Have always regarded myself as a hopeless coward. I'm not even ashamed of it; just the way some of us are made.
But here I am, 2.37 in the morning, alone downstairs, trawling the Forums. This is a townhouse, not very large. 'Downstairs' consists basically of one large living-room/dining room, with a kitchen/laundry/bathroom running at right angles. Have the front door and back doors wide open because it was 34 degrees Celsius here today.
The front door looks out to a very dark, deserted street. Back door looks out on the backyard, behind which there's a half-erected block of apartments (thus deserted) and the very large, black and gloomy rear yard of a rear neighbour. Total blackness at front and back. Admittedly, both the wide-open front and rear doors are fitted with security mesh fly-screens. My only company is a sleeping cat. Although upstairs sleeps the rest of the family.
I've had that charged, vulnerable sensation tingling in my shoulders and back of neck as I've been reading all posts in this thread, and I notice my feet are curled up, plus ankles crossed, so I wouldn't say I'm feeling all that relaxed. I'd jump out of my skin very swiftly, for sure.
Have had quite a few paranormal experiences; well, been scared sh*tless at times, to be honest. Have had a bit of a problem with mirrors from time to time, day or night. And going up the dark staircase after I've turned off all the downstairs lights uses up a lot of my courage, some nights more than others.
But I sleep with the bedroom door wide open, and leave the windows open and blinds up too. That way I have somewhere to escape through. I think my brain would implode if I found myself trapped in a closed room by something. Also, I like to be able to hear -- in case anything attacks the rest of the family. If I closed my bedroom door, I would feel I was turning my back on the others; leaving them to their fate. I always leave a downstairs and upstairs light on at night; always have. I don't think I could sleep in a totally dark house.
If someone wants to lurk outside my house, looking in through the open doors at two in the morning, then they'll have to get past me before they could get in or hurt my family. My plan is to yell at them at the top of my voice, to raise half the neighbourhood. That should scare almost anything away. They don't like exposure. Having said that, should admit that my body always lets me down just when I need it. It freezes and my brain turns to mush and I stop breathing and can't even remember my own name because I'm such a captive to terror and fear. I shake myself almost to bits, literally, and it takes a long, long time before I get back to normal. But I'd rather have a fighting chance of getting through the doors and windows, than hide inside with everything closed up, terrified. It gives too much power to whatever might be stalking you. You end up locking yourself into a smaller and smaller space and your imagination goes wild under those circumstances. Quick route to madness.
A few hours ago, at around midnight, was sitting here totally absorbed, typing, when I heard a voice at the front door -- about four metres away. Looked up with heart jumping off the Richter Scale, to see a disembodied head outside in the dark, behind the front fly-screen door. Heart stop time. Hadn't heard anyone open the gate (noisy) or walk up the path. Heart thudding, I snapped; ' Yes ?'. Turned out to be a pizza delivery guy. At midnight? I was so filled with adrenalin I could hardly speak. He was at the wrong address of course. Gave him directions. As he left, he closed the gate noisily. It doesn't close any other way, so how did he get in? But would rather have seen him through the open door from three metres away, than have the door closed, hear a knock at that time of night and have to risk opening it only to be confronted by something truly horrible. So I guess my strategy is to try to arrange a bit of prior warning.
Can't arrange that with spontaneous paranormal events of course; they're the worst.
All through childhood I was accused of being scared of my own shadow and of being 'overimaginitive'. It's worked to my advantage, I realise now. Because I seem able as a result to ignore a lot of things in the belief my fears (and even experiences) are simply the work of cowardice and imagination. In fact, that would work well in a horror movie; the audience would be biting its nails and ducking its head under a cushion while the character plodded stolidly through the ghouls in the belief they were simply a figment of his imagination.
Locked doors don't stop the worst of things, only living humans. It's the non-human things you can't see until it's too late that are the worry.
But by the sound of many in this thread, we're lucky, very lucky, to live at this particular time in history. Imagine what it would have been like only a hundred years ago, without electric light at the flick of a switch, without taxis and 24 hour shopping, without radios and TVs for 'company'? Imagine the days when there was nothing but blackness after the sun went down? When a trip upstairs or into a cellar meant candles and tall shadows? When toilets were located in dark, lonely places. Imagine walking to work, as our forebears did at four and five in the morning, down alleyways and across fields, with no light at all ... and the same on the return home? Imagine living out on the prairies, in log cabins without window glass, without neighbours, without swiftly lockable cars for escape?
We would have survived though. We would have seen and experienced some truly horrible episodes and in the process we would have grown stronger, braver. So if you see something in a mirror or window late at night, glare back at it, scream at it, or smash the damn glass. Because .... although undoubtedly there are some very strange and 'not nice' interdimensional bastards hovering around us probably a lot of the time ... they still haven't launched an all-out attack on us yet. Instead they try their luck when we're vulnerable, when we're young or old and weak; when we're asleep or suffering a fever, or when we're alone and afraid, or when we don't expect it. Which means they're at least as scared of us as we are of them. So for the moment, while we're in a physical body, they're keeping their distance, staying hidden more often than not. So it's probably best if we learn to stand up for ourselves now, while we can -- and get in a bit of practice -- just in case we need it later. And regardless of your opinion of organised religion, maybe we should at least consider that its been around for a very long time, in one form or another. Nothing is wasted in Nature. A belief in something strong and good -- whatever the form -- is very probably one of mankinds survival mechanisms. I know I've reverted to early Sunday School prayers very quickly and automatically when under threat .. and I think it's made that bit of difference which has pulled me through. Anyway, very late at night and I'm probably talking rubbish.
