Dying Alone & Loners' Unnoticed Deaths

[Swifty]

I've got a fecking alarm, as I told you before.
It may surprise you to know it doesn't prevent death!

And some aneurysms can kill you before you hit the floor, leaving no time to press the button anyway.

You've never told me that you've got an alarm before and I'm glad to hear it ... you fecking fecker ... as we were ...

 

[Mythopoeika]

You two are being alarmist!

 

[Recycled1]

Looking back at your earlier posts , Rynner.........

Surely there is someone you are moderately friendly with, where you live, who is equally solitary?
Could you not come to an arrangement whereby you give each other three rings on the phone at a certain time of the day, and put the phone down?
My mother used this system with a neighbour in a similar situation -no need to have a conversation or spend any money! It just makes sure there is someone who knows you are alive and able to use a phone.

 

[rynner2]

It just makes sure there is someone who knows you are alive and able to use a phone.

I think you're missing the point by a country mile!

I'm not interested in someone knowing I'm alive or not. What's more important is what people could have done to improve my quality of life while I was alive. Sadly the worst offender has predeceased me, so that will never be sorted in this life. But the ripples keep spreading out...

 

[Naughty_Felid]

I think you're missing the point by a country mile!

I'm not interested in someone knowing I'm alive or not. What's more important is what people could have done to improve my quality of life while I was alive. Sadly the worst offender has predeceased me, so that will never be sorted in this life. But the ripples keep spreading out...

Who was that Rynner?

 

[Cultjunky]

Looking back at your earlier posts , Rynner.........

Surely there is someone you are moderately friendly with, where you live, who is equally solitary?
Could you not come to an arrangement whereby you give each other three rings on the phone at a certain time of the day, and put the phone down?
My mother used this system with a neighbour in a similar situation -no need to have a conversation or spend any money! It just makes sure there is someone who knows you are alive and able to use a phone.

Well, we do have a similar deal going on here, should the coastguard thread not get bumped by 10AM, we know there's an issue.

 

[Frideswide]

while I was alive

you're typing this while dead? Truly Fortean!

on the off-chance that you are still alive though, why behave in a way that makes it harder for people who would love to improve your quality of life? huh? huh? huh?

Dunno about the others but you and the coastguard thread and the rest of your stuff contribute to my well being and happiness.

Do you /really/ think I'm going to let you alone and stop badgering you?

 

[Recycled1]

Well, we do have a similar deal going on here, should the coastguard thread not get bumped by 10AM, we know there's an issue.

It's not quite the same, though.
When Rynner's computer played up recently and he wasn't able to post, lots of people here mistakenly thought there was something wrong with HIM!
A land line in sheltered housing is likely to be much more reliable.
(Though I concede he now has a new computer )

 

[Cultjunky]

It's not quite the same, though.
When Rynner's computer played up recently and he wasn't able to post, lots of people here mistakenly thought there was something wrong with HIM!
A land line in sheltered housing is likely to be much more reliable.
(Though I concede he now has a new computer )

I know what you mean. Un/fortunately, all my relatives died before they got old and stubborn, nor were any of them living alone (I am the freak in the family). So my experience of this kind of thing is limited to FOAF and Folklore info. I doubt Rynner will be found in a pool of his own decomposed innards, but, ARE YOU LISTENING RYNNER?, we here on the board wouldn't know, and we care.

 

[ramonmercado]

I suspect this belongs here.

Skeletonized body in the bed, dead cat in the car, disoriented woman on the porch

NJ State Police say a decomposed and partially skeletonized human body was discovered in a Sussex County home Sunday evening and a dead cat was found in the backseat of a car parked outside the residence.

The discovery was made by state troopers who had responded to a Wantage Township home after a farmer working in a nearby field noticed “an unresponsive woman” on the porch of her home and called 911, New Jersey State Police said in a Facebook post.

When police arrived at the location, they found a disoriented elderly woman but she was unable to communicate with them and was later transported to Newton Medical Center for evaluation by the Wantage First Aid Squad. Her name has not yet been released.

Troopers then went inside the home to conduct a check of the residence. When they entered one of the bedrooms, they discovered the human remains on a bed.

“It is currently unknown how long the person may have been there,” state police said in a statement. ...



Read More: Skeletonized body in the bed, dead cat in the car, disoriented woman on the porch | http://nj1015.com/decomposed-human-body-discovered-in-nj-home-by-state-police/?trackback=tsmclip

 

[hunck]

Elderly man's dead body in flat for SIX MONTHS despite council workers calling round to chase rent

Presumably no family & nobody else thought to report it to the Police. He'd stopped paying his rent in October. The council can't enter without a court order but police can.

