• We have updated the guidelines regarding posting political content: please see the stickied thread on Website Issues.

Funeral Fails & Foul-Ups (Not IHTM)

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
Joined
Sep 15, 2013
Messages
33,608
Already been extensively raked-over at this link
http://forum.forteantimes.com/index.php?threads/porn-shown-at-funeral.60816/

and...http://forum.forteantimes.com/index...t-make-you-go-wtf.26340/page-221#post-1562071

I think it would be fair to say that the conclusion of FTMB on this matter was fevered conjecture, underpinned by the frustration that since our own vicar was there, we should all have been able to give an authoritative insight on the topic to any ill-informed muggles at work (you know, whilst queuing at the watercooler to fill-up our paddling pools, or, standing at the back door to the office, smoking our screens).

Everyone claims never to have seen porn, or understand it, or even to know what it is. Especially when whispering on consecrated ground, eating sausage rolls.

But we still await the full denouement to this (a link to a heavily-pixelated YouTube video of the actual porn that was accidently-narrowcast to the funeral party)

And please: no jokes about stiffs. Or condoms in coffins.

ps could this be made into a musical theatre production? Get Webber & Rice on the phone, now
 
Last edited:
Hashish served in the customary post-funeral coffee and snack didn't help with the grieving this time ...
German restaurant accidentally serves hash cake at funeral

Police say a funeral in eastern Germany ended on an involuntary drug high when mourners were accidentally served hash cake.

Rostock police said Tuesday after the burial in Wiethagen, the funeral party went to a restaurant for coffee and cake, as is customary in Germany. But after eating the cake, 13 people experienced nausea and dizziness and needed medical treatment.

A police investigation revealed that the restaurant employee in charge of the cakes had asked her 18-year-old daughter to bake them. However, the mother accidentally took the wrong cake from the freezer to the funeral. She took a hash cake that the teenager had made for a different occasion.

Police said the 18-year-old is under investigation.

The incident happened in August but wasn’t published earlier out of respect for the mourners.
SOURCE: https://apnews.com/4126cbac3e3b4494a1a5e42832e06e22
 
I thought that stuff was supposed to alleviate nausea.
 
I thought that stuff was supposed to alleviate nausea.

It affects people differently. Maybe people gravitate towards it who get some of the alleged benefits. I know of one person, at least, who finds it just makes him want to sit on the toilet, expecting an event which does not always arrive. No cool visual or sonic enhancements included. :mad:
 
It affects people differently. Maybe people gravitate towards it who get some of the alleged benefits. I know of one person, at least, who finds it just makes him want to sit on the toilet, expecting an event which does not always arrive. No cool visual or sonic enhancements included. :mad:

He's confused senapods with sensimilla.
 
A Traditional Tyrone Funeral

Strabane: Three arrests and 13 hatchets seized after funeral fight


_111062313_strabanefuneral3.png
Image copyrightPSNIImage captionThe weapons seized by police in Strabane

Three men have been arrested in Strabane and a number of weapons seized following a disturbance at a funeral service in the County Tyrone town. The men, aged 22, 32 and 17, were arrested following the service at a church in Melmount Road on Thursday. A number of weapons including Stanley knives and hatchets were seized. Police said there was no evidence shots were fired during the service at St Mary's Church and no reports of any serious injuries. It is understood the service was attended by members of the travelling community.

PSNI District Commander Ch Supt Emma Bond said "a significant proactive policing operation" had been put in place to maintain public safety.
She added: "A disturbance did break out within the church however it was quickly addressed. A number of dangerous weapons were seized and we are thankful to have been able to remove these items from the streets."

Ch Supt Bond said police were aware of tensions between people at the funeral and appealed for calm.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-northern-ireland-foyle-west-51663762
 
A Traditional Tyrone Funeral

Strabane: Three arrests and 13 hatchets seized after funeral fight


_111062313_strabanefuneral3.png
Image copyrightPSNIImage captionThe weapons seized by police in Strabane

Three men have been arrested in Strabane and a number of weapons seized following a disturbance at a funeral service in the County Tyrone town. The men, aged 22, 32 and 17, were arrested following the service at a church in Melmount Road on Thursday. A number of weapons including Stanley knives and hatchets were seized. Police said there was no evidence shots were fired during the service at St Mary's Church and no reports of any serious injuries. It is understood the service was attended by members of the travelling community.

