Fortean Headlines

Mythopoeika

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EnolaGaia

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Works for me ... Here's the text of the news item - such as it is ...

Deputies say a man had three syringes in his rectum while being searched at the Pinellas County Jail.

When Wesley Scott, 40, pulled the syringes from his rectum, deputies said Scott told them they were not his and he didn't know how they got there.

Scott had just been arrested on a warrant for a previous drug charge. Deputies say he's now facing an additional charge of introducing/possessing contraband in a county detention facility.
 

GNC

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The urbane movie star of the 1930s and 40s, William Powell, was cured of rectal cancer when doctors administered radioactive needles to the area. He lived for many more years. Anyway, could this be a medical treatment? Or is the guy so out of it that he doesn't remember doing it to himself? Or a liar?
 

Lord Lucan

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hunck

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Florida man says syringes found in his rectum aren't his
Pinellas County deputies said the man told them the syringes weren't his and he doesn't know how they got there.

Incredibly Short Story:
https://www.wtsp.com/article/news/w...t-his/67-8e3d83f3-63a9-4142-abcd-12fc72a59d3d
Do we know whether the syringes were full of scag or something, or empty? And presumably needles weren't fitted...

It's certainly unfortunate that someone inserted them in the poor mans arse without his knowledge. Shit happens.
 

Shady

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Can you imagine if he farted while he was bending over
 

AlchoPwn

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Mythopoeika

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Hey, wait a minute. How come Satan was in heaven? I am pretty sure Satan was cast out of heaven, never to return. So that means the pastor never went to heaven, he just thought he did, which leaves the question of who exactly he just admitted to murdering.
He must have killed God. Uh-oh...

Edit: Lord Lucan quoted it wrongly. The article says 'went to hell'...
 

EnolaGaia

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... The article says 'went to hell'...
This made me wonder whether it meant the pastor:

- traveled to the Underworld of the Damned
... versus ...
- completely 'lost it' or 'broke down'

... though these are not mutually exclusive interpretations. :thought:
:evillaugh:
 

Lord Lucan

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Unfortunately the title has been corrected.
Most unfortunate. I should have taken a screen capture because aside from the silliness of the headline in the first place, it was the irony of where he went to commit his heroic deed that had me laughing.
 

AlchoPwn

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I did a search to see if this headline from 2014 had been reported on here, however it appears to have been overlooked: Ragtag Team of Rogue Chihuahuas Terrorizing Arizona Town
Apparently, they chased children and defecated everywhere. My niece had one, it was a snarling, vicious little beast.
The Aztecs knew the answer. Them's eatin' dogs. Just catch 'em and cook 'em. Fill your burrito with dead nuisance animal. I knew of a cat who killed a chihuahua because it thought it was a rat. I also know a mortifying story of a woman who sat on and killed one during a "meet-the-fiancee's-parents" dinner.
 
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