 

[Yithian]

Unlike button required.

 

[rynner2]

Every time I see the police around this building I don't think some crime is involved, but more likely that they are here for another forced entry - which often has a sad outcome.

 

[Rerenny]

Elderly man's dead body in flat for SIX MONTHS despite council workers calling round to chase rent

Presumably no family & nobody else thought to report it to the Police. He'd stopped paying his rent in October. The council can't enter without a court order but police can.

I live fairly near to that part of Oxford and have had to look at houses there. Bad reputation a few years ago but now the place looks empty (no speeding cars and joyriders left.) No one wandering around, no nearby shops or a natural central place. Residents have no chance, and maybe no inclination, to get together and chat. Zero sense of community and, dare I say it, lots of people who have not long lived in the city/UK. It surprises me not a jot that this poor chap went unnoticed for so long.

I feel for the council, they are damned whatever they do or don't do, although I do think they cocked up on this occasion. The housing officer should have escalated the problem much sooner so as to get the police involved. Many years ago I was having a particularly paranoid moment and locked all access to my property meaning that the postman had to chuck mail over the wall into the garden. They reported that to the police and I nearly had a heart attack when a bunch of officers were suddenly crashing around my garden and banging on the door. In a block of flats there is less chance the postman would notice.

In any case, what a sad and depressing state the country/society has found itself in when an isolated person, living on a large, heavily populated estate in one of the wealthiest cities in England can die and decay surrounded by families and the only hope they might have had to be found sooner is the chance that the postman is observant and conscientious enough to alert the authorities.

 

[Coal]

In any case, what a sad and depressing state the country/society has found itself in when an isolated person, living on a large, heavily populated estate in one of the wealthiest cities in England can die and decay surrounded by families and the only hope they might have had to be found sooner is the chance that the postman is observant and conscientious enough to alert the authorities.

^this^.

It's become the case that if you even so much as knock on the wrong door, you're likely to have "Mind your own effing business" snarled in your face. I politely suggest my (previous) neighbour's music is so loud I can't hear anything else "Mind you own business I can play my music as loud as I like". Ask (politely) the neighbour to consider whether the dogs they shut in the garden howling from 6am every weekday is keeping us awake at all? "Mind you're own business." suggest to the people at end of the terrace that the language they're using at the volume that everyone for half a mile can hear is not appropriate for children? (mine, my neighbours, that is, god spare their toddlers) "Mind your own business" (I'm paraphrasing, my replying paraphrasing was "If I can hear it from 50 yards it is my business"). Then you die alone and no one cares. Not their business is it?

 

[Rerenny]

^this^.

It's become the case that if you even so much as knock on the wrong door, you're likely to have "Mind your own effing business" snarled in your face. I politely suggest my (previous) neighbour's music is so loud I can't hear anything else "Mind you own business I can play my music as loud as I like". Ask (politely) the neighbour to consider whether the dogs they shut in the garden howling from 6am every weekday is keeping us awake at all? "Mind you're own business." suggest to the people at end of the terrace that the language they're using at the volume that everyone for half a mile can hear is not appropriate for children? (mine, my neighbours, that is, god spare their toddlers) "Mind your own business" (I'm paraphrasing, my replying paraphrasing was "If I can hear it from 50 yards it is my business"). Then you die alone and no one cares. Not their business is it?

I sometimes get the feeling that in many places, physical and theoretical (the government's "mind"), that the hideous quote, mantra, belief is: "it's easier to apologise than ask for permission" has infiltrated all aspects of society & government. It's far cheaper to express sorrow than it is to install systems that work for the community at large and, more particularly, for the vulnerable, the sick, the elderly and the outsiders. It takes time, effort, thought, determination and, surprise, surprise, money to have a society that is also a community. Clearly I am not a politician as I don't have the ability to understand that the nation's money should be given to the already obscenely rich and not invested in schemes that support the poor.

I didn't link my reply to your observation of the insularity and ignorant arrogance of some people. I think the link between a country that is not as well supported across the various social groups/classes and some people's ugly attitude is the sense that people have to look out for themselves first and this, combined with poor education (either due to a poverty of able and powerful teachers or a failure to instil a sense of humility in those in more fortunate educational establishments) results in a base selfishness that expresses itself in, well, bad manners.

