Great Acts Of Stupidity

uair01

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Smart Yale locks misbehaving:

Yale UK
@YaleSecurity
We're performing unplanned network maintenance and during this time some of our customers may experience connection issues. Whilst we’re working hard to bring you a fix as soon as possible, we expect this may take up to 24 hours. Please watch this space for status updates

Rich Brewer
@richard01902
We’re stuck in the house now. This isn’t good enough Yale.
 

Mythopoeika

I am a meat popsicle
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Mythopoeika

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Smart Yale locks misbehaving:

Yale UK
@YaleSecurity
We're performing unplanned network maintenance and during this time some of our customers may experience connection issues. Whilst we’re working hard to bring you a fix as soon as possible, we expect this may take up to 24 hours. Please watch this space for status updates

Rich Brewer
@richard01902
We’re stuck in the house now. This isn’t good enough Yale.
Not so smart.
 

maximus otter

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meanwhile in Belgium, some technicians accidentally activated the cannon on an F-16, shredded an F-16 in front of them, which exploded and damaged yet another F-16
https://www.aviation24.be/military-...stroyed-maintenance-collateral-damage-second/
The Four Rules of Firearm Safety:

  1. All guns are always loaded.
  2. Never let the muzzle cover anything you are not willing to destroy.
  3. Keep your finger off the trigger until your sights are on the target.
  4. Be sure of your target and what is beyond it.
Classic violation of (1) and (3).

Moron.

maximus otter
 

CarlosTheDJ

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Apart from that, how was the bike?
I think it was fine actually! He flipped over the handlebars and hit the tree back-first head-down when he clipped the kerb. IIRC the bike needed a new front wheel, and some work to the suspension (if that's what it's called on an MC).
 

Swifty

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From 2016. Don't get out of car with tigers around:
https://9gag.com/gag/aQRq1jw
Tsk! .. wimmxn !?

quote from one of the talkbackers in that link:

'The last person to come out of the car was the girl's mum whom died when a second tiger mauled her. This woman later went on china TV talk show and apologies to the nation for her stupidity and causing her mum death. She also tried unsuccessfully to sue the zoo. True story.'
 
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When I was at Uni i had a friend who's brother bought a 600cc (or something) motorbike, and crashed into a tree on his licence test.

Broke his back and was in traction for six months, a wheelchair for a year, and crutches for another six months.
At least he was going for his licence. FOAF - or, to be more precise - the acquaintance of a colleague here has contrived to fracture his C4 vertebra in a motorcycle accident. He's been medi-vacced to Bangkok, where he is awaiting surgery. Oh, and a bill which currently stands the wrong side of US$200,000 and is increasing by the hour, because he thought he wouldn't need medical insurance. Or a motorcycle licence (so even if he had been insured, they would have refused to pay out). Or any riding experience.

The guy is in his 20s. He's unlikely to walk again. His family will be bankrupted by the expense. Trip of a lifetime.
 

escargot

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Ah, but which came first?
Jumping out of cars and capering about is not new. From Wikipedia -

Ghost riding, frequently used in the context of "ghost riding the whip" or simply ghostin', is when a person exits their moving vehicle, and dances beside and around it.
From Know Your Meme:

About
Ghost Riding is term used in "hyphy" culture that refers to the practice of dancing alongside, or on top of, a moving automobile. The car will usually be coasting in neutral gear while the participants are outside and loud music is playing from the moving vehicle.

Origin
Ghost Riding, or "Ghost-Riding The Whip" first became popular with E-40's 2005 hit "Tell Me When To Go"and Mistah FAB's "Ghost Ride It", released in 2008
One imagines it was done before that, as you only need a vehicle with an automatic gearbox and minimal commonsense.
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
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We have a thread on the legendary South American candiru - a small spiny catfish alleged to invade genitals.

Here's a 'WTF' story about a drunken Dutchman who swallowed another, larger spiny catfish as part of a drinking game. It didn't end well, but he survived.

NOTE: Extra moron points are due this guy, because there's video (not included / linked here) of the futile things he tried before having to be taken to the ER after an hour or so had passed.

A Drunk Man Swallowed a Live, Venomous, Spiny Catfish. Here's What Happened.

There are all sorts of drinking traditions. Some people sing songs as they down their alcohol. Others dance to thumping music. Somewhere in the vicinity of Rotterdam, in the Netherlands, a group of young men, apparently inspired by the American television show "Jackass," got in the habit of capping off their boozing by swallowing live fish.

This, it turns out, is a bad idea. Especially in the event that the fish have evolved to fight back.

According to a recent case report published on Jan. 17 in the journal Acta Oto-Laryngologica Case Reports, the young men typically swallowed live goldfish out of their home aquarium — small, squishy creatures that don't put up much of a fight. The fun stopped on April 3, 2016, when one of the men tried to take their tradition a bit further by swallowing a bronze catfish (Corydoras aeneus), a popular aquarium fish with some powerful natural defenses. ...

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the night ended with the 28-year-old man in the emergency room, where puzzled doctors carefully removed the spiny fish from the man's throat. ...