PSNI District Commander Ch Supt Emma Bond said "a significant proactive policing operation" had been put in place to maintain public safety.
She added: "A disturbance did break out within the church however it was quickly addressed. A number of dangerous weapons were seized and we are thankful to have been able to remove these items from the streets."

Ch Supt Bond said police were aware of tensions between people at the funeral and appealed for calm.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-northern-ireland-foyle-west-51663762

All new-bought. Amateurs.

maximus otter
 
Last Friday one of my friend's daughter's friends died of cancer, and we let people who had known her know.
Friend's daughter put a lovely tribute page on her own Facebook page, just calling her by her nickname.
My friend spent quite a lot of money sending a beautiful bouquet to her mother who had been a friend since they used to live near.
Anyway the mother rang my friend, not to thank her for the flowers, but to demand she tell her daughter to delete the page as she hadn't told all her friends( who would be unlikely to read her post anyway).
My friend asked when was the funeral as we had been looking in the paper.
She said it was on Monday which we thought was very fast., and wondered if her inlaws had been told as they hadn't got along.
My friend rang her daughter and she said that as it was her own Facebook page she would just block them from seeing it.
The father did ring later and thanked her for the flowers but not the mother who was supposed to have been her friend.
 
Last Friday one of my friend's daughter's friends died of cancer, and we let people who had known her know.
Friend's daughter put a lovely tribute page on her own Facebook page, just calling her by her nickname.
My friend spent quite a lot of money sending a beautiful bouquet to her mother who had been a friend since they used to live near.
Anyway the mother rang my friend, not to thank her for the flowers, but to demand she tell her daughter to delete the page as she hadn't told all her friends( who would be unlikely to read her post anyway).
My friend asked when was the funeral as we had been looking in the paper.
She said it was on Monday which we thought was very fast., and wondered if her inlaws had been told as they hadn't got along.
My friend rang her daughter and she said that as it was her own Facebook page she would just block them from seeing it.
The father did ring later and thanked her for the flowers but not the mother who was supposed to have been her friend.
Try to go a bit easy on her. It seems like unpleasant behaviour but she has just lost her daughter to cancer after all. She may not be acting entirely rationally.
 
A deceased woman's coffin popped open when cemetery workers attempted to force it into a grave that was too small. Her surviving children have now filed a lawsuit.
Coffin pops open after NYC cemetery workers try to force casket in too-small grave: lawsuit

Horrified mourners watched as workers at a Brooklyn cemetery tried to force a coffin into a grave that was dug too small, a new lawsuit claims.

The coffin carrying the remains of 79-year-old Claribel Oppenheimer got stuck in the grave and popped open as workers struggled to shake it free during the somber burial-turned-tragic farce on June 24 at The Evergreens Cemetery, according to the lawsuit.

When family and friends looked inside the damaged coffin, Oppenheimer’s hands were no longer folded as they had been in the funeral home because of “rough handling,” the lawsuit alleges.

“I believe that the cemetery is in the business of burying people and I think the most basic thing they do every day is dig holes,” Eric Rothstein, an attorney for the Oppenheimer’s children Jose Semidey and Awilda Rivera, told The Post on Tuesday.

“How something like this happens is beyond me.” ...
FULL STORY: https://nypost.com/2021/08/03/nyc-cemetery-workers-damage-coffin-shoved-it-into-grave-lawsuit/
 
This sounds like a funeral worth attending (discovered on Facebook)!

View attachment 43750
What a terrible thing to happen.

How could the undertaker allow a body to be seen through a glass lid when they must have known the state it was in?

I have personal experience of something like this. No explosions but, well, nasty.
 
What a terrible thing to happen.
How could the undertaker allow a body to be seen through a glass lid when they must have known the state it was in?
I have personal experience of something like this. No explosions but, well, nasty.
I'm pretty confident that newspaper article dates back a century or more.
 
I'm pretty confident that newspaper article dates back a century or more.
Of course. These days bodies are kept refrigerated and that sort of thing shouldn't happen.

But it does happen, and I have seen it. Not, as I said earlier, an actual explosion but still horrific. All down to unusual circumstances and the undertaker's neglect.
 
I'm pretty confident that newspaper article dates back a century or more.
The corpses of a couple of English kings exploded before they could be interred, in more or less gruesome circumstances depending on whose account you read.

William the Conqueror's body was so bloated it had to be virtually stamped into his sarcophagus, during which 'the swollen bowels burst, and an intolerable stench assailed the nostrils of the by-standers and the whole crowd.'

