Fortean Headlines

Mythopoeika

I am a meat popsicle
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Once comment said that Mr Bozward (what a wonderfully Dickensian name!) might well be a nice chap but he looks like the ghost of a monkey.
Holy sh*t! He does too.
Looking at those two, I'm guessing that lifestyle may play some part in their illnesses. He doesn't look like a man who gets much sleep.
 

Shady

Mary Queen of Scots...temping as DEATHS Kitty
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So what if she has lost a leg and has diabetes and whatnot, that does not entitle them to a freeby, cheeky gits, and if he loves her surely he would be hugging her,not crouched at the side of her like she is some weird monument he has discovered out walking one day.
 

Bigphoot2

Not sprouts! I hate sprouts.
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No, it's not what you think.

Edinburgh Zoo has denied it employs a penguin erector
by Press Association
August 21 2018, 9.58am

Edinburgh Zoo has debunked the myth that it employs a ‘penguin erector’ (Victoria Jones/PA)
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Edinburgh Zoo has dispelled rumours that it has a “penguin erector”.


The rumour that someone was employed by the Scottish zoo to pick up birds that fall over while looking at planes took hold thanks to a tweet that went viral over the weekend.



[email protected]
https://twitter.com/shalaylaa/status/1031183037462208513

Boy in the pub was telling me his job is a penguin erector so every time a plane flys over Edinburgh zoo the penguins can’t take their eyes off it and end up falling over n he just goes round picking them back up, 38 penguins 2000 flights a day




But while the tweet captured the imagination of fellow Twitter users, the zoo shattered everyone’s illusions by confirming the myth isn’t in fact true.


etc...
https://www.thecourier.co.uk/news/u...-zoo-has-denied-it-employs-a-penguin-erector/
 

uair01

Justified & Ancient
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catseye

For the greater good
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The whole story is a bit nuts, but the headline sums it up.

View attachment 11099

Full Tale:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ulance-one-legged-wife-holiday-Blackpool.html

Once comment said that Mr Bozward (what a wonderfully Dickensian name!) might well be a nice chap but he looks like the ghost of a monkey.
They got married in 1980, yet they've been married for 41 years?

Maybe if their maths was a little better they'd be able to work out that, if they can't afford to buy an ambulance, they can't afford to fit it out as a camper van either.
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
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At face value this one sounds like something from the Weekly World News - perhaps a piece from the facing page opposite the latest Bat Boy sighting ...

I sang opera while surgeons removed my brain tumour

It's actually an interesting account of an operatically-trained stand-up comedian maintaining the requisite banter with her surgical team during an 8-hour surgery ...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-45269964
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
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At face value this one sounds like something from the Weekly World News - perhaps a piece from the facing page opposite the latest Bat Boy sighting ...

I sang opera while surgeons removed my brain tumour

It's actually an interesting account of an operatically-trained stand-up comedian maintaining the requisite banter with her surgical team during an 8-hour surgery ...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-45269964
Haha ! tough girl :cool: .. the last time I was an inpatient, I went down to meet 'The Breakfast Club' (us patients who'd sneak out for a smoke at the front of the hospital and we all sat on a weird sculpture) and we met some young woman who was the spitting image of Tank Girl, clothes and all except with blonde dreadlocks:

atankgirl.jpg ... except she had a blood bag hanging off her head (neck? .. I can't remember exactly but it was somewhere 'wrong' above her shoulders) because she'd just come out of surgery, turns out she was a kick boxing instructor and one of her student had landed a lucky kick .. so she'd come round, come outside for a fag and told me that the surgeons said they'd never seen anyone come round so quickly after the surgery she'd just had .. she'd refused to stay in bed because she wanted a fag and then she wanted to go home and see her daughter. There's some tough fuckers about ..
 

Xanatic*

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People are often kept awake during brain surgery. The brain has no pain receptors, and it helps make it obvious if the surgeons do something wrong.
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
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Spock's Fictional Home Planet Discovered :vulc:

Explanation:

Gene Roddenberry once declared that if Spock's fictional home planet Vulcan did exist, it would probably orbit the star called 40 Eridani A. Astronomers have now found this star does have a planet.
 

maximus otter

Recovering policeman
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...Mr Bozward (what a wonderfully Dickensian name!) might well be a nice chap but he looks like the ghost of a monkey.
She isn't very hard to please.”

We inferred that from your picture. Mr. B.

Other FTMB members may be feeling much sympathy for the Bozwards. I, however, have dealt with their like a thousand times, and all l can think about is how they and their environment must smell. Euw!

maximus otter
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
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We've all been there.

The experience.

Not her vagina.
It could have been worse, it could have been her husband's head:

“The woman told me that her husband had fallen and that his head was now stuck in her vaginal cavity. I really thought that it was a group of teenagers making a prank call.”

https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/co...-man-gets-his-head-stuck-in-his-wifes-vagina/

... makes a change from the bloke hoovering in a loosely fitting dressing gown excuse.
 
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