Funny And/Or Weird Happenings Whilst Drunk

Shady

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#2
Not to me, but a friend, she came to my house warming party and she took home two big bottles of booze, part way there she fell flat on her face and broke a front tooth, she didnt let go of the bottles, nor did she break them, i told her it was her own daft fault for not letting go of them.
 

Mythopoeika

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#4
I once fell into a river but managed to keep my kebab dry (the river was only waist deep). Still, I considered it quite an achievement and do to this day.

There was no supernatural component to this incident.
Spirits were involved...
 

Vida Loca

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#5
Many years ago when I was single I had an impromptu House Party after a works Christmas do in a local pub. Everyone piled back to my house and got the very worst for wear. Those who could still walk and lived nearby went home. Everyone else just crashed wherever in the house. Can't remember a lot apart from a salted peanut fight and the mess it made. Anyway I was woken up the next morning by some kind of commotion in the front bedroom. I was in the back bedroom alone and had gone to bed fully dressed. I got up and went out on the landing to find 2 lads who had both slept in the same room in the front in a right state. The bedroom that they slept in had a window high up overlooking a road, the house was down in a dip and had an embankment and steps up to the road. My neighbours at that time had an old fishing boat that they kept permanently parked up on the road in the residents parking space. One of the boys had got up and glanced out of the window and could see just the boat and the trees. He woke the other lad and they both thought that they were both on a boat on the river. The panic and confusion was hysterical. I bumped into one of them just before Christmas in a pub. He always mentions it and we laugh about it. Ship ahoy!
 
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Dick Turpin

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#6
Many years ago when I was single I had an impromptu House Party after a works Christmas do in a local pub. Everyone piled back to my house and got the very worst for wear. Those who could still walk and lived nearby went home. Everyone else just crashed wherever in the house. Can't remember a lot apart from a salted peanut fight and the mess it made. Anyway I was woken up the next morning by some kind of commotion in the front bedroom. I was in the back bedroom alone and had gone to bed fully dressed. I got up and went out on the landing to find 2 lads who had both slept in the same room in the front in a right state. The bedroom that they slept in had a window high up overlooking a road, the house was down in a dip and had an embankment and steps up to the road. My neighbours at that time had an old fishing boat that they kept permanently parked up on the road in the residents parking space. One of the boys had got up and glanced out of the window and could see just the boat and the trees. He woke the other lad and they both thought that they were both on a boat on the river. The panic and confusion was hysterical. I bumped into one of them just before Christmas in a pub. He always mentions it and we laugh about it. Ship ahoy!
Where do I start. This thread is gonna bring back a few memories.

I suppose getting arrested for drunk and disorderly twice in one night by two different police forces was quite an acheivement
 

gattino

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#7
I once fell into a river but managed to keep my kebab dry (the river was only waist deep). Still, I considered it quite an achievement and do to this day.

There was no supernatural component to this incident.
I'm not so sure. You talking of keeping your kebab dry filled me with horror.

Shades of Jade Goody.
 
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gattino

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#8
The one connection i make between drunkenness and things fortean is FT's mythconceptions column debunking the near universal trope/sneer about witnesses to strange things having been drunk at the time...by pointing out the obvious but somehow unnoticed fact that being pissed does not generally induce hallucinations.
 
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#9
Yes, I've been banging on about this for years. It's astonishing that people feel it necessary to point out that they hadn't been near a pint of lager prior to their UFO sighting ... or that debunkers will say 'well, he says he saw this ghost - but was he on his way back from the pub?'
 
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#12
Dear God.

This is all very unfortunate, but now I have attained maturity I eat a kebab with a knife and fork about four times a year, so it should be fine.

Years ago JG had a go at running a beauty parlour sort of place round these parts and a local wannabe YouTuber boy made a video of himself verbally abusing her. I felt slightly sorry for her for about two minutes.
 

Lord Lucan

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#14
Many years ago in Tokyo, myself, a a guy from Tasmania and two young ladies had enjoyed a few beverages and found ourselves wanting more. Hitting the streets of Shinjuku we found ourselves climbing a staircase to an upstairs bar (the neon signs suggested as much). We were met by a rather startled host in a tuxedo and hostess in Playboy bunny type of outfit with coat tails.
They brought us whisky, the only drink aside from Coke that we all able to understand due to the language barrier. After we finished our drink, the hostess then beckoned us all into another room where there were small booths large enough for two people to sit side by side in, which could be enclosed by a curtain. Aside from the stools we sat on there was only a box of tissues.
Moments after we were all seated, the lights dimmed, music started and a young lady wearing what appeared to be a school uniform appeared in front of us on what appeared to be a large revolving lazy Susan. She then disrobed and put on a rather eye opening performance with a number of rather large & flexible dildos.
After three songs, the lights came back on, the curtains of our booths opened and we were quickly shown the door back down to the street again. It was a most peculiar and interesting evening.
 

