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Fake Old People

henry

still speeding
Joined
Oct 23, 2005
Messages
3,794
I was hanging with my 3-year-old daughter in a coffee shop yesterday afternoon - in line waiting to get served at the counter. I was vaguely aware that the person behind us was an old-ish woman. At one point I picked up my daughter and held her in my arms so her face was over my right shoulder, and hence looking at the woman behind us in queue.

It was a Caffe Nero so we waited about 12 or 15 minutes to get served, you know what its like...

After a while of holding my daughter this way she suddenly reacted as she does sometimes when something scares her, she clung a little tighter on to me and turned her head right round to face past me the other way.

I turned to the woman behind me in line, assuming that maybe she had done something or otherwise spooked my little one, or maybe attempted to engage with her or something, as people will sometimes do when a 3-year-old is in the arms of the next person in line.

It was only then that I checked the old woman out properly. She seemed to be in her early 60s, with a faded pink padded housecoat-style coat. Her hair was ginger and wispy and her pink skin very pale. I gave her a quick smile but as I did so I started to see that her hair seemed to be attached to the sides of her head rather than growing naturally... Her face seemed caked in make-up... Above all else, something about her didnt seem old at all.

In response to my smile she said words to the effect that my daughter looks just like me (which cannot be denied, but somehow it works for us both). Her voice had a creaky cracked quality that just seemed too contrived. Daughter #1 was decidely staring in the other direction and remained that way until after we had been served and were sat with our coffee. During that time I checked out the "old womans" shoes - authentic-looking old flats - and she had on thick white socks/winter tights.

There was nothing slovenly about her, although she was dressed pretty down-at-heel and I think this is what sealed it for me. It looked like she had just come from hair-and-makeup as a soap extra, or something similar. Which I guess she could have.

I lost track of her when we sat down and my little one, as sensitive observant and articulate as she is, oh I could go on, refused to be drawn on the matter.
 
Oh, it'll be a PhD sociology student, doing fieldwork for their 'How The Elderly Are Treated In Queues' thesis. ;)
 
I saw the same thing, except it was a teenager at the mall doing a quite a good impression of an old man - what was going on was a scavenger hunt (organized by a Church youth group) and he was one of the people the kids were supposed to spot.
 
It may well have been an old transvestite.
It's amazing how many clueless transvestites make themselves look like old ladies, with their 'granny' wigs and 'old fogey' clothes. :)
 
escargot1 said:
...a PhD sociology student...
A possibility, but with remarkable attention to detail, and she did go out of her way to engage me in conversation so pretty damn sure of herself.

markbellis said:
...a teenager at the mall...
Another maybe, but again it was a pretty convincing get-up, and they were certainly very professional in their masquerade, maybe they thought I was after a clue.

mytho said:
...an old transvestite...
Now, this hadnt crossed my mind until your post, I think because I consider myself pretty sharp on the old TV transmissions front. But now you mention it, this particular Caffe Nero is a couple streets down the way from Manchesters gay village, and I have often seen tranvestites and trans-sexuals in this cafe, pretty much every week or so.

I didnt get the vibe that she was a he though, just that she was trying to make herself appear quite a bit older for some unknown reason.

Maybe I should have posted this in my "minor strangeness"(tm) thread as it seems less fortean now in the cold light of day.

Ahhh, thats it. I was surprised that my daughter had (apparently) picked up on this. That was the thing I was trying to get across in my original post but I kind of lost track of that part. It seemed that the little one had been scrutinising the old woman and become aware of and freaked out by her subterfuge.

It reminded about the (MIB?) thread about weird looking guys with painted-on eyebrows...
 
In college, I vaguely recall reading some kind of memoir, for some sociology or psychology class, about a transvestite who had been trying to 'pass' in public as a woman.

Although it struck me as odd at the time, he said that he never had trouble fooling other adults. They had become so used to seeing what the expected to see, glossing over the little details of life, that they never gave him a second look.

