't. The reverse of the dream scenario.

But still the sense of shock and acknowledgement that my brother had returned from unreturnable place struck me. The dead feature in my dreams regularly, but they're just stock characters in the plot, their being dead is never recognised or commented on. So this felt different.

 

[brownmane]

But still the sense of shock and acknowledgement that my brother had returned from unreturnable place struck me. The dead feature in my dreams regularly, but they're just stock characters in the plot, their being dead is never recognised or commented on. So this felt different.

I thought that I was the only person to dream of dead family and be disturbed (while dreaming) that they have returned when they shouldn't and none of the other dream characters seem to notice that it is not usual behaviour.

My husband died several years ago and I dream that he is alive and living his own life. Because I have had numerous dreams like this, it no longer perturbs me. When I first started dreaming about him, I was quite distressed (dreaming). In one dream I knew that (IRL) I'd had him declared dead and had submitted his last income tax form. I had no idea of how you'd go about declaring someone was alive again. Another time, I'd dreamed that he'd gotten married to another woman...wow was I mad at him! Dreams in which the logical real life events are remembered in an illogical dream life happen to me quite often and they really unsettle me when I am still in the dream state.

 

[Lord Lucan]

I thought that I was the only person to dream of dead family and be disturbed (while dreaming) that they have returned when they shouldn't and none of the other dream characters seem to notice that it is not usual behaviour.

My husband died several years ago and I dream that he is alive and living his own life. Because I have had numerous dreams like this, it no longer perturbs me. When I first started dreaming about him, I was quite distressed (dreaming). In one dream I knew that (IRL) I'd had him declared dead and had submitted his last income tax form. I had no idea of how you'd go about declaring someone was alive again. Another time, I'd dreamed that he'd gotten married to another woman...wow was I mad at him! Dreams in which the logical real life events are remembered in an illogical dream life happen to me quite often and they really unsettle me when I am still in the dream state.

Have you ever felt that your husbands appearance in your dreams have been more than just a dream? A visitation perhaps? Has he ever imparted knowledge to you that has come true? I find instances like those you've described fascinating.

 

[brownmane]

Have you ever felt that your husbands appearance in your dreams have been more than just a dream? A visitation perhaps? Has he ever imparted knowledge to you that has come true? I find instances like those you've described fascinating.

No, currently he is only a character. I don't converse with him in my dreams. The only time I believed we tried to connect was my earlier post 269 on this thread.