Comfortably Numb

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#18
Long time ago, in a foreign land, mate and myself delighted in travelling to Scotland football away games.

So... we ended up on Israel, think it was a play-off game for World Cup qualifying.

Strolling along the beach in Tel Aviv, well into early morning, were naturally quite steamin' drunk, holding each other up and belting out songs.... 'We'll support you evermore', etc.

Did wonder why it was otherwise, deserted, then noticed a striking bright light, not far off the ground, in the distance, becoming steadily even closer.

Jeep, with machine gun mounted, turns up and amidst dazzling spotlight, we can still somehow discern there might be an issue...

Turns out, oblivious to ourselves, there had been, 'profound security incidents' on same beach in recent nights.

Obviously imparting due apologies, Dave and myself expressed the view, 'Surely you can see the funny side of this...?'.

Turned out they were seriously unamused and we ended up handcuffs away from jail...
 

maximus otter

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#19
... we found ourselves climbing a staircase to an upstairs bar (the neon signs suggested as much).
If only the neon signs had displayed enough information to enable you to make an informed choice, instead of the cryptic and evasive “Spanky-wanky Playboy Bunny and dildo stripper whisky bar”.

maximus otter
 

Trevp666

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#20
We have a local 'character' (drunkard/stoner) who is affectionately referred to as 'spaceman tony' due to his encounter on the way home from the boozer one night.
The way he relates the story is that he was walking home when suddenly he found he couldn't move properly, as though his arms and legs were in some sort of glue, then he saw bright lights shining down from above him, and then he was lifted up towards the lights (hey man....it was aliens...), then it all went dark and he felt like he was being thrown from side to side and then he passed out. When he came to, he was laying down on his front lawn and it was 4am (woooo.....missing time too!)
It turned out, some days later, that a couple of the local lads were driving their work van home after an evening shift that day. As they drove past the road leading from the pub they saw spaceman tony, laying backwards in a hedge, thrashing his arms and legs around drunkenly, so they parked the van near him, went over and lifted him out of the hedge, put him in the back of their van, drove him home, lifted him out of the van onto his front lawn, and left him there to sleep it off.
 

Lord Lucan

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#22
If only the neon signs had displayed enough information to enable you to make an informed choice, instead of the cryptic and evasive “Spanky-wanky Playboy Bunny and dildo stripper whisky bar”.

maximus otter
To quote:
“Our happiest moments as tourists always seem to come when we stumble upon one thing while in pursuit of something else.” Lawrence Block
 

Ogdred Weary

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#23
Some times after a brief constitutional to the local hostelry I awake finding myself in varying states of undress, in varying positions, in varying parts of my house which is in varying states of disarray and some degenerate has urinated and/or defecated and/or vomited in various places or in indeed upon my person or clothing. I have long since given up reporting this to the police as they were most unhelpful, likewise Most Haunted and BUFORA did not return my calls. I suspect some sort of conspiracy myself.
 

Comfortably Numb

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#24
Ogdred Weary,

Reminds of time, circa 80's, when mate Colin invited myself along the road to sample his first batch of home made wine.

Two, entire, large glass flagons we consumed (the ones which hold about 5 litres each).

On leaving, Colin escorted myself to the door. We both stood there in amazement... 'look at all the UFOs flying across the sky...:.

Watched this, astounded, for quite sometime, before realising they were stars on a, rare, clear night and everything else around us was revolving as well...
 

Trish71

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#25
Not so sure about what? Sorry, don't understand. A well-prepared kebab represents a fine cuisine with a noble and fascinating history and hardly ever leads to serious medical issues.
Andy X you seem to be a decent and innocent person who has (amazingly!) never watched "Big Brother" and consequently never watched Jade educate the nation that a woman's vagina is also called a "kebab". I guess the paranormal event here, is how on earth did such riveting nonsense keep running for almost 20 years! Lol
 

Ogdred Weary

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#26
Ogdred Weary,

Reminds of time, circa 80's, when mate Colin invited myself along the road to sample his first batch of home made wine.

Two, entire, large glass flagons we consumed (the ones which hold about 5 litres each).

On leaving, Colin escorted myself to the door. We both stood there in amazement... 'look at all the UFOs flying across the sky...:.

Watched this, astounded, for quite sometime, before realising they were stars on a, rare, clear night and everything else around us was revolving as well...
So you each drank approximately 5 litres of homemade wine? You appear to have survived, did Colin?
 

Dick Turpin

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#27
Someone on another thread suggested a new thread. What funny/weird things have happened to you when drunk? Including how you managed to get home etc. Any strange awakenings the next morning or whatever? Any stories of weirdness or of a Fortean nature?
Coming out of a nightclub in Woodford, in the early hours one Sunday morning, the future wife spots a vacant mini cab waiting for a fare, obviously mini cabs are at a premium at that time of the morning, so she successfully makes dash for it, negotiates the fare with the driver, and is sitting in the back seat of the cab waiting for me to catch up.

