Great Acts Of Stupidity

Joined
Jul 31, 2005
Messages
5,674
Likes
7,102
Points
294
A near miss by an inexperienced BASE jumper. Swearing involved.

The instructors point of view of the same incident. More swearing.
 

uair01

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Apr 12, 2005
Messages
2,154
Likes
1,421
Points
169
Location
Rotterdam
A near miss by an inexperienced BASE jumper. Swearing involved.

I got the shivers from that! I did some climbing and I always was deadly nervous before abseiling, to be sure that every strap was like it should be, the idea that you could fall to your death if you forgot something ...

Once my rope broke, but fortunately just a small height:
https://kazil.home.xs4all.nl/biswing.html
 

Shady

Mary Queen of Scots...temping as DEATHS Kitty
Joined
Apr 24, 2011
Messages
6,439
Likes
7,225
Points
284
I am sure I have seen the 'ripping out eyes woman' somewhere on here
 

escargot

Beloved of Ra
Joined
Aug 24, 2001
Messages
24,472
Likes
18,498
Points
309
I am sure I have seen the 'ripping out eyes woman' somewhere on here
Urrgghhh, just before I read that I'd had that 'tickly face feeling' where you're sure there's a hair across your eye and cheek and rubbed my face vigorously, and thought 'Better go easy on the eyes, don't wanna dig them out!'
 

CarlosTheDJ

Antediluvian
Joined
Feb 1, 2007
Messages
5,602
Likes
4,799
Points
244
Location
Sussex
Drink-driver found asleep in car near Horsham

A drink-driver travelled for two miles on three wheels before deciding to stop and sleep in his vehicle in the middle of the road.

At about 5.15am on 18 February, police were called regarding a broken down Volvo C70 on the A281 at Rudgwick, near Horsham.

On arrival at the scene, they discovered the front nearside wheel was missing and the rear nearside tyre was completely flat. This had caused extensive damage to the road surface.

https://www.sussex.police.uk/news/drink-driver-found-asleep-in-car-near-horsham/
 

skinny

Antediluvian
Joined
May 30, 2010
Messages
6,634
Likes
5,892
Points
284
^ Well we've all done it. At least it was a Volvo and protected the drunken gobshite from harm. Even provided him a comfy napspace. Gods bless Volvos.
 

maximus otter

Recovering policeman
Joined
Aug 9, 2001
Messages
3,991
Likes
7,037
Points
234
1. Well we've all done it.

2. At least it was a Volvo and protected the drunken gobshite from harm.
1. I hope you're joking...

2. Fuck protecting him. What about the other innocent, law-abiding people unknowingly sharing a public road with this murderous twat?

On a personal note, I can remember walking a beat in Bigtown one night and seeing a colleague in his Panda pursuing a female driver along one of the main roads through town. An enormous shower of sparks was being thrown up by one wheel. When he finally managed to stop her it was discovered that she had punctured a tyre and continued to drive on the rim for several miles. I say "on the rim", it was more "on the conical stump of brake and axle parts that remained".

Memory fails to record whether she was pissed or had just gone into "I'll hunch my shoulders and say "La-la-la!" really loudly until I get home and can 'phone mum" mode.

I also dealt with one drunk driver under similar circumstances: I was on patrol in my Panda and came to some temporary traffic lights at a set of roadworks. Ahead of me was a stationary car. The lights went green. He didn't move. They went amber, red and green again. Still no movement. At this point my agile, police-trained mind was suggesting a possible problem. I left my car and knocked on his window. He was slumped, drooling, in the driver's seat: No reaction. I opened the car door and all the silver buttons on my uniform went green from the reek of booze.

I got an early coffee break; he got a bicycle for 12 months.

maximus otter
 
Last edited:

uair01

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Apr 12, 2005
Messages
2,154
Likes
1,421
Points
169
Location
Rotterdam
YOUNG MAN
THERE R LEAVES ALL AROUND
I SAID YOUNG MAN, EAT A LEAF OFF THE GROUND

That's magnificent! I irritated my wife mightily by laughing about it most of the evening.
I searched Google and found that it's a meme. I get the YMCA reference. But where did it originate? And where did YOU get it?
 

escargot

Beloved of Ra
Joined
Aug 24, 2001
Messages
24,472
Likes
18,498
Points
309
YOUNG MAN
THERE R LEAVES ALL AROUND
I SAID YOUNG MAN, EAT A LEAF OFF THE GROUND

That's magnificent! I irritated my wife mightily by laughing about it most of the evening.
I searched Google and found that it's a meme. I get the YMCA reference. But where did it originate? And where did YOU get it?
:D Made me laugh too!

