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"I was in the car wash yesterday and as usual I wondered why no one has made use of one in a horror flick. "

The Crazies (2010):

Thanks I'll have to look them up. And just after I posted I saw an episode of NCIS where one of the team runs thru a car wash after the bad guy.
 
Day Shift: A horror comedy which might have worked better if it hadn't have been played laughs. It's got good vampire lore and a great story-line about different types of vampires combining in a scheme to take over once again. In the old days humans used to worship vampires, now Audrey (Karla Souza) sees herself as leader of the United Vampires; she;s even developed extra strong sunblock so that they can venture out in daylight. Bud (Jamie Foxx) has been thrown out of the Vampire Hunters Union because of his reckless tactics, he has to get back in if he's to earn enough to deal with his everyday problems. Some great fight scenes, silver tipped wooden bullets and talking heads. It's a good comedy but had more potential. Directed by J. J. Perry, with a screenplay by Tyler Tice and Shay Hatten. On Netflix. 7/10.
 
Thanks I'll have to look them up. And just after I posted I saw an episode of NCIS where one of the team runs thru a car wash after the bad guy.

In fact, there are probably enough horror films featuring car washes for the genre to merit its own thread.

Fancy the worst car wash joke ever?
My car was looking a bit grubby and my wife ordered me to get it cleaned up at the local petrol station.
When I drove there though I saw a sign saying "Car wash out of order".
So I dried my car, waxed it, sprayed it with water and then squirted on the car shampoo....
 
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One of the Final Destination movies used a car wash for a potential death scene (as I recall, the character survived that, but not much else), which was quite effective.
 
Nope: Science Fiction/Horror, difficult to say much about the horror aspects without giving away major plot points, sames goes for the peculiar type of UFO/UAP involved. But there's plenty of quirky characters including Ricky (Keith Yeun), he runs a Western Theme Park, he was a child actor in Kid Sheriff and Gordy's Home; in the last episode of Gory's Home a chimp playing Gordy went apeshit, killing or maiming all the cast members apart from Ricky. In a ranch next to Ricky's, horse trainer for Hollywood, Otis (Keith David) is killed by a nickel falling from the sky, his horse is injured by key. Otis's children OJ (Daniel Kaluuya) and Emerald (Keke Palmer) inherit the ranch, the restrained OJ trying to keep things going, Emerald being a bit narcissistic and flamboyant. But the strange events continue, power cuts occur as OJ spots a UFO, the siblings decide to install more cameras hoping to make money from UFO footage. They bring onboard Angel to install the surveillance system and he turns out to be equally offbeat. Thus begins the hunt. There are a few jump scares but and some quite gruesome and disturbing scenes but the film largely depends on building a sense of weirdness as the narrative unfolds. There is a streak of dark humour which runs throughout the film, a lot of it supplied by the antics of Emerald. OJ and Angel, gallows humor indeed at times. It's a bit of a road movie confined to a ranch and the road crew grows as they are joined by Antlers Holst (Michael Wincott), a famed filmmaker. Some great cinematography, script and effects. Written, directed, and co-produced by Jordan Peele who delivers the goods once again, my one caveat being that the 130 minute running time would have benefited from a 10 minute cut. 8.5/10.

In cinemas.
 
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I never did get a chance to see Nope a second time, but hopefully it'll hit streaming at some point. I liked the gallows humour and definitely think I missed some things the first time. I did love how the UAP(?) was designed.
 
I never did get a chance to see Nope a second time, but hopefully it'll hit streaming at some point. I liked the gallows humour and definitely think I missed some things the first time. I did love how the UAP(?) was designed.

lets not say too much about the UFO/UAP!
 
Wot you on about mate? .. is the weed kicking in?
The clip is all about the revenge of the machines against a human horror. I'm looking for ghostly faces coming out of the soap and brushes and tapering fingers along the windows horror.
 
The clip is all about the revenge of the machines against a human horror. I'm looking for ghostly faces coming out of the soap and brushes and tapering fingers along the windows horror.
I do remember being a bit afraid when my Mum drove us through one of these things for the first time in the early 80's, so it makes sense to me personally that horror clips have been made about them .. pure 'into the belly of the beast' stuff ... a bit like those Clarke's shoe's machines when I had to put my foot inside a (probably) belt drive machine so it could measure my foot and I was thinking "what if some engineer's fucked up, the machine doesn't know when to stop and my foot ends up being crushed?!" .. same anxiety with the car wash drive throughs ...
 