As I come trotting along behind, I trip over my drunken feet, and my head goes crashing into the driver’s side window.

As it was summer and the window was half open, my head goes completely through the glass, the driver thinking that he has come under attack, drives off at high speed leaving the missus in the back seat, and me sitting on the pavement bleeding and dazed.

I go back to the nightclub for help and hopefully first aid, but the bouncers tell me to FO, and as no other taxi’s would take me due to me being covered in blood, I had to walk the 8 miles or so back home to Shoreditch.

Not one of my better moments – 9 stiches directly underneath the nostrils, 4 in my nose, 4 in my forehead and within a day or two massive black eyes.

Although that sounds horrific, it gave me something to tell the lads in work about, and the missus still pisses herself laughing every time it comes up in conversation

It’s left no lasting damage, although I still have the scars under the nostrils.
 

Swifty

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#28
Coming out of a nightclub in Woodford, in the early hours one Sunday morning, the future wife spots a vacant mini cab waiting for a fare, obviously mini cabs are at a premium at that time of the morning, so she successfully makes dash for it, negotiates the fare with the driver, and is sitting in the back seat of the cab waiting for me to catch up.

As I come trotting along behind, I trip over my drunken feet, and my head goes crashing into the driver’s side window.

As it was summer and the window was half open, my head goes completely through the glass, the driver thinking that he has come under attack, drives off at high speed leaving the missus in the back seat, and me sitting on the pavement bleeding and dazed.

I go back to the nightclub for help and hopefully first aid, but the bouncers tell me to FO, and as no other taxi’s would take me due to me being covered in blood, I had to walk the 8 miles or so back home to Shoreditch.

Not one of my better moments – 9 stiches directly underneath the nostrils, 4 in my nose, 4 in my forehead and within a day or two massive black eyes.

Although that sounds horrific, it gave me something to tell the lads in work about, and the missus still pisses herself laughing every time it comes up in conversation

It’s left no lasting damage, although I still have the scars under the nostrils.
But other than that, you had a wicked night out yeah?

I took a couple of friends to a nightclub none of us had been to before in '97 in Melton Mowbrey, it was an average night until we left the club and a local lad clean cold knocked a bloke out with one punch then started dancing around shouting "ONE PUNCH!" .. the next thing we watched was another lad running after a car that was driving away and snap punching his back windscreen in so we quickly moved to the far end of the car park where I'd parked. Three of these local lads sauntered over to us and on asked if that was my car, I lied and said no, something else kicked off so the lads wandered back to the door. I got myself and my mates in the car and drove off rapidly with the leader turning to look at me with a 'shit, he's just blagged me expression' .. I never went back there.

I was punched through a window being attacked in Skegness once. I had to sleep on a bench inside the local police station, the coppers let me because I was renting inside a building with two of my attackers who were trying to rob me (I was in charge of a float of cash that I had to put in a locker each night, I was working in an arcade). My bottom row of teeth went through my bottom lip, my parents turned up to rescue me, my Mum told me the cleaning ladies in the police station were worried about me but that I was making them laugh by mucking about. Two of the lads went to prison for the attack, I pretended not to know where the third one was because I'd slept with his girlfriend, he slept with her the next day and months later after I'd got back home, I discovered she was pregnant and I didn't know which one of us was the father.
 

Comfortably Numb

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#29
So you each drank approximately 5 litres of homemade wine? You appear to have survived, did Colin?
Mercifully, affirmative!

If not mistaken, was the night, my good Lady companion at the time, discovered myself trying to climb up the front garden lawn, with an empty shoe box under my arm.

Where that originated and my intentions for same, will be an everlasting mystery...
 

PeteS

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#30
But other than that, you had a wicked night out yeah?

I took a couple of friends to a nightclub none of us had been to before in '97 in Melton Mowbrey, it was an average night until we left the club and a local lad clean cold knocked a bloke out with one punch then started dancing around shouting "ONE PUNCH!" .. the next thing we watched was another lad running after a car that was driving away and snap punching his back windscreen in so we quickly moved to the far end of the car park where I'd parked. Three of these local lads sauntered over to us and on asked if that was my car, I lied and said no, something else kicked off so the lads wandered back to the door. I got myself and my mates in the car and drove off rapidly with the leader turning to look at me with a 'shit, he's just blagged me expression' .. I never went back there.

I was punched through a window being attacked in Skegness once. I had to sleep on a bench inside the local police station, the coppers let me because I was renting inside a building with two of my attackers who were trying to rob me (I was in charge of a float of cash that I had to put in a locker each night, I was working in an arcade). My bottom row of teeth went through my bottom lip, my parents turned up to rescue me, my Mum told me the cleaning ladies in the police station were worried about me but that I was making them laugh by mucking about. Two of the lads went to prison for the attack, I pretended not to know where the third one was because I'd slept with his girlfriend, he slept with her the next day and months later after I'd got back home, I discovered she was pregnant and I didn't know which one of us was the father.
What an exciting life you've led Swifty.
 
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