Growing Old—Death Approaches!

Are you growing older?

  • Yes, I am

    Votes: 46 60.5%
  • No, I'm getting younger

    Votes: 16 21.1%
  • Sorry, I don't understand the question

    Votes: 8 10.5%
  • I'm a Mod; I think adding silly polls to chat threads is pointless

    Votes: 6 7.9%

  • Total voters
    76

Comfortably Numb

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When you have so many tablets to take in the morning, if distracted for a moment, you can't remember if you've taken them or not...
 

INT21

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Knock, knock.

Wife answers the door.

Who are you ?

I'm the grim reaper, I've come for your husband; it's time.

One moment please.

Oi, husband, it's the dim creeper, he's come for you, something about a crime.

'tell him I'm not in. Maybe next month'.

You heard the man, says he's not in. Now bugger off.

Sorry Madam. May I call you 'Madam', you certainly look like one. It's this cheap satnav the Devil issues us with; can't be trusted.

You go to Hell.

What, without 'him inside', wouldn't dare. I'll wait. You couldn't run to a cup of tea ?

INT21.
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
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Comfortably Numb

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INT21

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..Then stubbornly refused to accept I was in need of such a thing..

Hey man, don't take any risks with medication.

I have occasionally taken the wrong pills, even with the dispenser.

Ain't no shame in it. we are all getting older.

INT21.
 

GerdaWordyer

Abominable Snowman
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Bad idea to piss off this woman.

A 74-year-old woman stabbed her partner to death after he urinated in her conservatory, a jury heard.

Angela Ayre killed live-in boyfriend Mark Evans, 54, after a night of drinking at their Bedfordshire home, Luton Crown Court was told.The pair were both more than twice over the legal drink-drive limit at the time, at about 23:15 GMT on 8 March 2018. Ms Ayre, of Redfield Close, Dunstable, denies murder. Prosecutor Charles Ward-Jackson said a row broke out between the couple after "both parties had been drinking to excess".

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-46761462
Obviously they were not a fun couple.
 
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Really, this anti-doping agency must have time on it's hands

"January 4th 2019: Usada announced today that Carl Grove, of Bristol, Indiana, an athlete in the sport of cycling, has accepted a public warning for his anti-doping rule violations.

“Grove, 90, tested positive for epitrenbolone, which is a metabolite of the prohibited substance trenbolone, as the result of an in-competition urine sample he provided on July 11th, 2018 after setting a world record at the Masters Track National Championships. While investigating the source of his positive test, it was also determined that a supplement Grove was using prior to July 11th, 2018 was contaminated with clomiphene.

“During Usada’s investigation into the circumstances of his case, Grove provided the agency with information which established that the source of his positive test was more likely than not caused by contaminated meat consumed the evening before competing on July 11th, 2018. Prior to consuming the meat, Grove had tested negative for prohibited substances during an in-competition test on July 10th, 2018.”


https://www.irishtimes.com/sport/us...but-aren-t-there-bigger-fish-to-fry-1.3749172
 

catseye

For the greater good
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I have just (at great length) got rid of a frozen shoulder. Caused by nothing, it just arrived.

Only to wake up this morning with a swollen, immobile elbow. ELBOW! I ask you! Again, I've done nothing, I've not even spoken badly of it, It's just decided to be swollen and painful.

I am consoling myself with the thought that maybe it's working its way down my arm. One day I will have sore fingers and then - nothing, I will be cured!

Bastard aches and pains.
 

catseye

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Lost the car at Morrison's twice in 3 days - had to walk up and down the rows before finding the car nowhere near where I parked it. The propect of having the car stolen is less troublesome than the propect of losing my marbles.
This is not a marker of old age. My daughter met me at the airport in Melbourne, then we had to spend 45 minutes (and one call through to the car park supervisors) whilst I dragged my suitcases after a 24 hour flight, looking for where she'd parked it. She's 26.
 

INT21

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catseye,

Did the same at Manchester once.

Since then I always write the location number of the parking bay somewhere safe. usually in my wallet.

Manchester long term car park is just so big! (and expensive).

INT21.
 

