Fortean Headlines

[EnolaGaia]

Massive Prehistoric Crocodile “Swamp King” Emerges From South East Queensland

Spoiler: THE REAL STORY

A prehistoric croc measuring more than five metres long — dubbed the ‘swamp king’ — ruled south eastern Queensland waterways only a few million years ago.

University of Queensland researchers identified the new species of prehistoric croc — which they named Paludirex vincenti — from fossils first unearthed in the 1980s. ...

FULL STORY: https://scitechdaily.com/massive-pr...wamp-king-emerges-from-south-east-queensland/

 

[IbisNibs]

Invisible 'arches of chaos' span the solar system

Invisible? It's not like we haven't noticed it.

 

[uair01]

Larry the Nr.10 cat almost catches a pigeon on front of the press crew:

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1342026302845579264

 

[IbisNibs]

He wanted a tidbit for Christmas dinner, maybe.

 

[maximus otter]

How Bra-wearing Pigeons Saved Thousands of Lives During WWII

In December 1944, undergarment manufacturer Maidenform ditched peddling their usual wares in favor of a government contract to make 28,500 pigeon vests, according to the National Museum of American History.

The vests themselves could be attached to American paratroopers and were made out “of porous materials, with a tighter woven fabric underneath so the pigeon’s claws would not damage the mesh,” the NMAH wrote. “The vest was shaped to the body of the pigeon, leaving their head, neck, wing tips, tail, and feet exposed.”

https://www.militarytimes.com/off-d...ing-pigeons-saved-thousands-of-lives-in-wwii/

maximus otter

 

[kamalktk]

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?


https://defector.com/what-did-we-get-stuck-in-our-rectums-last-year

 

[uair01]

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?


https://defector.com/what-did-we-get-stuck-in-our-rectums-last-year

Oh yes:

PLAYING WITH PHONE AND FELL ASLEEP WHEN HE WOKE UP HIS STYLUS WAS IN HIS URETHA.

WAS SQUATTING IN THE SHOWER WHEN HE GOT A SMALL BOTTLE STUCK IN HIS RECTUM

On the other hand, I can relate to the troubles of constipation:

PATIENT REPORTS INSERTING A DEODORANT SPRAY CAN INSIDE HIS RECTUM LAST NIGHT AS HE WAS CONSTIPATED

As described in graphic literary detail here:
https://forums.forteana.org/index.php?threads/toilet-talk.29160/post-1861315

 

[Mythopoeika]

PATIENT REPORTS INSERTING A DEODORANT SPRAY CAN INSIDE HIS RECTUM LAST NIGHT AS HE WAS CONSTIPATED

Everybody does that when they're constipated, right?

 

[IbisNibs]

I thought that everybody does that just before they get constipated. Must wreak havoc on the plumbing when you can finally go again.

 

[Lord Lucan]

Well, this is one way to begin a new year:

Man gets drunk and legally changes name to Celine Dion

A Celine Dion super fan who drunkenly changed his name to hers says he is in no rush to change it back.

Thomas Dodd had too much to drink while watching the Canadian singer's concert over Christmas and days later paid £89 as he officially took her name.

Luckily his Heart Will Go On as he and all his mates can see the funny side although maybe he will Think Twice next time.

It's All Coming Back to Thomas, aged 30, a hospitality manager from Clifton Campville near Tamworth and Lichfield, who said: "I am slightly obsessed with her, I’m not going to lie.

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/news...gally-changes-name-to-celine-dion/ar-BB1coESa

 

[kamalktk]

Well, this is one way to begin a new year:

Man gets drunk and legally changes name to Celine Dion

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/news...gally-changes-name-to-celine-dion/ar-BB1coESa

His heart will go on.

 

[Cloudbusting]

Well, this is one way to begin a new year:

Man gets drunk and legally changes name to Celine Dion

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/news...gally-changes-name-to-celine-dion/ar-BB1coESa

Bet he wished he'd thought twice before doing that.

 

[Trevp666]

Surely, to be correct, the original article should be written thusly?

A Celine Dion super fan who drunkenly changed his name to hers says he is in no rush to change it back.
Celine Dion had too much to drink while watching the Canadian singer's concert over Christmas and days later paid £89 as he officially took her name.
(etc)

 

[Bad Bungle]

Surely, to be correct, the original article should be written thusly?

A Celine Dion super fan who drunkenly changed his name to hers says he is in no rush to change it back.
Celine Dion had too much to drink while watching the Canadian singer's concert over Christmas and days later paid £89 as he officially took her name.
(etc)

As far as I can work this out, he paid £8.99 for a name change by deed poll (I just googled it) and then before sobering up, he must have applied for name changes on 8 documents (driving licence, insurance, council tax, bank account, NI, utilities etc) at £10 each. Just the gender re-designation to go so he can insist on being referred to as Ms Celine Dion. The real mystery to me is why anyone would openly admit to being a Dion fan.

