Fortean Headlines

[Mikefule]

The real mystery to me is why anyone would be a Dion fan.

I liked a lot of his early stuff: Runaround Sue, I Wonder Why, A Teenager in Love, Donna the Prima Donna...

 

[Trevp666]

Wrong Dion! And don't start with songs by Dionne Warwick either. I'm not having it.
You'll never get to heaven if you do that.
But i'll say a little prayer for you.
So make it easy on yourself and walk on by.

 

[kamalktk]

India to start mammoth vaccination drive on January 16

I knew they had elephants....

https://news.yahoo.com/india-start-mammoth-vaccination-drive-135432189.html

 

[Trevp666]

Meanwhile, as everyone is looking at 'other news'.....

dailystar.co.uk/news/weird-news/special-sas-unit-been-trained-23291405

 

[Mythopoeika]

I'm not sure even the SAS would last 5 minutes against aliens, but hey-ho - at least they are bullish.

 

[Trevp666]

Well, in the event of an alien getting stroppy, I think I'd rather send the SAS than the local council 'street warden' TBH.

 

[ramonmercado]

I'm not sure even the SAS would last 5 minutes against aliens, but hey-ho - at least they are bullish.

The Catering Corps could fling flying saucers at them.

 

[Trevp666]

I was going to make some kind of gag about the catering corps having 'rocket' but I couldn't get the various bits of the joke to come together in a usable way.

 

[kamalktk]

I'm not sure even the SAS would last 5 minutes against aliens, but hey-ho - at least they are bullish.

Are you saying they wouldn't like the anal probing, or they'd really like the anal probing?

 

[IbisNibs]

I was going to make some kind of gag about the catering corps having 'rocket' but I couldn't get the various bits of the joke to come together in a usable way.

Are you saying you made a hash of it?

 

[blessmycottonsocks]

French woman struggles to prove that she isn't dead:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2...s-three-years-trying-to-prove-she-is-not-dead

 

[catseye]

Meanwhile, as everyone is looking at 'other news'.....

dailystar.co.uk/news/weird-news/special-sas-unit-been-trained-23291405

View attachment 33709

My colleague and I were having an argument about whether this, or 'A Shot In The Ma'am' was the worst headline of the day.

 

[Lord Lucan]

Found on Reddit. Not particularly Fortean but made me laugh. Perhaps a sign of these modern times...

‘Your C*** is Mine Now’ – Hacker Takes Over Internet-Connected Chastity Cages, Demands Ransom

Even for a hardcore BDSM fan, this is one nightmare you don’t want to experience.

Being the victim of blackmail is a harrowing experience. Having to pay someone to keep your secrets secret can not only drain you financially, but also have a significant negative mental impact.

But toward the end of last year, one hacker took the concept of blackmail to a whole new level. They really had their victims by the ‘nads – literally.

Let’s start by introducing you to a delightful little device called the Cell Mate. It’s a Bluetooth-enabled male chastity cage.

How it works is, well… You put it around your dingdong. Then, due to its Bluetooth capability, your partner (or whoever you gave the access code to) can lock it in place remotely with a smartphone app.

Chastity cages are relatively popular toys in the BDSM community. And as far as these things go, Cell Mate seems to be a state-of-the-art product – the manufacturer’s website says it’s waterproof for bathing, has smooth edges for less chafing, and can be locked or opened from anywhere in the world.

https://www.oddee.com/your-c-is-min...onnected-chastity-cages-demands-ransom-56402/

 

[IbisNibs]

Chastity cages? Cages?

 

[Peripart]

I was going to make some kind of gag about the catering corps having 'rocket' but I couldn't get the various bits of the joke to come together in a usable way.

Lettuce have a go, then!

 

[Peripart]

French woman struggles to prove that she isn't dead:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2...s-three-years-trying-to-prove-she-is-not-dead

You'd think that the mere act of struggling would convince most people.

 

[Mikefule]

You'd think that the mere act of struggling would convince most people.

Hmm. I'm reminded of "Mr Desiato is spending a year dead for tax reasons." (Douglas Adams, Hitch Hiker's Guide series)

I've spent a lot of my life dealing with claims, allegations, and litigation, disputes between employees and employers, and with small business owners. Almost every small business owner is a self-professed lawyer and master tactician. They seem able to imagine legal rights on the spur of the moment and then consider those rights to be inalienable and indisputable

It would not surprise me if it were to come to light that she had found it convenient not to challenge being declared as deceased at the time, assuming wrongly that it would be easy to overturn. It would not surprise me to find that the legal system suspects this and is playing Dickie Daft.

 

[IbisNibs]

It would not surprise me to find that the legal system suspects this and is playing Dickie Daft.

Except in France they have to play François Fou.

 

[kamalktk]

The medieval Feast of the Ass isn’t as filthy as it sounds

https://aux.avclub.com/the-medieval-feast-of-the-ass-isn-t-as-filthy-as-it-sou-1846055470

 

[kamalktk]

Colombia’s ‘cocaine hippos’ must be stopped, scientists warn


https://nypost.com/2021/01/17/colombias-cocaine-hippos-must-be-stopped-scientists/

 

[Analogue Boy]

Injured dog owner spends £300 on X-Rays and vets for his limping lurcher Bill- only to learn he was only copying him out of sympathy.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9159467/Limping-dog-copies-injured-owner-sympathy.html

 

[EnolaGaia]

Scientists Have Described a Dinosaur's Butthole in Exquisite Detail

https://forums.forteana.org/index.php?threads/dinosaurs-new-findings-theories.23451/post-2028777

 

[Trevp666]

Nice to see that despite the global pandemic that essential dinosaur arse research is still going ahead.

 

[GNC]

Nice to see that despite the global pandemic that essential dinosaur arse research is still going ahead.

When the cockroaches take over in a few years' time, they'll be doing research on human arses, I'll bet.

 

[Xanatic*]

Sure you mock, but for paleontologists it isn't easy to tell a fossilised dino ass from a hole in the ground.

 

[Analogue Boy]

Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina-scented candle explodes into flames causing an ‘inferno’ in a woman’s living room

https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowb...ow-vagina-candle-explodes-womans-living-room/

 

[Ogdred Weary]

Nice to see that despite the global pandemic that essential dinosaur arse research is still going ahead.

Hopefully conducted at a safe social distance.

 

[Trevp666]

Maybe in an area that was ring-fenced

 

[hunck]

Injured dog owner spends £300 on X-Rays and vets for his limping lurcher Bill- only to learn he was only copying him out of sympathy.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9159467/Limping-dog-copies-injured-owner-sympathy.html

I'm not going to follow the link as I suspect I'll be lured into clicking on bikini-ready bodies & Amanda Holden photographed spontaneously whilst washing her car at home wearing skimpy shorts & top even though it's January. She has an outdoor heated area with built-in lighting in case any photographers should just turn up.

Can someone fill me in as to how they came to this conclusion? Was it just the fact they couldn't find any injury or did the dog walk normally when out with other people? I like the idea of a sympathetic dog who adopts a limp to keep his owner company.

 

[Trevp666]

Amanda Holden photographed spontaneously whilst washing her car at home wearing skimpy shorts and top

I know...disgraceful behaviour.
(BTW do you have a link to that for...er.....research purposes ?)