But kids, he said, would 'out' him all the time, asking their parents (in grocery stores, etc) things like, "Mommy, why is he wearing a dress?" And so on.
 
It could even have been an undercover policewoman/man acting elderly as there might have been a spate of pick pocketing in the cafe or muggings of OAP's nearby. Just dont know!
 
She might have been to have portait photographs done. Some studios cake 'normal' people (ie not models) in make-up to do black and white work. Sometimes the 'pan stick' is green! Because of this they tend not to have mirrors in the studios (if you were able to see what you actually looked like you'd scream) so she might not have been able to fully clean the stuff off before leaving.
 
AnthonyClifton said:
In college, I vaguely recall reading some kind of memoir, for some sociology or psychology class, about a transvestite who had been trying to 'pass' in public as a woman.

Although it struck me as odd at the time, he said that he never had trouble fooling other adults. They had become so used to seeing what the expected to see, glossing over the little details of life, that they never gave him a second look.

But kids, he said, would 'out' him all the time, asking their parents (in grocery stores, etc) things like, "Mommy, why is he wearing a dress?" And so on.
Maybe there’s more to the story, but the way it’s put here it just sounds like the adults simply chose not to point and stare. I’m a cross-dresser as well as an all-round weird-outfit person myself, and I’ve seen the extremes people can take this to, especially in crowded spaces like the underground, they will absolutely refuse to acknowledge you’re doing anything out of the ordinary ... as a friend of mine likes to say (when someone has him outdressed), people who seek attention should never be given any. ;)
 
Journalist in the shoes of an old person for the day, or someone in a play, or film?
 
icarusgirl said:
Journalist in the shoes of an old person for the day, or someone in a play, or film?

Quite a lot of journalists are in old person's shoes all the time! Mike Wallace (CBS's 60 minutes) is almost 90 .... there isn't much market expansion in journalism, so a disproportionate number of us are older....
 
That Cafe Nero is also quite near the BBC North building, it's probably someone out for a laugh still in make up
 
Daftbugger1 said:
That Cafe Nero is also quite near the BBC North building, it's probably someone out for a laugh still in make up
The proliferation of caffe neros in manchester, and im sure across the entire nation, is in itself a fortean phenomenon. This one was the gardens at piccadilly, by the fountains, if you know it, not oxford road.
 
HenryFort said:
The proliferation of caffe neros in manchester, and im sure across the entire nation, is in itself a fortean phenomenon.
Luckily, out here in the sticks, this phenomenon has not yet been reported. :D

It's bad enough with McD and Subway muscling in all over.

(My local-to-work bank branch, which was very handy for paying-in on pay day, is now a Subway... :evil: )
 
bosskR said:
AnthonyClifton said:
In college, I vaguely recall reading some kind of memoir, for some sociology or psychology class, about a transvestite who had been trying to 'pass' in public as a woman.

Although it struck me as odd at the time, he said that he never had trouble fooling other adults. They had become so used to seeing what the expected to see, glossing over the little details of life, that they never gave him a second look.

But kids, he said, would 'out' him all the time, asking their parents (in grocery stores, etc) things like, "Mommy, why is he wearing a dress?" And so on.
Maybe there’s more to the story, but the way it’s put here it just sounds like the adults simply chose not to point and stare. I’m a cross-dresser as well as an all-round weird-outfit person myself, and I’ve seen the extremes people can take this to, especially in crowded spaces like the underground, they will absolutely refuse to acknowledge you’re doing anything out of the ordinary ... as a friend of mine likes to say (when someone has him outdressed), people who seek attention should never be given any. ;)

It's the old 'somebody else's problem field' again.
 
Maybe it was a middling to older lady who'd had some kind of illness and invasive treatment like chemo. She may have needed a wig and I often think people who've recently had chemo look a bit older - even Kylie did - until they are properly well again.
 
Ive been looking out for the fake old woman since posting, in fact im in that caffe nero now, lets hear it for T-mobile datacards. Any further sitings will be reported.
 
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