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Ageing & Growing Old

Are you growing older?

  • Yes, I am

    Votes: 82 61.7%
  • No, I'm getting younger

    Votes: 28 21.1%
  • Sorry, I don't understand the question

    Votes: 16 12.0%
  • I'm a Mod; I think adding silly polls to chat threads is pointless

    Votes: 7 5.3%

  • Total voters
    133
I can't remember how long ago the story was placed, but a pensioner with war medals would put it in the 1990's ?

Are you old enough to be implicitly assuming that "war medals" means WW2? ;) I forget the exact statistic but I think there have only been one or two years since the end of WW2 when British forces have not been in action somewhere in the world. So a pensioner could have received medals from almost any conflict of the 20th or 21st Century.
 
I was involved with the end of the pension book and the giro cheque, the Direct Payments initiative, when I worked in the DWP. That happened around the autumn of 2004. So the story is unlikely to be "set" any later than that.

At some point in the not entirely distant past I had a job where I'd take the books and collect pensions in cash for clients and get their shopping.
One such errand led to the funniest sight I have EVER seen. Still makes me giggle.
 
And? *cof, cof*

OK.

I went to collect a client's pension. A snooty Post Office clerk informed me that as a new book had been issued the old one must be destroyed in case of fraud, looking pointedly at ME, as if I was a natural pension-thief. Highly offensive and unnecessary.

She then proceeded to tear in half THE NEW BOOK.

I said 'Haha, you're ripping up the wrong book!' and her snobby face filled with horror as she realised I was right, too late to stop her hands from moving.

I was immediately hysterical with laughter, pointing and roaring and wiping away tears of hilarity.
She said 'It's not funny!' and I said 'Oh yes it is!' and laughed harder.

I then demanded that she a. inform her supervisor of her mistake b. write a letter of explanation to the client c. also ring the client immediately to inform her of it and d. repair the book as I would need to produce it to prove I hadn't stolen it.

The client was a hateful, suspicious old bag who deeply resented having to hand over her pension book so I wasn't taking any chances.

The next half hour or so of humiliation for the clerk was deeply satisfying to me. She taped all the torn pages together and made the phone call in front of me, and the supervisor and I helped her draft the letter.

I laughed the whole time and the memory amused me for many years afterwards. Still makes me giggle.
 
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OK.

I went to collect a client's pension. A snooty Post Office clerk informed me that as a new book had been issued the old one must be destroyed in case of fraud, looking pointedly at ME, as if I was a natural pension-thief. Highly offensive and unnecessary.

She then proceeded to tear in half THE NEW BOOK.

I said 'Haha, you're ripping up the wrong book!' and her snobby face filled with horror as she realised I was right, too late to stop her hands from moving.

I was immediately hysterical with laughter, pointing and roaring and wiping away tears of hilarity.
She said 'It's not funny!' and I said 'Oh yes it is!' and laughed harder.

I then demanded that she a. inform her supervisor of her mistake b. write a letter of explanation to the client c. also ring the client immediately to inform her of it and d. repair the book as I would need to produce it to prove I hadn't stolen it.

The client was a hateful, suspicious old bag who deeply resented having to hand over her pension book so I wasn't taking any chances.

The next half hour or so of humiliation for the clerk was deeply satisfying to me. She taped all the torn pages together and made the phone call in front of me, and the supervisor and I helped her draft the letter.

I laughed the whole time and the memory amused me for many years afterwards. Still makes me giggle.
I've just read to the Mrs and she's laughing with you :)

There's a couple of old people who live together in my town who I get along with who I'm concerned about. To skip to the end, I'm 100% sure they qualify for social care but I'm not 'in the job' anymore so I had to speak to the fella in a very careful way so as to not offend him after he opened up to me about how he can't cope anymore. I'm going to contact *****, one of my old bosses who's still in the job and ask her advice but obviously not do anything without his full involvement. Hopefully the stars will align and she'll get involved.
 
I've just read to the Mrs and she's laughing with you :)

There's a couple of old people who live together in my town who I get along with who I'm concerned about. To skip to the end, I'm 100% sure they qualify for social care but I'm not 'in the job' anymore so I had to speak to the fella in a very careful way so as to not offend him after he opened up to me about how he can't cope anymore. I'm going to contact *****, one of my old bosses who's still in the job and ask her advice but obviously not do anything without his full involvement. Hopefully the stars will align and she'll get involved.

Awwww, you're an old softie!
 
I've just read to the Mrs and she's laughing with you :)

There's a couple of old people who live together in my town who I get along with who I'm concerned about. To skip to the end, I'm 100% sure they qualify for social care but I'm not 'in the job' anymore so I had to speak to the fella in a very careful way so as to not offend him after he opened up to me about how he can't cope anymore. I'm going to contact *****, one of my old bosses who's still in the job and ask her advice but obviously not do anything without his full involvement. Hopefully the stars will align and she'll get involved.


You're Top Shelf mate - a bloody bottler. Onya.
 
Just tell her 'the worst thing was the smell of the patchouli oil and the burning joss sticks'.
I just bought these (my photo)...:lolling:

20181231_202652772.jpg
 
Lost the car at Morrison's twice in 3 days - had to walk up and down the rows before finding the car nowhere near where I parked it. The propect of having the car stolen is less troublesome than the propect of losing my marbles.
 
Lost the car at Morrison's twice in 3 days - had to walk up and down the rows before finding the car nowhere near where I parked it. The propect of having the car stolen is less troublesome than the propect of losing my marbles.

I actually did report my vehicle stolen...then remembered that I'd parked at the bank, across the road, then walked across to the supermarket, which was where I thought that I'd parked it.

I rang the police to explain my error.

They told me that if I was pulled over, to not make any sudden movements.
 
When half the time you spend online, is checking the 'Patient Access' app, hoping there's an appointment cancellation...

201913_22437302.jpg
 
Bad idea to piss off this woman.

A 74-year-old woman stabbed her partner to death after he urinated in her conservatory, a jury heard.

Angela Ayre killed live-in boyfriend Mark Evans, 54, after a night of drinking at their Bedfordshire home, Luton Crown Court was told.The pair were both more than twice over the legal drink-drive limit at the time, at about 23:15 GMT on 8 March 2018. Ms Ayre, of Redfield Close, Dunstable, denies murder. Prosecutor Charles Ward-Jackson said a row broke out between the couple after "both parties had been drinking to excess".

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-46761462
 
Ramonmercardo,

From your post about the stabbing.

..
When he arrived at their house however, Mr West told the jury he found Mr Evans coming round from unconsciousness.
He said: "I asked if he was okay. His response was that Angela was washing up.
"He went behind and grabbed her breasts and she elbowed him in the forehead.".
.

Damn good job he didn't make a presidential style grab for her pussy.

INT21
 
When you have so many tablets to take in the morning, if distracted for a moment, you can't remember if you've taken them or not...
 
Knock, knock.

Wife answers the door.

Who are you ?

I'm the grim reaper, I've come for your husband; it's time.

One moment please.

Oi, husband, it's the dim creeper, he's come for you, something about a crime.

'tell him I'm not in. Maybe next month'.

You heard the man, says he's not in. Now bugger off.

Sorry Madam. May I call you 'Madam', you certainly look like one. It's this cheap satnav the Devil issues us with; can't be trusted.

You go to Hell.

What, without 'him inside', wouldn't dare. I'll wait. You couldn't run to a cup of tea ?

INT21.
 
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