I was born a long time ago: the past is a foreign country...

 

[Coal]

I didn't link my reply to your observation of the insularity and ignorant arrogance of some people. I think the link between a country that is not as well supported across the various social groups/classes and some people's ugly attitude is the sense that people have to look out for themselves first and this, combined with poor education (either due to a poverty of able and powerful teachers or a failure to instil a sense of humility in those in more fortunate educational establishments) results in a base selfishness that expresses itself in, well, bad manners.

That seems about right. I think the total lack of confidence in the support of the state as you near retirement doesn't help, neither does the overt lack of integrity at the top. In the end, if the 'leaders' take everything they can get (by thing even so base as fiddling expenses) without any sense of propriety, then people will follow the example.

 

[Rerenny]

That seems about right. I think the total lack of confidence in the support of the state as you near retirement doesn't help, neither does the overt lack of integrity at the top. In the end, if the 'leaders' take everything they can get (by thing even so base as fiddling expenses) without any sense of propriety, then people will follow the example.

Absolutely. The only way to win is to cheat. A fundamentally despicable way to live a life but seemingly the only one that gets one anywhere today.

 

[rynner2]

Teacher's body lay undiscovered for considerable time after she became a recluse and died at home
By NeilShaw | Posted: June 17, 2016

The body of a south Devon primary school teacher lay undiscovered for 'a considerable time' after she became a recluse and died alone at home.
Diana Groombridge was found dead at her home on October 2 last year by police who forced entry to the property after concern for her welfare was raised by a neighbour.
An inquest in [?] heard that the cause of death could not be ascertained.

Miss Groombridge, who had been born in Kingsdown near Deal in Kent, was 67 and single.
Her sister, Claire Martin, said in a statement which was read at the inquest that she had worked at Stoke Fleming Primary School for 45 years and also at Marldon Primary School.
She loved to travel and spent time in countries including Turkey where she taught English. She moved back to the UK in 1989 when she was pregnant, and moved in with her father who died in 2001. She subsequently inherited the house.

Miss Groombridge, of Colley End Park in Paignton, had a relationship and planned to marry but this never happened.
Ms Martin said: "She was a very caring person and hated to see people living in poor conditions. She often helped homeless people."

She said the house fell into disrepair but Miss Groombridge turned down offers of help. She said: "Diana's behaviour deteriorated and she became more reclusive. Her daughter lived with us for a while. I last saw Diana in December 2014."

The inquest heard that Miss Groombridge communicated occasionally via notes on the front door.
Sgt John Allenbrook of Devon and Cornwall Police said a neighbour called the police after a note was not removed, suggesting Miss Groombridge had not received it. He forced entry to the property on October 2 last year and found the body of a person who had 'clearly died some time ago'.
Det Sgt Daniel Bickford, who attended the inquest, confirmed the premises had been secure and there was nothing suspicious about the death.

Coroner Ian Arrow recorded an open conclusion. He said: "Sadly it has not been possible to obtain cause of death. She was found on October 2 so that is the day I will record she died."

http://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/tea...died-at-home/story-29412581-detail/story.html

 

[Peripart]

I keep finding myself tempted to click "like" on some of these posts, but stop myself just in time, realising that "like" is probably the last thing I mean. If I do slip, and click that button, rest assured that I mean it as a sympathetic nod, more of a "I hear you", than "like".

These tales are always pretty depressing, but I don't know that this sort of thing is worse now than it's ever been. I'm sure that there were always recluses, people seen as "keeping themselves to themselves", those with mental problems, who died alone and unnoticed, only for neighbours to say, long afterwards, "if only someone had been looking out for them".

 

[rynner2]

A very long article about people who die alone, and about how often little is known about them. It looks at how one such case in Edinburgh was investigated...
'Who were his pals, where did he go?': solving the mysteries of those who die alone
An old man dies in a nursing home, but he isn’t who he seems: can the police piece together the life and death of Mr Lobban?
Mary Paulson-Ellis
Saturday 27 August 2016 11.00 BST

They called him Mr Lobban. That was his name, as far as anyone knew. An elderly gentleman of extreme frailty, who died one late October afternoon in 2012, as the skies darkened and the clocks were about to turn.

The Edinburgh nursing home in which he had lived out his last few years did what they always do when one of their patients is gone. They withdrew from his room and locked the door. Then they called the GP to sign the death certificate and start Mr Lobban on his final journey to the grave.
There was nothing suspicious, nothing untoward. Just a blank on his file in the section marked “next of kin”.

