I was sitting in the pub minding my own business when this girl sneezed and her glass eye flew out.. I reached out quickly and it landed in my hand...I took it back to her and we got chatting...After a few beers and a bit of flirting I took her back to my place and we shagged for hours...
When we'd finished I asked her "Do you shag everyone on a first date?" She said "No, only the ones that catch my eye."
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a
transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, ‘Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.’
‘I have a better idea,’ she replied, ‘Just for tonight, let’s pretend that we’re married’.
‘Wow! That’s a great idea!’ he exclaimed.
‘Good,’ she replied, ‘Get your own f***ing blanket!’