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Fortean Headlines

Three mysterious urns washed up on Dutch beaches.
They contained ashes and the names of three recently deceased Germans.
A boat that organized "ash scattering trips" had lost them when a box toppled.

Bonus: Get scattered overboard twice!
 
A man who was threatened with violence from the "criminal circuit" has been banned for two weeks from his own city by the mayor for reasons of "public safety". Huh? Shouldn't you ban the people who threatened him?
ban.jpg
 
Hey, wait a minute. How come Satan was in heaven? I am pretty sure Satan was cast out of heaven, never to return. So that means the pastor never went to heaven, he just thought he did, which leaves the question of who exactly he just admitted to murdering.
He must have killed God. Uh-oh...

Edit: Lord Lucan quoted it wrongly. The article says 'went to hell'...
 
... The article says 'went to hell'...

This made me wonder whether it meant the pastor:

- traveled to the Underworld of the Damned
... versus ...
- completely 'lost it' or 'broke down'

... though these are not mutually exclusive interpretations. :thought:
:evillaugh:
 
Unfortunately the title has been corrected.

Most unfortunate. I should have taken a screen capture because aside from the silliness of the headline in the first place, it was the irony of where he went to commit his heroic deed that had me laughing.
 
I did a search to see if this headline from 2014 had been reported on here, however it appears to have been overlooked: Ragtag Team of Rogue Chihuahuas Terrorizing Arizona Town
Apparently, they chased children and defecated everywhere. My niece had one, it was a snarling, vicious little beast.
renderTimingPixel.png

The Aztecs knew the answer. Them's eatin' dogs. Just catch 'em and cook 'em. Fill your burrito with dead nuisance animal. I knew of a cat who killed a chihuahua because it thought it was a rat. I also know a mortifying story of a woman who sat on and killed one during a "meet-the-fiancee's-parents" dinner.
 
The stories behind a lot of these headlines would make for legit topics worth discussing on other threads.
 
Hyperactive Thames eels found to have ingested cocaine from the polluted capital's water supply:

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/tech...d-capitals-water-supply/ar-BBSuO6s?ocid=ientp

"Concentrations of cocaine and benzoylecgonine remained high in wastewater across the week with only a minor increase over the weekend, which is not consistent with other cities," they added, which meant Londoners appear to be on it 24/7"
 
So, tell me, how come London is able to afford this blizzard of cocaine with brexit looming? Are you all out there snorting Columbia round the clock? What is cocaine going for in the streets of the Old Smoke anyhow? Tuppence? Feel free to PM me if you don't wish to mention prices publically. My interest is purely out of curiosity, and because I am interested in the economics of prohibitions.
 
Street level about £50-£80 a gram - depending on quality.

Now that the eels are hooked it's only going to increase demand.
 
Now that the eels are hooked it's only going to increase demand.
Is it suddenly illegal to catch, powder and snort the eels? Sounds like a work-around. I am surprised no enterprising chemist has figured out how to filter the coke out of the Thames and re-sell it.
 
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