Edinburgh is a small city, a place of roughly half a million people that can feel like a village – scratch beneath the surface and everyone and everything seems connected. Yet there are people every day who die alone or with no apparent family, dead in their bed in a hospital ward or lying face down on their living room floor.

None of us imagines dying without any friends or family nearby. But more and more people live in single-person households. We are living longer, and many of us, inevitably, will outlast every one of those we hold dear.
Public health funerals – those organised and paid for by local authorities – have been on the rise for some years: in November 2015 research by the BBC identified a growth of 11% across the UK since 2009-10. Scotland saw one of the biggest increases: up 28% in just four years.

Having a public health, or indigent, funeral does not necessarily mean there are no next of kin; it could be that those relatives who have been identified are remote, geographically or otherwise. Or perhaps there simply isn’t enough money to pay for the service. Yet, of the 200 or so public health funerals conducted in Edinburgh each year, there will be at least two or three a month where no next of kin have been traced.

When the GP arrived at the nursing home where Mr Lobban had died, she was confident about the cause: extreme frailty, and peripheral vascular disease. Mr Lobban had been old. That was that. But there was one thing that made her pause before signing off the necessary paperwork – Mr Lobban appeared to have two dates of birth. And several names. Enter Mr St John Shurley. Also, Mr Krebs.

In Scotland, cases of unexplained or unexpected death are the responsibility of the Procurator Fiscal’s office – the Crown. As are establishing identity and cause. In practice, it is the police who step in when an investigation is required.

PC Barry Gordon works in Stirling now, but he is Edinburgh born and bred. He is a methodical man. For several years until 2013 he worked in the Edinburgh inquiry team, a group of officers dedicated to dealing with all non-suspicious and unexplained deaths in the city. It’s a very particular kind of work. As Gordon puts it, “There are some strange deaths where, because of the causes of death or where the person is similar to your age, it’s only natural to impose your own feelings on what that might be like.” As his former colleague, detective constable Steven Donaldson says, “It takes time to get used to death.”

It was PC Gordon who took the call about Mr Lobban. It was he and Donaldson – a reflective, insightful man – who tried to establish who Mr St John Shurley was. And Mr Krebs. And how the three were linked.

etc...

https://www.theguardian.com/global/2016/aug/27/solving-mysteries-those-who-die-alone-mr-lobban

A fascinating and thought provoking story. The links with the other names are eventually found, but much more remains a mystery.

"None of us imagines dying without any friends or family nearby." But I do, and it seems the most likely way I will die. There are scraps of information here in the flat about my life, and I don't have other alibis that I've lived under, but there's no-one here that knows me at all closely. Most family and friends have somehow drifted away.

This thread is really about me - but you knew that, didn't you.

 

[Mythopoeika]

This thread is really about me - but you knew that, didn't you.

It doesn't have to be, Rynner.
We are your friends.

 

[uair01]

We would really miss you!

 

[escargot]

It doesn't have to be, Rynner.
We are your friends.

Some years ago when my family suffered a terrible tragedy, and I was personally knocked flat with grief, people I 'knew' online gave me enormous support. I'd never have guessed how kind people could be when I'd never even met them. Calling them friends was not an exaggeration.

 

[Naughty_Felid]

I'm not that fussed if I end up dying on my own as some impromptu cat food.

 

[escargot]

I'm not that fussed if I end up dying on my own as some impromptu cat food.

Oh hell yeah. I reckon when the cats are hungry and I'm lying around dead they'd eat me without a thought. As we have the flap in the back door and all the neighbourhood cats pop in for snacks I'll be reduced to bones in no time.

 

[Mythopoeika]

Oh hell yeah. I reckon when the cats are hungry and I'm lying around dead they'd eat me without a thought. As we have the flap in the back door and all the neighbourhood cats pop in for snacks I'll be reduced to bones in no time.

You sound so reassuring, so positive.

 

[Naughty_Felid]

You sound so reassuring, so positive.

Ultimate eco friendly way to go.

 

[Coastaljames]

Calling them friends was not an exaggeration.

No, I'd agree. I always thinks this shows a real lack of understanding by so many people. I've got some amazing friends that I've never met who've extended me so much love and care it puts "real" ones to shame.

 

[Frideswide]

This thread is really about me - but you knew that, didn't you.

https://dinahtheaspiedinosaur.wordp...aspie-dinosaur-and-the-online-social-network/