Coal

Polymath Renaissance Man, Italian Wiccan Anarchist
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Only to wake up this morning with a swollen, immobile elbow. ELBOW! I ask you! Again, I've done nothing, I've not even spoken badly of it, It's just decided to be swollen and painful.
Are you sleeping on it, as it were. I had trouble with a wrist/thump joint and eventually twigged I was sleeping on my arm with the wrist bent.
 

escargot

Beloved of Ra
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This is not a marker of old age. My daughter met me at the airport in Melbourne, then we had to spend 45 minutes (and one call through to the car park supervisors) whilst I dragged my suitcases after a 24 hour flight, looking for where she'd parked it. She's 26.
I once complained that my suitcase had gone missing because it was a new one and I didn't recognise it on the carousel.

Even when it was the very last one, going round and round and round and round...
 

Iris

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I once complained that my suitcase had gone missing because it was a new one and I didn't recognise it on the carousel.

Even when it was the very last one, going round and round and round and round...
I always tie a light short bright pink patterned scarf on mine because no one else has anything like it.
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
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I always tie a light short bright pink patterned scarf on mine because no one else has anything like it.
I've used stickers, yellow / black industrial safety tape, and even deliberately applied splotches of contrasting colored spray paint to make my luggage uniquely identifiable.
 

INT21

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I have picked up someone elses' case and carried it out the door.

I realised as soon as I got outside. So waited for another passenger to trigger the automatic doors and then took it back and replaced it on the carousel. No one appeared to notice.

INT21.
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
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Taking up the trapeze isn't one of the more popular pastimes for those in their 80's ...
86-year-old trapeze artist dubbed world's oldest
An 86-year-old California woman is swinging into the Guinness Book of World Records as the world's oldest trapeze artist.

Betty Goedhart of La Jolla said she never would have captured the record for oldest performing flying female trapeze artist if she hadn't received a gift certificate for a lesson at Trapeze High in Escondido for her 78th birthday.

She said trying the sport helped her overcome her longstanding fear of heights.

"Very frightened of heights, very scared of standing on that platform and looking down and it's higher than you think," Goedhart told KSWB-TV. "But I'm here, I jumped and it was like it changed my life."

Goedhart now has a spot in the 2019 Guinness Book of World Records, but she said she hopes her record doesn't stand forever.

"But I hope somebody beats me someday," Goedhart said. "I was honored and it still is an honor."
SOURCE (With VIDEO):
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2019/0...ze-artist-dubbed-worlds-oldest/7561547061569/
 

Comfortably Numb

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Signs of growing old...

- when you start muttering and talking to yourself. Daughter noticed I've been doing that a lot recently.

- when you start calling your granddaughter by your daughter's name and vice versa.

- when you're looking up something on Google and realise you've already done that and bookmarked the page.

- when you've just been for a wee and then need another one two minutes later.

- when your weekly shopping trip to the supermarket starts taking you past the isle where the incontinence pants are and find yourself mumbling, "Jeez oh, have you seen the price of them"...
 

Comfortably Numb

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I have just (at great length) got rid of a frozen shoulder. Caused by nothing, it just arrived.

Only to wake up this morning with a swollen, immobile elbow. ELBOW! I ask you! Again, I've done nothing, I've not even spoken badly of it, It's just decided to be swollen and painful...
Just slowly recovering from a 'trapped nerve' in my upper right arm. Up much too late and fell asleep at the computer. Woke up and head was leaning/resting on my hand - elbow also duly resting on the wooden arm of chair.

Result being the weirdest thing.. although diagnosed as such, it was my hand which was affected:

- I could hold a teaspoon, yet couldn't move it to stir my tea/coffee

- I could hold a pen, yet couldn't propel it in any direction

- I could place a finger on the mouse button, yet simply couldn't press it down.

I had to carry my passport around with me for ID - I could only barely manage a scribbled 'X' as my signature. :(
 

catseye

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Just slowly recovering from a 'trapped nerve' in my upper right arm. Up much too late and fell asleep at the computer. Woke up and head was leaning/resting on my hand - elbow also duly resting on the wooden arm of chair.

Result being the weirdest thing.. although diagnosed as such, it was my hand which was affected:

- I could hold a teaspoon, yet couldn't move it to stir my tea/coffee

- I could hold a pen, yet couldn't propel it in any direction

- I could place a finger on the mouse button, yet simply couldn't press it down.

I had to carry my passport around with me for ID - I could only barely manage a scribbled 'X' as my signature. :(
Sometimes I wish there was an 'unlike' button... hope it's soon completely better, Numb..
 
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