Orphan: First Kill: Prequel to Orphan (2009), Isabelle Fuhrman reprises her role as Leena, the psychotic 30 year old Person Of Restricted Growth (PORG) who is an 8 year old in this film set in 2007 in Estonia. Some very disturbing horror scenes throughout the film but it does pivot into being a black comedy about half way through. There are some plot twists at this point which I can't reveal without giving away too much. Leena is confined to a Forensic Psychiatric Unit but she manipulates guards and other patients, escaping, leaving a trail of bodies behind her. She takes on the identity of an american girl who disappeared in 2003. Back in the bosom of "her family" in the US she faces some suspicion but continues with her wily ways. fuhrman is actually 1.6 metres tall and now 23 years of age so a body double was needed for some scenes. Parts of this film may not add up but just take it for what it is - a slasher/black comedy movie. Suspend your disbelief and enjoy it! Directed by William Brent Bell, written by David Coggeshall, 7/10.

In Cinemas
 
I do remember being a bit afraid when my Mum drove us through one of these things for the first time in the early 80's, so it makes sense to me personally that horror clips have been made about them .. pure 'into the belly of the beast' stuff ... a bit like those Clarke's shoe's machines when I had to put my foot inside a (probably) belt drive machine so it could measure my foot and I was thinking "what if some engineer's fucked up, the machine doesn't know when to stop and my foot ends up being crushed?!" .. same anxiety with the car wash drive throughs ...
About 15 or so years back I was in a car wash and the rollers got caught in the rear spoiler which lifted the back of the car up until the spoiler broke off. Not been in one since funnily enough....
 
Deep Rising (1998), on Disney+

An unashamed Alien/Aliens knock-off, set on a huge, state-of-the-art ocean liner.

A gang of ruthless mercenaries hijack a cruise-liner, only to find it devoid of passengers but with some mysterious killing machine on board.
Pretty well every character is a paper-thin cliché. There's the shouty hard-man, the muscle-head, the coward, the womaniser, the corporate sleaze-ball, the beautiful opportunistic thief (Famke Jannsen providing wisecracks and eye-candy in equal measure) etc. Treat Williams is the square-jawed old man of the sea, initially unaware that he is transporting mercenaries. He often repeats the line "now what?" just before the next catastrophe occurs. In fact almost every line spoken is a tongue-in-cheek one-liner as, in case you didn't guess, Deep Rising never takes itself too seriously and is, at times, outrageously funny. It also features one of the most bloody disgusting death scenes ever - and who could resist a character listed in the credits as "half-digested Billy"?
Unoriginal, terminally clichéd, perhaps a tad too long and with the toothed and tentacled creature-feature CGI effects being barely adequate, but something of a cult classic guilty pleasure, if you're prepared to leave your brain at home for 100 minutes.

Whilst Deep Rising's mantelpiece was never going to be weighed down with Oscars, I'll award it a 6.5/10 for the fun factor.




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Beast: I won't lionise Idris Elba but he's pretty nifty as Nate who fights a rogue lion. There is some family filler as well, he's a widower with two troubled teen daughters, the three of them visit a animal reserve in South Africa near where Nate's wife grew up. The lion goes rogue because poachers killed the rest of his pride. He displays the odd behaviour that has been recorded in only a few cases - attacking humans without provocation, killing them and not eating them afterwards. Some great scenes of fighting off a lion who tries to get into a crashed land rover, this is Jaws on land, existential terror as the lion tries to bite you through the windows. The lion takes his prey silently when he chooses but will get loudly in your face as well. The chase/battle continues outdoors and in the confines of a ruined church. Maybe the real beasts are the poachers though. I felt like cheering as the lion chomped on them. not a classic but there are some good jump scares and the drama is maintained rising to tension at appropriate points. Directed by Baltasar Kormákur from a screenplay by Ryan Engle. 7/10.

In cinemas.
 
"I won't lionise Idris Elba"

Oh come on Ramon, my mane man, surely you could do better than that on this fine chewsday?
When I claw your review, I didn't have to paws before clicking to like it, but I would be lion if I didn't express disappointment fur the pawcity of roarsome puns. Fangs have reached a sorry state when someone who usually takes pride in his puns is no longer quite cub to scratch. Bit of a sorry tail in fact.
Btw, does the soundtrack include “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”? Whenever I hear that, my urge to sing along is just a whim away... a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away...
 
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