Henry VIII's coffin leaked so badly that dogs were seen to lick at the fluids that dripped from the coffin onto the floor.

Wouldn't happen now.
 
Last edited:
This California child's funeral service was interrupted (and the church evacuated) because a police chase intruded in the middle of the event.
Chula Vista Chase Ends on Church Altar During Funeral Service

A driver led deputies on a meandering 45-minute pursuit from Jamul to a South Bay church on Thursday where he interrupted a funeral service before being taken into custody at the altar.

The chase began about 10:30 a.m. when 40-year-old Jose Epinoza — the subject of a felony arrest warrant for allegedly making criminal threats — refused to yield ...

About 11:15 a.m., he pulled over in front of the Most Precious Blood Catholic Church at Fourth Avenue and Oxford Street, jumped out of the vehicle and ran into the church.

"We stopped the service," Pastor Paul Selvaraj said. "People were wondering who this guy was and I did not know either. ...

At the Altar, Espinoza was put into handcuffs at the altar and escorted from the church by a handful of deputies. Selvaraj said Espinoza was mumbling things, possibly praying, at the altar before he was detained. ...

Selvaraj said the funeral service was for an 11-year-old boy who died from cancer. ...

Funeral attendees were eventually let back inside and the service continued, but not before everyone in the church counted their blessings.
FULL STORY (With Video): https://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/lo...e-fleeing-deputies-arrested-at-altar/2790470/
 
This happened to a friend of mine.

His mother had died and in the period before the funeral some relatives wanted to view her body and pay their respects.

He called the funeral parlour and arranged a time for the viewing. A little while later he got a call back from a very embarrassed undertaker explaining that the viewing would have to delayed as they were unable to locate the corpse. They did eventually and he can see the funny side of it now but he didn't at the time.
 
This happened to a friend of mine.

His mother had died and in the period before the funeral some relatives wanted to view her body and pay their respects.

He called the funeral parlour and arranged a time for the viewing. A little while later he got a call back from a very embarrassed undertaker explaining that the viewing would have to delayed as they were unable to locate the corpse. They did eventually and he can see the funny side of it now but he didn't at the time.
The reason for this may be that the Dearly Departed was not on the premises but stored in a distant 'facility'.
Many undertakers don't have much mortuary space and will rent some from a central specialist company.
 
The reason for this may be that the Dearly Departed was not on the premises but stored in a distant 'facility'.
Many undertakers don't have much mortuary space and will rent some from a central specialist company.
Or G4S..
 
This happened in 2019 but has made headlines again in our local paper.

Lawrence man's casket dropped, broke open, lawsuit says​


LAWRENCE — A local family is suing the Perez Funeral Home, Bellevue Cemetery and the city of Lawrence after their loved one’s casket was dropped into a grave, broke open and the corpse fell out, according to court papers.

Family members of the late Andrew Serrano, a resident of Puerto Rico and Lawrence who died on March 29, 2019, filed the suit Wednesday in Essex Superior Court alleging numerous counts of negligence and negligent and reckless infliction of emotional distress.

Serrano’s family contracted with the Perez Funeral Home following his death. On April 5, 2019, during Serrano’s burial at Bellevue Cemetery “one of the side straps on the city-owned casket lowering device broke, causing Mr. Serrano’s casket to fall into the grave and break apart,” according to the lawsuit.


“When the casket broke apart, Mr. Serrano’s corpse fell out of the casket into the grave and began oozing fluid” in full view of the “horrified family members who became visibly distraught and hysterical,” the suit reads.

Several family members “leapt into the grave” to care for the body, which was ultimately removed and brought back to the funeral home. A few days later Serrano was finally laid to rest, according to the suit.

The suit names the city of Lawrence, E & J Memorial Services, Inc. doing business as Perez Funeral Home, Bellevue Cemetery Board of Trustees and Bellevue Cemetery Board of Directors.


Nine counts are listed in the lawsuit which specify negligence and negligent and reckless infliction of emotional distress. Among the claims are the city of Lawrence, funeral home and cemetery “owed a duty....to handle Mr. Serrano’s human remains in a correct and dignified manner.”

The lawsuit was filed by Methuen attorney Danilo Gomez. The family is seeking at least $50,001 in damages, according to court papers.

A representative from the Perez Funeral Home could not immediately be reached for comment.

Link to story: https://www.eagletribune.com/news/l...cle_41f9f244-3d9e-11ec-a000-8b2084c2c79a.html
 
Back
Top