 

[Mythopoeika]

As far as I can work this out, he paid £8.99 for a name change by deed poll (I just googled it) and then before sobering up, he must have applied for name changes on 8 documents (driving licence, insurance, council tax, bank account, NI, utilities etc) at £10 each. Just the gender re-designation to go so he can insist on being referred to as Ms Celine Dion. The real mystery to me is why anyone would openly admit to being a Dion fan.

He can't have been that drunk, to have made the effort of doing so many things. It must have been deliberate - the 'I was drunk at the time' excuse won't wash with me.

 

[Trevp666]

The real mystery to me is why anyone would be a Dion fan.

 

[Bad Bungle]

He can't have been that drunk, to have made the effort of doing so many things. It must have been deliberate - the 'I was drunk at the time' excuse won't wash with me.

Stone cold sober I can't find my insurance papers (car and bike), driving licence, NI number, Bank account details, Premium bonds, Broadband account, Eon account, Council tax, Birth Certificate etc. Can't even find the TV remote.

 

[Mythopoeika]

Stone cold sober I can't find my insurance papers (car and bike), driving licence, NI number, Bank account details, Premium bonds, Broadband account, Eon account, Council tax, Birth Certificate etc. Can't even find the TV remote.

Wow, even I can find some of those things!

 

[Bad Bungle]

Wow, even I can find some of those things!

Could you tell me where I put them please ?

 

[Lord Lucan]

New Years Eve hijinx ended in a hairy situation...

Man arrested for roaming streets dressed as werewolf to scare people on New Year’s Eve in Pakistan

Police in Pakistan have detained a man who was riding through city streets dressed as a werewolf to scare people on New Year's Eve.
The man is a resident of Peshawar city’s Moti neighbourhood and was detained by Shah Qabool police for allegedly making roaring noises at people while riding his motorcycle, a report by Pakistan’s Samaa News stated.

The city police has filed an initial chargesheet against the individual, who has not yet been identified, and say they are investigating his motives for the act.
Pictures of the man, posing with the police in one and riding his motorcycle in the other, attracted a mixture of reactions on social media. Journalist Omar R Quraishi posted one of the pictures on Twitter, where the man can be seen standing with handcuffs next to two police officers, still wearing his full-face werewolf mask.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/pakistan-man-werewolf-mask-b1781235.html

 

[GNC]

Inspired by this?

There's nothing new under the sun.

 

[Tempest63]

New Years Eve hijinx ended in a hairy situation...

Man arrested for roaming streets dressed as werewolf to scare people on New Year’s Eve in Pakistan
View attachment 33443

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/pakistan-man-werewolf-mask-b1781235.html

I hope this gets submitted to the magazine.

 

[Bad Bungle]

New Years Eve hijinx ended in a hairy situation...

Man arrested for roaming streets dressed as werewolf to scare people on New Year’s Eve in Pakistan
View attachment 33443

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/pakistan-man-werewolf-mask-b1781235.html

At least he is wearing a mask.

 

[Lord Lucan]

Fortean Headlines, Weird Sex or the corpse tampering thread? This one covers all three...

Morgue worker arrested after giving birth to a dead man’s baby

Kansas City, MO | A 26-year-old morgue worker was arrested this morning after a DNA test revealed that her newborn child was the result of a necrophiliac intercourse with a man she was supposed to autopsy.
Jennifer Burrows, an assistant pathologist with the Jackson County medical examiner services, is accused of having sex with dozens of corpses over the course of the last two years, a behavior which led the birth of a baby boy on January 7.

According to the Kansas City Missouri Police Department, her baby is the son of a man who died in a car accident in March 2017, and whose body she was supposed to autopsy. They allege that Ms. Burrows sexually abused more than 60 other dead bodies, belonging to males aged from 17 to 71 years of age.

http://personcountysportsnow.com/morgue-worker-arrested-after-giving-birth-to-a-dead-mans-baby/

 

[Trevp666]

How is that even possible?

 

[Xanatic*]

Perhaps someone could contact that Ask A Mortician woman about this. She can tell us wether it could be true.

 

[IbisNibs]

Did she want a dead man's baby? No commitment necessary I guess—except to the child! What ever happened to going to bars? Two years ago that would have been possible, going to a bar to get knocked up. Sheesh!

 

[EnolaGaia]

Did she want a dead man's baby? No commitment necessary I guess—except to the child! ...

On the other hand, there's little risk of custody issues or battles for a child of a deceased person born after the deceased's death and without the deceased's knowledge or consent.

 

[IbisNibs]

Without the deceased's knowledge or consent? Here's a good opportunity to test that Ouija board!

 

[Min Bannister]

It's a hoax. It got posted on the weird sex thread.

https://forums.forteana.org/index.php?threads/weird-sex.19529/page-168#post-2005119