Fortean Headlines

ramonmercado said:

Drunk shouted about '800 years of oppression' to English couple in Cork bar​

https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/courtandcrime/arid-41242435.html

What's the world coming to when we can't even abuse English tourists? Those two were responsible for the Normans, Cromwell, the Black & Tans. Sigh. What a gobshite.
Click to expand...

How did they understand him, as he would obviously reject the gift of the English language?

“ls féidir leat míolra dul abhaile! Tá na céadta bliain caite agat ag cur brú orainn!”

“Aww, look love: A local being colourful!”

maximus otter
 

Female frogs fake their own deaths to get out of sex​


Female frogs have developed a number of ways to get out of sex, including rolling, grunting and even faking their own deaths, scientists have discovered.

The researchers...found that a third of females lay motionless with their limbs outstretched for around two minutes after being mounted by a male.

"To us, it appears as if the female is playing dead, although we can't prove it's a conscious behavior," Dittrich said.

https://www.livescience.com/animals/frogs/these-female-frogs-fake-their-own-deaths-to-get-out-of-sex

Ladies of FTMB, you have the floor...

maximus otter
 
Last edited:

How Indigenous rescuers turned to ayahuasca tea in search for children lost in Amazon jungle​


https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-06...d-to-ayahuasca-rescue-four-children/102493210

Some searchers were ready to leave. But the next morning, 40 days after the crash, an elder reached for what little was left of the yagé and drank it.

Some people take it to connect with themselves, cure illnesses or heal a broken heart.

Elder José Rubio was convinced it would eventually help find the kids, Mr Guerrero said.

Mr Rubio dreamed for some time. He vomited, a common side effect.

This time, he said, it had worked. In his visions, he saw them. He told Mr Guerrero: "We'll find the children today."

...

On day 40, after Elder Rubio took the yagé, the searchers combed the rainforest again, starting from the site where they found the nappies.

His vision had reignited hopes, but as the day went on, searchers returned to base without success. Sadness set in at camp.
 

Five Nigerians jailed for exhuming skull 'to get rich'​

Five men have been jailed for 12 years each in Nigeria after they were convicted of exhuming a human skull.

They had planned to take it to a traditional doctor who said it was needed for rituals that would make them rich.

The men pleaded guilty after being caught with the skull in a bag.

The prosecutor told the court that the men had dug up a body buried three years earlier at a Muslim cemetery in the north-central Niger state.

"They said the herbalist informed and promised all of them that they would share the wealth from the said criminal activity and directed them to look for the human skull," the prosecutor was quoted as saying by the privately owned Daily Punch newspaper.

Security officers had arrested the young men, who are aged between 18 and 28, in early September as they transported the remains to a third party, on the instructions of a traditional doctor.

A court in Minna, the capital of Niger state, declared the men guilty on the charges of criminal conspiracy, trespassing on burial grounds and unlawfully possessing a human skull.

The traditional doctor was not arrested and charged.

From BBC News
 

Doncaster woman thought paragliders were Hamas attacking the city​

A Doncaster woman has become a viral meme after she hit out at paragliders for making her think Hamas was attacking the south Yorkshire city.

According to reports in The Doncaster Free Press, a woman in the village of Armthorpe got a scare from hobbyist paragliders who she spotted above her.

https://www.thelondoneconomic.com/n...gliders-were-hamas-attacking-the-city-361061/

maximus otter
 
maximus otter said:

Doncaster woman thought paragliders were Hamas attacking the city​

A Doncaster woman has become a viral meme after she hit out at paragliders for making her think Hamas was attacking the south Yorkshire city.

According to reports in The Doncaster Free Press, a woman in the village of Armthorpe got a scare from hobbyist paragliders who she spotted above her.

https://www.thelondoneconomic.com/n...gliders-were-hamas-attacking-the-city-361061/

maximus otter
Click to expand...
John Betjeman wrote the line, "Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough" mainly because he couldn't find enough rhymes for Doncaster. Hammas would take one look and assume ISIS had got there first.
 
Ramonmercado a mate of mine has a lot of Northern Irish Catholic family.

When David Moyes was PNE manager she went over to watch some friendlies. In one bar a gobshite started mouthing off to them. The locals said to ignore him

She stood up and in front of everyone asked him, if he wanted them to leave, then bring his Sinn Fein rep in. If he wanted them to leave, they would go. He shut up immediately.

On her way out she whispered in his ear 'you haven't got a clue who you are talking to'. She said he nearly shit his pants. I hope this isn't a seen as a political post, it just makes me chuckle. If it is deemed to be, I apologise
 
Mythopoeika said:
This makes the news over there?
'Man from Cork gets driving licence' will be the next headline.
Click to expand...

But why did he have to undergo drug tests in the first place? Did he say he needed the gun to fight off Triffids?

I know a Cork Tree Surgeon, I was relieved to learn that he hadn't been granted the license.
 
In these times we resort to these kinds of conspiratorial rumour :)

Rumors are that the Crew onboard the USS Gerald R. Ford (CVN-78) in the Eastern Mediterranean have been served Steak & Lobster tonight for Dinner which is usually reserved for either Holidays (Which today isn’t) or News which is expected to Lower the Crew’s Morale like a Deployment Extension or possible something else.

1697968202836.png
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top