It's in the comments on the 9gag page about the 'call of the void', haven't seen it anywhere else. There are other funny posts on there too!
 

Shady

Mary Queen of Scots...temping as DEATHS Kitty
Joined
Apr 24, 2011
Messages
6,439
Likes
7,225
Points
284
Erm, i was saying it is a good barrier, and the rest was what i used to hear on German war films
 

cycleboy2

Abominable Snowman
Joined
Dec 22, 2005
Messages
968
Likes
1,657
Points
149
From a town I lived in for a few years comes a tale of startling stupidity that beggars the imagination - a 'responsible' adult allowing a young child to lie on the platform of the railway and dangle his head over the track, and then told somebody who wanted to do something about it they were being a 'do-gooder'. Considering 1000 ton freight trains go through the station at a fair-old lick, what, pray tell, could possibly go wrong?!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-44916009

According to calculatorsoup that freight train at 80kph would have a kinetic energy of 246,914,000 joules (i.e. a lot). I suggest that might make a bit of a mess, all things considered...
 

Mythopoeika

I am a meat popsicle
Joined
Sep 18, 2001
Messages
34,385
Likes
19,696
Points
309
Location
Inside a starship, watching puny humans from afar
From a town I lived in for a few years comes a tale of startling stupidity that beggars the imagination - a 'responsible' adult allowing a young child to lie on the platform of the railway and dangle his head over the track, and then told somebody who wanted to do something about it they were being a 'do-gooder'. Considering 1000 ton freight trains go through the station at a fair-old lick, what, pray tell, could possibly go wrong?!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-44916009

According to calculatorsoup that freight train at 80kph would have a kinetic energy of 246,914,000 joules (i.e. a lot). I suggest that might make a bit of a mess, all things considered...
Police should place the child with a more responsible guardian. An actual guardian.
 

escargot

Beloved of Ra
Joined
Aug 24, 2001
Messages
24,472
Likes
18,498
Points
309
From a town I lived in for a few years comes a tale of startling stupidity that beggars the imagination - a 'responsible' adult allowing a young child to lie on the platform of the railway and dangle his head over the track, and then told somebody who wanted to do something about it they were being a 'do-gooder'. Considering 1000 ton freight trains go through the station at a fair-old lick, what, pray tell, could possibly go wrong?!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-44916009

According to calculatorsoup that freight train at 80kph would have a kinetic energy of 246,914,000 joules (i.e. a lot). I suggest that might make a bit of a mess, all things considered...
I'm in the Facebook group where Tom first posted this. Some of the replies from colleagues are little ripe.

The gist is: Trains are fast. They make a mess.
 

escargot

Beloved of Ra
Joined
Aug 24, 2001
Messages
24,472
Likes
18,498
Points
309
IMG_20180723_103507049.jpg
From a town I lived in for a few years comes a tale of startling stupidity that beggars the imagination - a 'responsible' adult allowing a young child to lie on the platform of the railway and dangle his head over the track, and then told somebody who wanted to do something about it they were being a 'do-gooder'. Considering 1000 ton freight trains go through the station at a fair-old lick, what, pray tell, could possibly go wrong?!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-44916009

According to calculatorsoup that freight train at 80kph would have a kinetic energy of 246,914,000 joules (i.e. a lot). I suggest that might make a bit of a mess, all things considered...
Came across an old railway-themed cartoon book and found this one, which seems relevant.
This used to be believed. In fact didn't it crop up in a Sherlock Holmes story?
I seem to remember seeing it attempted in the '60s.
 

catseye

For the greater good
Joined
Feb 1, 2010
Messages
990
Likes
2,636
Points
139
Location
York
My dad worked most of his life on the railways and, as kids, we were brought up crossing the lines on foot on a lot of unmanned crossings. I can verify that you can tell if a train is coming not by putting your ear to the track but by touching the line - there is a vibration if a train is approaching. Although the presence of tonnes of metal can generally be heard from quite a long way away, which tends to render this unnecessary.
 
Top