Most animals know better than to eat bronze catfish, said Kees Moeliker, a director at the Rotterdam Natural History Museum who reviewed the catfish remains after doctors removed them from the man's throat. That's for a good reason: Their cute 2- to 3-inch bodies (5 to 8 centimeters) are defended with spines, mounted on their pectoral fins. When the fish get stressed out — say, for example, when they're being swallowed by a predator — those spines become erect and can pump venom into the mouths of their attackers. ...

"This is definitely in the top three of weirdest medical cases I’ve encountered," said case report co-author Dr. Linda Benoist, a medical resident at Rotterdam’s University Medical Center who treated the patient. Benoist told Live Science that she had been aware that the fish-swallowing game was a "bizarre" tradition among some young people in the area. ...
FULL STORY (With Photos): https://www.livescience.com/64588-catfish-swallowed-stuck.html
 

Jim

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We have a thread on the legendary South American candiru - a small spiny catfish alleged to invade genitals.

Here's a 'WTF' story about a drunken Dutchman who swallowed another, larger spiny catfish as part of a drinking game. It didn't end well, but he survived.

NOTE: Extra moron points are due this guy, because there's video (not included / linked here) of the futile things he tried before having to be taken to the ER after an hour or so had passed.


FULL STORY (With Photos): https://www.livescience.com/64588-catfish-swallowed-stuck.html
The show has the correct name. As does anybody trying to repeat these stunts.
 

escargot

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Jumping out of cars and capering about is not new. From Wikipedia -



From Know Your Meme:



One imagines it was done before that, as you only need a vehicle with an automatic gearbox and minimal commonsense.
In fact...

Many years ago when I was a mere snailet I was at college one day chatting to a pal when she mentioned a loony friend of her boyfriend whose party piece was jumping onto the bonnet of a moving car and clinging on until he was slalom'd off.

er, I said, I believe that's my new boyfriend...
 

lordmongrove

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Apparently Mike Tyson offerd a zookeeper £9000 to let him fight a gorilla.The zookeeper would have been committing manslaughter if he opened the cage door. The gorilla would have torn Tyson apart like he was an overcooked chicken. An adult chimp or orang-utan would have killed him let alone a gorilla. https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/boxing/mike-tyson-offered-zoo-keeper-14012538
 
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Mythopoeika

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FelixAntonius

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In fact...

Many years ago when I was a mere snailet I was at college one day chatting to a pal when she mentioned a loony friend of her boyfriend whose party piece was jumping onto the bonnet of a moving car and clinging on until he was slalom'd off.

er, I said, I believe that's my new boyfriend...
I remember many years ago, an idiot who thought it was fun to lurk by some traffic lights & as a car with a roof rack slowed, he would leap up & attempt to ride it.

It went on until an irate motorist gave him a shoeing & he was daft enough to complain to the local copper, who got him to sign a statement & then did him!
 

escargot

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I remember many years ago, an idiot who thought it was fun to lurk by some traffic lights & as a car with a roof rack slowed, he would leap up & attempt to ride it.

It went on until an irate motorist gave him a shoeing & he was daft enough to complain to the local copper, who got him to sign a statement & then did him!
There's an absolutely GOLDEN yarn on b3ta about a cyclist who was run into by a car and -
ooh, here it is!

I was walking home from shop when I saw my mate cycle past. I shouted and he looked round to see who it was. However, whilst he was doing that, a car just ahead of him had stopped at a crossing. My mate, who was going a fair speed hit the back of the car and his bike stopped dead. He didn't however, and the momentum carried him over the handlebars and onto the roof of the car. He would've most likely glided right over the car to land on the road at the other side if the car aerial hadn't snagged on his jogging bottoms, which caused him to slide out of them.

Now, the occupants of the car had spun round to see what the bang was and then turned back around in time to watch my mate slide down the windscreen minus his trousers with his bare genitals pressed against the glass and being stretched out, doing a fine impression of Deirdre's neck (from Coronation Street), finally coming to a halt, face first, with his chin resting on the car bonnet in a very awkward upside down position.

He thrashed about a bit trying to get down, and resigned to pulling his legs out of his trousers completely, whereby he rolled rather gracelessly off the side of the car bonnet and onto the pavement. He picked himself up and in front of a small crowd, stretched up to retrieve his jogging bottoms from the top of the car, giving him the opportunity to press his bollocks against the passenger-side window this time.

I laughed so much I started getting a bit light-headed and had to sit down, and for the next three days my sides ached as if I'd been beaten up.
Still makes me laugh!
 

escargot

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escargot

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:rofl2::rofl2::rofl2::rofl2::rofl2::rofl2::rofl2::rofl2::rofl2::rofl2::rofl2::rofl2::rofl2::rofl2: at the cyclist one
Tyson is a twonk
The cyclist story is soooo well-written. It's a b3ta poster called Sandettie Light Vessel who is always entertaining.

b3ta is not like Reddit, they don't post made-up stories. One can therefore fully believe that Sandettie's cycling friend did indeed deliver a fine impression of Deirdre's neck.
 

Shady

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It is by far the funniest thing I have ever heard, thank you for sharing it X I am suprised they didnt put the windscreen wipers on
 
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