I've seen 'Always Look On The Bright Side of Life' on a gravestone near here. The deceased also provided a nice marble bench for the ease of weary mourners. Sounds like a lovely chap!
Walter de la Mare wrote a few short stories which included many epitaphs, a couple I like being -
Preserve you in a large cider container and put you on display in a Natural History Museum.When I die I want to be forgotten about ASAP. Anyone who wants to make a fuss can do so now while I'm here.
I like cider, Bounty bars and Snickers, all types of fruit, scented flowers (supermarket carnations will do) and brightly-coloured socks, in case you're wondering.
Or donations to cat rescue charities would be nice.
My family home was / is adjacent to a quite old (by American standards ...) cemetery, and I spent a lot of idle and quiet time there during my childhood. As a result, I happen to like cemeteries as something akin to a park. This is why I've always appreciated those rare graves which make provision for visitors to linger, sit, etc.... The deceased also provided a nice marble bench for the ease of weary mourners. Sounds like a lovely chap!
If I ever have a gravestone, it'd say 'Here lies a great worrier'.
My longstanding favorite is the punch line to the oldest joke that still tickles me:Mine would just say, "Whatever you do, DON'T REMOVE THE STAKE"
It’s time to put the fun back into funeral. Yes, it’s going to be the party of your life. After all, you only die once. It’s your special day. Why not make it a themed occasion? Perhaps the coffin-bearers could be dressed up as superheroes? Or maybe a MasterChef theme? Do you think Gregg Wallace might be available to take the ceremony? I was once asked by a group of mourners if they could put a snow machine on the roof of St Paul’s Cathedral, because the deceased “loved the snow”, they explained.
Funerals have become the new weddings. For just as weddings have gorged themselves on inflated self-promotion, so funerals are now doing the same. They are becoming extravagant forms of self-expression, designed to articulate our individuality.
And yet, of course, there is something very obviously odd about all of this. For self-expression and individuality are not characteristics of the dead. Funeral orations may sound more and more like a best man’s speech, with the inevitable weak jocularity. But there is nothing more incongruous than “because I’m worth it” consumerism when practised by – or even on behalf of – those who no longer exist. The funeral is not just one more occasion for us to be centre stage or party hosts, in absentia. It is precisely our permanent absence that is being acknowledged. It is non-being that gives the gathering its very point.
I'm of two minds about this essay ...Has the trend for individualised funerals gone too far?
The rise of so-called happy funerals is no laughing matter
... he's essentially filtered the deceased out of the scenario entirely, and thus made it all about everyone else.... This is a problem in part because the happy funeral, in refusing to allow a life’s end to impact us in all its darkness, is no longer helping us through the grieving process. But also because there is a fundamental form of denial going on in a society that cannot cry or get upset or just sit with its own grief without having to distract itself with a bit of a laugh ...
https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/real-life/party-loving-93-year-old-12010434Party-loving 93-year-old to attend own funeral wake in local boozer so she doesn’t miss the fun
Ethel Leather is dubbing this month's party "my golden years" and says it is the prefect chance for her family and friends to come together to celebrate her life.
Rolls-Royce worker told the Derby Telegraph : “I’m not missing out on my party. I didn’t want them to enjoy themselves without me.
I, the under-mentioned, by this document
Do declare my true intentions, my last will, my testament.
When I turn up my toes, when I rattle my clack, when I agonise,
I want no great wet weepings, no tearing of hair, no wringing of hands,
No sighs, no lack-a-days, no woe-is-me's and none of your sad adieus.
Go, go, go and get the priest and then go get the booze, boys.
Got the playlist ready right here on this usb stick. Where do we insert it?I was talking about music for my cremation last night: Rock n Roll Heart by Lou Reed, Ein Kleine Nachtmusik by Mozart, Dearg Doom by Horslips and a medley of Light My Fire/Both Ends Burning/Ashes To Ashes as a finale.